BDSM and Chronic Diseases

[ecstaticsub]

We all know that it is absolutely necessary for a potential submissive to let a potential PYL know of any chronic health issues he/she may have.

The question is once the information is known how does a PYL know what is safe play and what is not?

Some things are obvious--rectal or intestinal issues would make anal sex or play impossible or at least extra care is necessary. I have asthma so my PYL always knows where my rescue inhaler is in case I need it during play.

I'm looking for a good resource that list chronic illnesses and the activities that should be avoided. (heart issues, chronic pain diseases, hypertension, diabetes, etc, etc)

I know I can ask a potential pyl what I should avoid but what if he/she is a newbie and is inexperienced?

Thanks

 

[graceanne]

I don't know of any resources that will give you a blanket list of things that can and cannot be done in regards to a specific disorder. It boils down to communication, common sense, and paying attention. If your pyl is in distress (the bad kind) stop a minute and find out what's going on; knowing that having to stop because of your health isn't anything to be ashamed of.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I don't know of any resources that will give you a blanket list of things that can and cannot be done in regards to a specific disorder. It boils down to communication, common sense, and paying attention. If your pyl is in distress (the bad kind) stop a minute and find out what's going on; knowing that having to stop because of your health isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Thank you for answering. Being in the medical field plus being a bit of a safety freak I just want to be as prepared as possible.

 

[sammies_place]

This is where trust is a HUGE issue.

For a while I got into BDSM, was introduced into it by my husband. I walked away from my first Dom because he tied my hands too tight and didn't honor my safe word when I had to use it. I am diabetic and the consequence of that bed game was I had no feeling in my hands for over a month.

My second Dom was into extreme pain and humiliation - something I wished I knew before I got involved with him. He enjoyed finding my injection sites and digging his nails in or torturing areas where I'd bruised. After having several conversations with the Dom and getting promised that the edge-play would mellow out, I realized that things were not going to change with this Dom.

It broke my heart both times, but I walked away from each.

And this is where communication makes a big difference:

With my first Dom I was very clear on that I was using my safe word. The dom simply decided to ignore it. I hadn't asked, but he'd not been a dom for long. If I had known what a difference it made I wouldn't have done a single thing with him.

With my second Dom I got one story about how sweet and gentle the Dom was. I even talked with previous subbies to that Dom, just to make sure. Whatever switch that got flipped with me, whomever it was I reminded the Dom of and the Dom wanted to get even with . . . after the third time I realized he wasn't going to change and I still had the rights to walk out. I did.

 

[00Syd]

I have to imagine that most people with chronic diseases (or other medical problems) have a pretty intimate knowledge of what they can and can't do. It doesn't hurt to do a little research on your own, but I have to imagine that as long as you trust them to be completely truthful about their limitations, and you are aware of them, things should be fine.

 

[rida]

Here is what Google gave me for BDSM & chronic illnesses:

http://www.bdsm-education.com/handicap.html

If you scroll down, it lists conditions in alphabetic order. It covers really a broad spectrum of conditions, including disabilities.

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/health00.cfm

Have not checked all the links so not sure how pertinent they are.



Also I remember reading something about rope bondage and what to be careful for depending on medical conditions in the Rigger and Rope Slut group on Fetlife.

 

[YourCaptor]

Just ask them what they can and can't do.

Sure they may not tell you the exact activities, but it should be obvious. If you can't infer, just hold it till you get professional confirmation.

Also most people will have and understanding of how far they can push their body, so make sure you listen to them.

I can't imagine it being too complicated, but then maybe you have a predicament I'm not imagining.

 

[Etoile]

Kink and Disabilities group on Fetlife will help with this.

 

[graceanne]

Thank you for answering. Being in the medical field plus being a bit of a safety freak I just want to be as prepared as possible.

Nothing wrong with that, at all.

 

[graceanne]

Here is what Google gave me for BDSM & chronic illnesses:

http://www.bdsm-education.com/handicap.html

If you scroll down, it lists conditions in alphabetic order. It covers really a broad spectrum of conditions, including disabilities.

