Worst Film Ever?

[pierrelarue161]

In my book, it's All Tied Up, with Teri Hatcher. The message is that men are scum and deserved to be kidnapped and tortured. I don't care what my ex-girlfriends did. I'd never kidnap and torture them. I expect the same courtesy.

What, in your view, is the worst film ever?

 

[PennLady]

I recall hating Beastmaster, and I was bored to death by The English Patient. I have a feeling I'd rank films like the Saw franchise and others as even worse, though. But I haven't seen them and don't intend to, so it wouldn't be fair to lump those in.

For my choices, Beastmaster was just horribly acted, at least as I recall. I'm actually open to the idea that it may not be as bad as I think, since it's been so long since I've seen it. The English Patient I just found deadly dull. I had no sympathy for the Ralph Fiennes character (the titular patient), or the Kristin Scott Thomas character, with whom he had an affair, so that made it a dull sit for me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You might enjoy this website;

TvTropes.org

 

[Adre]

Ishtar, hands down.

 

[PennLady]

You might enjoy this website;

TvTropes.org

LOL Oh that's great. I have a feeling I could spend hours on there. It's like an extended version of Ebert's Little Movie Glossary.

I remember that I walked out on "Tom Jones" when I was in college. Also didn't think much of "Octopussy." Hard to stay awake for that one.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I hate films where the message is that all of any group deserve what comes to them.

There are literally thousands of films where women get what's coming to them, that I won't watch. Thousands. And dozens of films where men Deserve what's coming to them, that I also won't watch.

Guard your sensibilities. Your entertainment is your choice.

 

[R. Richard]

Plan 9 from Outer Space is at least a strong contender.

However, the absolute worst movie of all time is a bomb that I was forced to watch as a part of government classified data indoctrination. Some guy in a black inverness cape was copying down data as a engineering type was attempting to pick up some skank with lines like, "Do you realize that the X-99 aircraft has an operational ceiling of 103 thousand feet?"

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I recall hating Beastmaster, and I was bored to death by The English Patient. I have a feeling I'd rank films like the Saw franchise and others as even worse, though. But I haven't seen them and don't intend to, so it wouldn't be fair to lump those in.

For my choices, Beastmaster was just horribly acted, at least as I recall. I'm actually open to the idea that it may not be as bad as I think, since it's been so long since I've seen it. The English Patient I just found deadly dull. I had no sympathy for the Ralph Fiennes character (the titular patient), or the Kristin Scott Thomas character, with whom he had an affair, so that made it a dull sit for me.

I love Beastmaster! It's cheesy fun from the 80s, and 80s movies almost never suck. The sequel sucks balls, but I love the first film...

Now Nothing But Trouble, with Chevy Chase, Demi More, Dan Akroyd, Jon Candy... It's also an 80s movie I think, but what a turd of a movie that is. When I was in my teens I could sit through any shit movie I stumbled across, but I could never sit through that one. It's unwatchable garbage through and through.

 

[TxRad]

That list of movies is so long.

 

[mynameisben]

Worst film ever...

After a night of swilling Jack Daniels, scarfin' on deep fried Twinkies smothered with jalapeño anchovy paste (not as bad as you'd think), and then heaving a vomit storm just before passing out, the film on my teeth the next morning was particularly heinous.

 

[Handley_Page]

The Wizard of Oz.
Perhaps I was at the wrong age to appreciate it, but that woman's voice got on my nerves somethin' 'orrible.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Sacrilege! Blasphemy! You'd best stay on the other side of the pond after that one, HP.

 

[pierrelarue161]

I hate films where the message is that all of any group deserve what comes to them.

There are literally thousands of films where women get what's coming to them, that I won't watch. Thousands. And dozens of films where men Deserve what's coming to them, that I also won't watch.

Guard your sensibilities. Your entertainment is your choice.

Absolutment!

 

[pierrelarue161]

I love Beastmaster! It's cheesy fun from the 80s, and 80s movies almost never suck. The sequel sucks balls, but I love the first film...

Now Nothing But Trouble, with Chevy Chase, Demi More, Dan Akroyd, Jon Candy... It's also an 80s movie I think, but what a turd of a movie that is. When I was in my teens I could sit through any shit movie I stumbled across, but I could never sit through that one. It's unwatchable garbage through and through.

Yes, Beastmaster 2 sucked....except for having Kari Wuhrer. I would endure that torture again just to see Kari Wuhrer.

 

[lovecraft68]

Plan 9 from Outer Space is at least a strong contender.

However, the absolute worst movie of all time is a bomb that I was forced to watch as a part of government classified data indoctrination. Some guy in a black inverness cape was copying down data as a engineering type was attempting to pick up some skank with lines like, "Do you realize that the X-99 aircraft has an operational ceiling of 103 thousand feet?"

