Coping Mechanisms

[Ulaven_Demorte]

For others it is different. No, I do not consider lack of cell phone coverage cruel. I do think that the starting conditions of life are, as Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman said in their way in "Good Omens"

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”

One of my favorite quotes, which is why it's in my signature.

 

[Recidiva]

One of my favorite quotes, which is why it's in my signature.

It is much more evocative and true than anything I could manage.

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

Another good one:

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There is a huge price to pay. If you have to choke down what you love and what you're living for because the loss of it is too painful, then you also have nothing to live for because you've choked it off.

I genuinely think it is a wrongheaded thing to do. Reasonable that people do it because history is full of horrible people saying you must do it and men believing that they should.

But history is also full of women saying "Why?" and "No, I don't think so" and that more than anything is why women don't go to war because they don't have that logic built in.

It's what creates people with no feelings who are then free to commit atrocities without remorse.

Keep the remorse, just don't do the atrocities. Life would be a bit better if the community could judge whether or not a leader was being an unreasonable fuckwaffle and not have to follow said fuckwaffle because if I act like I care, they're all going to turn on me and eat my lungs off my rapidly cooling corpse metaphorically or literally.

Lust is what youre talking about. Unrequited lust is a killer.

 

[Recidiva]

Another good one:

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

Love these guys.

"Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow."

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

This passage always cracks me up.
A drunken Demon (Crowley) explaining to a drunken Angel (Aziraphale) what eternity in heaven would be like:

“I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's this little bird-"

"What little bird?" said Aziraphale suspiciously.

"This little bird I'm talking about. And every thousand years-"

"The same bird every thousand years?"

Crowley hesitated. "Yeah," he said.

"Bloody ancient bird, then."

"Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies-"

"-limps-"

"-flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak-"

"Hold on. You can't do that. Between here and the end of the universe there's loads of-" The angel waved a hand expansively, if a little unsteadily. "Loads of buggerall, dear boy."

"But it gets there anyway," Crowley persevered.

"How?"

"It doesn't matter!"

"It could use a space ship," said the angel.

Crowley subsided a bit. "Yeah," he said. "If you like. Anyway, this bird-"

"Only it is the end of the universe we're talking about," said Aziraphale. "So it'd have to be one of those space ships where your descendants are the ones who get out at the other end. You have to tell your descendants, you say, When you get to the Mountain, you've got to-" He hesitated. "What have
they got to do?"

"Sharpen its beak on the mountain," said Crowley. "And then it flies back-"

"-in the space ship-"

"And after a thousand years it goes and does it all again," said Crowley quickly.

There was a moment of drunken silence.

"Seems a lot of effort just to sharpen a beak," mused Aziraphale.

"Listen," said Crowley urgently, "the point is that when the bird has worn the mountain down to nothing, right, then-"

Aziraphale opened his mouth. Crowley just knew he was going to make some point about the relative hardness of birds' beaks and granite mountains, and plunged on quickly.

"-then you still won't have finished watching The Sound of Music."

Aziraphale froze.

"And you'll enjoy it," Crowley said relentlessly. "You really will."

"My dear boy-"

"You won't have a choice."

"Listen-"

"Heaven has no taste."

"Now-"

"And not one single sushi restaurant."

A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”

 

[Recidiva]

Lust is what youre talking about. Unrequited lust is a killer.

"Oh my god, she's so hot
She's so fucking hot, she's like a curry
I gotta tell her how hot she is
But if I tell her how hot she is she'll think I'm being sexist
She's so hot, she's making me sexist...bitch."

- Flight of the Conchords

 

[Recidiva]

This passage always cracks me up.
A drunken Demon (Crowley) explaining to a drunken Angel (Aziraphale) what eternity in heaven would be like:

“I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's this little bird-"

"What little bird?" said Aziraphale suspiciously.

"This little bird I'm talking about. And every thousand years-"

"The same bird every thousand years?"

Crowley hesitated. "Yeah," he said.

"Bloody ancient bird, then."

"Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies-"

"-limps-"

"-flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak-"

"Hold on. You can't do that. Between here and the end of the universe there's loads of-" The angel waved a hand expansively, if a little unsteadily. "Loads of buggerall, dear boy."

"But it gets there anyway," Crowley persevered.

"How?"

"It doesn't matter!"

"It could use a space ship," said the angel.

Crowley subsided a bit. "Yeah," he said. "If you like. Anyway, this bird-"

"Only it is the end of the universe we're talking about," said Aziraphale. "So it'd have to be one of those space ships where your descendants are the ones who get out at the other end. You have to tell your descendants, you say, When you get to the Mountain, you've got to-" He hesitated. "What have
they got to do?"