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/health00.cfm

Have not checked all the links so not sure how pertinent they are.



Also I remember reading something about rope bondage and what to be careful for depending on medical conditions in the Rigger and Rope Slut group on Fetlife.

Crohns disease is not listed. Neither is long term prednisone us. (Riddle: What makes a submissive not a submissive? Answer: PREDNISONE!)

 

[Vixandra]

Crohns disease is not listed. Neither is long term prednisone us. (Riddle: What makes a submissive not a submissive? Answer: PREDNISONE!)

Graceanne raises a good point. Different medications can affect the mind as well as the body and prenisone is a prime example of this. I watched it turn a mild-mannered cool older gentlemen into a defecating in front of the church manic insane-seeming psych-patient. But he needed the prednisone or he would have died from fluid filling his lungs.

Its an extreme example and I hope Graceanne's wasn't quite that dramatically altering, but it can happen. Coping with that kind of behavior change was incredibly difficult from a patient care perspective. I can only imagine how difficult it would be with a loved one, submissive or dominant.

 

[Netzach]

Graceanne raises a good point. Different medications can affect the mind as well as the body and prenisone is a prime example of this. I watched it turn a mild-mannered cool older gentlemen into a defecating in front of the church manic insane-seeming psych-patient. But he needed the prednisone or he would have died from fluid filling his lungs.

Its an extreme example and I hope Graceanne's wasn't quite that dramatically altering, but it can happen. Coping with that kind of behavior change was incredibly difficult from a patient care perspective. I can only imagine how difficult it would be with a loved one, submissive or dominant.

I've never had a med that stripped as much of my personality as quickly and replaced it with fear-riddled, hallucinating, fixated oatmeal-for-brain. Even in small doses and fast doses it tends to make people really nasty and prone to spouting awfulness.

 

[rida]

Kink and Disabilities group on Fetlife will help with this.

Right! I thought about it and then forgot to add it in my post.

Crohns disease is not listed. Neither is long term prednisone us. (Riddle: What makes a submissive not a submissive? Answer: PREDNISONE!)

I did not check thoroughly on the links and I actually got to realize that there is perhaps need for a more detailed and organized writing on the matter.

Any volunteer to write a article/summary on the matter? I bet you can make it into a How To book.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

We both have chronic and potentially life threatening conditions and are both very well aware of them and the problems that they could cause.
I am asthmatic and have severe food allergies that can send me into anaphalactic shock in mins, so the inhaler and epi pen is ever present. Makes any kind of food play a lesson in research before stating out!

 

[ecstaticsub]

This is where trust is a HUGE issue.

<snip>

Sorry for the snippage, but I totally agree with this first line. I am so sorry your experiences with your first two Doms was so negative. Safewords are meant to be respected, especially when a submissive has a chronic condition. Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I have to imagine that most people with chronic diseases (or other medical problems) have a pretty intimate knowledge of what they can and can't do. It doesn't hurt to do a little research on your own, but I have to imagine that as long as you trust them to be completely truthful about their limitations, and you are aware of them, things should be fine.

Just ask them what they can and can't do.

Sure they may not tell you the exact activities, but it should be obvious. If you can't infer, just hold it till you get professional confirmation.

Also most people will have and understanding of how far they can push their body, so make sure you listen to them.

I can't imagine it being too complicated, but then maybe you have a predicament I'm not imagining.

I tend to be over prepared for any circumstance. (I think it is the mom in me) I also like to think ahead to absolute worse case scenarios.

I also know from experience what it is like to be in a mental place, not really subspace, but in a "nothing else matters except obedience" type of headspace that I forget my own physical limitations.

That is when it is especially important for the PYL or others involved to be aware of signs that something is not right.

Thank you

 

[ecstaticsub]

Here is what Google gave me for BDSM & chronic illnesses:

http://www.bdsm-education.com/handicap.html

If you scroll down, it lists conditions in alphabetic order. It covers really a broad spectrum of conditions, including disabilities.

