Ladies: Is a BJ not "Really" Cheating...

[long4phun]

This one's for the ladies... Curious question... I've known plenty of woman who during a "girls night out" got a little buzzed and carried away and gave a quick blow job to someone... or me... and consider it pretty innocent flirting... So what do the ladies really think... Are BJs pretty tame innocent stuff?

 

[lothwen]

I can't speak for anybody else, but I've never given a guy a BJ who wasn't my boyfriend or the guy I was currently dating

 

[long4phun]

Fair enough... But if your honest... Have you known a girlfriend who's had a different opion...

 

[LadyVer]

Not to me, but then again this is Lit. I love giving bj's but I'm also selective in who I give one to.

 

[long4phun]

Thanks for your open and honest reply, Minnie... A girl is entitled to a little mousing around

 

[LadyVer]

Thanks for your open and honest reply, Minnie... A girl is entitled to a little mousing around

You're welcome. I'm selective in which cats I give catnip to.

 

[long4phun]

I'm registered with the Selective Service System... Wonder if i'd qualify as your recruit...

 

[LadyVer]

I'm registered with the Selective Service System... Wonder if i'd qualify as your recruit...

You never know on an adult forum.

 

[daddysdalphin]

This one's for the ladies... Curious question... I've known plenty of woman who during a "girls night out" got a little buzzed and carried away and gave a quick blow job to someone... or me... and consider it pretty innocent flirting... So what do the ladies really think... Are BJs pretty tame innocent stuff?

Well first off you are using the word cheating.... to me sex isn't cheating if your SO knows and approves, either before or after the play happens. So if sex isn't cheating if all parties know then a bj is not cheating either. To me cheating is when you hide what you are doing because you know its wrong. That's just my oppion.

 

[lynn-23]

I would certainly consider a bj to be cheating. I've always figured that if your bf or spouse would be angry/crushed/hurt, then its cheating.

 

[long4phun]

Thanks daddysdalphin... That's a very fair and open perspective... Not sure outside the world of Lit how many people have that open a relationship... If my SO had a phun night out with the girls and gave some random guy a quicky BJ i don't think i'd care if i didn't know... If she told me, after not sure how i'd feel... in theory here, it get's me hot... but not sure if i'd want to do the full open thing and know it in advanced either... Anyway... thanks for the perspective...

 

[lothwen]

I'd also add.....okay, so you're okay with some random girl coming up to you and giving you a BJ, even if she's attached (or a not so random girl), but how would you feel if your gf gave another guy a BJ?

 

[long4phun]

lynn-23... fair enough... however i think most of the times this type of thing happens the person gets caught up in a moment... and takes the position what the other person doesn't know won't hurt them... or in some cases doesn't think it's big enough a deal that the other person would be indifferent, as long as it wasn't thrown in their face...

 

[daddysdalphin]

Thanks daddysdalphin... That's a very fair and open perspective... Not sure outside the world of Lit how many people have that open a relationship... If my SO had a phun night out with the girls and gave some random guy a quicky BJ i don't think i'd care if i didn't know... If she told me, after not sure how i'd feel... in theory here, it get's me hot... but not sure if i'd want to do the full open thing and know it in advanced either... Anyway... thanks for the perspective...

Well I can say is that I lived this type of relationship for almost ten years. So it does happen outside of lit. It just takes trust and openness...... but to each to their own...

 

[analgirl69]

I consider kissing someone else cheating, so a bj? Absofreakinlutely. Not sure why taken girls would be out putting themselves in a position to be giving strangers head, but ok..
Like someone else said, would you like it if your girlfriend did it? My husband would lose his shit if I did that or even kissed someone else, and rightfully so. I would be devastated if he did anything with another woman.

But that's me. In so many cases, monogamy is dead. I won't judge other people, but it won't be something that happens in my relationship.

