New scene added to spice up the start of a story - Good idea?!

[TheAlphabetGirl]

Hello

OK - so I wondering if I could learn from 1,000ʼs of others that have gone before me. A while ago I published a few stories, it was brilliant to get the little hot symbols as my work and style progressed and understood my classification as a BDSM author (rather than I think I thought I was a kinky couples writer lol). The first story had a great readership (the new writer algorithm certainly does itʼs job!) but as the category can be extreme on the whole I always felt the start lacked luster for a BDSM reader (ie way too tame & no sex!)

So a year and a half later - as my own journey into kink progressed and was exposed to more ideas shall we say, I decided to go back and ʼspice up the startʼ.

What do people think - good idea or bad?

In one way I feel Iʼve removed some of the innocence of my writing. In other ways I added a hot cum dump scene (fantasy) which might make it more appealing to any new readers.

Im also wondering if the reverse will happen - ie the start is pretty wild (anonymous gang bang on the tube) and then goes down a notch as it was always a couple story??

If you have any thoughts, advise and, or fancy giving part one 5 stars if you like it! That would be fabulous

https://www.literotica.com/s/tall-young-and-well-hung-pt-01

thanks!

 

[alohadave]

You want to add a new sex scene to the beginning of your linked story, that is unrelated to the actual story? Is that right?

Just write a new story with the new sex scene in it.

 

[TheAlphabetGirl]

Sort of. the story is about a horny older women and a date with younger guy who is tall and has a big cock.

The first part of the story is characterisation of the female lead so its her travelling on a tube and we hear about her fantasies as she sits with a tall guys cock in her face (which always happens on the tube, world over!). The first ʼclose to sex sceneʼ in the original story was about her arse getting dry humped in the morning crush. So was a tame start for a BDSM story and has a 4.43 rating. Part 2 & 3 are spicier and both have hot symbols and ratings over 4.6

The added part at the start is not out of context as we are in her head - but it is taking this dry humping action and leads the reader to a cum dump fantasy (which could never happen in reality and the story acknowledges this). So essentially I cranked up the start (and very quickly too, the fantasy is quite extreme for the rest of the story ie its a couple story but her 2nd fantasy is a cum dump girl), Its doesn't change the narrative as such but could promise more than the rest of the story actually delivers in part 2 or 3. This is where I got to thinking about editing and common mistakes that people make.

Maybe I need to add a part 4 which does involve multiple people and it would make the intro fit with the ending?!

 

[TheAlphabetGirl]

You want to add a new sex scene to the beginning of your linked story, that is unrelated to the actual story? Is that right?

Just write a new story with the new sex scene in it.

Oh and I can see the flow is out as well now so it needs re-editing but before I do that I was keen to take advice from other authors, and I would imagine pearls of wisdom could look like this....

- dont mess with work too much afterwards, its a journey. Set a limit on edits you make and move on
- definitely write for the reader and the category (BDSM need a strong sex scene start, couples less so).
- it doesn't matter how much I edit and improve the story - it isn't worth the effort as no one reads old stories anyway?!
- just write a new story!

thanks for the tip already!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Oh and I can see the flow is out as well now so it needs re-editing but before I do that I was keen to take advice from other authors, and I would imagine pearls of wisdom could look like this....

- dont mess with work too much afterwards, its a journey. Set a limit on edits you make and move on
- definitely write for the reader and the category (BDSM need a strong sex scene start, couples less so).
- it doesn't matter how much I edit and improve the story - it isn't worth the effort as no one reads old stories anyway?!
- just write a new story!

thanks for the tip already!

Write a new story.

That way you'll have another story, rather than an old one you've fiddled with. People do read old stories, but I reckon a new story will get you more readers, rather than folk going through a back catalogue. You've got to have a bunch of old stories for that to really work - like my eleven year catalogue, for example. But I get more new readers whenever I publish a new story, compared to those in-between times when I don't publish.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

Not having read the story, but based on the post, I would say no.
A story that doesn’t start with sex is usually building to it. That means the story is foreplay and the sex is the payoff. Adding a sex scene to the beginning of a story like that doesn’t make it hotter, but it does change expectation.
I personally like stories that build to a sexual payoff. Reading a sex scene at the beginning and then starting the journey from scratch feels… unfulfilling. If you wanted to write a sex scene where the MC is left disappointed and the journey is learning why, that’s a whole different story, but also quite enjoyable.

 

[TheAlphabetGirl]

Not having read the story, but based on the post, I would say no.
A story that doesn’t start with sex is usually building to it. That means the story is foreplay and the sex is the payoff. Adding a sex scene to the beginning of a story like that doesn’t make it hotter, but it does change expectation.
I personally like stories that build to a sexual payoff. Reading a sex scene at the beginning and then starting the journey from scratch feels… unfulfilling. If you wanted to write a sex scene where the MC is left disappointed and the journey is learning why, that’s a whole different story, but also quite enjoyable.

Thanks for the comments! On reflection I feel the same. The main thrust of the story (excuse the pun lol) is about tease between 2 people where as the scene I added was way more extreme as it was essentially a gang band fantasy.

I reflected on how to balance the work out and felt the only way to do that would be to continue the story, add more people, create a crescendo which leads into a scene with multiple people. I think it would make the start make more sense and therefore avoid the disappointment with the readers who thought - wow this story is right up my street at the start but the promise of the first chapter didn't deliver.

Agree?

 

[VelvetWaves]

Thanks for the comments! On reflection I feel the same. The main thrust of the story (excuse the pun lol) is about tease between 2 people where as the scene I added was way more extreme as it was essentially a gang band fantasy.

I reflected on how to balance the work out and felt the only way to do that would be to continue the story, add more people, create a crescendo which leads into a scene with multiple people. I think it would make the start make more sense and therefore avoid the disappointment with the readers who thought - wow this story is right up my street at the start but the promise of the first chapter didn't deliver.

Agree?

I'd agree with this somewhat. Most good erotica is as much about the sense of expectation than the actual sex involved. Then again, it depends on the readers as well. Some prefer cerebral erotica, others prefer smut style. Anyone who can balance it would have cracked the code. On the other hand, for someone like me, it is difficult to write smut style because I personally can't connect with it.

 

[TheAlphabetGirl]

I with you! With erotica I read I prefer there to be a point to the story which (on previous publishing I have had in my mind before I started to write).

Feel like I need to go back and see how The Story of O. started! Oh to create a classic hey :0)

Thanks for the comments