Monogamous or polyamorous?

[Nasty_Deeds]

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe humans are not really monogamous, maybe we are really polyamorous? I read so many posts about couples who have been married for years and have stopped having sex with each other, yet one or both spouses look outside of the marriage for sex. Maybe that is what we are supposed to do; maybe we are supposed to have multiple sex partners simultaneously.

Gay couples are gaining their right to be married, (as they should), so why shouldn’t the rest of us make open-marriages socially acceptable and enjoy sex with whomever and where ever we wish?

 

[KoPilot]

"I watch the news and see stories about so many people getting raped. Maybe that means we're all rapists?"

Not to conflate rape with polyamory, but it is a pretty disingenuous argument. It's not that we're necessarily wired for polyamory as a species; we're just wired to be selfish.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

"I watch the news and see stories about so many people getting raped. Maybe that means we're all rapists?"

Not to conflate rape with polyamory, but it is a pretty disingenuous argument. It's not that we're necessarily wired for polyamory as a species; we're just wired to be selfish.

What has rape got to do with being Monogamous or polyamorous? In other words, what is your point?

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe humans are not really monogamous, maybe we are really polyamorous? I read so many posts about couples who have been married for years and have stopped having sex with each other, yet one or both spouses look outside of the marriage for sex. Maybe that is what we are supposed to do; maybe we are supposed to have multiple sex partners simultaneously.

Gay couples are gaining their right to be married, (as they should), so why shouldn’t the rest of us make open-marriages socially acceptable and enjoy sex with whomever and where ever we wish?

I do not understand the correlation between gay marriage and open marriage. Are you saying gay people are cheating and have no moral compass within the unity of their relationship?

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

I do not understand the correlation between gay marriage and open marriage. Are you saying gay people are cheating and have no moral compass within the unity of their relationship?

I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that our society is becoming more accepting of other people's needs and desires. Where just being gay was illegal a few decades ago, today it is becoming both acceptable and legal. So why not take that a step farther? Since so many marriages break up because of infidelity, why not make open marriages and polyamorous relationships the norm, both legally and socially? If open marriages was the social norm, it would lessen jealousy in the relationship, and by raising sexual awareness, could go a long way to eliminating STDs.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Example

If open marriages and polyamorous relationships were the norm, and you met someone where you work that you wanted to have sex with, you could go to lunch and have sex without sneaking around or disrupting the workplace.

Or another example: If one spouse had an unusual fetish that the other spouse was not interested in, you could find someone with whom to share that fetish, without pushing your spouse beyond his or her limits.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that our society is becoming more accepting of other people's needs and desires. Where just being gay was illegal a few decades ago, today it is becoming both acceptable and legal. So why not take that a step farther? Since so many marriages break up because of infidelity, why not make open marriages and polyamorous relationships the norm, both legally and socially? If open marriages was the social norm, it would lessen jealousy in the relationship, and by raising sexual awareness, could go a long way to eliminating STDs.

STD's has little to do with morality and relationships as much as it does with stupidity. I think people are very sexually aware but many people have that attitude that it will not happen to them. Take for instance AIDS. We are all aware and worry yet how many still have unprotected sex? How many idiots still share needles?

Actually, Poly-amorous relationships would not be the norm. Biology tell us this. Ask woman what the risk to her vagina is by numerous penises? When a penis is inserted it leaves dead skin tissue behind. In a monogamous relationship the woman builds immunity to the man. With many partners this does not happen and she can suffer illness. I forget the exact name. But the fact remains biologically we really are not designed for multiple partners.

The only legal issue is polygamy but feel free to fuck who you want or cheat on your mate or have an open marriage. Fidelity, monogamy and sexual orientation is a personal choice. Only you can decide what is right for you and fuck what society thinks.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Biology tell us this. Ask woman what the risk to her vagina is by numerous penises? When a penis is inserted it leaves dead skin tissue behind. In a monogamous relationship the woman builds immunity to the man. With many partners this does not happen and she can suffer illness. I forget the exact name. But the fact remains biologically we really are not designed for multiple partners.

I had not heard about this immunity before. It's interesting; I would like to know more about this. I wonder what effect this would have on prostitutes who have multiple partners daily?

 

[Robj76]

Well, hell...I'm all for it. I think it's a commonsense solution for some people. It's not everyone's cup of tea, of course. But hey - more power to those that indulge.

 

[LindsayRae]

What I am saying is that our society is becoming more accepting of other people's needs and desires.

It is? All I ever see is a society as a whole that tries to fight against gay rights/marriage, gays in the military, tries to use the word "gay" to mean "stupid" (anyone see the Wanda Sykes commercial saying KNOCK IT OFF?), tries to fight equal rights of any sort, et cetera.

 

[Robj76]

I think that a cursory look through history will show that society is becoming more accepting. Oh, there may be segments that shout louder and louder against it, but that is because society IS becoming more accepting, which that segment cannot understand and chooses not to tolerate.

Think about it - 6 states now accept gay marriage. Is that not indicative that society is becoming more tolerant?

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

I think that a cursory look through history will show that society is becoming more accepting. Oh, there may be segments that shout louder and louder against it, but that is because society IS becoming more accepting, which that segment cannot understand and chooses not to tolerate.

