3-some

[hitmebehind]

So my one guy friend and I were talking about 3somes the other day. How arousing this is it for men? I have always been open to the idea, my past has some experiences of it, how do you approach this subject with your current man? Are any men turned off by this?

Feeling good, ready to rumble

 

[FurryFury]

I'd say the majority of men are probably turned on by it, at least as a fantasy, provided the mix is M/F/F.

 

[Myskaninen]

I would say for most guys it depends on if its a ffm or fmm kind of threesome

me I only had fmm but it was nice so ...

 

[hitmebehind]

I can see that ---as far as 2 females one male. Man just thinking about it gets me turned on.

 

[hitmebehind]

I just masturbated to this idea in my mind. Tell me your best story. let's share.

 

[Adakgirl]

Threesomes have been going on for ages upon ages and are very common throughout the world I think. Nothing THAT kinky about having threesomes ...as far as I am concerned. I thought it was a well known fact that a majority of men fantasize about having 2 women in a threesome, and many do play that fantasy out and for as many times as possible too. They spend a lot time thinking about it and quite a bit of effort trying to arrange it to happen I know that.
Years ago my bs gf and her fiance asked me to have one with them right before they got married and then a week or so later, she got his best friend and him for a night with her too. They both wanted to do that before they got married cuz both had always fantasized about it. Both experiences were better than they imagined and more.

I think it's important for both partners to feel secure in their relationship together as well as comfortable and relaxed around the third person before trying this out tho.

 

[hitmebehind]

I agree with your post. I think the comfortable thing is important I want my man concentrating on me not the other woman....

 

[hitmebehind]

So if women are open to a male and two females. Why are men not as open to two men and one female?

 

[FurryFury]

Fear.

 

[ted_cinti]

had several friends who where realy ready when I sugguested a 3 some...they all loved it...

 

[Bandit58]

Fear.

*grin* When Sir was younger He used to have a lot of group sex. Of course when there are lots of naked bodies of both sexes around you are going to come into contact with other people's bits, especially if there's a DP happening Sir is as straight as a man can be, but the prospect of accidentally touching another guy's dick wasn't a problem to Him. If a guy made an advance to Him He would politely decline. No dramas at all

The reason we don't do FMM is 1) He has no desire to see me with another man and 2) I don't want another man even if Sir is there. I'm bi so I love to play with other women especially if He's watching We have some rules when He plays with her mainly for my comfort level but these are slowly evolving as we do this more and the trust level increases (it's pretty high anyway though).

I cannot stress enough that the primary relationship must be absolutely rock solid before any third parties are brought into the mix, no matter what sex they are.

 

[Adakgirl]

I agree with your post. I think the comfortable thing is important I want my man concentrating on me not the other woman....

Well that is NOT what enjoying a threesome is all about. If you want him concentrating on you...then u will be sorely disappointed. Why would he do that when he has a new sexually exciting, unexplored, woman in bed with him and you? That makes no sense and you can't realistically expect him to do that. Also that would make the other woman feel left out and neglected.

The basics of having a good threesome is that ALL three of you share with each other, you touch each other and pleasure each other in your own special ways, at the same time...and then...switch and mix it up too. It is not about you and him or him and her or her and you or both of you doing him, or both of you doing each other with him on the sidelines.

It is about the three of you arousing each other, getting each other hot, the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure. A good way to start the fun is a three way shower, wash and relax one another, then move to good comfortable surroundings with the stage set. Candles glowing, low sexy music that will play on for hours, scented oils burning, plenty of pillows and soft things to sit, kneel, and lay on. A bottle of wine, perhaps two, with glasses right there...but don't let anyone get drunk, you want to feel all of this and not have your senses numbed and you don't want anyone passing out.,

Make sure there will be no interruptions, ph off hook, cell phns off, note on door saying do not disturb. slow, sensuous touch, massage, kissing, licking, nibbling, rubbing, stroking, sucking....talking dirty...or doing things like feeding each other cold fruit and or pouring good tasting things on one another then licking it off..you get the picture?