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/health00.cfm

Have not checked all the links so not sure how pertinent they are.



Also I remember reading something about rope bondage and what to be careful for depending on medical conditions in the Rigger and Rope Slut group on Fetlife.

Thank you! There is some very good information on both sites. I will certainly check out the Rigger and Rope Slut group, too.

Kink and Disabilities group on Fetlife will help with this.

Excellent, thank you. I see they have some threads about medication use, also. That will be helpful.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Nothing wrong with that, at all.

Thanks

Crohns disease is not listed. Neither is long term prednisone us. (Riddle: What makes a submissive not a submissive? Answer: PREDNISONE!)

Graceanne raises a good point. Different medications can affect the mind as well as the body and prenisone is a prime example of this. I watched it turn a mild-mannered cool older gentlemen into a defecating in front of the church manic insane-seeming psych-patient. But he needed the prednisone or he would have died from fluid filling his lungs.

Its an extreme example and I hope Graceanne's wasn't quite that dramatically altering, but it can happen. Coping with that kind of behavior change was incredibly difficult from a patient care perspective. I can only imagine how difficult it would be with a loved one, submissive or dominant.

I've never had a med that stripped as much of my personality as quickly and replaced it with fear-riddled, hallucinating, fixated oatmeal-for-brain. Even in small doses and fast doses it tends to make people really nasty and prone to spouting awfulness.

I'm a clinical pharmacist and I originally asked this question for two reasons. The first being that my PYL and I are considering adding in a third. Since I will be in a switchy type of role with the third I feel it is my responsibility to not just depend my PYL's experience but make sure I'm informed as much as possible. It seems that many people by the time they are at the age we are looking at have at least some medical issue. I just want to be prepared.

The second reason was more of a geeky interest professionally. One of the frustrating parts of being a pharmacist is that we know in theory how drugs react in a persons body, we know drug-drug interactions etc etc. But to really hear first hand experiences is so valuable, and I thank you very much for that. (I once had a professor tell us that he thought we should all try a drug before dispensing it...he was sort of kidding but his main research was on Valium and other benzos so I think he was thinking specifically of just those drugs )

Thanks again

 

[ecstaticsub]

We both have chronic and potentially life threatening conditions and are both very well aware of them and the problems that they could cause.
I am asthmatic and have severe food allergies that can send me into anaphalactic shock in mins, so the inhaler and epi pen is ever present. Makes any kind of food play a lesson in research before stating out!

Another case where communication is so important.

Your post made me think of another point. I am on chronic medication for my asthma and from the beginning made sure my PYL knew what I needed to take and when. Not only is it important to what medical conditions a person has but what medications they are on, too.

(this would also be important in case of emergency, too)

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Another case where communication is so important.

Your post made me think of another point. I am on chronic medication for my asthma and from the beginning made sure my PYL knew what I needed to take and when. Not only is it important to what medical conditions a person has but what medications they are on, too.

(this would also be important in case of emergency, too)

As would be the case for diabetis, if your partner has this, do you know what to do in the case of a hypo, what the symptoms are of severely fluctuating sugar levels, how to do a blood test if they are not responsive.
Gott to admit to turning up to meet Sir with a small jar of jam (jelly) in my pocket and a couple of sachets of sugar in my bag, just in case!

 

[Etoile]

I've never had a med that stripped as much of my personality as quickly and replaced it with fear-riddled, hallucinating, fixated oatmeal-for-brain. Even in small doses and fast doses it tends to make people really nasty and prone to spouting awfulness.

Really? I don't remember that at all, but it was a long time ago. I was on prednisone daily for about 6 months, tapering from 60mg to 20mg over time. The only thing it did was make me really fat. Seriously, I was always thought to be anorexic as a teen, then I started prednisone in 2000 and I ballooned. I'm twice the person I was then, thanks prednisone!