Plan 9 was sort of going for that though.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm going to go with a couple. One many would agree with and that is Crybaby featuring Johnny Depp, there is a reason he is now all but exclusive with Tim Burton.

another was supposedly a huge hit, but I thought it was godawful and that was Fargo, Yah? really?

Catwoman. Even Halle Berry's body couldn't save this. When the bad guy is Sharon Stone as an evil avon lady you know you got issues.

The Village, M night whatever his name is.

Any movie which is torture for the sake of torture, Hostel, Saw etc....

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I can answer this a number of ways. The two movies that were so bad--and I knew they would be bad before going into the theater--were "Pumpkinhead" and "Lambada." In both cases, the tickets were free and hey, circumstances were such that I needed free entertainment at the time.

Two movies that were critically and commercially successful but worse than getting teeth pulled without anesthetic were "The Accidental Tourist" and "Forest Gump." I would gouge my eyes out before seeing those films again.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I'm going to go with a couple. One many would agree with and that is Crybaby featuring Johnny Depp, there is a reason he is now all but exclusive with Tim Burton.

another was supposedly a huge hit, but I thought it was godawful and that was Fargo, Yah? really?

Catwoman. Even Halle Berry's body couldn't save this. When the bad guy is Sharon Stone as an evil avon lady you know you got issues.

The Village, M night whatever his name is.

Any movie which is torture for the sake of torture, Hostel, Saw etc....

I liked the village Haven't seen the others.

There are probably a lot of torture-porn (It's an actual genre, not snuff films. 'Saw' for instance, is a torture-porn film) or campy sci-fi that I wouldn't like, but I don't count those because I would never see them of my own free will.

The movies that I saw of my own free will that I hate the most are, in order,

Letters to God. It was a fairly inoffensive movie about a kid with cancer who wrote letters to god based on a true story. It starred the actual kid, and I'm pretty sure there were no other real actors in it. It was just very trite and insipid and the bad acting drove me nails-on-chalkboard crazy.

How to lose a guy in 10 days. I was forced to watch this by one of my friends and it turned me off of the 'chick flick' formula forever. I just absolutely LOATHE shallow chick flicks. To this day the only one I like is probably (500) days of summer.

Eragon. I was a huge fan of the books (still am) and this was the first movie where I ever went to the midnight showing. I was so fucking excited for it, I reread the book over and over in anticipation, and on the last week, I was literally counting down the hours. I was expecting something epic, like LOTR. What I got was a cheap movie with a cheap cut-down plot and cheap actors and cheap design. Maybe not the worst movie in the world, but definitely the most disappointing.

 

[mynameisben]

A am ashamed to admit I sat through an entire screening of Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat. I guess I got caught up in Train Wreck Viewer's Paralysis. I should have walked out of the theater after the first three minutes. But woe! I was too overcome with the urge to vomit to get up and move. And then I wanted to see just how far an adult could beat one, agonizingly brain-dead fart joke into the ground. Now I know, but such knowledge can only be counted an everlasting liability.

Do you think I'm gonna go see The Dictator? I'd sooner cut off my own dick, hammer it into a pâté, spread it on a deep fried Twinkie, and give it to Safe Bet as a birthday present.

 

[lovecraft68]

I can answer this a number of ways. The two movies that were so bad--and I knew they would be bad before going into the theater--were "Pumpkinhead" and "Lambada." In both cases, the tickets were free and hey, circumstances were such that I needed free entertainment at the time.

Two movies that were critically and commercially successful but worse than getting teeth pulled without anesthetic were "The Accidental Tourist" and "Forest Gump." I would gouge my eyes out before seeing those films again.

Yup that's how I felt about Fargo and another one that was acclaimed and had me saying "what did I miss?" was No country for old men, because really, what did I miss there?

 

[Cruel2BKind]

Yup that's how I felt about Fargo and another one that was acclaimed and had me saying "what did I miss?" was No country for old men, because really, what did I miss there?

GRR!

Those are great movies!

*outraged impotent huffing and puffing*

 

[mynameisben]

And The Matrix is nothing more than the acid-drop blitherings of two brothers who took a Psychology 101 course at the community college.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

And The Matrix is nothing more than the acid-drop blitherings of two brothers who took a Psychology 101 course at the community college.

Hey!

Take that back!

 

[mynameisben]

Hey!

Take that back!

*back*

JK. Trinity gives me such a boner!

 

[lovecraft68]

GRR!

Those are great movies!

*outraged impotent huffing and puffing*

I like it when you huff and puff.