Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I'll admit to being responsible for one or two thoroughly bad, though not illiterate or moronic-type PMs. The lines were something like diving blindfolded into a pool at night, and ending with a big fat belly-flop instead of a splash.

Yeah, cheesy lines, even well written one still don't make for good results. Not always anyway.

I can honestly say the worst ones I get, in my opinion, are the ones where they send me some really long story of what they would do to me. Not a few paragraphs, but something written like it was a submission to Lit. I don't read those, I roll my eyes and delete. I'm not an idiot, they didn't write that for me. It was copied and pasted into several PMs at once, and they probably didn't write it either, but stole it from someone who actually took the time to write, edit, and share their work.

 

[highlandlassie224]

Soooo someone sent this!

Hi...never really know how to write pm's but here goes...

I like to be a sub...being controlled, dominated and instructed.

I love fucking my ass...tasting it...deep throating (with my toy) cum eating...pinching my nipples...ball play and anything else you wish to educate me with...

Check out my profile pic and if you like add me on yahoo...

Ooooooook I'd like to pass this one on to someone who is an educator!! Thank you have fun

Oh dear, I got that exact same PM not that long ago. I remember thinking to myself, "If he seriously thinks a woman is going to be turned on at the thought of him tasting his own ass/shit/taint/whatever, he is severely messed up in the head!!" The very idea of that PM makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little. UGH!

 

[Manroy]

Oh dear, I got that exact same PM not that long ago. I remember thinking to myself, "If he seriously thinks a woman is going to be turned on at the thought of him tasting his own ass/shit/taint/whatever, he is severely messed up in the head!!" The very idea of that PM makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little. UGH!

Honestly, that sounds like a high school kid with no experience except his warped imagination. He was probably chortling to himself while gobbling down cheetos as he wrote it. Lucky you!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Hi Friendly,

Are you horny on the farm?



Sometimes I wonder if people just sit there all day coming up with these witty questions. Obviously someone lurking and decided, oh Red's online, let me see if I can get lucky and plow through that friendly field.

*cough - cough - cough*

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I was proposed to.

And from such a nice fellow too. So he gets a for thinking of me and doing so in such a gentlemanly manner.

 

[HesterPrynne]

My best???

A simple "I'm thinking of you" from an old friend.

That's just the kind of warm fuzzy that makes me smile and keeps me smiling.

So ...... thanks to that person.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

My best???

A simple "I'm thinking of you" from an old friend.

That's just the kind of warm fuzzy that makes me smile and keeps me smiling.

So ...... thanks to that person.

Those are the best!

 

[HesterPrynne]

Those are the best!

They really are!! Have yourself a wonderful evening!!!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

They really are!! Have yourself a wonderful evening!!!

Thanks, you too!

 

[husky4life]

I usually just say Hi

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I usually just say Hi

Usually a safe way to go.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I think the thread needs a bump.

Title: chat and have fun

hi *name removed to protect the idiot* here i would love to chat and have some fun here today----i am 55 married but my wife is working and she doesn't know i get on here-----pm me lets chat


I'm sure while you're here, she is too, and she's having more fun than you are.


Title: hi

hi

any interest in a naughty chat

30s male in the usa

I'm gonna pass today, thanks.

 

[Aquagal]

I think the thread needs a bump.

Title: chat and have fun

hi *name removed to protect the idiot* here i would love to chat and have some fun here today----i am 55 married but my wife is working and she doesn't know i get on here-----pm me lets chat


I'm sure while you're here, she is too, and she's having more fun than you are.




This made me giggle. Love your response.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

This made me giggle. Love your response.

Good grief, he PMed me back after that and it wasn't even to tell me off, it was to attempt to keep the convo going. See that is why I usually just toss them the link. *sigh*


The other one - I tried to respond but he has his PM option turned OFF!!! lmao

 

[Aquagal]

The other one - I tried to respond but he has his PM option turned OFF!!! lmao

He's trying to tease YOU now. Lol.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

He's trying to tease YOU now. Lol.

It just made me realize that some of these men that join have no clue what they are doing on Lit. in the first place, especially if they don't turn on the PM option! OMG - maybe I was horny and he was the one to bring out the animal in me, but noooo not now, now I have to wait, until he summons me again from his almighty bench of power.



Really? Really? Really? Dumbass. lol

 

[fungatorgurl101]

I love the ones where they send you the I have never met you but ...

Hey do you like Anal!??

Well Hell yes I do why don't you just come on over mount me like the Bitch I am and fuck me hard... DUMBASS see I end up getting myself in trouble with those ones. Just ask Aquagal

 

[JSensei]

I can't believe you ladies have built a thread dedicated to quoting my PMs. I don't know whether to be impressed or sad. Surely they weren't all THAT bad, were they?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I love the ones where they send you the I have never met you but ...

Hey do you like Anal!??

Well Hell yes I do why don't you just come on over mount me like the Bitch I am and fuck me hard... DUMBASS see I end up getting myself in trouble with those ones. Just ask Aquagal

Gotta love the romance in the PM.

It's rare I respond with more than a link to the thread, but I figured, eh - I had a witty thought to toss back to him, the second time he PMed back, I figured it was safer to ignore him. lol

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I can't believe you ladies have built a thread dedicated to quoting my PMs. I don't know whether to be impressed or sad. Surely they weren't all THAT bad, were they?

A little of both perhaps?

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Gotta love the romance in the PM.

It's rare I respond with more than a link to the thread, but I figured, eh - I had a witty thought to toss back to him, the second time he PMed back, I figured it was safer to ignore him. lol

Well if you want so that we can skip right to the chase I will PM you requesting you to mail me your panties in a plastic bag so I can sniff them so you can add that to your list too!

 

[fungatorgurl101]

I can't believe you ladies have built a thread dedicated to quoting my PMs. I don't know whether to be impressed or sad. Surely they weren't all THAT bad, were they?

Now you know your PM's I just

 

[JSensei]

Well if you want so that we can skip right to the chase I will PM you requesting you to mail me your panties in a plastic bag so I can sniff them so you can add that to your list too!

What do you do if you get that request on a Friday? I've always wondered.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Well if you want so that we can skip right to the chase I will PM you requesting you to mail me your panties in a plastic bag so I can sniff them so you can add that to your list too!

I may have gotten that offer before, but you did it publicly, so I'm sure I'll do it now.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

What do you do if you get that request on a Friday? I've always wondered.

I happily inform them they are outta luck that on Fridays I am nix panties and then move on

I may have gotten that offer before, but you did it publicly, so I'm sure I'll do it now.

Wahoooo I will check my mail in a few days !