Somnophilia: A developing interest.

[Ourorboros]

Hello, so... this is in part my introduction and also a question/open discussion/information gathering type.... thing...

Firstly: Hello, I am Ouro.

So, I recently entered into my first real life relationship(e.g. one that extended beyond an internet connection) and me and my partner have very quickly found some equally perverse joy to be had with one another however a new kink has started to form for me which I hadn't really taken an interest in before and thankfully its shared by my partner.

unfortunately i'm finding it slightly difficult to find much information on it;

somnophilia

or atleast thats the best word i can find to describe it.

essentially both me and my boyfriend use drugs and i have to tendency to slip into sort of dream/meditation/sleep states; well, one thing led to another and now both me and him are absolutely enthralled by me being completely/semi unconscious(or atleast lifelessly still) as he fucks me.

and so im wondering whether this is something people have any experience with? any advice and possibly any recommended reads?

for me, its all about the mental submission, turning yourself off and being used like some inanimate puppet, so if anyone knows any particular mental techniques im all ears.

And for anyone with similar wants/interests, please feel free to post your own questions or whatever seems relevant, im very interested to hear about other peoples experiences.

also, im unsure whether this should be here or the fetish section, i personally class this has being part of BDSM as its submissive but perhaps not, any mods please feel free to move.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

This seems like a form of bondage, and gets my vote for belonging. I can't say that I have anything helpful to add to your topic, but welcome!

 

[unregistered]

 

[Endless_Night]

Nothing to add, either, but have to say the idea is...interesting. I see where it could be very erotic under the right circumstances.

Welcome to Lit!

 

[OzoneRed]

Wouldn't having sex with someone who is unable to give consent be rape? Even though prior consent was given?

 

[MeekMe]

Wouldn't having sex with someone who is unable to give consent be rape? Even though prior consent was given?

Would it be rape if the person gave consent to be tied up and fucked while wearing a ball gag? The key here is that they are consenting and have made prior arrangements.

 

[Cumference]

Hmmmm, I can see something erotic about the idea.

Do you want to be conscious but immobile, or do you want to "go under" knowing that you will wake up and be thoroughly fucked?

After having known Lady C for 20 years (+), I would trust her enough to let her do that to me, but I know no one else I would trust that far.

(apart from anesthetics to enable necessary surgery of course)



As far as the drugs go, I will refrain from commenting.
(but do be careful!)

 

[IrisAlthea]

Wouldn't having sex with someone who is unable to give consent be rape? Even though prior consent was given?

If we are going to be strict about it, you cannot consent to assault or bodily harm either.

In my experience, there is a lot of fun to be had with sleep and sex.
This has been with someone I knew very well though. Doing it with someone you don't know to be safe and stable, could get you into a lot of trouble, but that goes for a lot of things, considering the regulations on what you can consent to, the risks involved in bondage etc.

 

[Alliecat1970]

My SO and I have had a similar experience inadvertently. I very infrequently take sleeping pills. On this occasion, I had taken a sleeping pill. prior to it taking effect, we started engaging in intimate activities. Somewhere along the way, I began slipping in and out of a dream state. He indicated that he didn't realize what was happening until I started describing and reacting to what I was dreaming while we were having sex. He kept asking questions and I kept describing my dream.

My memory of the encounter is a bit confused, but not such that I would feel that there was anything non consensual. It did seem to be a bit of a turn on for him.

 

[Cumference]

I have a slightly similar experience.

In that case there were no pharmaceuticals involved, but a shaving and massage, that made her totally relaxed and drifting of to sleep.
Then I slowly woke her up again with oral.

But I can't say for sure where she was awake, sleeping or in between.
(But all of it was great fun)

 

[Ourorboros]

Heya all, thanks for the warm welcome, looking forward to hopefully getting to know you all better!

Do you want to be conscious but immobile, or do you want to "go under" knowing that you will wake up and be thoroughly fucked?

After having known Lady C for 20 years (+), I would trust her enough to let her do that to me, but I know no one else I would trust that far.

i understand what you mean, personally for me the trust element(and the helplessness that entails) is a large part of it but then again so is essentially any form of bondage, do you trust the person to stop whipping you just because you shout your safety word?

as for conscious or immobile, a bit of both, really, I want to be vaguely aware of whats going on but with out any ability to stop or even influence it. the immobility is a required constant but the level of consciousness is certainly something we want to play around with though i dont feel it would be possible to stay completely conscious(nor do i think i'd want to) and achieve the same effect; you'd react, little muscle spasms, tensing and untensing, that sort of stuff, which would ruin it for my partner.

My SO and I have had a similar experience inadvertently. I very infrequently take sleeping pills. On this occasion, I had taken a sleeping pill. prior to it taking effect, we started engaging in intimate activities. Somewhere along the way, I began slipping in and out of a dream state. He indicated that he didn't realize what was happening until I started describing and reacting to what I was dreaming while we were having sex. He kept asking questions and I kept describing my dream.

My memory of the encounter is a bit confused, but not such that I would feel that there was anything non consensual. It did seem to be a bit of a turn on for him.

ah! this touches on something im very interested in, the ability to dream while having sex! i've personally always been a visual person in my head, hell, i still remember one of my first shared orgasm's was me walking up a crystal tower, couldn't tell you much about the sensations but the images stick.

and its one of the things about this besides the submissive elements that i really enjoy, the ability to sort of just let your mind wander free during what is essentially a very physically and emotionally intense moment and being allowed to.

 

[Cumference]

Regarding the drug part.


It is hard enough to achieve the desired effect with standardized, prescribed, well tested drugs. Illicit substances won't make it easier.

Your safety is of course important, but remember your partner's as well.

If you get hurt in any way, chances are, that given the circumstances, he will be in deep, deep shit!

 

[seela]

There's been discussion about it.

I'm still into it. It's difficult to make it into reality, so it hasn't happened often during our years together. Worth it to me, though.

 

[redsiren17]

Can't say I have any advice or recommended reads. And I don't think I'm at much liberty to give much BDSM advice either as I'm new to it.

However, I've had similar experiences, inadvertently, while also taking medications for insomnia. I found that Ambien made me very touchy and horny before falling asleep. My boyfriend at the time loved that it relaxed me so much and allowed me to reach orgasm so easily. However, he was very good (to my knowledge) to make sure anything and everything happened before I fell dead asleep because he, like someone above brought up, associated having sex with me asleep as rape because I couldn't give consent throughout our activities. And there were times I did fall asleep in the middle of things. Sucked for him! The sex was fantastic, though!

Unfortunately, I had to stop taking the medication because I'd built up to a tolerance, and taking such a high dosage began to give me amnesia. No other medication has worked the same

Good luck to you!