Wetness issues, help

[blackbisket]

My girl has a very tight pussy (witch you say why is that an issue). The issue i, having is I get her wet with foreplay but it seem to dry up before we get around to having sex, thus it dosent feel to good for a while. She hates the idea of lube and wont use it cause it makes her feel bad. She just says since its not natural in makes her feel weird.

So what can I do?

 

[respeito]

Hello, blackbisket.

Perhaps you can try to prolong your foreplay sessions. Also, there is an adult website, (eartherotics.com) that sells environmentally friendly products. Look through their boutique as a couple, they have all kinds of nice things there.

There are ways to make your own lubricants at home using natural oils.

tressugar.com ran an article and included this tip as a substitute: Take a vitamin E capsule, break it open, and remove the oil inside onto the tip of your fingers; gently insert this oil into the vagina. This is an excellent substitute for regular lubricants.

Here are some things you want to keep in mind when making your own lubricants, such as:

(courtesy of tressugar.com)
When you use glycerin based lubricants, you invite yeast infection. Avoid at all costs such lubricants because once you get a yeast infection, it would take ages to get rid of it.

Any cooking oils along with pathogens that can cause painful infection.

Lastly, here is an article from suite101 on homemade oils using natural products


Hope you find something helpful for you and the lady in your life.

be golden.

 

[SweetErika]

What do you think would happen if you told her that YOU would like to use lube because it enhances your pleasure even more? That's the truth, right? If nothing else, sex is a hell of a lot better when you don't have to worry about hurting your partner by having sex with not enough lube.

For your part, are you positive she's getting enough foreplay? Have you tried super-extended foreplay, like starting with a relaxing-turning-sensual massage, exploring every erogenous zone and then a ton of oral sex? If you start with pleasing her, then she pleases you, are you going back to her before you attempt intercourse? I'm not suggesting you're doing anything wrong, just that those might be things to try to circumvent adding lube, at least sometimes and/or for now.

Are you using condoms? If so, that could be another 'in' for you; they not only feel a lot better when you put a drop or two of lube in the tip before pinching and rolling it on, proper lubrication greatly increases the safety factor by reducing the risk of slippage and breakage. Your pleasure could be the impetus for grabbing the lube in the first place, then while you're at it, you might as well coat the outside of the condom thoroughly once it's on! We used condoms as our main form of BC for years, and even if I was soaking wet, there were always some spots in my vagina that my natural lube somehow missed (which meant adding lube just to be sure the condom didn't stick to those spots)!

You might also try to combat her ideas about lube with additional logic. If, for instance, she's on hormonal birth control, an antihistimine or any number of other medications that can mess with our natural lubrication, a lack of lube is just a side effect that can easily be solved with the addition of some really cool stuff like silicone lube. Or you could ask her if she views things like sex toys, birth control, medical intervention or even machinery as 'weird'; after all, those things are artificial, but their addition to sex and our lives in general can make for huge improvements, correct? Just because our bodies are made for walking doesn't mean we should never ride bikes or drive cars! Fingers and cocks don't vibrate, but vibrators and other sex toys are sill a hell of a lot of fun, right?

While the above is very blunt, I'm not suggesting you do this in a confrontational or condescending way at all, just that it may help to point out lube can be an enhancement, just like medicine, transportation, computers or sex toys. And if there is a physiological cause for her lack of natural lube (e.g. birth control, dehydration) and/or you're using condoms, there's no reason it shouldn't be incorporated into your play. You might ask her if she'd be OK with coming up with some ideas to do just that; it can definitely be sexy to lube up a cock and girly bits with some extra hand action rather than some kind of "procedure" or "necessary evil" of having sex!

You could also suggest she ask her doctor about causes and solutions for her lube drying up before intercourse. Her doctor will undoubtedly assure her it's normal and suggest adding lube, although they'll probably name an inferior lube like KY Jelly (which is not a sexual lubricant at all) or Astroglide. If you want suggestions on good lubes, asking here is your best bet.

