Too much information?

[pplwatching]

My wife and I have befriended another couple. We've become very close friends, which is kind of unusual for us because most of our friends have moved away before we really had a chance to form deep friendships.

On two occasions in the past month or so, in the company of all four of us, the ladies have chatted about sex. I'll give you a couple of examples. She expressed frustration about her kids sleeping in the marriage bed, how long it has been since she's "gotten laid" (her words) because of that, and how she hates watching movies on her date night with hubby because she'd rather have him pay attention to her. My wife, in turn, shared that we sometimes rent a porno on our date night because it inspires lots of touchy-feelies and small talk.

It doesn't bother me that my wife and she chat about some of the more intimate details of our marriage. After all, I have shared details of my sex life on these boards. It just surprised me when the conversation turned to sex when the four of us were shooting the breeze. I really wasn't sure how much I was supposed to add to the conversation, and neither was he. So, we joked about being chopped liver and went out on the porch and had a beer.

Overall, I think it's great that my wife is willing to talk about sex with another couple and offer and listen to suggestions. It's like this forum, but in real life without the anonymity. I am curious how common this is. Where do you draw the line on how much information you'll share with your best friend? With your best friend and her hubby over drinks? If you share the details of your sex life here in an honest attempt to help others, would you do the same in real life?

 

[Shadowann2]

My wife and I have befriended another couple. We've become very close friends, which is kind of unusual for us because most of our friends have moved away before we really had a chance to form deep friendships.

On two occasions in the past month or so, in the company of all four of us, the ladies have chatted about sex. I'll give you a couple of examples. She expressed frustration about her kids sleeping in the marriage bed, how long it has been since she's "gotten laid" (her words) because of that, and how she hates watching movies on her date night with hubby because she'd rather have him pay attention to her. My wife, in turn, shared that we sometimes rent a porno on our date night because it inspires lots of touchy-feelies and small talk.

It doesn't bother me that my wife and she chat about some of the more intimate details of our marriage. After all, I have shared details of my sex life on these boards. It just surprised me when the conversation turned to sex when the four of us were shooting the breeze. I really wasn't sure how much I was supposed to add to the conversation, and neither was he. So, we joked about being chopped liver and went out on the porch and had a beer.

Overall, I think it's great that my wife is willing to talk about sex with another couple and offer and listen to suggestions. It's like this forum, but in real life without the anonymity. I am curious how common this is. Where do you draw the line on how much information you'll share with your best friend? With your best friend and her hubby over drinks? If you share the details of your sex life here in an honest attempt to help others, would you do the same in real life?

There isn't much that wouldn't tell my best friend about my sex life. In front of her husband...now that's a different story. I spend very little time with my friends' husbands because they are usually working, and when they aren't working, I don't hang out with them much because I know they need "us" time.

I share alot about my life daily, both here and IRL. Talking about sex isn't that big of a leap for me. If my experiences can help someone else, I'm all for it.

 

[literal]

i think it does get wierd if you are sharing those information infront of their spouse. my friends wife use to tell a lot of intimate details about them to my now ex-gf and i heard she also was curious to know more about us, kinda demanding details. But us men never talked about it or even brought up anything like this when 4 of us are together. Inspite of all that i felt it was a little wierd for his wife to share all those. i dont see her the same way any more.

 

[irishwoody]

From my perspective I would not get upset. In my expereince women tend to be more open with each other regarding their sex lives, they will express likes and dislikes together etc.

I think most men are a little different - certainly with my friends I would never discuss sexual topics that provide my friends with "inside information" (apart from anon. on Lit.). Perhaps that just a manification of the "Men dont talk openly about emotions" cliche or perhaps its becasue we dont feel comfortable giving our friends information that could be used to rib us. I dont fully know. But it easier for use guys to talk about football etc.

I know it sounds like a double standard but I would be more uncomfortable if I discovered my wife talking to close male friend and discovered her talking about inside details. I guess it all down to what I perceive this Friends intentions are and if there is any sexual motivations there? If its just good friends then I dont see an issue.

Not wanting to divert your topic or start another debate I would suggest it just one small diference between the sexes. (and yes on the whole I do think men and women can think differently topics.)

Woody

 

[pplwatching]

Thanks for your feedback.

It really doesn't bother me that they talk, but yes we guys tend to drift out of the room when the gals start chatting. As far as extramarital sex, I am certain that there's no sexual motivation.

Viva Le Difference', eh?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I don't really talk much about sex with my female friends but that's because Master & I are very kinky and it's just not something my friends would understand. A while ago though I discovered that a couple of my friends thought I was prudish because I avoided sexual discussions or didn't contribute much to them. I was gobsmacked. It never occurred to me that I was giving that impression. We had a few more glasses of wine and chatted more about it, whereupon I alluded to the dynamic I have with my guy but didn't go into any detail. Then, out of the blue, one friend asked me if I have ever had anal sex. I admitted that I had and also that I enjoy it. After that, things got a lot more detailed and suffice to say, my friends now think I'm a deviant sex goddess.

Which of course, I am.

The next time I saw these friends, I wondered if anything would have changed or if they'd treat me differently. There really wasn't any problem at all. They do tease me a little now, as though my man's an ogre or something. It's made things easier in a way because they know that when I defer to him, it's because I want to, not because I'm some kind of terrified, oppressed woman.

You'd be surprised what women will discuss sometimes when their menfolk are absent or pre-occupied. Also, men can often be engrossed in something else, like sport. I was at my best mate's house while her guy and some of his friends were watching the football. She knew she was going to be a soccer widow that evening, which is why I was there. At some crucial moment or other, she unwittingly offered them drinks.

'You guys want a drink?'

Silence.

'Beer? Anyone want a beer?'

'Shhh!'

'How about I just suck all your dicks?'

Silence.

I think that because guys often don't expect women to talk explicitly about sex, they just assume that it doesn't happen.

 

[Eilan]

My two closest female friends are virgins in their mid-thirties (neither, in fact, has ever had a boyfriend), so I save the sex talk for my husband and my Lit friends and acquaintances.

ETA: I enjoy threads like these. They remind me of why I gravitated to HT in the first place.

 

[esales]

My wife has talked to one of her best friends before. At the same time we do not vollenter anything. I learned a long time ago that if you tell anyone you are a sadist they instantly look down on you as a pervert. Either that or you never see them again. lol The only reason my wife talked to her friend was because her friend had confided that she too had feelings of being a masochist.

 

[pplwatching]

Good point. With this particular couple that (hopefully) won't be a problem. It turns out he and I graduated about a year apart from the same high school 'back in the day'. We both had really similar experiences from partying to the cars we drove. I don't think he's the judgemental type, or her for that matter.