Looking for some advice please

[bdsmchick94]

I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 months and we’re really in love. When we first started meeting up the play was really good, but recently he’s stopped using the belt and cane and paddle. He says he struggles to do anything with pain any more because there are all the feelings which weren’t there at the start.

Any advice on what we can do? I don’t like brutal pain, but I crave a little bit and it’s driving me a bit nuts without any!

… looking for serious genuine answers please

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

You like pain. He likes you.
He likes giving pain. You like him.

This HAS to be fixable.

Show him this study from the University of Michigan, and be all "science" and what have you.

When he's most... receptive... ask him to smack your ass playfully - as gently as he wants. Then dryhump his ego and concerns a little with lots of reassuring fuckyeahthatfeelssogood moans.

He's got a love-eyed pure-vessel thing going on with you now, so you need to assure him afterward that HIS smacks make you feel special and his and pure-vesselish.

Either that or piss him the fuck off so much that he can't resist laying into your bratty ass once he has a nice, round, soft, uplifted target.

Please report back with lots of salacious details.

 

[bdsmchick94]

Thanks for that, the article was good.

Eek I like you other suggestion too! Although I did try that a bit and it didn't work, he just threatens but doesn't follow it up.

 

[Endless_Night]

You like pain. He likes you.
He likes giving pain. You like him.

This HAS to be fixable.

Show him this study from the University of Michigan, and be all "science" and what have you.

When he's most... receptive... ask him to smack your ass playfully - as gently as he wants. Then dryhump his ego and concerns a little with lots of reassuring fuckyeahthatfeelssogood moans.

He's got a love-eyed pure-vessel thing going on with you now, so you need to assure him afterward that HIS smacks make you feel special and his and pure-vesselish.

Either that or piss him the fuck off so much that he can't resist laying into your bratty ass once he has a nice, round, soft, uplifted target.

Please report back with lots of salacious details.

Nicely, and most amusingly, put.

 

[MeekMe]

Like DGE suggested, positive reinforcement helps.

My husband was apprehensive towards striking me in any way. At first he couldn't fathom trying to hurt someone he loves so much. I asked him to give it a try, he did, and my natural reaction was enough encouragement. He seems to enjoy it quite a bit, and I just keep encouraging to reinforce that it's really ok and I really like it.

If he doesn't want to try just a little, try spanking yourself a bit. Perhaps the visual of you enjoying yourself in such a way will help?

 

[bdsmchick94]

Thanks for your advice, I'll report back soon!

 

[bdsmchick94]

Well I was pretty bratty and he ended up using a ruler and a paddle on me, then used two wands and a plug and a big glass dildo on me until I came at least 25 times. It was much needed play!
I guess it was a good start getting things the way they used to be.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well I was pretty bratty and he ended up using a ruler and a paddle on me, then used two wands and a plug and a big glass dildo on me until I came at least 25 times. It was much needed play!
I guess it was a good start getting things the way they used to be.

Did he get his reward too? We like to hear about the top being as happy as the bottom is!

 

[bdsmchick94]

Of course! I sucked him off first, and he used my ass for his pleasure after

 

[Felix_Jones]

I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 months and we’re really in love. When we first started meeting up the play was really good, but recently he’s stopped using the belt and cane and paddle. He says he struggles to do anything with pain any more because there are all the feelings which weren’t there at the start.

Any advice on what we can do? I don’t like brutal pain, but I crave a little bit and it’s driving me a bit nuts without any!

… looking for serious genuine answers please

This sounds like a problem that can be easily solved with divorce. Hire a mediator so that you can split up your assets amicably.

 

[Impact12345]

Even though the set up is one person in charge, both must have their needs satisfied for it to work and for that to happen then open and full discussions should be had.