Why fall for someone we can't be with?

[boredVAwife]

I guess this is a stupd question cause the answer is obviously don't fall for them, but I have and I cannot be with her at the moment. I am in the last months before my divorce is final and she is maybe a million miles away anyway. Why do we allow ourselves to fall for someone that we know is a bad idea?

 

[Somehowyou]

I guess this is a stupd question cause the answer is obviously don't fall for them, but I have and I cannot be with her at the moment. I am in the last months before my divorce is final and she is maybe a million miles away anyway. Why do we allow ourselves to fall for someone that we know is a bad idea?

Because you want most what you can't have.

 

[Krystal89]

I guess this is a stupd question cause the answer is obviously don't fall for them, but I have and I cannot be with her at the moment. I am in the last months before my divorce is final and she is maybe a million miles away anyway. Why do we allow ourselves to fall for someone that we know is a bad idea?

Honestly, in my case, she's in my life. Right now that's enough. A million miles away physically, but so close emotionally. And that makes me happy. And maybe that will help us to find someone closer that will do......I don't know if this is even making sense......

Good luck to you.

 

[boredVAwife]

Yeah it does make sense but the problem is that I want to be with her irl and not just on chats or yahoo. I am hoping that soon it may happen but until then it almost turns me inside out when I let it.

 

[Krystal89]

Yeah it does make sense but the problem is that I want to be with her irl and not just on chats or yahoo. I am hoping that soon it may happen but until then it almost turns me inside out when I let it.

I know that's so hard. I hope you can figure it all out. Meantime, you have us here to chat with, and to help out if we can....

 

[IzzyAndy]

Because life's a bitch like that! I don't know whether it's worse having a crush on straights or gays/bis, depending on whether I'm in the mood to see straights never ever being interested in me as depressing or a good way to avoid having to make that terrifying first move.

 

[HeyItsDani]

I guess this is a stupd question cause the answer is obviously don't fall for them,

Generally speaking, you have little control over who you fall for. Acting on it is a different story, obviously.

 

[boredVAwife]

Generally speaking, you have little control over who you fall for. Acting on it is a different story, obviously.

Very true. I am backing away from my crush because it just isn't meant to be. I was surprised that at my age I could actually have a crush anyway.

 

[gypziedoll]

Hello to you my sweet friend, just wanted to say hi and to let you know you are being thought of in very good ways.

 

[LucyH]

I was surprised that at my age I could actually have a crush anyway.

Your user name includes "bored." At least with a crush that turns you inside out, you are (or were, if it's run its course by now) presumably not bored.

When I get a crush on someone I can't have (which is more often than not, especially since I can get full fledged crushes on fictional characters) it makes me happy to know that I'm sharing the world with someone really cool (in the case of fictional characters, that would be the author). If it's someone who acts like they like me, I get warm fuzzies from that, too. Plus, I can enjoy whatever it was that made me get a crush on the person in the first place.

It's only when I start trying to figure out how I could get together with the person, when there is no reasonable way to do so, that it really hurts. As long as I accept 100% that it's not gonna happen, the feeling is way more positive than negative.

 

[boredVAwife]

yeah the whole bored va wife thing was a complete impulse decision. I had no intention of sticking around on the forums actually. I did like so many others, started reading the stories (still do) and on a whim decided to join the forums. That was a while ago and I was truly bored outta my mind but since that day I have added a lot more to my work load, gotten far more active in a social life outside of my riding club and will be single again in January. Oh yeah I moved out of Virginia a few weeks ago so all in all I am by no means the woman my screen name says I am. The crush thingie has come from a year of talking and chatting with a woman that is a bit out of my league but what the hell we gotta try right?

 

[LucyH]

That was a while ago and I was truly bored outta my mind but since that day I have added a lot more to my work load, gotten far more active in a social life outside of my riding club and will be single again in January. Oh yeah I moved out of Virginia a few weeks ago so all in all I am by no means the woman my screen name says I am.

Me either. My name isn't really Lucy.
It's too bad you can't change your user name.

The crush thingie has come from a year of talking and chatting with a woman that is a bit out of my league but what the hell we gotta try right.

Yeah, life is too short to be sensible all the time.

 

[boredVAwife]

Me either. My name isn't really Lucy.
It's too bad you can't change your user name.



Yeah, life is too short to be sensible all the time.

honey I have spent my life not being sensible most of the of the time.

 

[fingermagic]

honey I have spent my life not being sensible hardly any of the time.

And there you have your answer.

 

[Seamen]

To be sure, its not something that one does on purpose. It just kind of happens when you aren't looking ...

 

[boredVAwife]

And there you have your answer.

Thanks for pointing that out to me mr wonderful.

 

[Wonder_Woman01]

I guess this is a stupd question cause the answer is obviously don't fall for them, but I have and I cannot be with her at the moment. I am in the last months before my divorce is final and she is maybe a million miles away anyway. Why do we allow ourselves to fall for someone that we know is a bad idea?

The easy answer I guess is that you can't help who you fall for. Besides whose to say that even though she is a "million miles" away that you won't find a way to be together. I'm sure if you both want to make it work you will find a way. Good Luck

 

[boredVAwife]

I read a thread once about being "Lit married" to another Litsters. maybe I should ask her to L- marry me?

 

[Wonder_Woman01]

Maybe you should.....but have you thought what you will do if she says "YES".

 

[boredVAwife]

I'd start a thread telling all of Lit I was now mrs. x's new Lit wife and I would have to play nice with guys and girls unless she joined us. Think that would work? Ahhh she'd probably say no anyway.

 

[Wonder_Woman01]

How could anyone turn down a sexy biker chick like you, it would never happen! As long as the new Mrs X isn't the jealous type I can't see why she wouldn't let you play nice with all the guys and girls. So do tell when are the happy nuptials??? lol

 

[boredVAwife]

And then a cyber honeymoon? ok I just might ask her then.

 

[Wonder_Woman01]

You won't know unless you ask her!!!! Cyber honeymoon now that does sound interesting..

 

[boredVAwife]

hmmm well maybe we'll see huh?

 

[Wonder_Woman01]

Yeap I guess we will.....but I already know the answer!