BOSTONFICTIONWRITER
The Wizard Of Literotica
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2007
- Posts
- 3,037
It's true. I'm dead. I was driving my new Ferrari in Italy when I toed instead of heeled and went off the mountain.
"Mama Mia! Arrivederci!"
The sound of the car rocketing down the mountain was deafening and then there was the explosion and flames.
Suddenly, I saw St. Peter.
"Come Freddie, we must go, now."
Freddie? Oh, he's calling me by one of my Literotica alt names. Now, that funny.
"Actually, Pete, I go by a multitude of names. I have several dozen alts. Mostly I write under Stella or Zeb. You can call me Zeb, which is where I've earned most of my green E's."
(Brazen aren't I? Even though I name one of my alts, I know it is safe because the morons who read this won't believe it. Right Zeb?)
"Okay, Zeb," said St. Peter. "We must go, now."
"I can't go yet, Peter, I have business to take care of first."
"What could you possibly have left to do that you haven't done on earth, Freddie, er, I mean, Zeb?"
"I need to post this on Literotica. All my friends (sniff), my family at Literotica would want to know what happened to me."
"Okay, but make it fast. I know how long winded you tend to be with your writing."
Suddenly, a laptop appeared in my hands from out of nowhere. Only, instead of it being a Dell, it was a Hell. I looked at St. Peter.
"Is this where I'm going?"
"Certainly not, you are too good of a person."
(You heard it here. St. Peter himself said that I was too good of a person to go to Hell. Now, if that's not testimonal enough, than I don't know what is.)
"Thank you, St. Peter."
"Who are you writing to, if I may ask," he said.
"Literotica. Any time anyone experiences a tragedy they post to Literotica first before they do anything else. I've heard of people crawling out of their hospital bed still bleeding to post their condition."
"I'm still bleeding," they said
"Candles are lit for you," the AH regulars respond in unison.
"It doesn't matter than I'm dead and on my way to eternal peace in Heaven, Heaven can wait. Posting a thread on Literotica is much more important."
"Listen," said St. Peter. "I see you have unfinished business and are hated, er I mean, beloved on Literotica. What if we worked something out here?"
"What do you have in mind, Pete?"
"So long as I return with a soul, I can take another instead of you."
"Great."
"Can you think of anyone that I can have to bring back with me?"
"Yeah, sure, you can take Selena's fictious baby. That would be a fair trade."
I guess he believed that she was pregnant and had a real baby, too.
So...as it turns out, I'm not dead after all. Isn't that great? I'll be here for years posting all kinds of wonderful stories. I just love this site and all the wonderful people of Literotica.
Zeb Carter
"Mama Mia! Arrivederci!"
The sound of the car rocketing down the mountain was deafening and then there was the explosion and flames.
Suddenly, I saw St. Peter.
"Come Freddie, we must go, now."
Freddie? Oh, he's calling me by one of my Literotica alt names. Now, that funny.
"Actually, Pete, I go by a multitude of names. I have several dozen alts. Mostly I write under Stella or Zeb. You can call me Zeb, which is where I've earned most of my green E's."
(Brazen aren't I? Even though I name one of my alts, I know it is safe because the morons who read this won't believe it. Right Zeb?)
"Okay, Zeb," said St. Peter. "We must go, now."
"I can't go yet, Peter, I have business to take care of first."
"What could you possibly have left to do that you haven't done on earth, Freddie, er, I mean, Zeb?"
"I need to post this on Literotica. All my friends (sniff), my family at Literotica would want to know what happened to me."
"Okay, but make it fast. I know how long winded you tend to be with your writing."
Suddenly, a laptop appeared in my hands from out of nowhere. Only, instead of it being a Dell, it was a Hell. I looked at St. Peter.
"Is this where I'm going?"
"Certainly not, you are too good of a person."
(You heard it here. St. Peter himself said that I was too good of a person to go to Hell. Now, if that's not testimonal enough, than I don't know what is.)
"Thank you, St. Peter."
"Who are you writing to, if I may ask," he said.
"Literotica. Any time anyone experiences a tragedy they post to Literotica first before they do anything else. I've heard of people crawling out of their hospital bed still bleeding to post their condition."
"I'm still bleeding," they said
"Candles are lit for you," the AH regulars respond in unison.
"It doesn't matter than I'm dead and on my way to eternal peace in Heaven, Heaven can wait. Posting a thread on Literotica is much more important."
"Listen," said St. Peter. "I see you have unfinished business and are hated, er I mean, beloved on Literotica. What if we worked something out here?"
"What do you have in mind, Pete?"
"So long as I return with a soul, I can take another instead of you."
"Great."
"Can you think of anyone that I can have to bring back with me?"
"Yeah, sure, you can take Selena's fictious baby. That would be a fair trade."
I guess he believed that she was pregnant and had a real baby, too.
So...as it turns out, I'm not dead after all. Isn't that great? I'll be here for years posting all kinds of wonderful stories. I just love this site and all the wonderful people of Literotica.
Zeb Carter
Last edited: