Distance Domination-Support Thread

[the captians wench]

When I'm feeling "off" about anything I write to Him. The things I write about don't necessarily have anything to do with Us but if it bothers me it keeps me from serving Him the way I should. I ramble, purging myself of fears and confusion. He always responds, sometimes telling me to just keep writing, sometimes telling me that I've said something profound! The thing is, for me at least, the very act of putting the words down helps me let go of the fear or confusion. And it pleases LM that I trust Him to understand that I don't always want it fixed but that I simply need to acknowledge the feelings so I can let go of them. It's cleansing.





I understand what you're saying. And I hope that for you it is different.

But what we have isn't sad. It's glorious.

We'd love to be able to be together. But our circumstances aren't going to change.

14 years ago, LM and I took a chance. Neither of us thought it could last. We made no promises of forever. We were going to sex and have fun in the process. Instead we found somthing we didn't know was possible. We've grown, we've learned and we consider ourselves fortunate to be together, distance and all.

We're both desperate to be together again. When we are together it's like we never parted. It's been like that for us from the very first time we touched physically.

We are devoted to one another. (He'll say that Masters are NOT devoted to their slaves ) We trust one another with all that we are. We're also doomed to a LDR.

But we won't let ourselves be sad. We focus on the positive. We managed to fall into something so amazing, so right, so intense, so natural. It's more than either of us ever dreamed of.

Celebrate, don't mourn. Our motto.

I honestly didn't mean to push my feelings onto you. I really am happy that you can find happiness and a lasting relationship this way. Really, I ment it when I said 14 years should be celebrated, LDR or no.

What I was refurring to specificly aplied to my own relationship. With our situation, there's not much holding us back other than some legal issues. I'm offically devorced (almost a year now!) I'm young, I would have company backing and there for employment if I were legally allowd to work in his country, I have no kids, no house, nothing that firmly ties me down here, and he's in a fairly simular situation minus the willingness to move and the young part (well as far as the job market is concerned, me personally I don't think 40 is old...well he's not quite 40 yet but you get the idea).

With these things in mind, if after 14 years I'm still making trips twice a year to visit him, I would really wonder where things were going. We've already hit a point where both of us feel like we should pogress, but we're not sure where the next step is. If we were in the same city, we'd be at the "let's move in together" stage, but that's not possible with out the "is she really wearing white?" stage unless the laws change, or I have missed something in my three years of looking into said imigration laws.

I'm also in my own little "mopey" period at the moment which I'm afraid will last until I hear "okay baby, you can come" and I know for sure that we will at the very least be on the same side of the ocean again. So the idea of dealing with this frustration for another 11 years is just too much for me at the moment.

Am I making any sense?

 

[LMs_ds]

I honestly didn't mean to push my feelings onto you. I really am happy that you can find happiness and a lasting relationship this way. Really, I ment it when I said 14 years should be celebrated, LDR or no.

What I was refurring to specificly aplied to my own relationship. With our situation, there's not much holding us back other than some legal issues. I'm offically devorced (almost a year now!) I'm young, I would have company backing and there for employment if I were legally allowd to work in his country, I have no kids, no house, nothing that firmly ties me down here, and he's in a fairly simular situation minus the willingness to move and the young part (well as far as the job market is concerned, me personally I don't think 40 is old...well he's not quite 40 yet but you get the idea).

With these things in mind, if after 14 years I'm still making trips twice a year to visit him, I would really wonder where things were going. We've already hit a point where both of us feel like we should pogress, but we're not sure where the next step is. If we were in the same city, we'd be at the "let's move in together" stage, but that's not possible with out the "is she really wearing white?" stage unless the laws change, or I have missed something in my three years of looking into said imigration laws.

I'm also in my own little "mopey" period at the moment which I'm afraid will last until I hear "okay baby, you can come" and I know for sure that we will at the very least be on the same side of the ocean again. So the idea of dealing with this frustration for another 11 years is just too much for me at the moment.

Am I making any sense?

(smiles) You're making perfect sense.

Everyone's circumstances are different and we all face our own difficulties. Maybe it's easier (relatively speaking) for me to deal with the LDR because I know there's not a realistic chance of us ever having more.

I know how desperate I become when I start counting the days until we're together again. It hurts physically. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for you, knowing that you can be with him but have laws and other people standing in the way.

As far as being mopey, that's not bad unless you let it pull you under and make you forget what your relationship is all about.