"Sharpen its beak on the mountain," said Crowley. "And then it flies back-"

"-in the space ship-"

"And after a thousand years it goes and does it all again," said Crowley quickly.

There was a moment of drunken silence.

"Seems a lot of effort just to sharpen a beak," mused Aziraphale.

"Listen," said Crowley urgently, "the point is that when the bird has worn the mountain down to nothing, right, then-"

Aziraphale opened his mouth. Crowley just knew he was going to make some point about the relative hardness of birds' beaks and granite mountains, and plunged on quickly.

"-then you still won't have finished watching The Sound of Music."

Aziraphale froze.

"And you'll enjoy it," Crowley said relentlessly. "You really will."

"My dear boy-"

"You won't have a choice."

"Listen-"

"Heaven has no taste."

"Now-"

"And not one single sushi restaurant."

A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”

I know what they're gonna say and they still make me laugh.

This is why I plan on breaking out of Hell or Heaven because that's a looooong time.

I'm counting on it not existing and me going back to the Earth from whence I came, but a long time with my imagination and their short-sightedness and I can make some trouble.

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

On caring for houseplants:

“He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it was an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.
What he did was put the fear of God into them.
More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. "Say goodbye to your friend," he'd say to them. "He just couldn't cut it. . . "
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.”

 

[Recidiva]

On caring for houseplants:

“He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it was an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.
What he did was put the fear of God into them.
More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. "Say goodbye to your friend," he'd say to them. "He just couldn't cut it. . . "
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.”

Yes, re-reading "Good Omens" is one of the best Coping Mechanisms EVER.

Sharing the planet with smart, funny people is a privilege.

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

Yes, re-reading "Good Omens" is one of the best Coping Mechanisms EVER.

Sharing the planet with smart, funny people is a privilege.

It's about time I re-read it (or listen to the audiobook on the train). It's been over a year since the last time.

 

[Recidiva]

It's about time I re-read it (or listen to the audiobook on the train). It's been over a year since the last time.

I relisten to that, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter probably once a year.

It's always downloaded on my phone so I can have it in case I'm stranded somewhere I can't stream.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

My coping mechanism:

Humor, to be sure, but more seriously I rather frequently practice "risk management" on both a conscious and subconscious level.

Avoid dangerous environments and situations (unless personal calculations have nonetheless indicated that paying the "ultimate price" still presents itself as a clear bargain. And, yes, those experiences are certainly out there and worth pursing, but there is a big difference between sky diving and BASE jumping; snorkeling and cave diving.)

Save more than I spend (I've finally reached the point where I can do that. Probably relieved 60% of corrosive stress.)

Leave early; drive slow (Conquer the temptation to try and squeeze every ounce of "efficiency" out of your life by running at full-speed on the thinnest possible margin between success and failure, love and hate, and life and death)

Loosen your grip (While it is natural to wish to control all you can, it is important to recognize the limitations imposed by reality. The wisest and most skilled physicians in the world eventually get sick and die. You may wish to reconsider how clever and powerful you are.)

 

[BotanyBoy]

Lying and playing dumb.....it's RobDownSouth's coping mechanism for getting caught trying to talk shit while bent over with his panties around his ankles lol

Speaks volumes on his character though....sad =\

 

[Recidiva]

My coping mechanism:

Humor, to be sure, but more seriously I rather frequently practice "risk management" on both a conscious and subconscious level.

Avoid dangerous environments and situations (unless personal calculations have nonetheless indicated that paying the "ultimate price" still presents itself as a clear bargain. And, yes, those experiences are certainly out there and worth pursing, but there is a big difference between sky diving and BASE jumping; snorkeling and cave diving.)

Save more than I spend (I've finally reached the point where I can do that. Probably relieved 60% of corrosive stress.)

Leave early; drive slow (Conquer the temptation to try and squeeze every ounce of "efficiency" out of your life by running at full-speed on the thinnest possible margin between success and failure, love and hate, and life and death)

Loosen your grip (While it is natural to wish to control all you can, it is important to recognize the limitations imposed by reality. The wisest and most skilled physicians in the world eventually get sick and die. You may wish to reconsider how clever and powerful you are.)

I can relate. In my youth I was a thrill seeking adrenaline junkie with a death wish. I did unbelievably risky and whimsical useless things.

"Let's walk down 42nd street in NYC at 2 a.m. and see if I die!"

(I didn't, someone tried to lunge at me out of an alley and I just walked into traffic and he retreated, not as death-wishy as I was.)

After getting over the meaning of life and having kids, I decided I owed it to them to be a lot more boring and dependable. Good choice.

I didn't get it right at first, and my daughter and I spent way too many late nights watching movies and eating junk food, but that only happens when she visits now and we usually have tea and I conk out by 11 p.m. because my regular bedtime is 9.

