3-some

[Homburg]

So I'm sitting in a nightclub surrounded by people in their twenties what are much prettier than I am (being shaved bald, fat, old dude who's there as a DD for a friend), and this really cute girl sits down at the table next to me. She's there for whatever reason, I don't care, as she's making a big show of being far too cool for the club.

Anyway, I'm talking sex with another friend, she disaffectedly joins the conversation. We all chat a bit and the topic of threesomes comes up. She starts in with the party line of communicatecommunicate and how it won't fix problems. I recognise that it is BS, and start talking physical mechanics. She starts out looking at me like I'm lying through my teeth. Watching the light of comprehension dawn in her eyes was worth the price of admission to the club, the loud-ass music, and exposure to inane drunkards. When she started lightly biting her lip and squirming in her seat, yeah, my night was made.

Personally, the percentage of sexually active folks what have been in threesomes is probably well below 50%. The percentage of kinky people what have done it is certainly likely to be higher than the normative types, but is probably not likely to approach 50% either. Too many people have trouble getting even one partner in bed, let alone two.

 

[liz222]

3 somes

with two straight men 3-somes are the greatest. It always makes me feel like a queen and certainly satifies the body.

 

[Marquis]

I agree with your post. I think the comfortable thing is important I want my man concentrating on me not the other woman....

Sounds pretty standard.

Well that is NOT what enjoying a threesome is all about. If you want him concentrating on you...then u will be sorely disappointed. Why would he do that when he has a new sexually exciting, unexplored, woman in bed with him and you? That makes no sense and you can't realistically expect him to do that. Also that would make the other woman feel left out and neglected.

The basics of having a good threesome is that ALL three of you share with each other, you touch each other and pleasure each other in your own special ways, at the same time...and then...switch and mix it up too. It is not about you and him or him and her or her and you or both of you doing him, or both of you doing each other with him on the sidelines.

It is about the three of you arousing each other, getting each other hot, the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure. A good way to start the fun is a three way shower, wash and relax one another, then move to good comfortable surroundings with the stage set. Candles glowing, low sexy music that will play on for hours, scented oils burning, plenty of pillows and soft things to sit, kneel, and lay on. A bottle of wine, perhaps two, with glasses right there...but don't let anyone get drunk, you want to feel all of this and not have your senses numbed and you don't want anyone passing out.,

Make sure there will be no interruptions, ph off hook, cell phns off, note on door saying do not disturb. slow, sensuous touch, massage, kissing, licking, nibbling, rubbing, stroking, sucking....talking dirty...or doing things like feeding each other cold fruit and or pouring good tasting things on one another then licking it off..you get the picture?

This is an event you want to plan out to make it as enjoyable to all involved as you can. DO NOT get all jealous or feel "your man" is giving her all the attention...you both give her all the attention and while doing so, give it to each other too. You understand what I mean?

Hey Adakgirl, I haven't posted on lit very much for some time now but wanted to let you know I've really enjoyed the posts of yours that I've read today.

You paint a truly amazing picture of a threesome here, with more comfort and sensuality than I can say I've had... and I've had a lot of threesomes. I'm trying to figure out the disconnect between what I'm doing and what I need to do to have this kind of experience.

I can't quite put my finger on it at the moment, but this sounds pretty good.

Yup. I second this. I have had MMF and FFM. Some were amazing, some were...meh, so-so. In all but one case, I'd have to say the "after" was not really worth the "during". The one case that was the exception was between me and two friends and none of us were romantically involved. Still, there was some residual awkwardness.

Yes, there does tend to be some residual awkwardness, doesn't there? People are greedy and insecure. Ultimately it all comes down to what Stag was saying about being in the middle. Everyone thinks they're happy to share but the truth is they're all secretly trying to figure out ways to be a little more in the middle than everyone else. And what happens during is hardly as important as what happens after.

Do you feel in the "middle" next week when the three of you are getting coffee? Then you're fine, if not, big problems.

No baby, I'm merely speaking from an unfortunately seasoned swinging perspective. For years I dealt with my now-ex wanting threesomes constantly, and although I wasn't altogether comfortable with them, I did them to please him. It ended up being one of the reasons I fell out of love with him. No matter what I tried to do to make him understand that I wasn't enjoying myself and didn't want to, he made it pretty clear that it was that or he was throwing me out. At that time, I valued his love more than I valued my own self-esteem, so I dealt with it the best I could.

Boundaries and compromise are necessary in a relationship, and he wanted me to have neither.

Thus, the ex title. *grim smile*

What's all this now?

I thought you were dating a guy that didn't like sex?

Had plenty of (Mff) threesomes. Not really sure I can give too much advice though, as mine were a bit different than what it sounds like you are discussing, as they were mostly part of existing poly Mff relationships.