Just my two cents.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I honestly didn't mean to push my feelings onto you. I really am happy that you can find happiness and a lasting relationship this way. Really, I ment it when I said 14 years should be celebrated, LDR or no.

What I was refurring to specificly aplied to my own relationship. With our situation, there's not much holding us back other than some legal issues. I'm offically devorced (almost a year now!) I'm young, I would have company backing and there for employment if I were legally allowd to work in his country, I have no kids, no house, nothing that firmly ties me down here, and he's in a fairly simular situation minus the willingness to move and the young part (well as far as the job market is concerned, me personally I don't think 40 is old...well he's not quite 40 yet but you get the idea).

With these things in mind, if after 14 years I'm still making trips twice a year to visit him, I would really wonder where things were going. We've already hit a point where both of us feel like we should pogress, but we're not sure where the next step is. If we were in the same city, we'd be at the "let's move in together" stage, but that's not possible with out the "is she really wearing white?" stage unless the laws change, or I have missed something in my three years of looking into said imigration laws.

I'm also in my own little "mopey" period at the moment which I'm afraid will last until I hear "okay baby, you can come" and I know for sure that we will at the very least be on the same side of the ocean again. So the idea of dealing with this frustration for another 11 years is just too much for me at the moment.

Am I making any sense?

I totally understand what you are saying. If he and I were both in our 20's unmarried and without the responsibilities we have now than nothing could keep me from moving in with him or at least to move much much closer to him. I would think a LDR would be just a temporary situation in that case until arrangements could be made to make it permanent.

For myself and my situation I hope that someday I too could celebrate our 14 anniversary.

 

[LMs_ds]

Thank you for that reply. It helped me way more today than you will ever know.

Celebrate, not mourn. i will remember that one...i needed to hear it today.

(soft smile) I'm glad it helped.

 

[mistyrydher]

I honestly didn't mean to push my feelings onto you. I really am happy that you can find happiness and a lasting relationship this way. Really, I ment it when I said 14 years should be celebrated, LDR or no.

What I was refurring to specificly aplied to my own relationship. With our situation, there's not much holding us back other than some legal issues. I'm offically devorced (almost a year now!) I'm young, I would have company backing and there for employment if I were legally allowd to work in his country, I have no kids, no house, nothing that firmly ties me down here, and he's in a fairly simular situation minus the willingness to move and the young part (well as far as the job market is concerned, me personally I don't think 40 is old...well he's not quite 40 yet but you get the idea).

With these things in mind, if after 14 years I'm still making trips twice a year to visit him, I would really wonder where things were going. We've already hit a point where both of us feel like we should pogress, but we're not sure where the next step is. If we were in the same city, we'd be at the "let's move in together" stage, but that's not possible with out the "is she really wearing white?" stage unless the laws change, or I have missed something in my three years of looking into said imigration laws.

I'm also in my own little "mopey" period at the moment which I'm afraid will last until I hear "okay baby, you can come" and I know for sure that we will at the very least be on the same side of the ocean again. So the idea of dealing with this frustration for another 11 years is just too much for me at the moment.

Am I making any sense?

i can understand the wait on immigration, we are working on an extended visitor's visa at the moment which will allow me to stay in New Zealand for 7 months, while there i will need to apply for an extension to that visa and then IF that is approved then i will be able to apply for a residence visa which will last for two years...a never ending sea of paperwork but the only way to get me there now. Call me selfish, but i am just not build for the LDR, i am way to needy and due to our distance and the cost to travel, i cannot make multiple trips.

Due to my son turning 18 today (proud mom here) and Master having little ones, me moving to Him is the only option. *big smiles* He assured me today that even if NZ immigration denies my application this time, He is still coming to get me in 85 days to bring me back with Him, it just means i will only get to stay for 3 months and we will have to work on paperwork while i am there...or He could just tell immigration that i cannot go back cause i am a little "tied up" *giggles*

best of luck to you...i hope you get the okay to go very soon!!!!!! *hugs*

 

[the captians wench]

i can understand the wait on immigration, we are working on an extended visitor's visa at the moment which will allow me to stay in New Zealand for 7 months, while there i will need to apply for an extension to that visa and then IF that is approved then i will be able to apply for a residence visa which will last for two years...a never ending sea of paperwork but the only way to get me there now. Call me selfish, but i am just not build for the LDR, i am way to needy and due to our distance and the cost to travel, i cannot make multiple trips.

