How do you like to hurt?

[intothewoods]

my favorite pain comes from scrubbing my labia with a cello pad till it bleeds. The pain of having my raw pussy fucked is delicious, especially if the scrubbing was ordered by my owner and the fucking is being done by someone else. Is very difficult not to remember who really owns you in that scenario.

Its twisted but i love it and crave it. Oh how i miss it!

Owwww ow ow ow owow. Does it heal up okay? *shudder* You know I have quite sensitive skin down there. I'm always worried by how much of a reaction I have to some things.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Owwww ow ow ow owow. Does it heal up okay? *shudder* You know I have quite sensitive skin down there. I'm always worried by how much of a reaction I have to some things.

Never had a problem with healing. In fact the soreness really only last 1-2 days and you really can't see it hardly at all except for just after. The first time i was told to do this i HATED it, it made me angry but after awhile i began to crave it. Was really weird. It just made me feel very owned. The fact that it hurt a little to masturbate or fuck just reinforced that even further.

 

[twysted73]

How do I like to hurt? For myself or others? I must admit that I do have somewhat of an emotional massochistic flavor I enjoy from time to time. (see bunny? we're not so different after all)

It's when I'm cut deeply and then healed that I really take a shine to someone. As for others? Emotional, psychological, mental as well as physical sadism. It makes me feel good. The only thing that limits me are her limits. I love tears. I hope to draw a few soon as I love the taste and look of them. I find them....entertainingly beautiful.

 

[intothewoods]

Never had a problem with healing. In fact the soreness really only last 1-2 days and you really can't see it hardly at all except for just after. The first time i was told to do this i HATED it, it made me angry but after awhile i began to crave it. Was really weird. It just made me feel very owned. The fact that it hurt a little to masturbate or fuck just reinforced that even further.

Sometimes I feel like my vagina is against me. I guess it's more like the skin. It's just so sensitive to every little thing.

 

[fma30f]

hi

I personally like to submit to moderate to severe caning on bare bottom. The sting excites me to a high and That it the time I am fully ready for some rough entry by a well endowed guy with painful hard fast and long strokes. I like it burning and more, with or without lube.

 

[BiBunny]

How do I like to hurt? For myself or others? I must admit that I do have somewhat of an emotional massochistic flavor I enjoy from time to time. (see bunny? we're not so different after all)

It's when I'm cut deeply and then healed that I really take a shine to someone. As for others? Emotional, psychological, mental as well as physical sadism. It makes me feel good. The only thing that limits me are her limits. I love tears. I hope to draw a few soon as I love the taste and look of them. I find them....entertainingly beautiful.

Heh. Not so different at all.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Sometimes I feel like my vagina is against me. I guess it's more like the skin. It's just so sensitive to every little thing.

Well... it does bleed. It does hurt for a day or two afterwards. Irritation is kind of the point. i would think being sensitive would just make it easier to accomplish the same result with less work.

 

[castagnus]

my favorite pain comes from scrubbing my labia with a cello pad till it bleeds. The pain of having my raw pussy fucked is delicious, especially if the scrubbing was ordered by my owner and the fucking is being done by someone else. Is very difficult not to remember who really owns you in that scenario.

Its twisted but i love it and crave it. Oh how i miss it!

Reminds me of my ex wife who once in a while would attach powerful Radio Shack alligator clips to her labia as she looked deeply into my eyes. This was done slowly and in sync with her rising ability to withstand the excruciating pain - and there was only an occasional flicker of agony in those submissive, loving eyes indicating she might have momentarily exceeded her ascending pain threshold. When she had attached 5 clips on each lip I would maintain continuous eye contact while gently penetrating her and slowly increase my tempo until I would bang into her with all my might and bring her to an intense climax made a thousand times more powerful by the intense pain. There seldom was any bleeding and although her labia lips would still be tender after a few days she might have a craving for this for several days in a row.

In your experience, were there elements of "loving pain" when your bleeding labia were fucked ?

 

[pointsdevore]

I like both but I can only handle emotional pain if I know that the person actually cares about me, and that they know what they're doing.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I like humiliation and anal torture. The best is when i get both at the same time. I am not a pain slut. I can take much more impact play ( and enjoy it more) if there is big buttplug or anal probe in my ass and I am in some sort of humiliating position/situation.