Anyway, I think the key is to try to help your gf open up to the idea of lube being a tool to enhance pleasure (for both of you) because this is an issue she's going to have to deal with her entire life (particularly as menopause sets in). In general, women are very sensitive about their bodies and perceived inadequacies, so approach the subject gently and stress the fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her body and adding lube does not mean she's broken or inadequate in any way.

 

[SweetErika]

If you meant she won't use lube because it makes her feel bad physically, respeito had some great suggestions. I'm very sensitive to the ingredients in many lubes, which is why we've stuck with silicone lube and coconut oil for years. You do have to be very careful with oils for a variety of reasons, but certain oils can be very nice for men and women in the right situations.

 

[blackbisket]

Well thank both of you for all the great ideas, together we can look into them (together is the key as you both brought up).

I do go for a longer time with teasing and really try to get he dripping wet before I even go down on her and get her to cum, she just really love to give me a fast bj and start after that. Maybe that an issue and as both of you suggester more can be done in that srea.

She is on a form of BC that was the best fit for her body, I cant recall the name right now but it another thing to look into, so thanks. Thus we dont use condoms at all, to be honest it just dosent feel that great to me and she says she likes to feel the cum inside her

Ill admit im not super experienced with erogenous zones , but I feel that what I do is the best way to get get her wet. I do massage her and gently kiss and tease her body from her ear to her hips. I even mess with her inner thights and tease around that area before I start oral.

I like the idea of toys but to you fill there is more I can do or is it more her

 

[silvastormcloud]

Hi Black,

Just though i'd add my story to what Erika said.

I tried used the pill (Yas) as BC but it really dried me up which upset my BF too no end. He kept thinking it was him or he was doing something wrong and trust me I was feeling as horny as ever the tap just wouldn't turn off.

So please dont get disheartned.

 

[blackbisket]

Hi Black,

Just though i'd add my story to what Erika said.

I tried used the pill (Yas) as BC but it really dried me up which upset my BF too no end. He kept thinking it was him or he was doing something wrong and trust me I was feeling as horny as ever the tap just wouldn't turn off.

So please dont get disheartned.

Thanks for that silva, I just want everything to go smooth for both of us and turn it in to a really fun experience all the way around

 

[SweetErika]

She is on a form of BC that was the best fit for her body, I cant recall the name right now but it another thing to look into, so thanks. Thus we dont use condoms at all, to be honest it just dosent feel that great to me and she says she likes to feel the cum inside her

You're right, bareback feels better. However, if you're not ready to be parents, it's wise to use two reliable forms of birth control. Screaming newborns (and toddlers, and kids who come into your room after peeing or barfing all over their own beds) can really do a number on your sex life!

Ill admit im not super experienced with erogenous zones , but I feel that what I do is the best way to get get her wet. I do massage her and gently kiss and tease her body from her ear to her hips. I even mess with her inner thights and tease around that area before I start oral.

You probably know many of hers already, but it's always fun to try to find new ones and new ways to stimulate the spots you already know about!

I like the idea of toys but to you fill there is more I can do or is it more her

I think it's a fundamental problem for her to be against using lube. It's great that you're open to trying other things, but it all comes down to there being a lack of lube that may very well necessitate adding artificial lube. Have a loving, non-confrontational conversation with her about lube and being open to using it if you need to for your mutual pleasure. If that doesn't go anywhere, I'd say it's a red flag because if a partner isn't open to communicating and trying easy solutions like adding some good lube, there are likely bigger issues with them and the relationship. Open-minded people who are with rigid partners are never happy long-term.

Anyway, toys have nothing to do with the lube issue, although it sounds like you'd enjoy experimenting with those as well. Ask your gf how she feels about trying some toys, and consider any negative response VERY carefully. You don't want to end up engaged or married to someone who doesn't enjoy exploring new things!

 

[blackbisket]

SweetErika,

I think you hit the nail on the head, im very open-minded and try and I do feel after getting this out in the open, getting new prospective on everything. It really helps me see that she isnt very open and I can see the "red flag" this may bring up down the road.

Dont get me wrong here as my love for her is strong and ill never give up easy on that, but the fact is both of us deserve to be happy.