 

[amofiga]

I'm not a woman, but I've always felt that blowjobs were "sex", as is pussy eating. Oral sex is just that, sex. Unlike Bill Clinton, I figure any penetration of a female body orifice by a cock or tongue is a form of sex. If you consider "cheating" to be sex outside of a committed relationship, then, ergo, it is cheating. Perhaps some might not consider finger fucking or handjobs "sex", but I'd still think that a spouse or SO would not be happy to find out this was going on if it had not been agreed upon as part of the ground rules of the relationship.

I once heard someone say, "If you'd feel uncomfortable about having your wife/husband/SO know about it, it's probably something that's outside the bounds of what's right." I'm not sure too many women would expect to come home after a night out with the girls and tell their husband they sucked some guys cock any more than a lot of guys would come in the door after a night out with the boys and announce to his wife that he ate some womans pussy sitting on a bar stool.....unless of course you're both into that sort of thing.

 

[Wyldfire]

Any sexual contact given outside the bounds of the relationship agreement is cheating. Fact that. So, unless they have an open relationship or any other "non-standard" relationship, yeah drunken head giving is cheating.

Now for the moral point of it. Do you as the guy receiving the knobber know she is in a standard relationship or is she a total stranger? If you know she's in a relationship, then you're pretty skeezy for taking the blow job.... Otherwise you're an "innocent" bystander..... And another clue. If he put a ring on her and you see the ring, see the knowing statement.

 

[strapon_tales]

Even kissing is cheating if done without your partner's knowledge.

 

[Wyldfire]

As an aside, does anyone else get the vibe that this is an attempt to relieve a guilty conceince?

 

[infinity706]

Any sexual contact given outside the bounds of the relationship agreement is cheating. Fact that. So, unless they have an open relationship or any other "non-standard" relationship, yeah drunken head giving is cheating.

Now for the moral point of it. Do you as the guy receiving the knobber know she is in a standard relationship or is she a total stranger? If you know she's in a relationship, then you're pretty skeezy for taking the blow job.... Otherwise you're an "innocent" bystander..... And another clue. If he put a ring on her and you see the ring, see the knowing statement.

I'm actually not sure a ring helps. A lot of cheaters take them off and most people I know in open relationships are married. There are also those out there like me that have given a woman a ring just because she wanted one. Now, they haven't been super expensive, but you can't exactly tell, just looking at one for a few seconds. (ok, some of the jewelry has had a huge pricetag in the US, but I bought it on a cruise, where there are massive discounts because stores are selling truckloads of jewelry every day)

 

[Wyldfire]

I'm actually not sure a ring helps. A lot of cheaters take them off and most people I know in open relationships are married. There are also those out there like me that have given a woman a ring just because she wanted one. Now, they haven't been super expensive, but you can't exactly tell, just looking at one for a few seconds. (ok, some of the jewelry has had a huge pricetag in the US, but I bought it on a cruise, where there are massive discounts because stores are selling truckloads of jewelry every day)

It's a good guideline for you guys sweetie. What you're saying makes it sound like guilt relief to me..... And really, you can't tell what a diamond engagement ring and wedding band set looks like? And as far as the open relationship thing goes, if she doesn't advertise it just make the guess she's in a standard relationship.

If they take the ring off then you fit the "innocent bystander" statement I made earlier.... But if she's just drunk and getting over friendly, look for the ring and be a man about it......

 

[SmileyGirl]

As an aside, does anyone else get the vibe that this is an attempt to relieve a guilty conceince?

Either that or a lame attempt to get his rocks off with stories of secret Bj's

And to answer the OP's question. If you are in a commited relationship then yes it's cheating obviously!
If you are in an open or casual relationship that you both agree to then no I wouldn't say it was cheating.

Personally I wouldn't be putting my lips around some random guys dick! But then I'm selective about that kind of thing!

 

[dee11mee]

yes it is

 

[prowlerrz]

yes

dude i have ? for you if i ate yourgf out would you say she cheated YES

 

[rbone04]

dude i have ? for you if i ate yourgf out would you say she cheated YES

Although I agree with your logic... Your use of the English language makes me sad.