How do you cope with cravings in a vanilla relationship

[gregy70]

My fiancé knows my kinks & she sometimes helps me out but rarely.
How do I cope with my cravings. I need to be flogged regularly but by a stern yet loving woman & I need to be made to eat my own cum.
How do others cope with unfulfilled cravings?

 

[pensivepoet]

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[subwannabe]

pensivepoet is right. Not only aren't these feelings going to go away but I can pretty much guarantee that she will be helping you out less and less and your cravings are going to be more and more, unsatisfied. If your sex life is not fulfilling to you now it is only going to get worse and worse. Either you are going to have a very long marriage (not in the good sense) or a very short one. In other words, you need to get out now while you are only in fiance status. People just never seem to realize that there are more fish in the ocean. You haven't found your soul mate and you need to keep on looking before you make a huge mistake that you will wind up regretting. Divorce, possible alimony, and child support are never easy and that is what is in your future.

 

[Trudy57]

The previous two posters are completely, 100% right.

Don't go any further. You won't change. You can't change her.
You can have a frank discussion with her, and see if she will consider "going there", but chances are if she hasn't by this stage in your relationship, she won't.

I just don't understand why people think they have to marry someone who makes them supress a huge part of themselves.

 

[pensivepoet]

.........

 

[Stella_Omega]

If your cravings are that specific, find a reputable prodomme to handle them for you, inclusive of stern yet loving demeanor.

Make sure any prospective partner knows this is part of the deal.

 

[pensivepoet]

.........

 

[Toronto_SWM_44]

My fiancé knows my kinks & she sometimes helps me out but rarely.
How do I cope with my cravings. I need to be flogged regularly but by a stern yet loving woman & I need to be made to eat my own cum.
How do others cope with unfulfilled cravings?

Where did you get your avatar picture?

 

[Stella_Omega]

With all due respect, i've done prodomme. It's ok, but really, just business. No real connection beyond whip to ass.
He said he NEEDS a LOVING but stern....
He'll find the latter, but can't even consider the former.
Imho

I've never known a prodomme who didn't end up feeling a connection with at least some of her regular clients.

 

[subwannabe]

Prodomme ain't gonna happen. I guarantee wifey is not going to let him go there. I can't even fathom a happily married couple where the wife is vanilla, the husband kinky, and she lets him go to a prodomme without it causing friction in the relationship.

 

[pensivepoet]

.........

 

[MeekMe]

My fiancé knows my kinks & she sometimes helps me out but rarely.
How do I cope with my cravings. I need to be flogged regularly but by a stern yet loving woman & I need to be made to eat my own cum.
How do others cope with unfulfilled cravings?

I like to tread on the more optimistic side. So I'll deviate from what others are saying.

If she already knows your kinks does she know how important it is for you? You say she helps, but rarely. Have you explained how much if a need it is? I only ask because she may think it's a once in awhile indulgence.

As for satisfying your need outside of what she does for you, I used to enjoy my kinks alone for some intense masturbation.

If she can't be bothered with this task with you than perhaps you should rethink the engagement. You should let her know how much this means to you.

How often is regularly? Just wondering because it sounds exhausting to me. It could also be that I just ate and feel very sluggish now, though.

 

[All_4_Love]

This subject hits a nerve with me, something very deep down. I spent years in emotional turmoil, literally beside myself. I was open, honest, and upfront, at times tearful and practically begging. I was told he understood. I was told he was the same way, my exact opposite, the other half of me.

It never happened. When I would muster the courage to once again bring it up, I was then told that the reason it never happened is because it was my fault. That I couldn't handle it. I wasn't competent enough. My mind was too weak. I can assure you, I am not an incompetent or weak woman.

The pain of that kind of rejection is unspeakable. For goodness' sake, don't marry someone that you're not sexually compatible with. It does not go away. The need and desire will only become stronger with time.

 

[dreamykitten2]

I know people will judge me but..........

My fiancé knows my kinks & she sometimes helps me out but rarely.
How do I cope with my cravings. I need to be flogged regularly but by a stern yet loving woman & I need to be made to eat my own cum.
How do others cope with unfulfilled cravings?

I've been married 26 years and did not want to change that. However I needed something I thought he would not be open to. And was afraid to bring it up for fear it could end my marriage.so I found play partners to help me with my cravings. They know I'm married and are ok with it. I realize this is not really the best choice and some won't understand it. But I'm extremely careful and it's been working for 3 years.

My advice to you is to hash out your differences and decide could you live without having these kinks in your life or should you break it off with your fiancé and look for someone who agrees with your kinky wants, believe me you will be much happier with the later. Look into the future and see if you can deal without! Good luck and don't be like me. It could unravel at any moment.
I hope you will live a happy kinky life !

 

[pensivepoet]

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[StrayKat]

Prodomme ain't gonna happen. I guarantee wifey is not going to let him go there. I can't even fathom a happily married couple where the wife is vanilla, the husband kinky, and she lets him go to a prodomme without it causing friction in the relationship.

And why not? If my husband had such cravings and I was not interested I would rather he gets what he wants with somebody who is experienced professional so knows what she is doing and what she wants out of it, than get involved with somebody else who could hurt him or try to mess our life.
It is clean and fair, imo.

 

[twister947]

I find vanilla boring, so much so that I lost all interest in sex with my wife, who was sexually one diminsional. I was unhappy, she was unhappy...you just don't want to go there.