Help needed

[tufone2tame]

I need some help please. My master (also my husband) doesn't feel I have ever been properly trained to be his sub, even though we've been married for 4 years. He is actually sending me to another Dom so that I 'can understand what being a true submissive means'

I guess he's a little off-put that my ass-play is very slow in being enjoyable (and he loves it) and I tend to be a little mouthy.

I love my man...I am so much a submissive but I need an idea of what I'm in for when I go to this Dom for "training"

Does anyone have a movie link on training that they might be able to PM me, so I can see what I am in for?

I'm humbled to serve
Tufone2tame

 

[BiBunny]

If your "master" can't train his own subs, he might want to consider another line of work.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

If your "master" can't train his own subs, he might want to consider another line of work.

Seriously. I have about the same amount of respect for that as I do for people who ship their horses off for training..... If you're not willing to put in the work for a relationship, imo, it's not deserved.

Sorry I can't help you with a video.

 

[CutieMouse]

Wait... let me get this straight...

You aren't "enjoying" anal sex as much as HE wants you to, And you're "mouthy" (whatever the hell that means) - so he's sending you to someone else for "training"?

Anal -

How educated is HE on the subject? Has he read Anal Pleasure & Health? Researched anatomy & physiology (aside from watching the hawt hawt porn)? Has he invested in the proper kinds of lube? Does he even KNOW what kind of lube to use? Has he introduced anal plugs to help train the sphincter muscles? Does he think hawt hawt anal = flipping you ass up/head down and nailing you in one thrust, or is there any kind of communication?

Being "mouthy" -

Define "mouthy". Does the man expect that submissive = he gets to be right 100% of the time? If so, he would be better served to adjust his attitude, than expect you to adjust yours. I have yet to meet a dominant (man or woman), who doesn't deserve a bit of polite correction/advice from time to time. Example - my ex-husband occasionally thought I was overstepping my boundaries; as the more organized person, I thought reminding him which bills needed to be paid before late fees accumulated was being helpful.

Training -

Has it occurred to him that if he's so damn lazy he can't be bothered to "train" you himself, that you might actually thrive under the "training" of another person and end up happier without him? Just curious...

If you want to know what this "training" will involve, ask HIM. Then ask the person he talks into training you. Refuse to do anything until you get answers. If the answers involve things you are not comfortable doing; refuse training.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Wait... let me get this straight...

You aren't "enjoying" anal sex as much as HE wants you to, And you're "mouthy" (whatever the hell that means) - so he's sending you to someone else for "training"?

Anal -

How educated is HE on the subject? Has he read Anal Pleasure & Health? Researched anatomy & physiology (aside from watching the hawt hawt porn)? Has he invested in the proper kinds of lube? Does he even KNOW what kind of lube to use? Has he introduced anal plugs to help train the sphincter muscles? Does he think hawt hawt anal = flipping you ass up/head down and nailing you in one thrust, or is there any kind of communication?

Being "mouthy" -

Define "mouthy". Does the man expect that submissive = he gets to be right 100% of the time? If so, he would be better served to adjust his attitude, than expect you to adjust yours. I have yet to meet a dominant (man or woman), who doesn't deserve a bit of polite correction/advice from time to time. Example - my ex-husband occasionally thought I was overstepping my boundaries; as the more organized person, I thought reminding him which bills needed to be paid before late fees accumulated was being helpful.

Training -

Has it occurred to him that if he's so damn lazy he can't be bothered to "train" you himself, that you might actually thrive under the "training" of another person and end up happier without him? Just curious...

If you want to know what this "training" will involve, ask HIM. Then ask the person he talks into training you. Refuse to do anything until you get answers. If the answers involve things you are not comfortable doing; refuse training.

^---Wisdom. Listen to CM.

 

[DVS]

I need some help please. My master (also my husband) doesn't feel I have ever been properly trained to be his sub, even though we've been married for 4 years. He is actually sending me to another Dom so that I 'can understand what being a true submissive means'

I guess he's a little off-put that my ass-play is very slow in being enjoyable (and he loves it) and I tend to be a little mouthy.

I love my man...I am so much a submissive but I need an idea of what I'm in for when I go to this Dom for "training"

Does anyone have a movie link on training that they might be able to PM me, so I can see what I am in for?

I'm humbled to serve
Tufone2tame

First of all, no offense if you agree with your husband that you need training. That's your choice. As for this training, who knows what you could be in for. Where did your husband find this guy? What are his credentials, if any? I can understand that you love your husband. Maybe his qualities as a husband are wonderful. But as a dom, he's a lazy asshole, in my opinion.

He thinks you need training and so he's going to send you to someone else to train you? Is he sending an itemized check list with you, so you will be trained in the areas that you should be? I think you should know that everybody is different in what they enjoy and don't enjoy. That includes you. If you don't react to anal in "the proper way" in his eyes, that could be his fault and not yours.

And I would never allow someone else to train a submissive for me. That's not only my job, it's also my desire. That's a very personal part of a relationship, if you ask me.

Has your husband been reading the books of gor or something?

