How do I find a Dom?

[naughtygirl69s]

Collarme, SUCKS in my area.

I'm tired of pansy ass white guys who wouldn't know how to fuck the broad-side of a barn.

 

[Gunny_G]

Here in Indiana we have groups and they have "munches" and while they can be a bit cheesey sometimes they can also be a good way to get to know people, with similar interests. It really depends on the group. In Chicago there are groups and clubs, In buffalo Ny there were groups and clubs. All local people who were like you wanting more.

I was fortunate that becoming serious about being dominant and not playing at it any more came when I met the person I cared about for real, not just a weekend or a short thing. When I knew we'd be together until death do us part I became very serious about it.

Our "Collaring" ceremony was our wedding ceremony. We nly shared that with a few, but it was and still is for us a part of everyday. And yes we are Christians and I would be remiss if I didn't point out that churches often have MEN. Real Men. Real Men who aren't afraid to be the head of the house.

Biggest thing is be safe and don't settle for someone who can't or won't give you what you desire. Hang in there.

 

[naughtygirl69s]

thanks Gunny, but I'm not sure "munches" are for me. I've tried the whole "swingers" scene, and I wasn't impressed, perhaps munches are different?

I'm not sure I'm into the whole "scene" I just want a man that knows how to fuck and is as kinky as I am, without drama, labels and bullshit.

I guess I'm asking for too much? LOL

 

[CutieMouse]

Munches aren't the same as swingers clubs/scenes.

It's dinner, at a public restaurant, with people who are comfortable acknowledging their kinks up front. No whips, no chains, no overt displays of BDSM; sometimes there's a public dungeon thing after, but no obligations to attend/participate.

Looking for someone via collarme.com, alt.com, lit.com, etc means weeding through the asshats (submissives and dominants, alike).

 

[naughtygirl69s]

Munches aren't the same as swingers clubs/scenes.

It's dinner, at a public restaurant, with people who are comfortable acknowledging their kinks up front. No whips, no chains, no overt displays of BDSM; sometimes there's a public dungeon thing after, but no obligations to attend/participate.

Looking for someone via collarme.com, alt.com, lit.com, etc means weeding through the asshats (submissives and dominants, alike).

ah, well, perhaps..I should look into it more...

 

[xssve]

Well, there are these place called bars...

Other than that, I dunno what to tell you - what area?

 

[Adakgirl]

How do I find a Dom?

I'm not sure I'm into the whole "scene" I just want a man that knows how to fuck and is as kinky as I am, without drama, labels and bullshit.

I guess I'm asking for too much? LOL

No not asking for too much, I don't think you are asking for a Dominant either. Good Dominants can be pretty dramatic. They have some very unique and special kinds of drama that they make happen just for you.
A Dominant might want to label you as his slave, a slut, a filthy whore, a cunt.....well.....you get the picture. Also if you can't deal with a Dominants bullshit when he decides to shovel it out to you..then you are not wanting a Dom.

 

[00Syd]

No not asking for too much, I don't think you are asking for a Dominant either. Good Dominants can be pretty dramatic. They have some very unique and special kinds of drama that they make happen just for you.
A Dominant might want to label you as his slave, a slut, a filthy whore, a cunt.....well.....you get the picture. Also if you can't deal with a Dominants bullshit when he decides to shovel it out to you..then you are not wanting a Dom.

Ditto. Sounds like your just looking for someone kinky without the power play aspect, and that's fine, it's just helpful to know what your looking for.

 

[Cattypuss]

I think a munch might be a good idea for me, but I'm too shy to go on my own

 

[Abraxas Winterlight]

Munches are pretty relaxed. You just go grab you some grub & chat with the people around you. I have found them to be very friendly.

& collarme, well a friend of mine is on there & got me to make a profile.
yeah, you got LOTS of asshats on there, but the mails she gets (& some of mine) are good for some great laughs!

 

[Cazey]

A Dom

A good Dom is a hard thing to find. It depends on whether you want a smack your ass and call you Sally Dom or whether you want a Dom that will chain you to the bed and fuck you crazy every day and treat you like a bitch like I would.