 

[A Desert Rose]

*ding, ding ding* This pretty much describes me. I've not always been like this..but in the last few years it has pretty much increased to this point. I need physical pain..but I also need emotional pain just as much. My Dom and I had a discussion about this the other day..that may help clear up how it is for me. I asked him..ok I'll be honest.. I was practically begging him for pain. So he started pinching, pulling, hitting, and I said umm..no I need emotional pain. He had some hesitations because of the mood I had been in the few days prior to this and wanted to discuss it with me.. I am the type of masochist that sometimes I need pain just for pain's sake..not for pleasure, not to cum..kind of to calm the inner storm..hurt me this way..and this hurts less.

But in that moment the reason I needed emotional pain was this...I've had two relationships in the past that ended in a lot of pain..very hard to get over. One reason for this was because the entire time I was with both of these people they would tell me, "you're perfect, I love you just the way you are" all that bullshit. Well..evidently not. Either relationship worked out. I hate to be told I'm perfect. I hate to be told that I don't need to ever change anything..mostly because no one is and it's just something people say to appease others. In that moment I needed emotional pain to feel that this relationship was real..that he sees my faults, can taunt me for them..and still loves me in spite of them. That he recognizes there are things about me that I need to change..and loves me enough to point them out.

Now there are other times..often that this is not the reason I need emotional pain..but I'm not going to go into all that. I realize that in those times it most likely comes from an unhealthy part of me. But I wanted to point out this one example to try to explain it.

My intention with this thread was to talk about psychological pain. I didn't articulate that very well at the start, but no matter... this thread developed into a very interesting read, for me, at least. And I'm glad it took on some different lives.

As I said before, I'm not a pain slut. I don't enjoy physical pain. I don't mind discomfort (and this is all relative because what is painful to me and uncomfortable is entirely different for the next guy.) It's really moot to discuss that, I guess and honestly, who cares what hurts me or doesn't?

What I really wonder about is the craving to be hurt, psychologically. I wonder at times why I seemed to go back, knowing full well that it would be the same story. I'm going to be hurting, I knew it and still...

I keep going back to Rosco's post about the highs and lows of romance. I hate to think that's me because I pride myself on not being high maintanence and not being a drama queen/attention whore. (I know some of you will disagree with the latter, but, oh well.) And yet his post seems to make some sense to me.

Unlike you nh, I was rarely told that I was perfect, wonderful, all that good stuff. I say rarely because I did hear some "good girl"s and that stuff. But I always have felt like I fell short, just an inch or two from being a "wonderful good girl". Mostly, it was my mistakes and shortcomings that were the topic of discussion/beratement/derision.

And I think in the end, this is all a direct reflection on my choice of Doms. Why I chose those particular Doms is an entirely different question...



I think.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Christ, it took forever to make this post and then it did it twice!!!!!

 

[Esclava]

Goodness, ADR -

I've been away a long time and this is a doozy to come back to!

While I enjoy heavy, physical impact (thuddy, not stingy), I don't function at all with emotional pain. The part of me that COULD be hurt emotionally is barricaded behind a wall so high and thick that it takes years for someone to get close enough for me to open the door.

In terms of how I deal with emotional pain, am I a product of my past? Most definitely! I have carried so much baggage through life that it's not easy to get close enough to talk to me - much less hurt me. Is that a good thing? I think not ...

Esclava

 

[ataxia.girl]

And I think in the end, this is all a direct reflection on my choice of Doms. Why I chose those particular Doms is an entirely different question...

i choose them because the harder they are to please the more their approval is worth to me. Plain and simple. Along with nh i want them to really see me, feel me, and know, me the good and the bad before i can believe anything they have to say about me. If they haven't seen my flaws then their delcarations of love and devotion don't mean anything because they don't really love me they are in love with their own idea of me.

i haven't really had the problem of choosing guys who are impossible to please but i do choose guys who have a hard time being emotionally vulnerable and that is very painful. To be let in and then shut out again is excrutiating.

i don't know that i won't ever do it again but for right now i am not in a place where i can handle it. i will still need emotional pain though. That is certain.

