New story posted this morning

[mikey2much]

I think it was put in the wrong category but I couldn't find a category that suited it. It seems that I write stories that are hard to pigeon hole. If you would like to sample it a link is in my sig below. The title is Skeeter Bates Great Escape chapter 2. If any of you read it I would love to hear what you think. Email me or leave a comment.

Should sex stories be set in a 'once upon a time' type setting? If you set your story in a dark setting like a slum or a homeless shelter does it take away from the enjoyment the story could bring its readers?

I have been advised that the dark setting and the down beaten characters, make it a poor choice for mature.

 

[sr71plt]

Yes, I think that setting your story in any unusual setting (actually in making setting important in the story at all) limits your viewer base here at Lit. But it's an appreciative limited base. So if, like preferring high-quality stories, you are willing to sacrifice ratings and views and "it make me shoot off" comments to get high-quality readers, it's an otherwise satisfying niche to play in.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Yes, I do think you got your categories wrong. For me, Skeeter 1 should be NC/Reluctance, 2 in BDSM. Not perfect but maybe more a guide to the reader than your call.

No, I don't think erotica on Lit has to be fairy-tale - though it often is. There is some nitty-gritty stuff out there that has garnered quite wide appeal.

I think, though, you break the rules with Skeeter. You start with a cynically dishonest crack whore and her drunken sadistic penniless husband before introducing us to the charms of Doug and Reeks. Why should I (as reader) be remotely interested in what happens to them? None of them are attractive or sympathetic characters that engage my interest.

Yes, sex stories can be successfully set in a dark setting like a homeless shelter etc. Setting is important to set the mise en scene for the story but I think you fail to make us care/be interested in any of the characters.

If Skeeter is your protag, you can give her loads of negative features - crack addict, unemployed, brutalized by her husband, seeking escape, drugging him to escape, even stealing some cash - but you have to make us care that she succeeds (or sad that she fails). You don't create the empathy.

Without talking stroke, your sex scenes are brutal, unforgiving and without a sliver of passion. There has to be a tad of emotion somewhere, surely, else you have copulation rather than erotica - whether rough or smooth.

 

[mikey2much]

Nice to hear from you

Yes, I do think you got your categories wrong. For me, Skeeter 1 should be NC/Reluctance, 2 in BDSM. Not perfect but maybe more a guide to the reader than your call.

No, I don't think erotica on Lit has to be fairy-tale - though it often is. There is some nitty-gritty stuff out there that has garnered quite wide appeal.

I think, though, you break the rules with Skeeter. You start with a cynically dishonest crack whore and her drunken sadistic penniless husband before introducing us to the charms of Doug and Reeks. Why should I (as reader) be remotely interested in what happens to them? None of them are attractive or sympathetic characters that engage my interest.

Yes, sex stories can be successfully set in a dark setting like a homeless shelter etc. Setting is important to set the mise en scene for the story but I think you fail to make us care/be interested in any of the characters.

If Skeeter is your protag, you can give her loads of negative features - crack addict, unemployed, brutalized by her husband, seeking escape, drugging him to escape, even stealing some cash - but you have to make us care that she succeeds (or sad that she fails). You don't create the empathy.

Without talking stroke, your sex scenes are brutal, unforgiving and without a sliver of passion. There has to be a tad of emotion somewhere, surely, else you have copulation rather than erotica - whether rough or smooth.

I hope to build reader support for Skeeter in part three where she is lured into a hopeless situation by a wealthy guy. Big Mike proves his love by crashing through both laws and men to save her. I was just trying to set a dark world where Skeeter and Mike live. The sex scenes in both part one and part two are just sex acts to Skeeter. In part one it was to give her a chance to get away. in part two she needed a place to go and a ride back from the dealers after selling Mikes truck.

I will try to show a bit more love in my sex scenes when Skeeter gets back with Mike after he finally proves his love for her. I hope to have a happy ending yet.

 

[mikey2much]

That's a nice way to put it.

Yes, I think that setting your story in any unusual setting (actually in making setting important in the story at all) limits your viewer base here at Lit. But it's an appreciative limited base. So if, like preferring high-quality stories, you are willing to sacrifice ratings and views and "it make me shoot off" comments to get high-quality readers, it's an otherwise satisfying niche to play in.

I will take a bit of comfort in that. The scores are running pretty low it is running about 4.0 now but only 25% of the readers are going back to read part one. So I would say that means that only 25% really liked it. But I thought it was pretty good and I hope that more people will read and like part three.

Maybe an author shouldn't spend so much time setting a stage and go straight to the action. I tried to do that in 'Rough Play' but I missed the mark.

 

[PennLady]

I will take a bit of comfort in that. The scores are running pretty low it is running about 4.0 now but only 25% of the readers are going back to read part one. So I would say that means that only 25% really liked it. But I thought it was pretty good and I hope that more people will read and like part three.

Maybe an author shouldn't spend so much time setting a stage and go straight to the action. I tried to do that in 'Rough Play' but I missed the mark.

I say this all the time, but I'll say it again -- don't live and die by your numbers. Nor should you try to figure out any habits or rationales. People read what they want and not what they don't. They may not have time when they sit down to read an installment to read previous or later installments. You can't suss out the reasoning.