 

[Recidiva]

Lying and playing dumb.....it's RobDownSouth's coping mechanism for getting caught trying to talk shit while bent over with his panties around his ankles lol

Speaks volumes on his character though....sad =\

I am a smart person, but I know the true value of looking completely incompetent to strangers.

I have gotten out of many a speeding ticket (see Hogan's #3, I did learn, but didn't for a while)

"Hello! What? My what? I'm so sorry! I can't hear you! *laugh* *roll down window* I'm sorry what was I doing? Really? I was! Oh no! What do you need from me? My what? Oh. Okay, I have that. I think! Let me check! Is this it! *bland, friendly smile* No ticket? You are the sweetest! I promise to be more careful! It's just such a beautiful night I got distracted. Thank you!"

It has never worked once on a lady cop. Damn.

 

[Batch]

I have 4 great kids and 10 excellent grandchildren,

I'm not religious, never go to church, and generally dislike clergy. But I discovered something 45 years ago. When things are awful its usually just you and God there on the scene. And if you believe that there's something like RIGHT and GOOD in the world, that's the God part, and you feel less alone.

I understand this.

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

Wtf

The world is a terrible, cruel, random place. Humans can try to mitigate that terror, cruelty and random sense of events, but they can't eliminate it. They can also be more terrible, cruel and targeted in their venom that it seems like the world is fine but it's us that's wrong.

Mine are humor and entertainment where I can shut off having to think about all the wrongs in the world and let my brain deal with fiction for a while and relax. I try to choose smart fiction to give me the relationship with smart writers or creators and feel that there's good company on the planet and things worth appreciating and preserving. Good food, good company, dropping what I can if it's too much of a burden.

I also mitigate some of my interest in making the world a better place by putting the idea of free will in place. That way I resist the impulse to reach into someone else's life and try to move them into the "correct" position according to what I believe to be true.

I used to want to save the world and now I believe that even if the world needed to be saved, which is doubt because it might be right where it needs to be to get to the next spot in its evolution, there's very little I can do about it and most attempts to "change" people are tiresomely evangelistic and naïve.

So everyone is Creation's own special snowflake but I don't know what Creation is and I don't know what the snowflake's about, but if it tries to kill me, I will kill it back, otherwise leave it alone unless I feel I can make a real difference or symbolic difference that will add up over time if enough people participate.

How do you cope?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i37uttMA6Mc

 

[julybaby04]

When my daughter was born she had a 1% chance of living at all, she had meconium aspiration which meant she inhaled her amniotic fluid after her first bowel evacuation and her lungs were literally full of shit and fluid.

I would sit by her side in the NICU and I would notice that other parents would only come in, stand over their preemie for a few minutes crying and then leave. Most had no visitors. My husband at the time couldn't stand to be in the room with her for more than a few minutes.

I couldn't even hold her hand because the medication she was on made it impossible for her to process touch without it being painful. She was in a medically induced coma. The nurse would tell me to take pictures and comb her hair because she wouldn't make it through the night.

The horrors that happen to babies are one of the most difficult things to face, and that's why for me I can't believe in any God with any benevolence, because there is no explanation for a crack baby that is born in the full throes of painful withdrawal and then dies. None. There is no grace from that, there is no blessing, there is no learning.

My daughter is now in graduate school, but she is a particularly kind person. Every time she sees someone insensate in a wheelchair she checks the scars on her arm that came from the surgical procedures and tries to give them an extra smile and hope they can process kindness.

Glad that your daughter did so well....

 

[Recidiva]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i37uttMA6Mc

Hah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNzIG-0XxVw

Joe Pantoliano awesomeness.

 

[Recidiva]

Glad that your daughter did so well....

Thank you! Yes, she is an absolute miracle.

 

[colddiesel]

There is a stack of evidence to suggest that Recidiva's primary "coping mechanism" is posting on this website - 47 posts in one day of sociological/psycho-babble on this thread alone!

You're keeping too much of your own company, get out and do things, work, play anything, and listen too anyone other than yourself.

Leave the keyboard alone for at least half an hour a day.

 

[Debbie]

Sometimes, just sometimes the world can seem like a cruel place.
I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses and I'm a realistic person. I'm not ignoring the bad nor am I an ostrich.
I know there is bad stuff happening in our world all the time but there is also good. If we only look for the bad then that's all I believe some will see.


Of course it would be impossible to measure the good versus evil and see where that comes out on a Good vs Evil-O-Meter™

There are cruel people who do heinous things and I'd love to wipe them from the face of the Earth with extreme prejudice. I don't plan their demise nor visualize it but I wish bad shit would happen to them.