 

[ataxia.girl]

In your experience, were there elements of "loving pain" when your bleeding labia were fucked ?

It was very much a feeling of "loving pain" when my sore hole was fucked. The pain from scrubbing was not nearly as bad as clamps would have been. It sounds worse than it is. i mean it hurts but the main thing was creating the residual soreness... the reminder. It was awkward the first couple of times and i did resent it and thought it unfair but as i got used to it i began to really crave that constant sore feeling. It just made me feel very owned, very looked after and remembered.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Goodness, ADR -

I've been away a long time and this is a doozy to come back to!

While I enjoy heavy, physical impact (thuddy, not stingy), I don't function at all with emotional pain. The part of me that COULD be hurt emotionally is barricaded behind a wall so high and thick that it takes years for someone to get close enough for me to open the door.

In terms of how I deal with emotional pain, am I a product of my past? Most definitely! I have carried so much baggage through life that it's not easy to get close enough to talk to me - much less hurt me. Is that a good thing? I think not ...

Esclava

I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you are. It's good to see you again. Wish you'd not stay away so long but I know how life can get in the way of lots of other things. ;-)

On the topic of baggage, I couldn't agree with you more. I'm sure that has a lot to do with my choices, the way things affect me and the way I react to things.

I also know that so many are aware that I have a health issue. I think that scares off a lot of guys. I like to blame it for the reason that I don't have men beating down my door or filling my PM box.

HA! (It can't possibly be because I'm a bore or ugly or any other dozen character flaws, now could it?)

My health issue is hard to understand (most about it I don't understand) so why would anyone want to invest a lot of emotional currency into someone who has issues they can't really grasp? And that they can't do anything about? Smart people pick their battles and if you can't win and know you can't, it's easier to walk away or stay away or keep an emotional distance.

It's easier to blame something that I really have no control over, like my health issue. But like it or not, true or not, I think my health issue is the biggest suitcase I carry around.

 

[A Desert Rose]

i choose them because the harder they are to please the more their approval is worth to me. Plain and simple. Along with nh i want them to really see me, feel me, and know, me the good and the bad before i can believe anything they have to say about me. If they haven't seen my flaws then their delcarations of love and devotion don't mean anything because they don't really love me they are in love with their own idea of me.

i haven't really had the problem of choosing guys who are impossible to please but i do choose guys who have a hard time being emotionally vulnerable and that is very painful. To be let in and then shut out again is excrutiating.

i don't know that i won't ever do it again but for right now i am not in a place where i can handle it. i will still need emotional pain though. That is certain.

I could live with someone being "in love with their own idea of me". That certainly gives all my character flaws and ugliness a pass... doesn't it? LOL

Seriously though, the highlighted part, makes a lot of sense to my initial and internal questions.

 

[Sub_Space]

From others, I like a quick slash with a knife--not too deep, but enough so that it bleeds and you get the "spike" of pain followed by heat and an adrenaline rush. I like one at first, and then a few afterwards in succession. I like pain that feels like heat--flogging especially.

Giving to others, I love administering spankings, floggings, and canings, as well as biting down hard enough to leave a few marks. Flogging is probably my favorite because you can get your arm into a zen-like sort of rhythm, and I can watch my sub (at least in his particular case) start finding his own masochistic peace.

And I never say no to some good hair-pulling on both ends.

 

[Esclava]

I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you are. It's good to see you again. Wish you'd not stay away so long but I know how life can get in the way of lots of other things. ;-)

Thank you, ADR - it is nice to know you remember me! But, BOY have I been on an excursion in r/l ... I'll send you a PM and tell you all about it!

On the topic of baggage, I couldn't agree with you more. I'm sure that has a lot to do with my choices, the way things affect me and the way I react to things.

I believe this is how most people deal with baggage whether they want to admit it or not.

I also know that so many are aware that I have a health issue. I think that scares off a lot of guys. I like to blame it for the reason that I don't have men beating down my door or filling my PM box.

HA! (It can't possibly be because I'm a bore or ugly or any other dozen character flaws, now could it?)