Share your experiences Homburg, I've wanted to hear about them anyway.

Oddly; I don't fantasize about threesomes overly much.

I think that goes back to my long term assumption/ fear that i'd end up the extra wheel in a threesome.

I've dreamt about it a couple of times, and in my dreams it was pretty cool.

In one I was blindfolded and lightly bound (as the "middle").

In most of my dreams concerning threesomes though, there was no middle, but more of a mutual continuum of pleasure, like Adakgirl described.

The two i've had IRL.... to be as kind and obscure as possible; Kinda meh.

Extra wheel in a threesome is a pretty uncomfortable place to be. Been there more than once myself.

On the other hand, I've been too intensely in the middle as well, where the girls hate each other, are not cooperating and trying to tear you in two.

 

[Keroin]

Yes, there does tend to be some residual awkwardness, doesn't there? People are greedy and insecure. Ultimately it all comes down to what Stag was saying about being in the middle. Everyone thinks they're happy to share but the truth is they're all secretly trying to figure out ways to be a little more in the middle than everyone else. And what happens during is hardly as important as what happens after.

Do you feel in the "middle" next week when the three of you are getting coffee? Then you're fine, if not, big problems.

Nice to meet you Marquis.

I think most of the awkwardness in my situations came from youth and a lack of self-confidence/esteem all around. If I were to participate in a ménage a trois at this point in my life, I imagine it would be far more satisfying. But the dilemma is, who would I be involved with? I’d want to be close enough to my partners to have a high level of trust and communication but not so close that if things got “weird” I’d risk losing a friend. Seems impossible but then who knows? It is a thought I have been entertaining, to be quite honest.

Actually, the idea of being with two other partners and quite literally being the third wheel – ie, only being allowed to watch and not participate, or participate in a limited capacity – is beyond hot for me. That would drive my chronic overachieving personality mad. What exquisite torture!

Seriously, I think successful threesomes require a lack of jealousy and a healthy does of self-esteem from all partners.

 

[satindesire]

What's all this now?

I thought you were dating a guy that didn't like sex?

My husband enjoys sex, he just doesn't share my libido. We don't have sex nearly as much as I'd love to...because he shags like a demon when we DO have sex and it makes me want it more. *sigh*

My EX was the one who pressured me into threesomes, not my current beau.

 

[Marquis]

Nice to meet you Marquis.

I think most of the awkwardness in my situations came from youth and a lack of self-confidence/esteem all around. If I were to participate in a ménage a trois at this point in my life, I imagine it would be far more satisfying. But the dilemma is, who would I be involved with? I’d want to be close enough to my partners to have a high level of trust and communication but not so close that if things got “weird” I’d risk losing a friend. Seems impossible but then who knows? It is a thought I have been entertaining, to be quite honest.

Actually, the idea of being with two other partners and quite literally being the third wheel – ie, only being allowed to watch and not participate, or participate in a limited capacity – is beyond hot for me. That would drive my chronic overachieving personality mad. What exquisite torture!

Seriously, I think successful threesomes require a lack of jealousy and a healthy does of self-esteem from all partners.

That's a tall order, really.

I've thought about the dynamic you're describing often. The perfect people to three-way with. It's very hard to come up with. I've recently started to think perhaps four-ways are the way to go.

My husband enjoys sex, he just doesn't share my libido. We don't have sex nearly as much as I'd love to...because he shags like a demon when we DO have sex and it makes me want it more. *sigh*

My EX was the one who pressured me into threesomes, not my current beau.

I see, ok, it's been a while.

Congrats on your marriage. I think the better sex less often thing can be a good deal. To the contrary, I am fucking constantly, each session more meaningless and forgettable than the last.

 

[satindesire]

I see, ok, it's been a while.

Congrats on your marriage. I think the better sex less often thing can be a good deal. To the contrary, I am fucking constantly, each session more meaningless and forgettable than the last.

I'm just going to pretend you didn't call me anything in that other thread so we can continue our lovely conversation here, okay hun?

Thank you! We've been together for a long time, and it's nice to finally feel like I met someone I can be myself with and someone I can truly trust. He's a really spectacular guy and I'm really, really blessed to have his love. He could be with anyone he wanted, honestly, and he picked me...that makes me feel good.

I see where you're coming from, I really do, and I would hate to be in your position where sex was completely empty. Are you not in a good place in your relationship right now? Are you IN a relationship right now? I know that you had a split with one of your subs not too long ago, but I didn't see the entire story...I apologize for that, I went on a Lit hiatus for a long time and haven't caught up with everyone yet.

