3-some

[banes27]

It does turn me on, the thouht of my gf going down on another girl while I fuck her or taking another guy's cock while I fuck her is such a turn-on. I think it's the idea of being involved, but partially... detached from the situation, seeing what your partner usually does to someone else that is the reason behind it being such a widespread fantasy.

 

[Marquis]

Three broad categories - threesomes involving my first poly relationship, threesomes with friends, and threesomes involving my current poly relationship.

The first poly relationship was also my first threesome. The first was quite hot, as, well, it was my first. Both girls were a bit drunk, and it was largely me swap-fucking them. I was the middle, and markedly so. These threesomes were exciting and satisfying largely because they were pure fantasy fodder, as I'd not done it before. In retrospect, there were so many issues with that relationship, and the threesomes, that the sessions would in no way satisfy me now. Hindsight, as always, is 20/20.

Threesomes with friends were entertaining. I was not quite so much in the middle there. Sometimes the friend was the middle, sometimes viv was. I'm just not really wired for casual sex, so it was not what it could be. I honestly prefer sex in committed relationships.

Threesomes in my current relationship are the best. Yeah yeah, I know, of course I'd say that, right? It's true though. We're all really comfortable with each other, so the foreplay includes a lot of fun and laughing generally. Swap-fucking is pretty common, as I usually initiate a threesome when I am feeling particularly ravenous, and just want a lot. At that point, each one gets fucked good and hard for a bit and is usually not unhappy with the rest they get when I move to the other. Once we get into the swing of things, the
girls usually play with each other (sometimes on their own, sometimes at my direction). Occasionally, I will just have the girls play, and I will insert myself when and where I feel like. Those can be a lot of fun, and are usually more laid back.

The key for me is managing expectations. I know what I expect, and know what they expect, and I juggle those levels of need and want. I am explicitly in control of the situation, and thus feel it is my responsibility to play the overall scene as such. That means not focusing entirely on one partner, regardless of how much I may want to just hammer away until I climax. It usually means that I am touching the other person, kissing, rubbing, fingering, etc while fucking my current target.

Fortunately, given my special issues with ejaculation, I can last as long as I want to, and don't really mind if I don't reach orgasm. This takes a lot of pressure off of everyone, and we can all focus on just having a good time and enjoying each other. And given our power structure, I am technically going to be the middle in general. Again, the defined role resolves many issues, and removes some of the stress.

Between my sexual dysfunction, and uncommon relationship structure, I didn't really feel like my experiences were all that useful for the usual person.

This is all very hot.

I know what you mean about being not wired for casual sex. I am often the same way, and yet I tend to crave it. It's much better to do as you have done and collect stable mates.

What's your sexual dysfunction?

 

[Homburg]

This is all very hot.

Thanks

I know what you mean about being not wired for casual sex. I am often the same way, and yet I tend to crave it. It's much better to do as you have done and collect stable mates.

What's your sexual dysfunction?

Stable mates? Heh, the phrase makes me think of stabling horses, which is oddly appropriate here...

Anyway, it's called Retarded Ejaculation. The long and short of it is that it is difficult for me to climax. My penis will just sometimes lose feeling. It sounds weird, but I can't describe it any other way. The sensations get farther and farther away until I feel.. something, and it is vaguely pleasurable, but it is not what you would usually feel when fucking. It can get pretty bad, sometimes to the point where I'm all but numb.

It goes hand in glove with dominance though, as one of the fixes is having total control over position, tempo, force, etc. If even the tiniest thing is off, I won't come sometimes. And arousal levels don't always matter. For example, the first threesome I mentioned was a highly arousing situation, yet it still took me an honest three hours of sex and play to achieve climax. Part of the reason was that it was a new situation, and a new partner, and it was difficult for me to find the angle and rhythm that was going to work that time.

I've also lost some sensation since the vasectomy. Apparently it is a side effect that happens occasionally, but is rarely mentioned to the already frightened dude about to get his balls cut on.

In the end, the best tactic for me was to simply accept that my balls were going to do what they wanted to do, and just enjoy sex for sex. I get plenty out of it simply from the pleasure and emotional content. I can also safely pay attention to technique, and thus figure out how to be a better lover. By not worrying about my own climax, I am a better artist at producing them in others. So I'm not really complaining.