Due to my son turning 18 today (proud mom here) and Master having little ones, me moving to Him is the only option. *big smiles* He assured me today that even if NZ immigration denies my application this time, He is still coming to get me in 85 days to bring me back with Him, it just means i will only get to stay for 3 months and we will have to work on paperwork while i am there...or He could just tell immigration that i cannot go back cause i am a little "tied up" *giggles*

best of luck to you...i hope you get the okay to go very soon!!!!!! *hugs*

From what I understand of the imigration laws in Ireland, I can stay on a tourist visa using my passport for up to 90 days (but even that can be denied at the duty gate). I can aply for longer stays, but, from what I've read, I would not qualify for any of them. And it costs a non refundable $96 fee plus postage to even aply. And if I don't aply to the proper consolate, then I will only get something that tells me I'm denied because I aplied at the wrong place, they keep the money, and I don't get so much as directions on where to send it. Plus I have to send my passport with all the paperwork, and it could take up to 90 days for them to make a decition, and I kind of need my passport from time to time to beable to travel. *tounge twisting sigh*

I have looked into every visa they offer. The only thing I could do now is hire an imigration lawer and hope that he knows something that I over looked...again throwing $$$$ at the problem.

The other solution is to get married and then I would have the rights of a spouce of a citizen. But I'm not a huge fan of jumping into another marriage too soon, and I kind of need to know that he's doing it because he wants to marry me, not because it's the only way to get me there.

And option 3 is to keep this up until I qualify for my sabatical and then I'll be able to spend most of the year with him, with one large chunk and other bits at a time. (10 week sabatical plus my regular earned vacation of 4 weeks, plus 2 comp weeks.)

I'm just very egar to be done with this whole "visit" ordeal and move on to the "you are home" part. Visits can be such an emotional roller coaster.

 

[mistyrydher]

From what I understand of the imigration laws in Ireland, I can stay on a tourist visa using my passport for up to 90 days (but even that can be denied at the duty gate). I can aply for longer stays, but, from what I've read, I would not qualify for any of them. And it costs a non refundable $96 fee plus postage to even aply. And if I don't aply to the proper consolate, then I will only get something that tells me I'm denied because I aplied at the wrong place, they keep the money, and I don't get so much as directions on where to send it. Plus I have to send my passport with all the paperwork, and it could take up to 90 days for them to make a decition, and I kind of need my passport from time to time to beable to travel. *tounge twisting sigh*

I have looked into every visa they offer. The only thing I could do now is hire an imigration lawer and hope that he knows something that I over looked...again throwing $$$$ at the problem.

The other solution is to get married and then I would have the rights of a spouce of a citizen. But I'm not a huge fan of jumping into another marriage too soon, and I kind of need to know that he's doing it because he wants to marry me, not because it's the only way to get me there.

And option 3 is to keep this up until I qualify for my sabatical and then I'll be able to spend most of the year with him, with one large chunk and other bits at a time. (10 week sabatical plus my regular earned vacation of 4 weeks, plus 2 comp weeks.)

I'm just very egar to be done with this whole "visit" ordeal and move on to the "you are home" part. Visits can be such an emotional roller coaster.

wow...i guess i am lucky then cause NZ immigration appears to be a little easier and there is no fees since i am a US citizen *hugs you tight* i wish you all the best in finding a way. i only had one visit and it tore me up, i cannot imagine having to repeat that. i admire you for being strong enough to keep this up.

my divorce was just final in December and His won't be until November so i agree with you on jumping into marriage, we have talked about it and while i love Him dearly, i am just not ready to take that step and thankfully, He agrees.

Have you tried calling Ireland's Embassy or Consulate? That is how MP found out that He could sponsor me for the extended visa. The original paperwork we sent in was returned and denied because we are not "living in a relationship"

Best of luck to you and hang in there, love always finds a way!!!!

*big hugs*

 

[the captians wench]

wow...i guess i am lucky then cause NZ immigration appears to be a little easier and there is no fees since i am a US citizen *hugs you tight* i wish you all the best in finding a way. i only had one visit and it tore me up, i cannot imagine having to repeat that. i admire you for being strong enough to keep this up.

my divorce was just final in December and His won't be until November so i agree with you on jumping into marriage, we have talked about it and while i love Him dearly, i am just not ready to take that step and thankfully, He agrees.

