Serious Help Needed

[chipcarver]

A LIT friend and I have been PM'ing for awhile and we both want to take it a step further into a sexual relationship via PM or email. Hence the problem neither one of us knows how to go about it. How does one start. What do you say to help each other along.
I know many of you friendly Lit people will help us just as you have helped others with their problems.

Thanks

 

[Athalia]

Is there an impediment to taking it further, like either of you in committed relationships? If so, that's a good reason not to pursue it.

If not, why not just say: "I'd like to take this to a different level. Do you? If you don't, I would hope that my asking hasn't compromised our friendship; I would be content with leaving things just as they are, if that's what you want."

In short, it's not really any different from exploring a change of relationship in any other context.

 

[JasonDaniel]

chipcarver

Not to change the topic of the thread, but your avatar is about the best hot air balloon I have ever seen. I love that.

 

[JasonDaniel]

Just my opinion: if possible, you and she should meet in person over coffee, and see if you really are compatible with each other. If both of you feel comfortable, discuss how you want to proceed with your relationship. If after meeting in a benign setting such as coffee, you find that you are not really attracted to each other, nothing lost. This isn’t anything you have to rush into.

 

[lazyhobo]

Just my opinion: if possible, you and she should meet in person over coffee, and see if you really are compatible with each other. If both of you feel comfortable, discuss how you want to proceed with your relationship. If after meeting in a benign setting such as coffee, you find that you are not really attracted to each other, nothing lost. This isn’t anything you have to rush into.

He said "Via PM or Email" so im assuming they arent considering meeting up real life side yet.

 

[JasonDaniel]

He said "Via PM or Email" so im assuming they arent considering meeting up real life side yet.

Thank you, I misread that.

 

[chipcarver]

Yes this would be a long distance relationship. We were just wondering how some of you fulfill your sexual needs via an electronic media. is it "can you feel me touching you there?" I've got a good imagination just not that good, unless there is pharmaceuticals involved.

 

[SweetErika]

Yes this would be a long distance relationship. We were just wondering how some of you fulfill your sexual needs via an electronic media. is it "can you feel me touching you there?" I've got a good imagination just not that good, unless there is pharmaceuticals involved.

Cybersex is probably best via IM. Either way, you could start by simply asking what their likes/interests are, and take it from there.

 

[lazyhobo]

Yes this would be a long distance relationship. We were just wondering how some of you fulfill your sexual needs via an electronic media. is it "can you feel me touching you there?" I've got a good imagination just not that good, unless there is pharmaceuticals involved.

Cybersex (Via IM / Email), Phone Sex, or even Video Calls / Web Cams.

All viable options.

 

[SubNebGuy]

A pair of webcams and free skype or google video chat would be an excellent starting point. Hang out, have some drinks, talk face to face...see how it moves from there.
I do think they have some USB vibrators now that let a remote user control the speed and pulse pattern...might be fun (but probably not cheap at first).

 

[PhilGarlic]

have a look

have a look at her posting history, that should give you some idea of her likes, even mention that you have seen her post in the .... section and if this is something she would like to chat about.

Are you attached already?

 

[Lord Pmann]

I am flattered you want to take it to the next level. Just ask me mate.

Interesting thread. Good replies so far.

 

[Thefamiliar]

Ok the other responses confused me, as it is stated they both agreed they want to do this but are having issues getting started...

Obviously its easiest to openly talk about sex to start. Things you like, dont like, want to try if you are horney etc.

I am absolutlely horrible at IMing or phone sex. Personally I am apt to say something outragous or misconstue something said to go off on a tangent. While its fun with the right person, most won't find me a 'good' cyber partner. I need time to digest thoughts and put them into tangible story form.

My suggestion is to start via email, write a small snippet of something you would like to start, say the forplay or set the scene, could even do the oral thing but leave it open, let the other add to it or write from their perspective, and go from there. Just like actual physical sex, you need time to feel your partner out adjust to their rythem etc. Its the same in writing with someone else. Allow room to laugh and let it go if its not working but keep at it, eventually you will get it.

 

[rustywilliams]

Is this thread serious?

I can't imagine how it could be a problem.
I mean, don't you just follow your thoughts?
If you don't have any erotic lines of thought then why bother?

 

[LadyVer]

Is this thread serious?

I can't imagine how it could be a problem.
I mean, don't you just follow your thoughts?
If you don't have any erotic lines of thought then why bother?

Could be they've never cybered before. Nothing wrong with that...