It can be a drag though. Many times I've masturbated and been unable to come, or have gone a week or so without being able to reach orgasm via any means. That can suck. Other people that have this problem sometimes have it far, far worse. There are men who simply cannot reach orgasm through any means but masturbation, or can't reach orgasm if someone else is in the room. It can lead to some serious back-ups in the pipes, if you will. If it is controlled though, it can lead to some very exhausted, and well-fucked, sexual partners.

 

[Marquis]

Anyway, it's called Retarded Ejaculation. The long and short of it is that it is difficult for me to climax. My penis will just sometimes lose feeling. It sounds weird, but I can't describe it any other way. The sensations get farther and farther away until I feel.. something, and it is vaguely pleasurable, but it is not what you would usually feel when fucking. It can get pretty bad, sometimes to the point where I'm all but numb.

It goes hand in glove with dominance though, as one of the fixes is having total control over position, tempo, force, etc. If even the tiniest thing is off, I won't come sometimes. And arousal levels don't always matter. For example, the first threesome I mentioned was a highly arousing situation, yet it still took me an honest three hours of sex and play to achieve climax. Part of the reason was that it was a new situation, and a new partner, and it was difficult for me to find the angle and rhythm that was going to work that time.

I've also lost some sensation since the vasectomy. Apparently it is a side effect that happens occasionally, but is rarely mentioned to the already frightened dude about to get his balls cut on.

In the end, the best tactic for me was to simply accept that my balls were going to do what they wanted to do, and just enjoy sex for sex. I get plenty out of it simply from the pleasure and emotional content. I can also safely pay attention to technique, and thus figure out how to be a better lover. By not worrying about my own climax, I am a better artist at producing them in others. So I'm not really complaining.

It can be a drag though. Many times I've masturbated and been unable to come, or have gone a week or so without being able to reach orgasm via any means. That can suck. Other people that have this problem sometimes have it far, far worse. There are men who simply cannot reach orgasm through any means but masturbation, or can't reach orgasm if someone else is in the room. It can lead to some serious back-ups in the pipes, if you will. If it is controlled though, it can lead to some very exhausted, and well-fucked, sexual partners.

That is super interesting.

So, do you have trouble keeping hard, or just cumming? Like, do you get hard and can't cum?

I have trouble getting hard when I'm not control of the situation, which has made it very difficult to enjoy threesomes. It seems that the girls want me to be ready whenever they are, grateful to be in the situation in the first place. If I do gain some control and some comfort, I lose my erections just as easily if that changes.

I can't say I necessarily have trouble cumming though, certainly not with masturbation.

 

[BiBunny]

At that point, each one gets fucked good and hard for a bit and is usually not unhappy with the rest they get when I move to the other.

This is honestly THE only way to play it without one person feeling awkwardly like the third wheel. It also helps if everyone has a bit of voyeur and/or exhibitionist in him/her.

I have had tons of MFF threesomes. I've had exactly two MFM threesomes. (That is going to change soon, somehow or another.) So most of my experience is MFF, obviously.

There is no worse feeling in the entire world than just lying there watching the other two people ignore you. Of course, in my situation now, I don't mind being tied up and watching Master and Mistress have sex, but they aren't exactly "ignoring" me.

So it's good if you can figure out ways to incorporate all three people at once without making the third person look like an afterthought.

 

[Marquis]

Yeah, well sometimes the third person needs to relax when they're not involved, enjoy the view, maybe play with themselves, and not sit there having a silent tantrum.

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, well sometimes the third person needs to relax when they're not involved, enjoy the view, maybe play with themselves, and not sit there having a silent tantrum.

MFF he was the dessert and knew it, we were pretty much there for one another. I think MFF in which this is NOT the case is something I won't touch with a 200 ft stick. Drama lama stampede.

