The 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'

[satindesire]

You can read my posts, I can go read yours. Guaranteed you participate in more "trolling" activity than me, Satan's Desire. We can look at the posts just in this thread, Squishy. I entertain the topic, you don't.

I'd love for you to prove how you following me around multiple threads that I've been in, being crass, rude and textually abusive towards me, calling me names, and accusing me of being someone I'm not when I would never give you the slightest opportunity to get to know me...IS NOT BEING A TROLL.

Go on, sugar tits. I'll wait. I'll be right here when(if) you come back.

 

[LaRocha]

I'd love for you to prove how you following me around multiple threads that I've been in, being crass, rude and textually abusive towards me, calling me names, and accusing me of being someone I'm not when you don't even know me is NOT being a troll.

Go on, sugar tits. I'll wait. I'll be right here when(if) you come back.

I haven't followed you anywhere. I posted here before you. I mean, all you have to do is look in this thread to see your stalkerish behaviour.

 

[satindesire]

I haven't followed you anywhere. I posted here before you. I mean, all you have to do is look in this thread to see your stalkerish behaviour.

Really? And is that why you always post to me first before I post to you? The reason I'm stalking you is because you're a pathetic excuse for an internet asshat who can't stand people disagreeing with them?

You haven't matured past the "pull her pigtails and run away" stage that middle schoolers advance out of. Please desist your creepiness, you give off that spooky rapist vibe that I just can't quite shake.

 

[LaRocha]

Really? And is that why you always post to me first before I post to you? The reason I'm stalking you is because you're a pathetic excuse for an internet asshat who can't stand people disagreeing with them?

You haven't matured past the "pull her pigtails and run away" stage that middle schoolers advance out of. Please desist your creepiness, you give off that spooky rapist vibe that I just can't quite shake.

Really, I just did the search, I posted here 400 posts before you. I've never spoken to you first. The one thread where I told the dude that he should love Jesus is where you got a boner for me, you just happened to be the last person that posted that day. Now every time I post you have something to say about it. That's what we call trolling on the InterWebzzz.

 

[LaRocha]

"Rapist vibe" that's fantastic, you must be a grown up.

 

[satindesire]

Really, I just did the search, I posted here 400 posts before you. I've never spoken to you first. The one thread where I told the dude that he should love Jesus is where you got a boner for me, you just happened to be the last person that posted that day. Now every time I post you have something to say about it. That's what we call trolling on the InterWebzzz.

Just because my boner is bigger than yours, doesn't mean you should be nasty to me. I can't help it if my E-penis is far superior to yours.

 

[LaRocha]

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/end thread/

This is childish, trolling, Squishers.

 

[satindesire]

This is childish, trolling, Squishers.

Thanks for the entertainment, and all the laughs, but I'm done with you. Pity you're not more fun.

 

[LaRocha]

Thanks for the entertainment, and all the laughs, but I'm done with you. Pity you're not more fun.

You promise to stop responding to my posts? You promise, dear? The five minutes that I've known you has just been so interesting to me, I don't know what my Internet experience will be like without you.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

You haven't matured past the "pull her pigtails and run away" stage that middle schoolers advance out of.

Well, to be fair, that WAS the highlight of my "game", if you will....

 

[satindesire]

Well, to be fair, that WAS the highlight of my "game", if you will....

I can forgive you for that, as long as you don't egg my house.

 

[FloggingMolly]

anyone else hearing a Bjork song when coming on this thread?

...It's all so quiet... it's all so still...

 

[shamegirl]

anyone else hearing a Bjork song when coming on this thread?

...It's all so quiet... it's all so still...

Or Army of me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Any activity that can categorically be called BDSM is a sex activity. I don't understand why people have to see penis in vag, or mouth on genitalia to consider something sex. If you meet someone, they agree to flog you, you get a nice tingling between your legs, a little high in your brain, that's still sex.

Mmmm.... maybe. Sometimes not. it might depend on the feeling of the people who are engaging, don't you think? Some people can't play a game of tennis without getting a hardon, doesn't mean that tennis is sex for everybody.

The "casual" really just means engaging in some sort of mutual masturbation ie sex where your partner is seeking their own pleasure primarily and you're seeking yours. AllYouNeedIsLove thinks that's the Devil's Work, that masturbation is self-abuse, that sex is only right when your goal is in pleasuring someone else you adore religiously.

The "causal" really just means that we are both seeking pleasure, in whatever way we define that, without committing to a lifetime of co-dependency together.

For me, a big part of my pleasure is in pleasuring someone else. and it's certainly occurred to me that forcing orgasms on someone might be a form of masturbation for me. But that's not what makes the encounter casual.

 

[chy_girl]

Any activity that can categorically be called BDSM is a sex activity. I don't understand why people have to see penis in vag, or mouth on genitalia to consider something sex. If you meet someone, they agree to flog you, you get a nice tingling between your legs, a little high in your brain, that's still sex.

