Dan Savage weighs in on Come vs. Cum

[PennLady]

So I found this at The AV Club. Since it comes up from time to time, I thought an outside perspective might be interesting.

How do I make cum taste better?

“Cum” is not a word. We don’t have three-letter alternate spellings for other four-letter words that have sexual and nonsexual meanings. You wouldn’t write “I know this guy who sucks and he’s a mean dick, but he’s so fucking hot, I want to suk his dik.” So there’s no need to misspell “come” to give it a sexual connotation. The proper spelling works just fine. But in answer to your question: Come is an acquired taste. No one likes Guinness the first time they drink it, right? But soon you’re happily knocking back pints of the stuff. Same goes for come.

Full article here: http://www.avclub.com/articles/october-9-2013,103941/

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So I found this at The AV Club. Since it comes up from time to time, I thought an outside perspective might be interesting.



Full article here: http://www.avclub.com/articles/october-9-2013,103941/

You wouldn’t write “I know this guy who sucks and he’s a mean dick, but he’s so fucking hot, I want to suk his dik.”

You would if you were tweeting about it.

 

[sr71plt]

It's not formally a word yet, no, but it clarifies and differentiates and is in use, so it's inevitably going to be a word (and I'll use it in the meantime--to differentiate and clarify).

Savage's analogies don't hold, though. "Cum" is used to try to differentiate it from the common word "come" to help clarify. There's no differentiation in what is meant in either suck/suk or dick/dik. They are just short forms of the same meaning. So Savage's reasoning on those is just irrelevant.

 

[ChiShyGuy]

I've always preferred 'cum' and 'cumming' and I really feel like the usage is common enough to make it an accepted spelling. I feel like 'come' can lead to confusion for the reader, whereas 'cum' either as a noun or a verb is clear on the first pass for the reader.

 

[StrangeLife]

I like Dan Savage but he'd better not be messing with my cum.

Ok, that came out wrong... but the good Mr. Savage is no stranger to creating new words and in my opinion the noun "cum" is well established in erotic writing and here to stay.

I don't like it as a verb though - it always makes me think of diesel engines and that's a bit of a mood killer.

 

[mynameisben]

I've always preferred 'cum' and 'cumming' and I really feel like the usage is common enough to make it an accepted spelling. I feel like 'come' can lead to confusion for the reader, whereas 'cum' either as a noun or a verb is clear on the first pass for the reader.

I agree. 'Cum' is common enough and removes embarrassing ambiguities.

You get an invite to your neighbor's granddaughter's birthday party and you write back, "I'd be delighted to cum!" makes it clear your intentions for attendance are somewhat less than wholesome.

 

[sr71plt]

Or that you expect it to be an exciting party.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I hate cum. It just sounds so cheap and dirty. It's a word that I hate to read.

 

[A_Little_Show]

I was criticized at Literotica for using "come" and "coming". I was told several times that "cum" is the only valid spelling for the noun and verb involving orgasm.

 

[Handley_Page]

A few decades ago (or was that a century?) the word used for the ejaculation of semen was "spend".

 

[mynameisben]

A few decades ago (or was that a century?) the word used for the ejaculation of semen was "spend".

A spendthrift was someone who ejaculated recklessly or extravagantly.

 

[PennLady]

I was criticized at Literotica for using "come" and "coming". I was told several times that "cum" is the only valid spelling for the noun and verb involving orgasm.

They'd be wrong, at least to a degree. I've looked at some erotica publishers, and in their submission guidelines, they require "come" for the verb and "cum" for the noun. That's how I write it. To me, words like "cumming" look like misspellings done by a child. I mean, if the author does it and is consistent and all, I don't care, but it doesn't look right to me.

 

[mynameisben]

coming or cumming
makes very little difference
when writing haiku

— e.e. comings

 

[R. Richard]

They'd be wrong, at least to a degree. I've looked at some erotica publishers, and in their submission guidelines, they require "come" for the verb and "cum" for the noun. That's how I write it. To me, words like "cumming" look like misspellings done by a child. I mean, if the author does it and is consistent and all, I don't care, but it doesn't look right to me.

I ran into the same requirement, some time back. I used cum as a verb and was told, "Not here."

 

[SquirtnBrat]

They'd be wrong, at least to a degree. I've looked at some erotica publishers, and in their submission guidelines, they require "come" for the verb and "cum" for the noun. That's how I write it. To me, words like "cumming" look like misspellings done by a child. I mean, if the author does it and is consistent and all, I don't care, but it doesn't look right to me.

As a reader, I agree.
DannyBoy should of just recommended avoiding dairy and stocking up on pineapple juice.

 

[iansearchof]

It's a matter of personal preference. However, "cum" is long established in the literature. Regardless, I prefer "come." NB the past tense of "cum" is "came" so what's it matter? It originally came from the old "glad come" (according to one author at least; still many such things, e.g., the origin of "fuck" often are apocryphal) which really is quite expressive.

So long as we allow for individual choice.....

 

[Balddudesrock]

Japanese

Japanese people don't cum, or come. They "GO". Just an interesting, irrelevant factoid. It could be tricky if a Japanese person and an American person get together!!!

 

[StrangeLife]

There is a long tradition for using the spelling "cum" in institutes of higher learning as well. Like in several graduation honors...

Cum Laude: Noisy when having sex.

Magna Cum Laude: Very noisy when having sex.

Maxima Cum Laude: Kept the entire dormitory awake when having sex.


Sorry Dan but ya can't break tradition. "Cum" is here to stay.

 

[sr71plt]

Japanese people don't cum, or come. They "GO". Just an interesting, irrelevant factoid. It could be tricky if a Japanese person and an American person get together!!!

Sort of like "getting off," isn't it?

 

[Tx Tall Tales]

I ran into the same requirement, some time back. I used cum as a verb and was told, "Not here."

Ditto, and that's how I use it now.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't like it as a verb though - it always makes me think of diesel engines and that's a bit of a mood killer.

I think Diesel engines are sexy. Love that big rumble!

I resisted the noun for a time, but I use it now-- because the world understands exactly what it means. The verb is iffy to me still.

 

[Handley_Page]

I think Diesel engines are sexy. Love that big rumble!

I resisted the noun for a time, but I use it now-- because the world understands exactly what it means. The verb is iffy to me still.

I love the sound of a large marine diesel on a narrow-boat.

 

[slyc_willie]

I've recently used "come" in a story to refer to someone achieving climax. It really, really did not look right. I can understand the bias against come/cum or the accepted vernacular when using those terms, but it still looks too . . . I don't know, clinical? Would that be the word?

I come home from work. I come to a conclusion. I come up the stairs. But I don't "come" when I'm having sex. I'm already there.

On the other hand, if cum was to be accepted as its own word, how would it be conjugated? Would I say "Oh, baby, I came so hard" or would there have to be an alternate spelling? "Oh, baby, I cam so hard." Or maybe caem. Cummed? Now, that just sounds ignorant.

Damn the English language . . . .

 

[slyc_willie]

To flip the coin . . . .

Some clinical terms appeal to me when describing certain scenes. An example is the word "ejaculate." For me, personally, there are times when that particular term conveys a very powerful meaning when used in erotica.

"I pushed deep, and ejaculated directly into her throat."

As opposed to:

"I pushed deep, and came directly into her throat."

The first example indicates a more forceful, powerful climax. The second just seems like it wouldn't matter. But maybe that's just me.

 

[Bramblethorn]

The first example indicates a more forceful, powerful climax. The second just seems like it wouldn't matter. But maybe that's just me.

Not just you. That "jac" is a very abrupt, forceful sound. "Came" is softer - although there are times when that's useful.