FFF: I love the notion of being the dessert and the object of amusement du jour for an established F/F couple. Seriously, I am FINE as a service top in this case. The problem is that lesbians have to process every single fart that emanates from someone's ass as a generality I've learned being around that community. If two women could just invite me in, have me do mean things to them while they hump each others' legs, maybe fuck each as the other watches, and then kiss me as I leave, I'd be in seventh heaven. Hell, the fucking is even optional, I don't care that much. I just want to put my fingers in pussy and whack some jiggly girl ass. Why can it not be that simple?

MMF: this works best in my personal experience. I have one established butch/alpha who is completely unthreatened by the rest and the non-butch ones are way more into everyone being happy than the jealousy gene. Everyone involved has enough voyeurism to get off. I'd rather play with myself watching guys having sex than have PIV sex with most people anyway.

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, well sometimes the third person needs to relax when they're not involved, enjoy the view, maybe play with themselves, and not sit there having a silent tantrum.

This will happen with people for whom sex can just be some fucking sex.

 

[BiBunny]

Yeah, well sometimes the third person needs to relax when they're not involved, enjoy the view, maybe play with themselves, and not sit there having a silent tantrum.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, either. But I've been in some situations where it was made patently obvious that I was only there because I was fulfilling some straight dude's fantasy of watching me and another girl play. After his dick got involved, I was promptly pushed aside and ignored. That's awkward.

Eh, everything I've said in this thread makes me sound like more of an attention whore than I really am. I love just watching. It's when the other parties are throwing off this "we don't really need you anymore" vibe is when it's annoying, to say the least.

 

[Netzach]

Again, the "sex can just be some fucking sex" argument comes to mind. Does no one still sport fuck? I haven't spent much time making sure the relationship with M is emotionally rock-solid because when it comes to this issue, it just is. It hasn't merited tons of discussion. It was covered the first date we had. Every time I check in it's like "of course I'm ok with that" and in a "what do you mean?" way not a grudging way.

If anything about him and his BF bugs me I say so, but honestly so little of it does. And that's not just a sexual rel. there's real love there as there is with me and T.

I sent them on vacation together, even knowing that M and I will probably not have a vacation together for 5 years at this rate. I spat up a little jealousy hairball over that, but it was quickly over.

I've never lost friendships over this, maybe because I do choose my targets really well. I've had nothing but good panting on the bed times afterward.

 

[BiBunny]

I don't have it happen now like I did when I was younger. It could have a lot to do with the fact that I'm a good bit better at picking play/sex partners now than I was 5 or 6 years ago.

Or I could just be bitchy 'cause my allergies have gone haywire.

 

[Marquis]

If two women could just invite me in, have me do mean things to them while they hump each others' legs, maybe fuck each as the other watches, and then kiss me as I leave, I'd be in seventh heaven. Hell, the fucking is even optional, I don't care that much. I just want to put my fingers in pussy and whack some jiggly girl ass. Why can it not be that simple?

I don't know Netz, I just don't know.

All I really want is for everyone to be happy at the end. Obviously I have my preferences and ideas of how I'd like it to go, but I like wacking some jiggly girl ass, period. Give me an ass wack and a smile over a new fuck and a weeks worth of "guess why I'm mad" any day.

 

[Netzach]

I don't know Netz, I just don't know.

All I really want is for everyone to be happy at the end. Obviously I have my preferences and ideas of how I'd like it to go, but I like wacking some jiggly girl ass, period. Give me an ass wack and a smile over a new fuck and a weeks worth of "guess why I'm mad" any day.

Seriously. It could just be that simple.

Which brings to mind the age-old question:

Fuck. Overrated?

IMO yes, in and of itself. With the magic person or persons with whom everything is always magic no, but in general, highly.

Simultaneously it's underrated. It's fun. It's aerobic. If you use prophylactics and communication you probably won't regret it. It's not that huge a deal either way.

 

[satindesire]

Hell, the fucking is even optional, I don't care that much. I just want to put my fingers in pussy and whack some jiggly girl ass. Why can it not be that simple?

You know, as 99% Sub and 1% Domme, this sounds fun to me.

I have never been involved with more than one woman at a time, and honestly, I'm terrible at picking female partners so if I had even BREATHED in the direction of another person (let alone female) while I was with either of them, I would have gotten skinned, salted, and left out to pickle.