 

[Hooper_X]

I'm tired of pansy ass white guys who wouldn't know how to fuck the broad-side of a barn.

...*yawn*

 

[rosco rathbone]

nawtee!

single again, what what?

 

[TerribleChester]

I'm tired of pansy ass white guys who wouldn't know how to fuck the broad-side of a barn.

Does this mean you think all white guys are pansy arse?

 

[Adakgirl]

I was going to say, I know a lot of white guys who know how to build the barn, fuck the broad side of it too and everything in the barn as well as all the women on the farm. lol

 

[Hooper_X]

Does this mean you think all white guys are pansy arse?

I realize that "arse" is a perfectly acceptable word in the various British vernaculars. Your use of it on a primarily American forum, and in particular in this thread and in response to the implication that all of you people aren't the manliest of men, doesn't help your case. To American ears, "arse" sounds a little... well, candy-assed.

 

[Scotsman69]

Scuse me, are you suggesting that if non-US citizens appear on Lit, they should use US language?

 

[Hooper_X]

Scuse me, are you suggesting that if non-US citizens appear on Lit, they should use US language?

I was being facetious, arsehole

 

[Scotsman69]

My, you do have a deliciously polite turn of phrase. And no, none of the women I have been with would use the term pansy to describe me.

Maybe its just that over here there lingers a tradition of care for other folk.

Why is it that so many US MALES on this site feel the need to be abusive to folk they don't know? This is aspect of your macho culture I truly don't understand.

 

[Hooper_X]

My, you do have a deliciously polite turn of phrase. And no, none of the women I have been with would use the term pansy to describe me.

Maybe its just that over here there lingers a tradition of care for other folk.

Why is it that so many US MALES on this site feel the need to be abusive to folk they don't know? This is aspect of your macho culture I truly don't understand.

Macho, a laughably anachronistic word, has nothing to do with it. Every comment that I've made in this thread (excepting the one wherein I yawned), to include this one, has been of the tongue-in-cheek variety. Humor seems to be another aspect of our culture that you can't quite comprehend, which is odd considering how much my sense of humor has been warped by early exposure to Monty Python, The Goodies and "Are You Being Served." Perhaps, if you'd remove that rather uncomfortably stick from your arse...

As to your question, Americans don't have the kind of lingeringly rigid and highly stratified society that you have over there. We are raised to believe that we speak informally to, with the exceptions of one's parents, bosses and judges (in court), anyone we might encounter. And, as my sainted grandmother was fond of saying, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

 

[Scotsman69]

Strange humour indeed. I feel very comfortable in Canada, but fear I might not in the great US of A.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'm not sure I'm into the whole "scene" I just want a man that knows how to fuck and is as kinky as I am, without drama, labels and bullshit.

I guess I'm asking for too much? LOL

Here's your problem right here....stop looking for a "dom" and just find a normal, horny guy.

 

[Hooper_X]

Strange humour indeed. I feel very comfortable in Canada, but fear I might not in the great US of A.

You must not be comfortable in merry old England either, because England is whence my dry, perhaps overly sardonic, sense of humor was imported. Who revels in the deliciousness of "snarkiness" and schadenfreude more than a sneering Englishman, e.g. Simon Cowell or (the man I consider to be one of the contemporary masters of the form) Alan Rickman?

 

[rosco rathbone]

You must not be comfortable in merry old England either, because England is whence my dry, perhaps overly sardonic, sense of humor was imported. Who revels in the deliciousness of "snarkiness" and schadenfreude more than a sneering Englishman, e.g. Simon Cowell or (the man I consider to be one of the contemporary masters of the form) Alan Rickman?

Ever see the movie Naked? Remember where Johnny is breaking the Scotsman's balls? "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggieee!!!"

 

[thelastempress]

submiting to a dom means relinquishing something of your wants and desires in order to obtain something together, not unlike any other relationships.

May I recomend, as some already have, that you look into munch clubs in your area, there is something to be said with getting to know someone face to face.