Have you tried calling Ireland's Embassy or Consulate? That is how MP found out that He could sponsor me for the extended visa. The original paperwork we sent in was returned and denied because we are not "living in a relationship"

Best of luck to you and hang in there, love always finds a way!!!!

*big hugs*

I looked into contacting my consulate. I found out that: they do not accept emails on this subject, my designated consulate is in Chicago, so if I set an appointment it would at the very least be a day trip (and a long ass one at that!), and if I call it's $1.99 a minute.

It would apear that Ireland just wants us to spend our money and then get the hell out of thier country!

Sponcership would make it easier if I were to aply for an extention of my 90 day visa that I can get with my passport. That would be done directly in Dublin, and I could have multible sponcers which would also help. The problem is, I would not qualify to work, which would be a huge strain and one I'm just not willing to put him thru after being in one marriage where money was extreamly tight and feeling first hand the hardship that puts on a relationship.

So we'll keep this up for now. I know eventually we'll be closer, until then the distance will help strengthen us.

 

[Mistress_Belladonna]

It's really wonderful to hear that things can work out for some people! Not exactly the way you want, but still... it's good to feel loved, isn't it?

Best of luck!

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I think I am slowly going nuts. Daddy and I are at our first 6 months and as strong as ever but our home lives are conspiring against us. We both have spouses and of course that side of our lives have to be put first but sometimes its so difficult, I just want to throw a tantrum and be selfish occasionally.

We agreed from day one that family HAS to come first and that rule has never changed but currently his wife is awaiting test results and diagnosis on what can only be truly described as possible cancer and Mr Vanilla at my end is currently not working due to stress. Our net result is that our time is now at a minimum.

I hate it, I miss him SO much its like a chinese burn that never goes away, I'm not sleeping, I am tearful constantly and am so needy that even I am getting on my own nerves.

He is so good with me, so patient. We have stolen moments, when he can phone me for 5 minutes and I would not be without it for one second, but the pain when we hang up lasts for hours. I know he misses me too, and his texts keep me sane, but we both know we cannot afford to be in touch as much as we want to, as Wenchie says, Ireland is a damned expensive place to be.

I have 17 days until I go 'Home' for the first time. I know its going to be frightening and nerve wracking then 3 days later, heartbreaking but I am so excited I could pee lol. We would love to find a way to be together for good but at the moment home life on both sides of the great divide don't allow for it.

Everyone in here at the moment seems content and happy, sorry if I have brought the mood down somewhat, but I am bloody miserable and aside from in here, I can't tell anyone else.

 

[the captians wench]

I think I am slowly going nuts. Daddy and I are at our first 6 months and as strong as ever but our home lives are conspiring against us. We both have spouses and of course that side of our lives have to be put first but sometimes its so difficult, I just want to throw a tantrum and be selfish occasionally.

We agreed from day one that family HAS to come first and that rule has never changed but currently his wife is awaiting test results and diagnosis on what can only be truly described as possible cancer and Mr Vanilla at my end is currently not working due to stress. Our net result is that our time is now at a minimum.

I hate it, I miss him SO much its like a chinese burn that never goes away, I'm not sleeping, I am tearful constantly and am so needy that even I am getting on my own nerves.

He is so good with me, so patient. We have stolen moments, when he can phone me for 5 minutes and I would not be without it for one second, but the pain when we hang up lasts for hours. I know he misses me too, and his texts keep me sane, but we both know we cannot afford to be in touch as much as we want to, as Wenchie says, Ireland is a damned expensive place to be.

I have 17 days until I go 'Home' for the first time. I know its going to be frightening and nerve wracking then 3 days later, heartbreaking but I am so excited I could pee lol. We would love to find a way to be together for good but at the moment home life on both sides of the great divide don't allow for it.

Everyone in here at the moment seems content and happy, sorry if I have brought the mood down somewhat, but I am bloody miserable and aside from in here, I can't tell anyone else.

Damn expencive is spot on! Now all of the phone companies here are charging the higher rate to call Irish mobile numbers, insted of just one company. So I used to buy a phone card for $30 and get 600 minutes for it, now I buy a phone card for $30 and get 178 minutes. So I've spent bookoo moneys this past month on phone cards, money I should have been saving. Now I'm praying that the store manager is right and we did bonus on at least 2 of the 4 sections.