But honestly, that sounds like a party.

 

[Netzach]

I have never been involved with more than one woman at a time, and honestly, I'm terrible at picking female partners so if I had even BREATHED in the direction of another person (let alone female) while I was with either of them, I would have gotten skinned, salted, and left out to pickle.

That! Exactly that! That's what I mean! And I know of what you speak. Better yet, is the martyr partner who pretends to go along but you've got the miserable puppy in the corner all night. OMG.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I look at group sex whether it is MFM, FMF, FFM, MFMF or my favorite MMMMF as simply a fun event. It's like a party. It works best when one person is in charge (lately my PYL) to make sure everything goes smoothly, condoms are being used etc.

I think this is a situation that can be talked about too much with a partner and over analyzed. A quick set of rules is established early in the relationship and all is well after that. I knew when I was collared that I may be shared whenever he wanted. I have never been given more than 20 minutes notice. No drama, no issues, just a fuck party.

Now OTOH, I would never do a 3some or more-some with my husband. I would be way over concerned about him having a good time. I don't worry about my PYL in that way. He will make sure he gets what he wants.

 

[satindesire]

I think this is a situation that can be talked about too much with a partner and over analyzed. A quick set of rules is established early in the relationship and all is well after that. I knew when I was collared that I may be shared whenever he wanted. I have never been given more than 20 minutes notice. No drama, no issues, just a fuck party.

That's not enough time to shave your legs and floss! What is he THINKING?!

It takes that long just for me to put on my face.

No way. It's an hour notice for me or they're getting a fuzzy-legged spinach-toothed prize.

 

[ecstaticsub]

That's not enough time to shave your legs and floss! What is he THINKING?!

It takes that long just for me to put on my face.

No way. It's an hour notice for me or they're getting a fuzzy-legged spinach-toothed prize.

LMAO! I'm already shaved and flossed for my PYL so I'm good to go.

 

[satindesire]

LMAO! I'm already shaved and flossed for my PYL so I'm good to go.

It's daily becoming more and more difficult to shave my legs.

I'm thinking about asking him to take me to get waxed instead. My belly is just way too awkward right now to be as paranoid about being hairless as I used to be, pre-bun-in-the-oven.

 

[hitmebehind]

State your fantasy. 5 words or less. Dirtier the better.

 

[Netzach]

I look at group sex whether it is MFM, FMF, FFM, MFMF or my favorite MMMMF as simply a fun event. It's like a party. It works best when one person is in charge (lately my PYL) to make sure everything goes smoothly, condoms are being used etc.

I think this is a situation that can be talked about too much with a partner and over analyzed. A quick set of rules is established early in the relationship and all is well after that. I knew when I was collared that I may be shared whenever he wanted. I have never been given more than 20 minutes notice. No drama, no issues, just a fuck party.

It's good to know someone else sees the light. You're like M in this regard, all I had to do was lay it out right away and he's been copacetic since.

I really think this may be one of those hardwiring things though, like are you straight or gay. Can you, or can you not sportfuck?

I can but it takes a lot of time to get me off my ass, the payoff has to be really solid. I don't go out to movies with most people either, so it's just more of that selective hermit thing I've got.

 

[Adakgirl]

Hey Adakgirl, I haven't posted on lit very much for some time now but wanted to let you know I've really enjoyed the posts of yours that I've read today.

You paint a truly amazing picture of a threesome here, with more comfort and sensuality than I can say I've had... and I've had a lot of threesomes. I'm trying to figure out the disconnect between what I'm doing and what I need to do to have this kind of experience.

I can't quite put my finger on it at the moment, but this sounds pretty good.

I am glad you did and thank you for the nice complement Marquis
I think I may have an idea of what you need to put your finger on in order to derive the enjoyment you are missing.

I have to think about how to word this and explain it clearly...will get back to you on that.

 

[Marquis]

Seriously. It could just be that simple.

Which brings to mind the age-old question:

Fuck. Overrated?

IMO yes, in and of itself. With the magic person or persons with whom everything is always magic no, but in general, highly.

Simultaneously it's underrated. It's fun. It's aerobic. If you use prophylactics and communication you probably won't regret it. It's not that huge a deal either way.

