Dan Savage column on cuckolding

[PennLady]

Again, as this has come up a lot and LW is such a hotbed (haha) category, I thought some might like this: http://www.avclub.com/article/february-19-2014-201238

The first letter is from a guy who wants to explore the cuckolding fantasy with his wife. I think it lays out some of the differences in perception that people have. He makes it clear that he wants no part of the humiliation, for him it is about hot sex. The term there, instead of cuckold, is "hotwifer." Anyway, it was interesting to read, I thought.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So Penn, what's your interest in cuckolding? Have someone in mind? Hmmmm?

 

[PennLady]

So Penn, what's your interest in cuckolding? Have someone in mind? Hmmmm?

LOL Not hardly. It's just that the topic seems to have popped up a lot lately and I thought this was an interesting letter so I'd pass it on.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

LOL Not hardly. It's just that the topic seems to have popped up a lot lately and I thought this was an interesting later so I'd pass it on.

Okay, if you say so.

 

[lovecraft68]

Is it me or has this really started to come out a loot lately beyond the world of erotica?

But watch out Dan Savage, pretty soon you'll get a nasty gram from someone saying that you're not using the word correctly as defined in Websters!

 

[PennLady]

Is it me or has this really started to come out a loot lately beyond the world of erotica?

But watch out Dan Savage, pretty soon you'll get a nasty gram from someone saying that you're not using the word correctly as defined in Websters!

LOL I seriously don't think Webster's is where Savage gets a lot of his definitions.

 

[lovecraft68]

LOL I seriously don't think Webster's is where Savage gets a lot of his definitions.

Well then obviously he doesn't really exist and is just a figment of everyone's imagination.

It has been determined here that the dictionary does dictate real life.

But back to what I originally said this topic is getting a lot of play all of sudden.

 

[Hypoxia]

It has been determined here that the dictionary does dictate real life.

Not quite, but lexicographers *DO* manage to track language usage.

Tell ya what, let's try an experiment. From now on, when you mean 'anal', say or write 'oral'. Start a whole cult / subculture that says 'oral' when they're referring to 'anal'. "Then I pulled his butt cheeks apart, stuck my lubed dick inside, and gave him the oral orgasm of a lifetime." Let's see how long it takes for that meaning to seep into popular usage, shall we?

Compare that with a cult / subculture using a term long recognized as referring to an unwittingly-cheated hubby, to mean someone who willingly shares their wife. These two fuckaround-wife scenarios are about as different as anal and oral. What is revealed? IMHO, just that the cultists / fetishists don't give a rat's ass about language. Sloppy, sloppy...

I forget which ALICE IN WONDERLAND character declared that words meant whatever they wanted them to mean. (Somebody, help me here!) I see cuckold fetishists in the same category.

 

[lovecraft68]

Not quite, but lexicographers *DO* manage to track language usage.

Tell ya what, let's try an experiment. From now on, when you mean 'anal', say or write 'oral'. Start a whole cult / subculture that says 'oral' when they're referring to 'anal'. "Then I pulled his butt cheeks apart, stuck my lubed dick inside, and gave him the oral orgasm of a lifetime." Let's see how long it takes for that meaning to seep into popular usage, shall we?

Compare that with a cult / subculture using a term long recognized as referring to an unwittingly-cheated hubby, to mean someone who willingly shares their wife. These two fuckaround-wife scenarios are about as different as anal and oral. What is revealed? IMHO, just that the cultists / fetishists don't give a rat's ass about language. Sloppy, sloppy...

I forget which ALICE IN WONDERLAND character declared that words meant whatever they wanted them to mean. (Somebody, help me here!) I see cuckold fetishists in the same category.

That is how it works. In the other thread I used "ain't" as an example. People kept using it and it is now in the dictionary.

Beyond words I consider it lemming theory.

If someone famous wore a red shoe and a yellow shoe how long would it take before they were being sold in pairs like that and everyone who is anyone is wearing them?

Its that easy.

Its actually a form of the mentality that allowed Hitler to rule a country and commit abominations and atrocities. He got in one little step at a time

As crude as it sounds a large percentage of people are cattle just looking to be led.

I will now step aside from my Satanic Bible and withdraw for further discussion of lemmings.

 

[ProxyAccount]

That is how it works. In the other thread I used "ain't" as an example. People kept using it and it is now in the dictionary.

How many people used "ain't" before it was added to the major dictionaries? It was in use (in one form or another) back in the 17th century, but its common usage is still regarded more of a demonstration of bad habits and poor education.

Beyond words I consider it lemming theory.

If someone famous wore a red shoe and a yellow shoe how long would it take before they were being sold in pairs like that and everyone who is anyone is wearing them?

Its that easy.

1. Person A is famous.
2. Person A does X.
Now, if Person B holds Person A in high regards, he or she may emulate Person A by doing X. Those holding Person B in high regard may emulate Person B by doing X. However, if Person B not holding Person A in much regard may ridicule Person A for doing X as an obvious faux pas. Those holding the opinions of Person B in high regard may emulate Person B by adopting a similar opinion.

This is no different from individuals following the opinions of a talking head because they 'respect' them. Or individuals adopting the view of an expert because they 'respect' their credentials. People weigh the pressure of others opinions on the basis of proximity, credence, and other non-empirical factors. This is to be expected because humans are social animals driven to associate with one another and find acceptance within groups.

