Shadowann2
My give-a-damn's busted
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2002
- Posts
- 8,829
I have lurked for a while here, and in the BDSM Café, and I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, so please forgive me if this is in the wrong place. Also, I apologize for the length of the post; I just feel that I need to include as much information as possible so that anyone who responds, can make an educated suggestion.
I have learned from my lurking about D/s relationships, and what a Top and a bottom are. I understand the concept of PYL/pyl, I think, but I'm just not sure where I fit into all of these categories.
I have a very dominant personality. In my day-today life, I tend to be the decision maker, and, in general, the dominant personality in my relationships.
However, when it comes to sex, being physically dominated turns me on to no end. I love being spanked, having my hair pulled, being bitten, and being tossed around. I get wet instantly when, out of nowhere, my fiancé shoves me against a wall and aggressively molests me. I love to feel dominated and feel out of control. I want him to tell me what to do and use me for his pleasure. I love to be tieed up and feel that he has complete control over my body. When he puts his hand on my throat, and pins me down that way, it makes me so wet! Now, of course, this is all an illusion of loss of control. I know if I tell him to stop, he'd do it immediately, without question.
The idea of being a slave has no appeal. I would never want a man to collar me, or be at his beck and call, outside the bedroom. Being told when I can cum or masturbate, or being given a list of tasks to follow would bring out the rebellious side of me, and I could not deal with it. My submissive side only comes out DURING sex. Outside the bedroom, I am the one in control. In fact, I'm a bit of a control freak about my body and my relationships. I refused to have an epidural during childbirth, because the idea of not being able to control my body freaked me out! I have never done drugs and rarely get drunk, because I don't like feeling out of control.
So what does that make me? I don't think I'm a submissive, because I want to submit only inside the bedroom. Am I a bottom? I have never thought that I was simply vanilla, but I am very confused as to what label to associate myself with.
I have learned from my lurking about D/s relationships, and what a Top and a bottom are. I understand the concept of PYL/pyl, I think, but I'm just not sure where I fit into all of these categories.
I have a very dominant personality. In my day-today life, I tend to be the decision maker, and, in general, the dominant personality in my relationships.
However, when it comes to sex, being physically dominated turns me on to no end. I love being spanked, having my hair pulled, being bitten, and being tossed around. I get wet instantly when, out of nowhere, my fiancé shoves me against a wall and aggressively molests me. I love to feel dominated and feel out of control. I want him to tell me what to do and use me for his pleasure. I love to be tieed up and feel that he has complete control over my body. When he puts his hand on my throat, and pins me down that way, it makes me so wet! Now, of course, this is all an illusion of loss of control. I know if I tell him to stop, he'd do it immediately, without question.
The idea of being a slave has no appeal. I would never want a man to collar me, or be at his beck and call, outside the bedroom. Being told when I can cum or masturbate, or being given a list of tasks to follow would bring out the rebellious side of me, and I could not deal with it. My submissive side only comes out DURING sex. Outside the bedroom, I am the one in control. In fact, I'm a bit of a control freak about my body and my relationships. I refused to have an epidural during childbirth, because the idea of not being able to control my body freaked me out! I have never done drugs and rarely get drunk, because I don't like feeling out of control.
So what does that make me? I don't think I'm a submissive, because I want to submit only inside the bedroom. Am I a bottom? I have never thought that I was simply vanilla, but I am very confused as to what label to associate myself with.