This is an event you want to plan out to make it as enjoyable to all involved as you can. DO NOT get all jealous or feel "your man" is giving her all the attention...you both give her all the attention and while doing so, give it to each other too. You understand what I mean?

 

[Adakgirl]

So if women are open to a male and two females. Why are men not as open to two men and one female?

Ohh hell I am! bring them on! Only two u say HA!

 

[satindesire]

As with many things, sometimes threesomes are best when kept as a fantasy.

Threesomes can be relationship suicide, because most people simply do not have the balls to communicate openly about their desires, fears and boundaries, and if they go through with them without clear expectations talked about, things go wrong.

A relationship not only has to be incredibly healthy but both people have to be 100% honest about what they want and expect out of it, and this is a subject that literally needs to be TALKED TO DEATH. Every permutation has to be discussed and agreed upon, and many compromises must be made. It's a far more complex situation than most people realize.

 

[lilylicious]

My disclaimer: I have only had MFF threesomes so far, and only with people that I've known well and not been in a deeply serious committed relationships.

Because of this, I can't say exactly how this would affect a marriage. I think it could be a relationship killer, as SD notes, if BOTH parties in the relationship aren't capable of enjoying everything about the threesome. You've GOT to talk about it thoroughly before hand and voice any insecurities you might have. Actually, the fact of the matter is, if you have any insecurities, you probably have no business bringing someone else into your bed.

If you want him concentrating on you...then u will be sorely disappointed. Why would he do that when he has a new sexually exciting, unexplored, woman in bed with him and you? That makes no sense and you can't realistically expect him to do that. Also that would make the other woman feel left out and neglected.

Adakgirl is absolutely right on this point. My thought is that what could be more hot than SHARING this new sexually exciting, unexplored woman with your man?

It's been my experience though that the erotic energy that is created during a threesome tends to dull the sharp edges of what might normally be jealousy. There was no couple with an extra person, just three people enjoying and sharing each other. I didn't feel even a hint of jealousy. In fact, I found everything about him pleasing her and her pleasing him intensely erotic.

 

[Shalrath]

So if women are open to a male and two females. Why are men not as open to two men and one female?

Cos men are more interested in women??

Never tried it, would be keen for either, would prefer FMF and would quite happily "mostly" spectate and watch F & F do depraved things to each other YUMMMM. But also could be tempted by MFM, there are many possibilities to explore.

All the concerns listed above seem sensible and valid. I think keeping it as a purely sexual thing rather than a romantic one would make sense to me.

Finally, on the FMF front, maybe this would just have to be tried:

http://gloriabrame.typepad.com/inside_the_mind_of_gloria/images/18502girlsguy.jpg

 

[PoeticMusings53]

So my one guy friend and I were talking about 3somes the other day. How arousing this is it for men? I have always been open to the idea, my past has some experiences of it, how do you approach this subject with your current man? Are any men turned off by this?

Feeling good, ready to rumble

FFM is very arousing. MMF is ocassionally arousing to watch, but I probably wouldn't go for it unless it was a big fantasy for a long term partner.

 

[Keroin]

As with many things, sometimes threesomes are best when kept as a fantasy.

Threesomes can be relationship suicide, because most people simply do not have the balls to communicate openly about their desires, fears and boundaries, and if they go through with them without clear expectations talked about, things go wrong.

A relationship not only has to be incredibly healthy but both people have to be 100% honest about what they want and expect out of it, and this is a subject that literally needs to be TALKED TO DEATH. Every permutation has to be discussed and agreed upon, and many compromises must be made. It's a far more complex situation than most people realize.

Yup. I second this. I have had MMF and FFM. Some were amazing, some were...meh, so-so. In all but one case, I'd have to say the "after" was not really worth the "during". The one case that was the exception was between me and two friends and none of us were romantically involved. Still, there was some residual awkwardness.