Think about it - 6 states now accept gay marriage. Is that not indicative that society is becoming more tolerant?

Not so much I think. Tolerance and acceptance are not the same. I believe more people are becoming tolerant. I know most in my family think homosexuality is wrong yet they are not haters and believe they should have equal rights. I think we are a few generations away from true acceptance.

 

[KoPilot]

What has rape got to do with being Monogamous or polyamorous? In other words, what is your point?

Uh, good job on not reading my post at all?

 

[ramrod32784]

If people are happy and its not hurting anyone and between consenting adults.Who cares?

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Uh, good job on not reading my post at all?

I read you post, no offense, but it makes no sense at all.

 

[LindsayRae]

If people are happy and its not hurting anyone and between consenting adults.Who cares?

This should have been the point made towards polygamy, at least. I doubt any of us would have gone off in all of these other directions otherwise.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

This should have been the point made towards polygamy, at least. I doubt any of us would have gone off in all of these other directions otherwise.

It's called conversation. Loosen up and try it sometime.

 

[LindsayRae]

How about if you loosen up? I have a feeling that Nasty_Deeds may think we didn't get his point, and that was how/why we all went off in so many directions.

It seems he wanted to have a positive discussion/conversation about polygamy.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

How about if you loosen up? I have a feeling that Nasty_Deeds may think we didn't get his point, and that was how/why we all went off in so many directions.

It seems he wanted to have a positive discussion/conversation about polygamy.

(repeats in childish mocking voice) How about you loosen up?

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

This should have been the point made towards polygamy, at least. I doubt any of us would have gone off in all of these other directions otherwise.

There is a difference between polygamy and polyamorous. Polygamy is having more than one spouse in a committed marriage. In polygamy, a spouse may not have sex with anyone outside of the marriage. Polyamorous is participation in multiple and simultaneous sexual relationships. In a polyamorous marriage or relationship, everyone is free to have sex with whom they choose.

In our culture, monogamous relationships and marriages are the norm, and although in our culture consenting adults do have the right to choose whether or not they wish to be monogamous, most people feel compelled to at least appear monogamous just to fit into family and community, regardless of whether or not that is their true desire.

My point is, why not take sexual commitment out of marriage, and make it socially acceptable, (the norm), to have sex with whomever and whenever you wish? Still have marriage, but not committed to having sex with your spouse only.

 

[pplwatching]

I think that you misunderstand what polyamory is really about.

Polyamorous is participation in multiple and simultaneous love relationships. In a polyamorous marriage or relationship, everyone is free to love whom they choose.

In open marriages and the swinging lifestyle, unlike polyamory, partners are free to seek out others for sex without commitment. Participants often say that it's just sex, and that their primary relationship is "safe" because there is no love relationship or commitment beyond sex. Poly love is the opposite. Poly is about building committed and loving relationships with more than one person. These relationships can be extremely difficult to maintain, because the needs of multiple lovers need to be met; emotional, spiritual, and sexual. There can be meaningless sex outside of a poly relationship, but from what I have seen it's no more the norm than in single-partner monogamy.

 

[LindsayRae]

There is a difference between polygamy and polyamorous. Polygamy is having more than one spouse in a committed marriage.

I do know the difference and was rushed when I was making my comment so I didn't pay attention that I didn't write polyamorous. Sorry.

 

[Patchouli]

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe humans are not really monogamous, maybe we are really polyamorous? I read so many posts about couples who have been married for years and have stopped having sex with each other, yet one or both spouses look outside of the marriage for sex. Maybe that is what we are supposed to do; maybe we are supposed to have multiple sex partners simultaneously.

Gay couples are gaining their right to be married, (as they should), so why shouldn’t the rest of us make open-marriages socially acceptable and enjoy sex with whomever and where ever we wish?

i'm reading a book that is stating something similar. at least so far. it's called...hold on...i'll go get it...Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

i'm not super far, but so far it's really interesting.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

This should have been the point made towards polygamy, at least. I doubt any of us would have gone off in all of these other directions otherwise.

This is just you being a fuckwaffle again since nobody referenced VeryBadMan's polygamy statement. Regardless if it was off point none of the above statements reference his remark regarding polygamy. But you are wrong because polygamy would be counted as a polyamorous relationship.

At least get your facts straight when taking cheap shots at people. You really do come off as a bitter person. I really wish VBM would take you off ignore so he can defend himself but he has decided you are not worth talking to or reading. Well he is a better man then me.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

There is a difference between polygamy and polyamorous. Polygamy is having more than one spouse in a committed marriage. In polygamy, a spouse may not have sex with anyone outside of the marriage. Polyamorous is participation in multiple and simultaneous sexual relationships. In a polyamorous marriage or relationship, everyone is free to have sex with whom they choose.

In our culture, monogamous relationships and marriages are the norm, and although in our culture consenting adults do have the right to choose whether or not they wish to be monogamous, most people feel compelled to at least appear monogamous just to fit into family and community, regardless of whether or not that is their true desire.

My point is, why not take sexual commitment out of marriage, and make it socially acceptable, (the norm), to have sex with whomever and whenever you wish? Still have marriage, but not committed to having sex with your spouse only.

Polyamorous - pertaining to participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships as defined in a dictionary - Polygamy is the same except you marry them