I think that the fact that we're having good sex when we DO have sex makes it easier to deal with. I'm not an easy woman to please, sexually, but he always puts in fantastic effort and is endlessly patient and caring, and always enthusiastic when he IS in the mood, and that comforts me too. It's just his testosterone, I'm guessing? Hormones, probably?

It probably wouldn't be so bad RIGHT NOW if I wasn't pregnant and feeling really huge. I know it's just emotional baby stuff right now, feeling unattractive and fat and gross, I know in my HEAD that he still thinks I look sexy.

 

[Marquis]

What if he doesn't think you look sexy?

Could you live with that, for a few more months?

 

[satindesire]

What if he doesn't think you look sexy?

Could you live with that, for a few more months?

Hm. Well, honestly, no.

I think that any man that wants a baby as badly as he does will naturally think his pregnant wife/girlfriend will still look sexy. It comes with the territory.

ETA: If anything, he's told me more in the last five months that I'm beautiful...than he ever has, come to think of it.

I think it's the gigantic boobs. *laughs*

 

[intothewoods]

To the contrary, I am fucking constantly, each session more meaningless and forgettable than the last.

LMAO. Unless you were being serious.


*****
My current fantasy is to be tied up, blindfolded and made to listen to him get off with someone else.

Fantasy. I don't think we could do it anytime soon.

Oh, and the threesome I had once was...odd.

 

[intothewoods]

Hm. Well, honestly, no.

I think that any man that wants a baby as badly as he does will naturally think his pregnant wife/girlfriend will still look sexy. It comes with the territory.

ETA: If anything, he's told me more in the last five months that I'm beautiful...than he ever has, come to think of it.

I think it's the gigantic boobs. *laughs*

Men's feelings about sex and the mother of their kids can be complicated, even amongst the most enlightened or just plain hot for preggo male.

 

[Marquis]

Hm. Well, honestly, no.

I think that any man that wants a baby as badly as he does will naturally think his pregnant wife/girlfriend will still look sexy. It comes with the territory.

ETA: If anything, he's told me more in the last five months that I'm beautiful...than he ever has, come to think of it.

I think it's the gigantic boobs. *laughs*

Could be he's more into threesomes than you think.

 

[satindesire]

Could be he's more into threesomes than you think.

No, trust me. I've tried talking to him about that and he's just not into it.

And that's a little mean, don't you think? Why are you implying that there's something wrong with our sex life?

Men's feelings about sex and the mother of their kids can be complicated, even amongst the most enlightened or just plain hot for preggo male.

His lack of sex drive has been with him his entire life. As in, way before me, and way before I was pregnant.

Me carrying his baby has nothing to do with it.

 

[Marquis]

LMAO. Unless you were being serious.

A bit serious, yes.

I'm going through a period of doubting my sexual prowess. I am a selfish and cantankerous bastard, shameless in my demands for service, 'tis true, and I have oft won the affection of those who are into that. But other than that, I have a small penis that doesn't get or stay hard especially easily, I don't eat pussy or engage in much of any kind of foreplay whatsoever.

My current fantasy is to be tied up, blindfolded and made to listen to him get off with someone else.

Fantasy. I don't think we could do it anytime soon.

That's a pretty hot fantasy.

 

[Marquis]

No, trust me. I've tried talking to him about that and he's just not into it.

And that's a little mean, don't you think? Why are you implying that there's something wrong with our sex life?

No darling, I was making a pregnancy joke in very poor taste.

Go have some ice cream.

His lack of sex drive has been with him his entire life. As in, way before me, and way before I was pregnant.

Me carrying his baby has nothing to do with it.

I think it's not just libido, but also what you do with it. Just as there are people who are anal retentive or anal expulsive, I think there are people who are semen retentive and semen expulsive. Doesn't necessarily mean they have less going into production, just that it gets shipped out in different package sizes and frequency.

 

[satindesire]

No darling, I was making a pregnancy joke in very poor taste.

Go have some ice cream.

Fuck you. Low fat/sugar diet. No ice cream allowed.

I think it's not just libido, but also what you do with it. Just as there are people who are anal retentive or anal expulsive, I think there are people who are semen retentive and semen expulsive. Doesn't necessarily mean they have less going into production, just that it gets shipped out in different package sizes and frequency.

I'm just really glad that we do other things for my orgasm when he's not feeling up to intercourse. I think that's pretty fair.

It's way easier for a woman to still have sex when she's not in the mood. She doesn't require an erection, so men have the short end of the stick...mind the pun...when it comes to that situation.

I sometimes miss actual penis-in-vagina intercourse, you know what I mean? The intimacy and closeness can't really be replicated by other means of getting me off, like oral and toys and fingering, etc.