 

[tufone2tame]

Thank you

However, I do know, I'm never to question my master, so I humbly thank you for your responses, but I suspect I will find out what "training involves."

Respecfully yours
Tufone2tame.

 

[DVS]

However, I do know, I'm never to question my master, so I humbly thank you for your responses, but I suspect I will find out what "training involves."

Respecfully yours
Tufone2tame.

Of course, this is your choice. But, you do have a choice, no matter what he says. While I don't want to force you into any decision you wouldn't feel comfortable with, I would hope you at least understand that all of our responses were meant to give you alternatives to just going along with what your husband has decided. We are on the outside of your situation looking in, so we can be more objective about it. The only bias we have is to basic common sense and your safety.

As far as what training involves, there are no videos that could give you exactly what your "training" would include. That's part of the issue I'd have with a stranger getting involved. I hope you at least think about alternatives. Maybe talk to a close female friend about what's going on, if you can, to get another person's opinion that you trust. Good luck to you, in whatever choice you decide to make.

 

[CutieMouse]

However, I do know, I'm never to question my master, so I humbly thank you for your responses, but I suspect I will find out what "training involves."

Respecfully yours
Tufone2tame.

Ya know, The Men™ are free to use me however they wish, but I'd be dammed if I'd wander off to be "trained" by someone of their choosing without asking a hell of a lot of questions and/or at least having a rough idea of what the whole "training" thing was going to involve. I may be submissive, but I'm also the person ultimately responsible for my physical, emotional, and psychological well being.

 

[BiBunny]

Well, at least we know he's smart enough to recognize that if he allows her to question him, she might realize what a dumbass he is.

 

[HottieMama]

Well, at least we know he's smart enough to recognize that if he allows her to question him, she might realize what a dumbass he is.

QFT!!!!

I also think this thread might be a subtle attempt at obtaining wank fodder...

 

[marieR19]

QFT!!!!

I also think this thread might be a subtle attempt at obtaining wank fodder...

You got that vibe too?

Yeah, if this is for real, this can only end badly. A "dom" that can't be arsed to train their own submissive doesn't *deserve* a submissive. And... what everyone else said. Just... goodness.

(I have self-esteem issues, but even *I* can't *imagine* letting someone ship me off to a stranger to be "trained" without looooong discussions of exactly what will happen. WTF are these people thinking?!)

 

[Arenya]

Wait... let me get this straight...

You aren't "enjoying" anal sex as much as HE wants you to, And you're "mouthy" (whatever the hell that means) - so he's sending you to someone else for "training"?

Anal -

How educated is HE on the subject? Has he read Anal Pleasure & Health? Researched anatomy & physiology (aside from watching the hawt hawt porn)? Has he invested in the proper kinds of lube? Does he even KNOW what kind of lube to use? Has he introduced anal plugs to help train the sphincter muscles? Does he think hawt hawt anal = flipping you ass up/head down and nailing you in one thrust, or is there any kind of communication?

Being "mouthy" -

Define "mouthy". Does the man expect that submissive = he gets to be right 100% of the time? If so, he would be better served to adjust his attitude, than expect you to adjust yours. I have yet to meet a dominant (man or woman), who doesn't deserve a bit of polite correction/advice from time to time. Example - my ex-husband occasionally thought I was overstepping my boundaries; as the more organized person, I thought reminding him which bills needed to be paid before late fees accumulated was being helpful.

Training -

Has it occurred to him that if he's so damn lazy he can't be bothered to "train" you himself, that you might actually thrive under the "training" of another person and end up happier without him? Just curious...

If you want to know what this "training" will involve, ask HIM. Then ask the person he talks into training you. Refuse to do anything until you get answers. If the answers involve things you are not comfortable doing; refuse training.

Very, very wise words.

He has no idea of what it truly means to be a dom other than what he's watched in his $0.99 porn vids. A true dom knows how to not only train his sub properly, but he (or she) also knows that it involves a hell of a lot more than just shoving his demands on you & expecting them to be instantly fulfilled.

Sorry to be rude, but it seems as though he is the one who needs to be properly trained!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Gods/desses, I lurve the people in this forum!

 

[Etoile]

However, I do know, I'm never to question my master, so I humbly thank you for your responses, but I suspect I will find out what "training involves."

Respecfully yours
Tufone2tame.

*snerk*

 

[Chiara_searches]

However, I do know, I'm never to question my master, so I humbly thank you for your responses, but I suspect I will find out what "training involves."

Respecfully yours
Tufone2tame.

In a broad sense you did question your master. You didn't go blindly into his "training" but instead questioned what it might involve. It indicates to me that you do have valid questions rolling around in your mind that *should* be answered before proceeding. As others have said, you have a right to question what's going on because ultimately you are responsible for you. I hope you get answers before proceeding along with his folly.

 

[Stella_Omega]

However, I do know, I'm never to question my master, so I humbly thank you for your responses, but I suspect I will find out what "training involves."

Respecfully yours
Tufone2tame.

The stench of bullshite.