The "casual" really just means engaging in some sort of mutual masturbation ie sex where your partner is seeking their own pleasure primarily and you're seeking yours. AllYouNeedIsLove thinks that's the Devil's Work, that masturbation is self-abuse, that sex is only right when your goal is in pleasuring someone else you adore religiously.

A BDSM is not always a sexual and/or erotic act. On top of which, you said:

Casual BDSM isn't synonymous with "abuse" it's synonymous with casual sex.

Casual sex implying some kind of sex act such as intercourse, oral sex, or manipulation of genitalia. None of these things are required for BDSM and there have been many times that I've seen people play without any of those.

Not to mention that there are many couples who do not participate in sex outside of their relationship but will participate in BDSM play with a third party.

 

[LaRocha]

A BDSM is not always a sexual and/or erotic act. On top of which, you said:

Casual sex implying some kind of sex act such as intercourse, oral sex, or manipulation of genitalia. None of these things are required for BDSM and there have been many times that I've seen people play without any of those.

Not to mention that there are many couples who do not participate in sex outside of their relationship but will participate in BDSM play with a third party.

Genital manipulation is really an outdated notion of what constitutes sex and sexuality. You can have phone sex without manipulating your own or another person's genitalia. The only thing you need for sex is a. more than one participant, b. some form of sexual satisfaction that's not entirely self induced. If someone gets turned on by any type of purposeful play, BDSM, phone chat, knowing I like some fetish and doing it for me...that's sexual activity.

This isn't for me to decide, but is BDSM as a lifestyle a sexually charged lifestyle or not? Is every act of dom/sub or s/m meant to turn people on? So the people who participate in BDSM with friends, they don't get turned on and go home and fuck their partners? It's casual sex/foreplay...

.....

I can play tennis without getting a hard on, but I don't know why I'd let someone tie me up, whip me, dominate me if not for the reason of some sort of satisfaction on their part. I can't imagine how that satisfaction isn't tied right into their sexuality.

Equating casual sex and masturbation might not be the best, I can see how someone can just really like giving oral sex because it feels cool to make someone else submit to them. But I think my description of casual sex is what BLoved is aiming for, a way to put casual as selfish and pair-bonded love/sex as selfless.

 

[rida]

@LaRocha, chy_girl and Stella _Omega:

I started a new thread quoting your posts as I think the subject of "is BDSM intrinsically sexual?" deserves its own thread.

Hope you don't mind!
(if you do, just let me know and I'll edit the post/thread)

 

[BLoved]

Now every time I post you have something to say about it. That's what we call trolling on the InterWebzzz.

~smile~

Thanks for the definition.

Anyone reviewing this discussion is going to find there were a lot of trolls participating.

The casual 'bdsm' community: home of the trolls.

 

[Keroin]

Burger King: Home of the Whopper

 

[TypicalDeviant]

~smile~

Thanks for the definition.

Anyone reviewing this discussion is going to find there were a lot of trolls participating.

The casual 'bdsm' community: home of the trolls.

As though his, yours, or anybody else's definition carries more weight than any other.

Besides, connotation vs. denotation is fun.

 

[BLoved]

Thought I should add this here as it is a relevant factor to this discussion:

---

AIDS is a problem everywhere, in every community, and it's a problem that people involved in multiple relationships do a GREAT DEAL to combat.

"It is estimated that more than one million people are living with HIV in the USA and that more than half a million have died after developing AIDS."

"At the end of 2007, the CDC estimates that 468,578 people were living with AIDS in America, around 20,000 more than 2006."

"An estimated 3,792 children aged under 13 were living with AIDS at the end of 2007. The vast majority of these children acquired HIV from their mothers during pregnancy, labour, delivery or breastfeeding."

"In total, an estimated 1,051,875 people have been diagnosed with AIDS in America."

"Since the beginning of the epidemic, an estimated 583,298 people with AIDS have died in the USA."

-- All quotes from http://www.avert.org/usa-statistics.htm

And yes, I fuck. A lot. With lots of different people. People who I'm not in a relationship with, Oooooh. I even have gangbangs and I ENJOY them, ooooh! I'm practically the anti-love boogie-monster.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Estimated AIDS diagnoses by race/ethnicity and year (50 states and D.C.) -- http://www.avert.org/usa-race-age.htm

Apparently, for casual players and their advocates, the risk of AIDs is a laughing matter.

---

The truth is without casual sex there would be no spread of the disease.

It is because of casual sex that the disease spreads.

And not just AIDs ... all venereal diseases are transmitted in this way.

And the more frequent the contacts, and the more numerous the partners, the greater the chance of contracting something.

In what way does casual 'bdsm' minimize those odds when it engages in "No Strings Attached" encounters with multiple partners?

 

[LaRocha]

cool story bro. I never knew that HIV/AIDS is only spread via sexual contact. Also, syphilis is only treatable with mercury baths.

 

[00Syd]

Oh, jesus christ. Sorry everyone! Just when this thread was starting to fall to the bottom, too.

 

[FloggingMolly]

It's not your fault hon, no-one blames you...

 

[zarngash]

In summary




This Thread




















EPIC
















Fail!



Thanks for your time!