My health issue is hard to understand (most about it I don't understand) so why would anyone want to invest a lot of emotional currency into someone who has issues they can't really grasp? And that they can't do anything about? Smart people pick their battles and if you can't win and know you can't, it's easier to walk away or stay away or keep an emotional distance.

It's easier to blame something that I really have no control over, like my health issue. But like it or not, true or not, I think my health issue is the biggest suitcase I carry around.

I think you're absolutely correct with your reference to smart people picking their battles ... etc. and it being easier to walk, stay etc. Emotional distance ... boy do I know all about that! Make no mistake - I'm just as guilty of keeping the distance. It is so much easier to allow "previous baggage" to control how I think or feel in addition to coloring my impression of new people in my life. That way the new people have to prove they're worthy - be willing to work HARD to get to know us. But, OMG - the payoff to patience while bridging the distance is sooooooo worth it. And I believe that's the case for you.

As for your health issues? They may be in the biggest suitcase you are carrying, but it will just take someone willing to be patient while bridging the distance to open the suitcase and show you that it's empty!

Esclava

 

[Netzach]

My intention with this thread was to talk about psychological pain. I didn't articulate that very well at the start, but no matter... this thread developed into a very interesting read, for me, at least. And I'm glad it took on some different lives.

As I said before, I'm not a pain slut. I don't enjoy physical pain. I don't mind discomfort (and this is all relative because what is painful to me and uncomfortable is entirely different for the next guy.) It's really moot to discuss that, I guess and honestly, who cares what hurts me or doesn't?

What I really wonder about is the craving to be hurt, psychologically. I wonder at times why I seemed to go back, knowing full well that it would be the same story. I'm going to be hurting, I knew it and still...

I keep going back to Rosco's post about the highs and lows of romance. I hate to think that's me because I pride myself on not being high maintanence and not being a drama queen/attention whore. (I know some of you will disagree with the latter, but, oh well.) And yet his post seems to make some sense to me.

Unlike you nh, I was rarely told that I was perfect, wonderful, all that good stuff. I say rarely because I did hear some "good girl"s and that stuff. But I always have felt like I fell short, just an inch or two from being a "wonderful good girl". Mostly, it was my mistakes and shortcomings that were the topic of discussion/beratement/derision.

And I think in the end, this is all a direct reflection on my choice of Doms. Why I chose those particular Doms is an entirely different question...



I think.

Baggage is sooo interesting. I think I got so much of a dose of what's wrong so many unwinnable games and moving goal posts that I'm done with it forever. I need games I can win every time, I need to be perfect if not forever for the moment, and I need carrots and praise and love and lots of them, or begone.

I do not like to hurt emotionally. I can. I can tolerate astounding things for love. But I accept that, I don't want it, crave it, love it. It has its own depth and weight and texture, but I don't *seek* it. Not in the least.

I'm done with critique for a LONG time. I got front loaded. I have these really wide, soft, boundaries, a lot of latitude, but when you hit up against something substantial and push on that, you are OUT. Those hard posts are VERY policed, and very real.

Dominant Goddesses also get made.

 

[cookiecat]

A short exchange with someone today prompted me to think about this:

Assuming that you are a masochist, what kind are you? A physical or emotional one? Or a combination of the two? Why do you think so? Do you think you can seperate the two? Or do you need to be one, in order to be the other? Do you think that your history has anything to do with your choices or masochistic bent, again assuming you are a masochist?

On the other side of the coin: You call and toss it.

This is bathroom thinking for me. I'll be in the shower giving this a great deal of thought.

Hold all my calls, please.

Soooo - in an effort to get the Talk section talking again, I wandered back in to old threads just to see what we were missing...

I found this thread that piqued my curiosity and thought I'd revive it since it's new faces answering the question.

Assuming you enjoy some kind of pain with your pleasure, what kind of pain do you enjoy?

Physical pain? Emotional?

If it's physical, how far do you go with pain?

In either case, why do you think you like it? What does pain give you that cuddles and snuggles and pleasure do not?

 

[cascadiabound]

Soooo - in an effort to get the Talk section talking again, I wandered back in to old threads just to see what we were missing...

I found this thread that piqued my curiosity and thought I'd revive it since it's new faces answering the question.

Assuming you enjoy some kind of pain with your pleasure, what kind of pain do you enjoy?