 

[Marquis]

I'm just really glad that we do other things for my orgasm when he's not feeling up to intercourse. I think that's pretty fair.

Fair?

That's beatific!

 

[satindesire]

Fair?

That's beatific!

I do the same for him.

 

[intothewoods]

His lack of sex drive has been with him his entire life. As in, way before me, and way before I was pregnant.

Me carrying his baby has nothing to do with it.

I got you. I was making a general comment. I have no idea how it will play out for you guys. There are plenty of guys who find pregnant women ridiculously hot. It's not that so much as that your post just reminded me that women have complicated feelings about sex after they have a baby, and I think men do too. That's all.

A bit serious, yes.

I'm going through a period of doubting my sexual prowess. I am a selfish and cantankerous bastard, shameless in my demands for service, 'tis true, and I have oft won the affection of those who are into that. But other than that, I have a small penis that doesn't get or stay hard especially easily, I don't eat pussy or engage in much of any kind of foreplay whatsoever.

That's a pretty hot fantasy.

I came across this fantasy in mhy head by an odd combination of events and inspiration. Did you watch Battlestar Gallactica? There was a scene in which what I describe basically happens. Was kind of an oh shit ding ding ding moment in my head.

 

[Marquis]

I do the same for him.

I should certainly hope so.

 

[satindesire]

I should certainly hope so.

So it's charity if he does it for me but I'm supposed to do it for him?!

I got you. I was making a general comment. I have no idea how it will play out for you guys. There are plenty of guys who find pregnant women ridiculously hot. It's not that so much as that your post just reminded me that women have complicated feelings about sex after they have a baby, and I think men do too. That's all.

Oh, okay!

 

[Marquis]

So it's charity if he does it for me but I'm supposed to do it for him?!

Yes sweetie, that's why I'm here.

 

[Laster]

I was a stripper when we got married and we have always been very open about sex. We have been married 26 years and we have had many MFM 3somes.

We are always together and I love my husband.
The other guy is just there for sex.

 

[satindesire]

Yes sweetie, that's why I'm here.

I forgot. I apologize. I'mma go mark it in my journal now.

 

[Homburg]

Share your experiences Homburg, I've wanted to hear about them anyway.

Three broad categories - threesomes involving my first poly relationship, threesomes with friends, and threesomes involving my current poly relationship.

The first poly relationship was also my first threesome. The first was quite hot, as, well, it was my first. Both girls were a bit drunk, and it was largely me swap-fucking them. I was the middle, and markedly so. These threesomes were exciting and satisfying largely because they were pure fantasy fodder, as I'd not done it before. In retrospect, there were so many issues with that relationship, and the threesomes, that the sessions would in no way satisfy me now. Hindsight, as always, is 20/20.

Threesomes with friends were entertaining. I was not quite so much in the middle there. Sometimes the friend was the middle, sometimes viv was. I'm just not really wired for casual sex, so it was not what it could be. I honestly prefer sex in committed relationships.

Threesomes in my current relationship are the best. Yeah yeah, I know, of course I'd say that, right? It's true though. We're all really comfortable with each other, so the foreplay includes a lot of fun and laughing generally. Swap-fucking is pretty common, as I usually initiate a threesome when I am feeling particularly ravenous, and just want a lot. At that point, each one gets fucked good and hard for a bit and is usually not unhappy with the rest they get when I move to the other. Once we get into the swing of things, the
girls usually play with each other (sometimes on their own, sometimes at my direction). Occasionally, I will just have the girls play, and I will insert myself when and where I feel like. Those can be a lot of fun, and are usually more laid back.

The key for me is managing expectations. I know what I expect, and know what they expect, and I juggle those levels of need and want. I am explicitly in control of the situation, and thus feel it is my responsibility to play the overall scene as such. That means not focusing entirely on one partner, regardless of how much I may want to just hammer away until I climax. It usually means that I am touching the other person, kissing, rubbing, fingering, etc while fucking my current target.

Fortunately, given my special issues with ejaculation, I can last as long as I want to, and don't really mind if I don't reach orgasm. This takes a lot of pressure off of everyone, and we can all focus on just having a good time and enjoying each other. And given our power structure, I am technically going to be the middle in general. Again, the defined role resolves many issues, and removes some of the stress.

Between my sexual dysfunction, and uncommon relationship structure, I didn't really feel like my experiences were all that useful for the usual person.

--

Men's feelings about sex and the mother of their kids can be complicated, even amongst the most enlightened or just plain hot for preggo male.

It freaked me out. Could not shake the fear that I might hurt the baby. It didn't matter that the doc told me that I wouldn't hurt the baby, that articles said I wouldn't, that websites said I wouldn't. I couldn't shake that feeling, so performance was sporadic at best, especially towards the third trimester.