 

[DVS]

Being the advocate for a bit, here...
Dominants, can you imagine the fun you could have with "training" a newbie like this? Especially nice for me because she is mouthy and doesn't perform during anal like she should. As for the mouthy part, a nice training gag will do just fine for keeping her mouth quiet. Or maybe a ring gag, so I can still hear her screams of anguish. Yes, I could really enjoy a session with her.

Of course, she probably wouldn't like it that much, but isn't that what training is? Teaching or correcting the bad habits of a submissive that pisses off her lazy-ass dom. Yes, he's so lazy, he doesn't even want to correct what he doesn't like in her. He'd rather let a stranger take her to his dungeon and "forcibly correct" what she only sees as normal reactions...that is, until he's done with her.

What I would be concerned about, if I sent a submissive to someone for such training, is her tender asshole. Can you imagine the treatment she could get from someone who she would be sent to for corrective training? And just what is training but redundant, tormenting and often punishing sex (anal, in her case) until she gets it right.

Talk about rode hard and put up wet! Man, I'm in the wrong line of work. My kind of kinky sex and surely a rather large payment, too. Sure, this post might be full of wank fodder for a pervert like me, but what if it were a real situation, with no safe guidelines, where she wouldn't get a whimper of respect until she submitted to her "training"? She's likely to come back to her husband as a shell of her former self...no personality and no resistance. Her very spirit broken until she's just a compliant sperm receptacle. BORRRRRINGGG!

 

[Ellafun]

I would just like to thank the OP for the plot of my next Lit story submission. Thanks! Carry on.

P.S. She leaves the husband for the trainer at the end of the story, fyi.

 

[the captians wench]

Now see, I saw this as some one too lazy to google their own porn and just passed the thread by.

Who would have thought you could actually form a conversation from it!

 

[Chaingun]

I would just like to thank the OP for the plot of my next Lit story submission. Thanks! Carry on.

P.S. She leaves the husband for the trainer at the end of the story, fyi.

Oooh! Can I be the Dom that keeps her?

 

[SyntheticExtasy]

Does anyone have a movie link on training that they might be able to PM me, so I can see what I am in for?

I'm humbled to serve
Tufone2tame

Too bad nobody could give you what you came here for. Unfortunately, this community seems to have more intellectuals than gutter-brains.

Perhaps YOU are, in fact, are a washout, would-be Dom, and you have utterly no idea how to control your strong willed wife; so you came here to seek an effortless, how-to-tame-your-shrew guide. Poor thing; all you got was wise, sound advice.

Some of those ideas could easily culminate into a very useful advice column for subs who are new to the lifestyle, and uncertain of where one should draw the line on their "master's" control.

Has it occurred to him that if he's so damn lazy he can't be bothered to "train" you himself, that you might actually thrive under the "training" of another person and end up happier without him? Just curious...

He thinks you need training and so he's going to send you to someone else to train you?

And I would never allow someone else to train a submissive for me. That's not only my job, it's also my desire. That's a very personal part of a relationship, if you ask me.

Just my two sense. (pun intended)

 

[WastelandVoice]

I have to add my own two cents which are pretty much going to echo the sentiments of a lot of people here but I'll hope to add a certain sense of urgency.

....this sounds horribly dangerous to me. First of all there's not much in the way of "proper training" that is universal to all subs and doms. Often the training is highly personal to the particular party's likes and dislikes. There are several different kinds of submissives and masters and while they share similar traits- training is supposed to be a personal, individualized and intimate experience that connects the two of you.

HE should be the one training YOU to be a sub for HIM. If he's upset that you lack training it's because he hasn't trained properly and likely doesn't really know what he's doing beyond the ten minutes he spent googling "How to be a Master."

The fact that he's "sending you out" to get properly trained is also very unusual and potentially VERY dangerous. Who is this person? How does he know him? What is going to happen? Please be safe and ask these questions. It doesn't sound like Master/Husband is REALLY a Master in the lifestyle sense so much as a sadistic, lazy man who wants a wife who's a submissive whore and not a submissive partner who is loved and respected. And seeing as everyone else here seems to be thinking along the same lines I can only IMAGINE who this other guy is.. please be careful.

Being a "sub" is not about doing whatever your Master/Husband tells you to do and not having any thought, mind, or opinions of your own. It's not about being absolutely subserviant and submissive to his will. It's about an intimate relationship. It's about choice. If you CHOOSE to take this type of attitude and enter this kind of arrangement then that's up to you but please take some type to read up on the subject of BDSM and the Master/Sub relationship. It seems as though you don't have the right idea of what this whole thing entails and I suspect it's because most of your information is coming from Master/Hubby.

It sounds more like he's interested in whoring out his wife who he has taught not to question him than in any real or legitimate training. And that's not what a sub is.

That's what we call being an abused wife.

 

[tufone2tame]

That's part of the issue I'd have with a stranger getting involved. I hope you at least think about alternatives. Maybe talk to a close female friend about what's going on, if you can, to get another person's opinion that you trust. Good luck to you, in whatever choice you decide to make.

Thank you for your concern. Apparently he is not a stranger (just to me)...I don't have girl friends...rather sheltered. I think another put it well, that I may find out things I'd never considered with this "trainer". I shall see.

 

[tufone2tame]

*snerk*

What does that mean???