Screwed up so bad you wished you could erase it all

[Kianna104]

I'm not new it's jut been quite a while since I was here. I came back becuse nothing feels right anymore. I have messed up my bdsm life so badly that. I wish I could take every mistake and apologize for them.

And maybe get back some of what I had do you guys think its possible

 

[rinka]

I'm not new it's jut been quite a while since I was here. I came back becuse nothing feels right anymore. I have messed up my bdsm life so badly that. I wish I could take every mistake and apologize for them.

And maybe get back some of what I had do you guys think its possible

Maybe not get back, but certainly start over. Second chances and learn from your mistakes and all that, you know.

Welcome back! And hope new wonderful things are waiting for you!

 

[Scotsman69]

Always think of the future, never regret the past. The past you can't change: you can help to create the future.

 

[Kianna104]

Aren't you supposed to apologize for your past even if it was when you where young and stupid ?

 

[paul__2345]

no i dont think so only need to apologize if u hurt someone u only need to learn from your mistakes and move on

 

[Scotsman69]

You need to learn Kianna

Part of that may be apologising to someone you've hurt or abused. (I've done both, and apologised profusely when I realised the effect of what I'd done.)

It's part of growing up. May I tread on eggshells and enquire if you think your problem is related to your disability? I understand that, I had a partner for many years who had primary progressive multiple sclerosis. I understand eggshells. PM me if you don't want to make it public. I'm very attached and am not seeking anything.

Aren't you supposed to apologize for your past even if it was when you where young and stupid ?

 

[Kianna104]

I don't mind saying it in public. I have Cerebral Palsy. Becuse of that I have aide care so time is a factor. I use the computer to"meet up" primary becuse there is no way a paid care provider who flinches at helping me take my birds water dish is going to be ok with meeting up with someone or helping me to do it. A lot of people then consider me a "fake Domme" .

There are 2 other things i deal with are 1 i run a review business on line and it takes time and the final thing is if you say your calling at a certian time I expect you to do just what you promised. If you don't I worry. My grandfather was killed suddenly when I was a hs senior crossing the street. That has stayed with me even though i am now in my 30's

 

[Kianna104]

There are issues that stem from CP that alter the physical nature of things but the other issues always seem to get in my way first

 

[FloggingMolly]

I think some of it depends on who you're apologising to, and what you hope to gain from it. Do you want them back? Do you need closure?

Can you tell us anymore about what's happened?

 

[Etoile]

You're not alone. There is a great Kink and Disability group on FetLife. Hope to see you there!

 

[Scotsman69]

Thank you for explaining.

I wish you well in your quest Kianna. It seems likely to me that the best outcome for you will be to find a partner who is both your carer and your lover. I know, I know, it looks like a long step from where you are now to there. And I know that the role of carer can be a hard one. Maybe with MS especially, as sex disappears fast with the deterioration of the nervous system, and the condition is a constantly deteriorating one.

But at least, as I understand it, CB is a stable condition. You and your partner (you will find one Kianna) can adapt to how you both are together, and learn the best ways forward together.

You'll get to a better place Kianna. And from what you've said, it's not you who need to apologise to your former partners, but they who should apologise to you.

I have my own problems, though they're not primarily physical. I'll overcome them, as you will overcome yours.

With best wishes to you in your journey.

Scotsman69

I don't mind saying it in public. I have Cerebral Palsy. Becuse of that I have aide care so time is a factor. I use the computer to"meet up" primary becuse there is no way a paid care provider who flinches at helping me take my birds water dish is going to be ok with meeting up with someone or helping me to do it. A lot of people then consider me a "fake Domme" .

There are 2 other things i deal with are 1 i run a review business on line and it takes time and the final thing is if you say your calling at a certian time I expect you to do just what you promised. If you don't I worry. My grandfather was killed suddenly when I was a hs senior crossing the street. That has stayed with me even though i am now in my 30's