Its actually a form of the mentality that allowed Hitler to rule a country and commit abominations and atrocities. He got in one little step at a time

Actually, the rise of fascism probably has more to do with the people of Germany being in economic despair (exacerbated by onerous reparations) and disenchanted with the existing political leadership. Hitler told the people of Germany what they wanted to hear--that it wasn't their fault, but the fault of a small group of greedy, malicious people stealing the wealth of Germany and sabotaging it from within. By scapegoating and other populist tactics, Hitler created a fervor amongst Germans looking for change.

As crude as it sounds a large percentage of people are cattle just looking to be led.

That is true to a certain extent, but if it were not for scapegoating and populism, he would have been just a minor political figure in the Weimar Republic, leading an insignificant political party.

I will now step aside from my Satanic Bible and withdraw for further discussion of lemmings.

 

[ProxyAccount]

Again, as this has come up a lot and LW is such a hotbed (haha) category, I thought some might like this: http://www.avclub.com/article/february-19-2014-201238

The first letter is from a guy who wants to explore the cuckolding fantasy with his wife. I think it lays out some of the differences in perception that people have. He makes it clear that he wants no part of the humiliation, for him it is about hot sex. The term there, instead of cuckold, is "hotwifer." Anyway, it was interesting to read, I thought.

I find it rather disturbing. In the CUCK's letter, the wife is almost akin to a car, lawn, or set of golf clubs that he desires others to handle and envy him for. It reminds me of the guys that buy cars (or firearms) and boast about them, inviting friends and acquaintances to 'give it a try' or borrow it. His valuation of the item is closely tied to degree that others appreciate and ask to borrow it. When nobody expresses interest in it or asks to borrow it, his enjoyment of it diminishes and he quickly loses interest in it.

 

[lovecraft68]

I find it rather disturbing. In the CUCK's letter, the wife is almost akin to a car, lawn, or set of golf clubs that he desires others to handle and envy him for. It reminds me of the guys that buy cars (or firearms) and boast about them, inviting friends and acquaintances to 'give it a try' or borrow it. His valuation of the item is closely tied to degree that others appreciate and ask to borrow it. When nobody expresses interest in it or asks to borrow it, his enjoyment of it diminishes and he quickly loses interest in it.

Back quite awhile ago I read a book about sexuality. I read it in the early nineties, but it had been reprinted many times and I can't remember how old it really was.

It addressed a lot of stigmas and ideas and there was a section on sexual disorders.

One was called "Trollism" which was the husband's desire to share his wife. Now back then what was recommended is therapy (on the assumption the wives did not want to)

Now these days it seems the answer would be, "Well if you want to, why not" and if the wife does not want to it seems she is the one badgered into trying it even by some "authorities"

Look no further than the "How to" forum. Countless threads of husbands "My wife does not want a threesome, how can I talk her into it"

The answer is you should not/do not. And some people will post that, but far too many are egging the guy on like its the wife that has an issues.
Funny how things change in not really that long of a period of time.

But we live in age of instant gratification, entitlement and really not much in the way standards. I know that is a generalization plenty of people have standards, juts not as many as before.

 

[ProxyAccount]

http://www.justanswer.com/relationship/856tg-boyfriend-just-recently-revealed-curious.html

A recent chat between a young woman and an online therapist concerning her boyfriend who apparently has a triolism-voyeurism paraphilia. The young woman isn't interested in the experience, but the boyfriend seems to be pushing it. I also suspect that he might be a closet bisexual due to his preoccupation with images of other men's larger penises.

 

[laptopwriter]

The subject of cuckolding makes no sense to me, so

I read the article you posted. It still makes no sense to me. The writer states he's doing it, not for humiliation, but because the sex is hot. Yet he has agreed to let his wife have sex with another man and not even be there. She then comes back and shares some of the details with him...is this really what some men consider, "hot sex?"

 

[Stella_Omega]

I read the article you posted. It still makes no sense to me. The writer states he's doing it, not for humiliation, but because the sex is hot. Yet he has agreed to let his wife have sex with another man and not even be there. She then comes back and shares some of the details with him...is this really what some men consider, "hot sex?"

Some men do consider this hot sex, yes indeedy.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I read the article you posted. It still makes no sense to me. The writer states he's doing it, not for humiliation, but because the sex is hot. Yet he has agreed to let his wife have sex with another man and not even be there. She then comes back and shares some of the details with him...is this really what some men consider, "hot sex?"

If they are getting no sex...then probably. Although he did say their sex life was okay...whatever that means.

 

[Acktion]

Oops

Just had a piece on writing taboo believably approved to the How-To section. As the example, I used a woman wanting to stray from the marriage bed. Oh, I hope no one is mean to me because I used that.

 

[StrangeLife]

This tread would not be complete without a recommendation of Dan Savages LoveCast.

He is very entertaining to listen to and has a refreshing no-bullshit approach to anything sex-related. And some of the people calling the show can shock even a hardened Literotica author...

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1225190/thumbs/r-DAN-SAVAGE-large570.jpg

 

[lovecraft68]

This tread would not be complete without a recommendation of Dan Savages LoveCast.

He is very entertaining to listen to and has a refreshing no-bullshit approach to anything sex-related. And some of the people calling the show can shock even a hardened Literotica author...

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1225190/thumbs/r-DAN-SAVAGE-large570.jpg

If we are doing a good job with our stories there should be plenty of hardened literoticans

 

[patientlee]

If we are doing a good job with our stories there should be plenty of hardened literoticans

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI&sns=em

 

[lovecraft68]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI&sns=em

Thank you!

I'll be here all week!

But someone else won't be, here's to a quiet week!