As a side note, I think vontage has the solution for us. I can buy it here and set it up here with a local number for me, then ship it off to him. Then we can call each other locally using that phone. I know there are other VoIPs out there, but if he had the computer on then we'd be IMing so any one that requires the computer to be on in order to use just is not practical for us. Vontage connects to the internet, not the computer, and uses a regular phone, so it seems like the best way to go. And it's $25 a month (after the first three months of $9.99, but if you have a refural {which I do} then you get the first 3 months free) which is almost what I'm spending a week at the moment.

But no Fiona, you're not the only mopey one around here. I fear I've been a bit of a dark cloud rather than my normal Miss Sunshine. I'm still waiting for the okay to come next month. and I am still a few days from the point when I decided it would be okay to ask him about it.

 

[mistyrydher]

Damn expencive is spot on! Now all of the phone companies here are charging the higher rate to call Irish mobile numbers, insted of just one company. So I used to buy a phone card for $30 and get 600 minutes for it, now I buy a phone card for $30 and get 178 minutes. So I've spent bookoo moneys this past month on phone cards, money I should have been saving. Now I'm praying that the store manager is right and we did bonus on at least 2 of the 4 sections.

As a side note, I think vontage has the solution for us. I can buy it here and set it up here with a local number for me, then ship it off to him. Then we can call each other locally using that phone. I know there are other VoIPs out there, but if he had the computer on then we'd be IMing so any one that requires the computer to be on in order to use just is not practical for us. Vontage connects to the internet, not the computer, and uses a regular phone, so it seems like the best way to go. And it's $25 a month (after the first three months of $9.99, but if you have a refural {which I do} then you get the first 3 months free) which is almost what I'm spending a week at the moment.

But no Fiona, you're not the only mopey one around here. I fear I've been a bit of a dark cloud rather than my normal Miss Sunshine. I'm still waiting for the okay to come next month. and I am still a few days from the point when I decided it would be okay to ask him about it.

i did not know that about vontage...He found that he could assign a Colorado number to His computer through Yahoo for like $60 NZD a year and when i call him from my phone it is a local call for me and He talks to me through His headset. It helps when i am at work or when He is tucking me into bed at night. To bad we found it out after an $800 phone bill...but live and learn. LOL

i agree with you and Fiona, the past few days have been real hard. It doesn't help that i still live with my ex and he is grumpy. The time change has caused a serious limit on time with MP and all i ever seem to say these days "i miss You, mine"...i feel so damn needy but i can't seem to help it.

thank for letting me ramble *hugs to all*

 

[myinnerslut]

im in the house right now by myself. for the first time. ever. Master or viv or the kids were always around. its weird, but i dont feel out of place. i actually feel pretty content. i dont have the "tiptoe around somebody elses place so as not to disturb anything" vibe. im just hear. its comfortable.

 

[Adakgirl]

I am glad to hear you are comfortable and relaxed for the 1st time ever in their home. Seeing as how you will be moving in with them after your done with school, (right?) you really need to lose that "tiptoeing around, don't disturb any thing or anybody" state of mind anyway.

You could probably knock over the china cabinet in the middle of the night and break everything in it and it would not bother viv or your master a bit. I am sure they would not change the way they feel about you if you did disturb things in their home and in fact...are most likely waiting for you to finally let go, make yourself at home and act like you are a part of the family and not a quest anymore.

 

[Homburg]

You could probably knock over the china cabinet in the middle of the night and break everything in it and it would not bother viv or your master a bit. I am sure they would not change the way they feel about you if you did disturb things in their home and in fact...are most likely waiting for you to finally let go, make yourself at home and act like you are a part of the family and not a quest anymore.

This is true. Though I don't really feel like she's a guest any more. I think she's home.

I'd rather not see the china cabinet knocked over though. It would be a serious mess.

 

[the captians wench]

coping:

I know there are a few of us right now that are dealing with unusual conditions with in our relationships that are forcing us to have even more limited time together than usual.

I know when I'm in these situations, I usually want and need my loved one more, as I'm sure many of us do, so what do you do when you can't have what you need? How do you cope?

Right now I'm still in a sort of limbo where I'm waiting to hear if I will be able to make this visit, or if things just aren't well enough for it. I'm even more cranky right now than I was when I had to come back after the first visit, and I know if I don't get to go then I'll get even worse. Normally I would talk to him about this, maybe not directly, but I would at least send email(s) expressing my feelings, concerns, and possible solutions. But in this particular situation I just feel like it's best not to push this too much. He has so much on his plate at the moment, I don't want to add to his stress. But that's my major coping tool, so I'm looking for others.

