Endearing Name for a Dominant

[CaitlyCate]

Hey there,

I'm a submissive female married to a male dominant. We're in a d/s relationship but sometimes will play master/slave a few hours each week.

My question:

I need help deciding on a playful, yet respectful name for my husband. I only call him "Master" for the times I have a collar on and use "Sir" when I'm in trouble. Subs, what do you call your dominant when showing affection?

I would like to call him "Daddy" sometimes, yet I'm afraid of asking. (Especially since we have no children, and he's doesn't want any yet. I think using the "D" word would terrify him.) Question two, does anyone have any advice on how to approach my husband with this?

Are there any other names besides Master, Sir, and Daddy subs use?

Thanks

 

[CutieMouse]

I've never used terms like "Sir", "Master", or "Daddy".

"Dear" is a favorite, as well as "Sweetheart", "Darling", "Love", etc; I once had a lover I nicknamed "Arrogant Bastard" (it was a compliment). In my world, respect is expressed by the tone, not the word used.

 

[madam_noe]

I am a female Domme but have many friends who are are Male Doms.

Many go by the names Master, Lord, Daddy, Sir...etc, the classics.

My basic suggestion on how to come up with a name would be this:

1) As yourself what the dynamic is most often when you play. E.G. if you do Teacher/student he could be Professor, or is he's typically educating you that title works. If you do impact play and it's corporal, Your Honor works. If you do religious play, Father works. If you do little girl or age play, Daddy works.

2) Are you living a 24/7 power exchange lifestyle? If so it's best to approach him in whatever main slave position he's given you and beg permission to ask a question. Ask him what he prefers to be called: we Dominants like that choice (for example in personal play I strongly prefer Ma'am and I'm sure to instruct my slaves on this). If he has no answer, ask permission to make a suggestion based on the above step.

If you're not in a 24/7 lifestyle and you are equals in your non-playtime, that's the time to casually broach the subject over a meal. I would suggest being a little coy and flirty and doing this before anticipated play time. Telling a Dominant you've been thinking of playtime is a sure way to get our juices flowing. You can suggest a few optional titles or ask him if he has a preference, and it's a great time to also add what fetish play activity you've been thinking about.


Good luck!

 

[KoPilot]

We use the same petname for each other, sometimes modifying it to suit whatever. Sometimes I call him mister, though. It'll lose a little bit of the D/s factor since we're actually getting married, though. (I don't think I'll ever get used to being called "missus" over "miss"!)

 

[DVS]

Endearing Name for a Dominant? DVS. It shows "devious" tendencies, unknown dangers on top of perverse sexual kinks. And we should not forget the added plus of a cock with the size and power of a locomotive.

No stupid labels to cloud the scene like lord, master or even dom or sir...just pure, unadulterated devious kink. Call me anything you like, but I know you'll call me. You can't resist my endearing charm.

What? This isn't the BDSM personals?

 

[BiBunny]

I always went with "Fucker" or "Asshole" or something along those lines, but I'm guessing those are not what you're looking for.

 

[BiTodd]

just don't call me late for dinner.

 

[the captians wench]

I use "Love" most often. Though I have called domly types "Darlin'" in the past.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I use "Love" most often. Though I have called domly types "Darlin'" in the past.

See, in my head, Darlin' is either some like...cowboy voice...or Angel before he lost his Irish accent and was still Angelus....

Either way, totally not my voice However, sexy to hear from David Borneaz.

 

[Chiara_searches]

I've never used terms like "Sir", "Master", or "Daddy".

"Dear" is a favorite, as well as "Sweetheart", "Darling", "Love", etc; I once had a lover I nicknamed "Arrogant Bastard" (it was a compliment). In my world, respect is expressed by the tone, not the word used.

No stupid labels to cloud the scene like lord, master or even dom or sir...just pure, unadulterated devious kink. Call me anything you like, but I know you'll call me. You can't resist my endearing charm.

What? This isn't the BDSM personals?

(ROFLMAO DVS)

I agree with the two above...but I'm still a noob. I don't envision calling him a set "d/s" name because that makes it feel like play acting to me. Kind of like when someone says "grab that widget for me" without a please...my response is a sardonic "yes, sir."

It might be different for you. But like CM, respect is in the tone, not the word. I would also say respect is shown by the action, too.

 

[CaitlyCate]

Thank you, everyone!

I'll talk to my husband about it tonight.

BiBunny - I've used "Asshole" once...that didn't go over well.

DVS - Wow. Just wow.

KoPilot - Thankfully, everyone calls me "miss" even though technically I'm a "missus." But on our honeymoon, someone referred to me as a missus. That was three years ago. And I was only 21.