As for time spent setting up, I can't agree, although it largely depends on your story. Elfin is right -- you've given the reader a harsh world with unsympathetic characters, and while the writing is fine, when a reader rates it, what they're likely to remember is that something didn't sit well, or feel right, or whatever. Your scores may pick up if the tone of the story changes, or it may not.

I have three stroke stories, where I go right to the action, all rated lower than my usual ones. And some of the comments I received were to the effect of wishing I'd developed the character more. Yet in stories where I wait for the sex (i.e., set the stage), ratings are a fair bit higher. It depends on too much to be able to give a set of guidelines.

 

[PacoFear]

I have three stroke stories, where I go right to the action, all rated lower than my usual ones. And some of the comments I received were to the effect of wishing I'd developed the character more. Yet in stories where I wait for the sex (i.e., set the stage), ratings are a fair bit higher. It depends on too much to be able to give a set of guidelines.

I agree, though in lieu of guidelines, I'm lobbing in two theories:

1) I get the sense that the folks who actually bother voting are those who prefer a more richly developed story, commenting even more so.

2) I wonder if there isn't a sort of "branding" phenomenon at work too -- PL, at the level of attention you've attracted rose, your readership may very well be bringing their expectations as to the sort of story you're going to provide. If George Lucas made a musical, even if it was a good one, I suspect there'd be a boatload 'o bitching from his fans.

 

[sr71plt]

I find that my stories that go hot right away--or that did before I acquired a dedicated bevy of troll voters--invariably are ones that I think "well, here's one for the strokers" when I submit them. The ones that my trained mind tells me are winners aren't winners in voting here in comparison with anything else I submit.

On characters, I only develop them to the point that's necessary for the story element. I try to make them characters who the reader can visualize and personalize as they see fit.

Overall I don't see the readers here as salivating after plot and characterization and interesting setting and particularly good writing. That doesn't bother me all that much--I certainly don't let it influence what I write and submit--and I constantly say let both writer and reader enjoy the site on their own level. (And for that I'm frequently called a snob. Go figure.)

 

[lovecraft68]

I will take a bit of comfort in that. The scores are running pretty low it is running about 4.0 now but only 25% of the readers are going back to read part one. So I would say that means that only 25% really liked it. But I thought it was pretty good and I hope that more people will read and like part three.

Maybe an author shouldn't spend so much time setting a stage and go straight to the action. I tried to do that in 'Rough Play' but I missed the mark.

With all due respect your scores are low because your attempts at darkness fall short, ring hollow, and feel contrived.

Talking to your neighbor the crack whore does not necessarily carry over to the real thing.

You can't write "dark" from the outside. You have to find something within you to trigger it.

 

[lovecraft68]

I find that my stories that go hot right away--or that did before I acquired a dedicated bevy of troll voters--invariably are ones that I think "well, here's one for the strokers" when I submit them. The ones that my trained mind tells me are winners aren't winners in voting here in comparison with anything else I submit.

On characters, I only develop them to the point that's necessary for the story element. I try to make them characters who the reader can visualize and personalize as they see fit.

Overall I don't see the readers here as salivating after plot and characterization and interesting setting and particularly good writing. That doesn't bother me all that much--I certainly don't let it influence what I write and submit--and I constantly say let both writer and reader enjoy the site on their own level. (And for that I'm frequently called a snob. Go figure.)

I recently tossed out a mother/son story that I was rolling my eyes while I was writing it. Using deliberate buzz words and writing sentences thinking "yeah, they'll get off on this one."

800 votes and counting. By far my highest vote total, and on a story I didn't give a rats ass about.

 

[Dream_Operator]

Here's my two cents (on chapter one):

- You should pick one character and stick with that POV throughout the chapter, or at least the scene. You jump back and forth almost every other paragraph. I think the term for this is head hopping.

- Show don't tell -- just because you can write every single thought (and back story) of every single character doesn't mean that you should. It's weak writing. Introduce the characters and make the readers want to find out who they are and what is going on, then reveal. Less is often more.

- As Elfin pointed out, none of the characters are particularly likable. Why should I want to read chapter two? Why should I care? I think you would be better painting Skeeter as the innocent victim (at least at the outset) -- have her deny taking the pills, have her plead "No, please stop!" etc. Later on you could reveal her addiction and explain it as a coping mechanism.

Good luck with your story.

 

[PennLady]

I wonder if there isn't a sort of "branding" phenomenon at work too -- PL, at the level of attention you've attracted rose, your readership may very well be bringing their expectations as to the sort of story you're going to provide. If George Lucas made a musical, even if it was a good one, I suspect there'd be a boatload 'o bitching from his fans.

Haha, I received a comment to that effect. I can't remember it exactly but the gist of it was, "Okay, now we know you can do this, so now you can go back to writing your real stories." Found that pretty funny.

And now you've given me nightmares about future movies by Lucas... gah!

 

[mikey2much]

Thank you all very much

I may not have lucky in the scores but I scored big on advice. I think you guys are some of the best on the site and I thank you for taking the time to offer your insights.

I have much to think about before I post chapter three.

Again I thank you for your time.
mike