But I don't remember major psychological side effects. Then again, I was going through massive psych med changes at the same time, so I might have attributed any temper changes to that.

 

[the captians wench]

I tend to be over prepared for any circumstance. (I think it is the mom in me) I also like to think ahead to absolute worse case scenarios.

I also know from experience what it is like to be in a mental place, not really subspace, but in a "nothing else matters except obedience" type of headspace that I forget my own physical limitations.

That is when it is especially important for the PYL or others involved to be aware of signs that something is not right.

Thank you

This is key for me and my condition. My hypoglycemia can look a lot like this when I hit a low and a lot of physical and/or emotional stress can send me into a low quickly. So my PYLs or play parnters always learn to look for signs and tell the difference between these two states. They also learn to ask a lot of questions because for some reason I always answer any question asked of me.

We also keep orange juice, small candies, and peanut butter close by to help give me a jolt quickly if I need it. I also eat a high protein meal an hour or so before any heavy play. When I was in Ireland I planed all of my meals to be the highest protein and lowest carbs I could just incase he got the idea for some heavy play later.

I also have a safeword specific to my condition that I kind of just in every day life as well as when in the throws of passion. "Juice" every one around me knows this word and knows it means "get some sugar in me now". The reason this came to be was because it comes so naturally. Something like my self preservation kicking in. I was lucky enough to be playing with some one who knew my condition well enough to react properly the first time I slipped into subspace and then out of no where hollared "juice".

I think a lot of it is self knowledge and knowledge of your own condition and sharing that knowledge with your PYL or pyl.

 

[Netzach]

Really? I don't remember that at all, but it was a long time ago. I was on prednisone daily for about 6 months, tapering from 60mg to 20mg over time. The only thing it did was make me really fat. Seriously, I was always thought to be anorexic as a teen, then I started prednisone in 2000 and I ballooned. I'm twice the person I was then, thanks prednisone!

But I don't remember major psychological side effects. Then again, I was going through massive psych med changes at the same time, so I might have attributed any temper changes to that.

A lot of people get through it with some weight gain, or nothing, or just a bit of agitation. It's not hellish for everyone. I tend not to get the whole list of adverse effects from most drugs, so it really surprised me when almost everything in the literature was there for me. Coming down was a tooth-grinding shaking withdrawl in literary scope, I had cushing's syndrome in a serious way, to the point where I didn't want to be seen in public, I soaked the bed in sweat, and I heard singing voices. Plus more. Oh yeah, sex drive? HAHAHAHAHA!

I'm lucky I was able to keep the singing in perspective, but it was freaky.

I'm on 30 on a monthlong taper. I am not going back up if I tank again, I am getting alternate meds I've been completely resistant to taking or surgery at that point. I will never go through another multi-month run with it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think a lot of it is self knowledge and knowledge of your own condition and sharing that knowledge with your PYL or pyl.

And the PYL being willing to listen and take notice, not feel it is a threat to their control or dominance over the pyl.

Catalina

 

[Bandit58]

As would be the case for diabetis, if your partner has this, do you know what to do in the case of a hypo, what the symptoms are of severely fluctuating sugar levels, how to do a blood test if they are not responsive.
Gott to admit to turning up to meet Sir with a small jar of jam (jelly) in my pocket and a couple of sachets of sugar in my bag, just in case!

Sir is diabetic, and one of the first things He taught me when I visited Him was what to do if He started acting funny - how to use the glucometer and what to do if His sugar was low, and what the Australian emergency phone number was....lucky He did because I had to call an ambulance three days into my visit when He had a really bad hypo and was unresponsive

We check His sugar before we play and most especially if I'm going to be in restraints! There are jellybeans all around the house (bedroom, lounge room and other sweets in the kitchen cupboard) along with sugared Pepsi in the fridge. He can usually feel when he's low but sometimes it sneaks up on Him - He's one of those who can function when he's very low so things can be deceptive. Mood changes are a good sign that something isn't right and so I will suggest that He check His sugar....more often than not it's low!