I feel you on this, totally.

It's especially overrated if you're already getting sex on the regular. It's only as good as the energy/vibe of the event it's packaged in.

That! Exactly that! That's what I mean! And I know of what you speak. Better yet, is the martyr partner who pretends to go along but you've got the miserable puppy in the corner all night. OMG.

Oh God, the fucking martyr partner.

Just excuse yourself and go watch some tv, really.

It's good to know someone else sees the light. You're like M in this regard, all I had to do was lay it out right away and he's been copacetic since.

I really think this may be one of those hardwiring things though, like are you straight or gay. Can you, or can you not sportfuck?

This is definitely true.

I think I may have an idea of what you need to put your finger on in order to derive the enjoyment you are missing.

If this is a pun, it's a good one.

 

[rida]

It is curious that I did not consider my other 3some/4some/group sex experience when commenting the first time on this thread. Somehow I made a difference in my mind between the first 3some, where I knew both participants (one being Hubby and one a guy I had been dating and getting to know and liked -my French Knight) and the other experiences where I basically didn't know the other participants beside Hubby/my PYL.

The big difference I think is because in the first MFM scenario, even thou physically I was the center (both M where totally straight), we were all emotionally invested in having a good shared experience. Communication between all 3 of us was very important and I'm still in touch with the other guy .

In the other situations, it was more a case of me having multiple partners sex fun for Hubby's voyeuristic entertainment. The other guys were in for their own sexual pleasure, and I was in for my sexual/submissive pleasure (even if the whole event was sexually vanilla ... sort of ...). As such once the rule of engagement had been laid out (condom all the way, F has the last word on what's going on and so forth), there was no need for any extensive talk; more of a everyone looking after their own interests.

I thought I could not do sport fucks. Yeah, I can and I enjoy them .


(Just to answer an earlier question that was posed to me: yes, I have haf FF experience too. I'm not bi, simply enjoy sex in any permutation)

I look at group sex whether it is MFM, FMF, FFM, MFMF or my favorite MMMMF as simply a fun event. It's like a party. It works best when one person is in charge (lately my PYL) to make sure everything goes smoothly, condoms are being used etc.

*snip*

Now OTOH, I would never do a 3some or more-some with my husband. I would be way over concerned about him having a good time. I don't worry about my PYL in that way. He will make sure he gets what he wants.

 

[Homburg]

That is super interesting.

So, do you have trouble keeping hard, or just cumming? Like, do you get hard and can't cum?

Generally the latter. At times, I have trouble keeping it hard if I am really getting zero felt sensation. Those times are pretty rare though, as I usually just change position, or take a break, or have her suck my cock for a while. The change in stimuli is usually enough to get sufficient felt sensation to maintain erection.

Maintaining an erection is usually the last of my worries. I am more likely to get a leg cramp, or simply get tired from fucking too long. Or I'll realise that she's having issues, and needs to rest.

I have trouble getting hard when I'm not control of the situation, which has made it very difficult to enjoy threesomes. It seems that the girls want me to be ready whenever they are, grateful to be in the situation in the first place. If I do gain some control and some comfort, I lose my erections just as easily if that changes.

I've had some issues with that in certain threesomes. It seems to happen more often in the 'threesome with friend' style, as I am processing too much without having good baseline data to compare it to. I like to build on consistency where possible, so one-time fucks can be difficult due to distractions, anxiety, etc.

I can't say I necessarily have trouble cumming though, certainly not with masturbation.

Nope, doesn't always work for me. In fact, it frequently doesn't work.

--

This is honestly THE only way to play it without one person feeling awkwardly like the third wheel. It also helps if everyone has a bit of voyeur and/or exhibitionist in him/her.

Yup, agreed. Though I have very, very little exhibitionist in me. Aside from threesomes, I can think of exactly one time that I've been watched while having sex and it didn't throw me off.

There is no worse feeling in the entire world than just lying there watching the other two people ignore you. Of course, in my situation now, I don't mind being tied up and watching Master and Mistress have sex, but they aren't exactly "ignoring" me.

We've done this a couple of times. It can be good stuff.