Sports Quotes & Phrases

Kenny Mayne, before the running of the Belmont Stakes: "Other than being castrated, things have gone quite well for Funny Cide."
 
Kenny Mayne is hysterical:

I had never heard of it (the rodeo) until this year. Probably for the public it's kind of this oddity of getting to go to a prison, not like you're really going to prison but you're touching it in some fashion and being able to see a unique event.
 
This gem from Allen Iverson about practice:

"Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. (laughter from the media crowd) We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you've seen me play right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about practice right now. (more laughter)
 
Kenny Mayne is hysterical:

I had never heard of it (the rodeo) until this year. Probably for the public it's kind of this oddity of getting to go to a prison, not like you're really going to prison but you're touching it in some fashion and being able to see a unique event.

Yes he is clever in his observations
 
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Emo Philips
 
You just witnessed an old-fashioned rump kicking.

Hayden Fry

Listen, if you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

Tommy Lasorda

Bad shooters are always open.

Pete Carril
 
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Jim Bouton
 
Cool Papa Bell was so fast he could get out of bed, turn out the lights across the room and be back in bed under the covers before the lights went out.

Josh Gibson
 
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.


Homer Simpson
 
This game's in the refrigerator: the door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard, and the Jell-O's jigglin'!

Chick Hearn
 
I can't believe he hasn't made it on here yet:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.

Never make predictions, especially about the future.

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.

Casey Stengel
 
Can't believe no one's polished this one off, either:

"In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe!"

- the late, great George Carlin
 
Can't believe no one's polished this one off, either:

"In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe!"

- the late, great George Carlin

That's a great one! The whole riff is fantastic.
 
Switowski: He broke-ded my nose
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Let me try to fix that.
[Crewe fixes his nose]
Switowski: How do I look?
Caretaker: Much better, like a young Michael Jackson.
Switowski: I love little Mikey.


from The Longest Yard
 
I'd like to borrow his body for just 48 hours. There are three guys I'd like to beat up and four women I'd like to make love to.

Willie Mays' glove is where triples go to die.

I don't know what it is, but I can't look at Hulk Hogan and believe that he's the end result of millions and millions of years of evolution.

Jim Murray
 
I'd like to borrow his body for just 48 hours. There are three guys I'd like to beat up and four women I'd like to make love to.

Jim Murray

That's awesomely funny, Nats, but who's it referring to? (My wild guess: not Carlton "Pudge" Fisk.)
 
The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.

Spider Lockhart
 
Chris Mullin conversation on Sports Extra

Lou Carnesecca: "He's in a class with the Clipper."

Bill Mazer: "You mean......."

Lou Carnesecca: (nodding his head in a raspy whisper) " Joe D., Joe D."
 
Babe Ruth

“The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime.”
 
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