I also have one of his shirts. Most nights I sleep with it, but when I'm really upset I wear it around the house. For those of you who know how much of a nudist I am, the fact that I want to wear any sort of clothing says a lot about how upset I am.

I also go back and read old IM conversations. I went back the other day to the first night he asked me to be his. I noticed how much out launguage has changed going from "if you could be here" to "when you are here" and from wishing I was his full time to recognizing I already was.

But these things are all that helpful at the moment. Maybe understanding others' coping tools will help. So How do you cope when life prevents you from being with your loved one?

 

[ecstaticsub]

I know there are a few of us right now that are dealing with unusual conditions with in our relationships that are forcing us to have even more limited time together than usual.

I know when I'm in these situations, I usually want and need my loved one more, as I'm sure many of us do, so what do you do when you can't have what you need? How do you cope?

Right now I'm still in a sort of limbo where I'm waiting to hear if I will be able to make this visit, or if things just aren't well enough for it. I'm even more cranky right now than I was when I had to come back after the first visit, and I know if I don't get to go then I'll get even worse. Normally I would talk to him about this, maybe not directly, but I would at least send email(s) expressing my feelings, concerns, and possible solutions. But in this particular situation I just feel like it's best not to push this too much. He has so much on his plate at the moment, I don't want to add to his stress. But that's my major coping tool, so I'm looking for others.

I also have one of his shirts. Most nights I sleep with it, but when I'm really upset I wear it around the house. For those of you who know how much of a nudist I am, the fact that I want to wear any sort of clothing says a lot about how upset I am.

I also go back and read old IM conversations. I went back the other day to the first night he asked me to be his. I noticed how much out launguage has changed going from "if you could be here" to "when you are here" and from wishing I was his full time to recognizing I already was.

But these things are all that helpful at the moment. Maybe understanding others' coping tools will help. So How do you cope when life prevents you from being with your loved one?

I'm the sort of person that really tries not to dwell on that which I can not change. Of course saying that and emotionally being able to do that are two totally different things.

There are a few things that I do. Reading old emails and IMs helps. It is sort of odd maybe but reading the emails from when we had disagreements help the most. Maybe it is because there is more raw emotion in them and maybe because it helps to see that we have gotten through some rough times so we can get through distance issues, also.

Daddy has also made me my own soundtrack which he has added to over the years. I've made CDs which I listen to especially when I am really missing him. He made me a CD for Valentine's Day a few years ago which I love. There is also a CD of music which shows his more Domly Evil Ogre side which I like to listen too if i am feeling less submissive or moody.

If I am really feeling low I will either take extra special pictures or video for him. I either totally dress up or do something very creative. it makes me feel better and I know it's something he loves. The same is true with writing stories. We have both been wicked busy but writing very short stories--more like fantasies--for him is a way i can focus on giving him something to enjoy that also makes me feel closer to him. Sometimes I will read or tell him the story on video.

Big hugs to you Wenchie

 

[ecstaticsub]

im in the house right now by myself. for the first time. ever. Master or viv or the kids were always around. its weird, but i dont feel out of place. i actually feel pretty content. i dont have the "tiptoe around somebody elses place so as not to disturb anything" vibe. im just hear. its comfortable.

This is true. Though I don't really feel like she's a guest any more. I think she's home.

I'd rather not see the china cabinet knocked over though. It would be a serious mess.

I am so excited for all of you that it is getting so close to MIS moving permanently HOME

 

[Homburg]

I am so excited for all of you that it is getting so close to MIS moving permanently HOME

She had an "I don't want to go back," moment last night. I looked at her and said, "This is the last one. Don't think of it as going back there. Think of if more as a long visit."

 

[myinnerslut]

I am glad to hear you are comfortable and relaxed for the 1st time ever in their home. .

not comfortable for the first time. alone in the house for the first time.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

How do I cope? I dunno really.

I don't have anything of daddys, yet. We don't keep IMs or emails. We leave each other answerphone messages just to hear each others voices and we text when credit and home life allows.

I have VERY good friends who keep me on an even keel. I bury myself in work, things going on around me at home etc.

I cry, I mope, I am as bad tempered as they come, I break my heart every time we have to stop talking.