 

[graceanne]

I call him honey and sweety and when I'm being silly I call him twinkle-toes and snookie-winkums. Although, he's beginning to ignore those, so I'm gonna have to think of new ones.

 

[Dianthus]

I call him honey and sweety and when I'm being silly I call him twinkle-toes and snookie-winkums. Although, he's beginning to ignore those, so I'm gonna have to think of new ones.

Try 'bunnykins'. It goes over REALLY well.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I call him honey and sweety and when I'm being silly I call him twinkle-toes and snookie-winkums. Although, he's beginning to ignore those, so I'm gonna have to think of new ones.

lol!

My bf goes by "dear", "dearest", "dear-heart" and when I'm being silly "Oh Knight in Dusky Armor!! *swoon*"

 

[KoPilot]

I call him honey and sweety and when I'm being silly I call him twinkle-toes and snookie-winkums. Although, he's beginning to ignore those, so I'm gonna have to think of new ones.

Ooh! Those are good. I will definitely keep those in mind.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

I've never used terms like "Sir", "Master", or "Daddy".

"Dear" is a favorite, as well as "Sweetheart", "Darling", "Love", etc; I once had a lover I nicknamed "Arrogant Bastard" (it was a compliment). In my world, respect is expressed by the tone, not the word used.

"Arrogant Bastard" You must have been talking to my slave. I got that name from the name of a beer saw and she bought and named me. I was and am proud to be an "Arrogant Bastard"

Mike

p.s. The beer was damn good too.

 

[WastelandVoice]

My vote goes to "Captain Boom Boom Snugglepants"

I think it'll work and he'll love it.

 

[BrightlyGo]

It's funny, this issue was a real problem for us. Minor, but real.

She doesn't like 'Mistress,' because we're married, and a 'mistress' is an 'other woman.'

She thought the alternative 'Mastress' sounded funny, like matress.

She's religious - neo-pagan - so 'Goddess' isn't acceptable to Her, either.

'Mommy' was right out - I was raised by my mother, but she was never a strong figure, actually, I'm pretty sure she's a natural submissive, if it's hereditary, I know where I got it.


So, I get to call Her 'My Love' when we're playing. And, I capitalize the pronoun when talking about Her, of course.

We also use everyday endearments that don't suggest the power dynamic in our relationship, when we're in mixed company. 'Beautiful' is the one I use the most, I think.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

Cupcake or Muffin could work.

 

[the captians wench]

See, in my head, Darlin' is either some like...cowboy voice...or Angel before he lost his Irish accent and was still Angelus....

Either way, totally not my voice However, sexy to hear from David Borneaz.

See, I had this issue with "darn tootin'" on Jounar's IM. I just couldn't "hear" how an Irish accent could sound like Yosemite Sam.

But "Darlin'" from my lips, has a very soft southern bell flair. Don't ask me where it comes from, I can not tell you. But I' told it's charming. *giggles*

 

[wicked woman]

So basically a BDSM relationship is at it's core a relationship and you can use any endearment that you'd use in any other relationship. That it's BDSM isn't a deciding factor.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

See, I had this issue with "darn tootin'" on Jounar's IM. I just couldn't "hear" how an Irish accent could sound like Yosemite Sam.

But "Darlin'" from my lips, has a very soft southern bell flair. Don't ask me where it comes from, I can not tell you. But I' told it's charming. *giggles*

lol. doesn't surprise me. There are certain words/phrases I say in certain accents without even meaning to.

 

[CaitlyCate]

I discussed this with my husband last night. At first, he didn't take it seriously. But after a three hour ordeal which consisted of a lot of research on the internet and lots of fun (we were both cracking up the entire time), he suggest Sire. We agreed upon that.

I like the two archaic meanings. It's got the Daddy factor and the Lord/King title that fits perfectly for his rule over his household.

I found other names I liked: owner or keeper. Those were runner-ups.

And if anyone else has this problem, use a thesaurus or search for endearments or pet names online. There are some really crazy ones, like who ever thought sugar-daddy-yum-yum would be an endearment?

Thanks again!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I don't have much to add to this thread, as I simply agree with posters that it should be a personal and endearing name..and it makes sense to try a few out the way you buy shoes...until one feels right...and perfectly fits.

But "Darlin'" from my lips, has a very soft southern bell flair. Don't ask me where it comes from, I can not tell you. But I' told it's charming. *giggles*

Wenchie... reading your post I DO have to confess that I have SUCH a knee wobble for being called Darlin'... pour it into my ear with a soft and sweet sourthern belle accent... Oh my... Um... If I feed you decadent chocolates truffles and rub your feet will you call me Darlin? Please?

 

[midwestyankee]

Those seeking my interest have done best to call me Lordgodmasteroftheknownsexualuniverse.