Physical pain? Emotional?

If it's physical, how far do you go with pain?

In either case, why do you think you like it? What does pain give you that cuddles and snuggles and pleasure do not?

Thanks for finding this thread cookie. As I review the old posts I find it a pretty interesting read. It is also interesting to me that the OP was most interested in emotional pain, but the thread pretty rapidly veered into the physical pain spectrum.

So... I'll take a stab at these questions. Feels rather revealing to go first in this iteration...(deep breath) but here goes...

1) What kind of pain do you like with your pleasure?
I like a wide range of moderate to approaching severe pain. No cutting or electricity thank you very much. But spanking...with hands and crops and floggers and wooden spoons and rulers...on lots of places...is remarkably arousing for me. Pulling hair... hard, is awfully wonderful. Pushing me onto positions that are bordering on painful or uncomfortable...just because seems to heighten things for me too. By now, everyone knows I'm a rope bunny...I like the bite of the rope on my skin. The way it constricts my movement and my breathing...the way it marks my skin. I do find that rope, esp. hemp has a wonderful scratchy quality that is a bit of an irritant...and this while not exactly painful, is no picnic either...and since, I'm not controlling the play it can be a bit of an endurance test...all pushing on those edges of sensation and pain. Mixing all of those things together to create extra deliciousness...

2) Emotional pain or physical pain?
I am not interested in mixing emotional pain with my pleasure. I think I have had more than enough heaping servings of such things in real life and I want my lover to take care of my emotional needs. To me emotional pain is different from humiliation or dirty name calling...this is not painful.

3) Why do you like it? What does pain give you that cuddles don't? I would say that in fact... administering pain... physical pain...is a way of taking care of my emotional pain. A way of helping cleanse me. Purify me. Stop my brain from thinking so much. No amount of cuddling can do that. There is something so amazing about the way getting all those pain sensors stimulated... especially in a long session, where I just completely let go. Completely fall into the care and secure safety of my lover knowing that he is giving me pain...taking care of me, my head unable to hold a thought, and I fall onto sub space...deeper and deeper and it is so much purer than the most powerful orgasm. And then when he takes me on top of that and gives me complete sexual release as well...I find that every bit of stress, anxiety, worry, emotional toxic anything is all washed away...it is a feeling that is hard not to crave once you have had it. No wonder it is so fucking arousing....

 

[babygirl247]

Definitely more physical than emotional.

 

[MastersDelight]

Soooo - in an effort to get the Talk section talking again, I wandered back in to old threads just to see what we were missing...

I found this thread that piqued my curiosity and thought I'd revive it since it's new faces answering the question.

Assuming you enjoy some kind of pain with your pleasure, what kind of pain do you enjoy?

Physical pain? Emotional?

If it's physical, how far do you go with pain?

In either case, why do you think you like it? What does pain give you that cuddles and snuggles and pleasure do not?

What kind of pain do I enjoy?

I prefer the physical, stingy is alarming but I like seeing how much I can endure. I'll squirm and dance and try to escape and just when I don't think I can take more I start to slip and drift into space and feel so fucked up and just pray he lets me drift for a while before delivering that strike that draws me back up for air. Thuddy is soooooooo good. Master likes punching especially, and in the right places he can make me cum .

How far do I go with pain?

Most of our heavier impact scenes I'm standing. It gives him better access and keeps me more self aware than if I'm lying down. And because it sets my limit for me. I can take a lot of impact, and once drunk on the pain, I have a hard time discerning just how much is enough. I think at some point my body's natural will to survive kicks in and I start to shake, kind of like a muscle fatigue shake. If that starts and I don't call out, Master will go until my legs buckle. These scenes are few and far between though. Our more regular play isn't that intense.

What kind of pain do I enjoy?

I kind of expressed that above with stingy or thuddy. Thuddy relaxes me after and lets me drift unhindered. Stingy is great too though at the right times. My favorites are leather floggers, galley whip *shivers*, leather belt, and punching. I want marks and welts but deep muscle pain too that will linger for days.

What does pain give me that cuddles don't?