IMO, the media for the most part blasts us with negativity and the good stuff gets a byline on page 3.

Sort of like drama gets thousands of views here and someone's thread about a job interview that went well or the funny thing they found online and wanted to share gets a few replies then drops off page 1 and gets buried as more drama happens.

I was raised by a very religious family and at the very first opportunity I ran away and never returned. I'm not religious at all but I have a very strong sense of wanting the world to be a better place for my loved ones and future generations.

I can do little things and would do bigger, better things if I could. In my world if most of us did little things to make the world a better place then you just never know it might make a tiny bit of difference.

So, how do I cope?

I have family, friends and animals who I love dearly.

I have a silly sense of humour and so does bigrednz. The Kiwi sense of humour is a bit warped and we tend to poke fun at bad stuff and try and laugh it off.

I love to read and watch scif fi and horror movies. (scare not the gore, gore, gore for me) Learning new things and how things work fascinates me. I find people fascinating too. Especially when you watch them when they unaware.

I love laughter and the look on someone's face of surprise or genuine happiness.

I'm the weirdo who smiles at strangers, who will let you go before me at the checkout, who will wave you into the traffic and has to resist the urge to bring any stray puppies, kittens etc home.

When my children were younger I adopted their friends who came from crappy homes and fed them when needed and did whatever I could to make them feel better.

Yes, I do it because it makes me feel better to good things but I don't expect anything in return.


'Scuse me my halo is slipping.

On a really bad day I go punch my pillow, cry in the shower, go quiet and then life goes on. I cope with bad shit at the time and have a mini melt down in privacy.

Stay calm and carry on as my English Grandmother was fond of saying.

 

[Recidiva]

There is a stack of evidence to suggest that Recidiva's primary "coping mechanism" is posting on this website - 47 posts in one day of sociological/psycho-babble on this thread alone!

You're keeping too much of your own company, get out and do things, work, play anything, and listen too anyone other than yourself.

Leave the keyboard alone for at least half an hour a day.

colddiesel, although you believe there is no cruelty in the world, but that your advice to everybody is "get over it" then I would say "get over it"

Nobody is making you come into my threads and then say I talk too much.

My cruelty to you is entirely consensual on your part and if any conclusion can be drawn, you are a masochist.

My coping mechanism in your case would be to point and laugh.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Sometimes, just sometimes the world can seem like a cruel place.
I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses and I'm a realistic person. I'm not ignoring the bad nor am I an ostrich.
I know there is bad stuff happening in our world all the time but there is also good. If we only look for the bad then that's all I believe some will see.


Of course it would be impossible to measure the good versus evil and see where that comes out on a Good vs Evil-O-Meter™

There are cruel people who do heinous things and I'd love to wipe them from the face of the Earth with extreme prejudice. I don't plan their demise nor visualize it but I wish bad shit would happen to them.

IMO, the media for the most part blasts us with negativity and the good stuff gets a byline on page 3.

Sort of like drama gets thousands of views here and someone's thread about a job interview that went well or the funny thing they found online and wanted to share gets a few replies then drops off page 1 and gets buried as more drama happens.

I was raised by a very religious family and at the very first opportunity I ran away and never returned. I'm not religious at all but I have a very strong sense of wanting the world to be a better place for my loved ones and future generations.

I can do little things and would do bigger, better things if I could. In my world if most of us did little things to make the world a better place then you just never know it might make a tiny bit of difference.

So, how do I cope?

I have family, friends and animals who I love dearly.

I have a silly sense of humour and so does bigrednz. The Kiwi sense of humour is a bit warped and we tend to poke fun at bad stuff and try and laugh it off.

I love to read and watch scif fi and horror movies. (scare not the gore, gore, gore for me) Learning new things and how things work fascinates me. I find people fascinating too. Especially when you watch them when they unaware.

I love laughter and the look on someone's face of surprise or genuine happiness.

I'm the weirdo who smiles at strangers, who will let you go before me at the checkout, who will wave you into the traffic and has to resist the urge to bring any stray puppies, kittens etc home.

When my children were younger I adopted their friends who came from crappy homes and fed them when needed and did whatever I could to make them feel better.

Yes, I do it because it makes me feel better to good things but I don't expect anything in return.


'Scuse me my halo is slipping.

On a really bad day I go punch my pillow, cry in the shower, go quiet and then life goes on. I cope with bad shit at the time and have a mini melt down in privacy.

Stay calm and carry on as my English Grandmother was fond of saying.

At some level most of us prefer peace and harmony and liberty enough to enjoy life.

Steinbeck wrote EAST OF EDEN, and in it he addresses the Ten Commandments. He asserts that theyre choices, that we have choices when it comes to good and evil deeds.