Something else to remember is that, if things don't go well, you're potentially risking a friendship.

I will say, I'm glad I experimented when I was young(er). My friends are all so valuable now that I wouldn't dare risk losing any one of them just for some nookie nor would I want to frolic that way with a stranger.

*Miss satin, you are wise beyond your years!*

 

[satindesire]

*Miss satin, you are wise beyond your years!*

No baby, I'm merely speaking from an unfortunately seasoned swinging perspective. For years I dealt with my now-ex wanting threesomes constantly, and although I wasn't altogether comfortable with them, I did them to please him. It ended up being one of the reasons I fell out of love with him. No matter what I tried to do to make him understand that I wasn't enjoying myself and didn't want to, he made it pretty clear that it was that or he was throwing me out. At that time, I valued his love more than I valued my own self-esteem, so I dealt with it the best I could.

Boundaries and compromise are necessary in a relationship, and he wanted me to have neither.

Thus, the ex title. *grim smile*

 

[Homburg]

Had plenty of (Mff) threesomes. Not really sure I can give too much advice though, as mine were a bit different than what it sounds like you are discussing, as they were mostly part of existing poly Mff relationships.

 

[rida]

A lot of good comments have already been made, and even if it is repetitional, I'd like to add my 2 yens

I'd say that the fantasy is hot and the reality ... depends.

For some reason, all the boys & men I dated have had a fantasy of sharing me with another man in a MFM 3some. Back in college we were talking the talk but not really ready to discuss the what ifs of walking the walk. There was a half attempted MFM 3some with my then bf and his/our best male friend. It didn't work out but it didn't ruin our friendship either, although we never spoke about it.

Fast skip to now.
After much talks and little steps, Hubby and I had our first MFM 3some experience last year. It was incredibly sweet and mind blowing. It surely helped that I really like the guy we had it with, that I had seen him alone few times (we put and ad for it), and that both Hubby and I are open to the possibility of having another emotional relationship. The experience has been great, not only from a physical point of view. Both Hubby and I have learned new things about each other, and love each other a little bit more (if possible) because of it.

Like with everything, if you are looking for an outside element to FIX an existing problem in a relationship, the fix is going to create additional problems and not fix anything.

Also, if one of the two partners is eager to experience the 3some but the other is only going along not to upset the partner, chances are that problems might arise (than again the originally reluctant partner might discover that he/she likes the 3some and the original suggesting one might change his/her mind ...).

Ultimately, the secret is: communicate, communicate, communicate. Be honest, talk out what if scenarios, no matter how far fetched or improbable, and think how would you feel afterward, when all is said and done. If you will feel awkward, if it will ruin a/the friendship, and so forth. Each time you add a person, the potential issues (but also rewards) grow exponentially, even when it is casual sex/play.

 

[cooknd]

yes

I personally love watching my woman fuck,it is erotic having a mfm threesome is just as exciting for me as for her. seeing a woman in estacy is the ultimate turn on and being a part of that is even better. just make sure i get a fmf sometimes too and also some mfmf

 

[rida]

I personally love watching my woman fuck,it is erotic having a mfm threesome is just as exciting for me as for her. seeing a woman in estacy is the ultimate turn on and being a part of that is even better.

Yes, that seems to be what Hubby enjoys about sharing me with other men

 

[cooknd]

just looked at your pics i could see why he likes to watch you work, have you ever been with a girl? my wife is bi as the day is long

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

I've never had any experience with a threesome, but it has always been a concept I've had fantasies about. I wonder what percentage of sexually active people have ever had a threesome experience. I would guess it's well below 50 percent (unless you happen to live in a place like Amsterdam )

I also wonder what the most common combination of threesome genders is: MMF, FFM, FFF, or MMM? Can't think of any other possibilities -- correct me if I'm wrong.

Maybe a separate thread in the amateur photo section would be in order...