So I suppose, bottom line is, I dont cope.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm the sort of person that really tries not to dwell on that which I can not change. Of course saying that and emotionally being able to do that are two totally different things.

There are a few things that I do. Reading old emails and IMs helps. It is sort of odd maybe but reading the emails from when we had disagreements help the most. Maybe it is because there is more raw emotion in them and maybe because it helps to see that we have gotten through some rough times so we can get through distance issues, also.

Daddy has also made me my own soundtrack which he has added to over the years. I've made CDs which I listen to especially when I am really missing him. He made me a CD for Valentine's Day a few years ago which I love. There is also a CD of music which shows his more Domly Evil Ogre side which I like to listen too if i am feeling less submissive or moody.

If I am really feeling low I will either take extra special pictures or video for him. I either totally dress up or do something very creative. it makes me feel better and I know it's something he loves. The same is true with writing stories. We have both been wicked busy but writing very short stories--more like fantasies--for him is a way i can focus on giving him something to enjoy that also makes me feel closer to him. Sometimes I will read or tell him the story on video.

Big hugs to you Wenchie

I had a picture assignment last week, I really enjoyed that, we both did. I threw some extra ones in here and there just because. But not even that is chearing me up right now.

How do I cope? I dunno really.

I don't have anything of daddys, yet. We don't keep IMs or emails. We leave each other answerphone messages just to hear each others voices and we text when credit and home life allows.

I have VERY good friends who keep me on an even keel. I bury myself in work, things going on around me at home etc.

I cry, I mope, I am as bad tempered as they come, I break my heart every time we have to stop talking.

So I suppose, bottom line is, I dont cope.

And I think this is why. I just don't have the outside distractions I usually do. Before I got moved to a new store I was working so much I just didn't have time to mope about. Now I'm working just what I'm suposed to so I have plenty of time to look at my suitcases that still remain unpacked and think about how excited I should be, how I should be preparing for another visit.

I'm trying to work on costumes, but they just aren't selling right now, so posting them is just costing more money at this point. But I think I should dive into the joy of creating the costumes more, and worry less about posting them, or even what to do with them when they are done. Maybe I'll start on one for me. I should have enough time to make a corset before my scheduled trip, then if I do get to go, I'll have something new to show off to him.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

A new corset sounds like a good move I bought my first one a few weeks ago, I am not the usual corset size so it took a while to find one that fit, but boy did it make me feel good and daddy is going to love it.

I have 2 weeks to go, I cant pack yet, but I have started making plans about what to take, yet another thing to keep me occupied.

 

[the captians wench]

A new corset sounds like a good move I bought my first one a few weeks ago, I am not the usual corset size so it took a while to find one that fit, but boy did it make me feel good and daddy is going to love it.

I have 2 weeks to go, I cant pack yet, but I have started making plans about what to take, yet another thing to keep me occupied.

I am a very odd size. Perfect hour glass. That's one of the reasons I started making costumes and clothes for myself.

When I was there in October he had me dress in one of my corsets (the first real corset corset that I've made) and took pictures. Was great fun, and I still hear his voice in that very non-chilaunt way he told me what to wear while not even looking at me. Almost like he was only half paying attention. *purr* I really do love that tone and attitude he takes when giving an order. It's not at all the "do it now bitch!" tone that I've experienced before. It's more...well...almost as if he's not even paying attention to me, for some reason I just find that all the more hotter. Then, you know, there's the accent.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I am a very odd size. Perfect hour glass. That's one of the reasons I started making costumes and clothes for myself.

When I was there in October he had me dress in one of my corsets (the first real corset corset that I've made) and took pictures. Was great fun, and I still hear his voice in that very non-chilaunt way he told me what to wear while not even looking at me. Almost like he was only half paying attention. *purr* I really do love that tone and attitude he takes when giving an order. It's not at all the "do it now bitch!" tone that I've experienced before. It's more...well...almost as if he's not even paying attention to me, for some reason I just find that all the more hotter. Then, you know, there's the accent.

Thats the accent that makes you go weak at the knees? I know it so well.

I am certainly no skinny minnie, so I have to hunt for them as I said before, but I agree, when daddy tells me what to wear the orders kinda drip from him for want of a better way of putting it, its like a drip feed and as you say, almost not really paying attention. Although that said, daddy MORE than pays attention when I finally present him with the finished article.