The high for one thing. Cuddles give that warm safe feeling, but pain is an internal struggle. You edge up to that brink and think this time you might just break. But you don't. You're tempered and stronger and survived despite your body and mind screaming for escape. And he's pleased, so pleased, and so proud. He needed something so demanding and I gave it to him. Something no one else could. I proved my trust and devotion by offering myself up. And he believed and trusted in my ability to take whatever he needed to give me. That's what pain gives me.

 

[apom]

Soooo - in an effort to get the Talk section talking again, I wandered back in to old threads just to see what we were missing...

I found this thread that piqued my curiosity and thought I'd revive it since it's new faces answering the question.

Assuming you enjoy some kind of pain with your pleasure, what kind of pain do you enjoy?

Physical pain? Emotional?

If it's physical, how far do you go with pain?

In either case, why do you think you like it? What does pain give you that cuddles and snuggles and pleasure do not?

My tastes are extreme and my experience is very limited, but I have been down the road a couple of times. I tend to think a lot less about the why’s and focus more on the how’s. This thread was an interesting read though, so I spent a few afternoons trying to answer the questions.

What kind of pain do I enjoy?

I don’t like hurting but I love being hurt, if that makes any sense. While I don’t enjoy physical pain I thrive on having my humanity disregarded and my body used. To me, pain is painful. Suffering for other peoples’ pleasure just happens to be as close to absolute surrender as I can get. Enduring agony because somebody else enjoys it feels like giving away all of me, and I need that.

What really gets me off…

Helplessness. Irrelevance. Contempt. Being blindfolded, chained and dropped in the middle of a pack of raging carnivores, bound in positions that strain and contort, expose and offer my naked body. Thrashings that take my breath, bring me to my knees, scar me prominently so I never forget why I exist. Fists and boots battering my body. Leather and wood blistering my skin. I like the aesthetics of everyday items the most—sticks and especially straps. Hanging by my hands as the mob unbuckles its belts and closes in on me is marvelously chilling. The anticipation of awaiting that first lash is a high I have found nowhere else in life. If I can’t walk when they’re done with me and am sore for the next month it’s been a good night.

So, yeah, I’m a pinata, but pain doesn’t have to be about hitting. Stuff like air deprivation, exposure to the elements and electric shock offer provocative flavors of distress as well. To me there’s just something titillating and wonderfully abject about people playing around with the limits of my life just because it’s fun. Being that trivial is my ultimate desire.

Until recently I’ve kept my hair boy short, no one has ever made me bleed using anything but a fist, stick or whip or used anything between my legs but ropes, dicks or other phalluses, so I can’t speak to hair-pulling, cutting or some of the other stuff that’s been mentioned here. Pinching my nipples makes me cum sometimes if I’m being fucked good and hard, so that doesn’t count as pain. I think about nipple and breast skewering a lot and my masochistic fantasy is someone marking me like a piece of meat with a branding iron. Unfortunately I don’t have the balls to suggest any of that. I experienced some pretty scary water play once and don’t care if I never go there again, and there are lots of other tortures to which I’ve never been subjected and the ideas of which just don’t heat me up, so…

How far will I go?

The US Constitution and international law tell me I can’t give away my freedom, so I give away the possibility for anything I say to mean anything instead. I need to believe that those who will hold the keys to my cuffs aren’t a bunch of psychopathic sadists, but within the realm of sanity and common sense, once I’m hogtied on the floor of the basement it is what it is.

Cuddles and snuggles?

They project care and affection, which is the opposite of what I usually crave. If I feel snuggly it’s when I’m with a woman. It isn’t something I feel very often though, and when I do I’m also hoping she’ll tie me down and ream me raw when the snuggling is done. The guys, I just want them to pound me black and blue.

I’m a happy person who loves herself and adores life, but I don’t know why I am like I am. It’s not like I can explain why I crave sushi and chocolate either. If I had to guess I’d say I was probably just born with unusual proclivities, as I’ve had these urges almost as far back as I can remember.

Bottom line, it isn’t “pain” if I like it, but that’s kind of the point. For me there’s nothing subservient about stuff that feels good. If you’re hurting me I’m wishing you would stop and at the same time hoping you won’t because nothing feels quite as right as people taking their anger out on my body, pumping their demons into me and loving it when they make me scream.