The Emotional and Mental Health Support Thread

[intothewoods]

Come into the light. All are welcome.

Ha ha. Just kidding, y'all.

So, we have (somewhere or other) a few threads that offer support for getting physically healthier, but what about emotional health? A few people said they might be into a thread like this, so here it is.

I'm not envisioning something super deep all the time. It could be as simple as trying to find time for relaxation or meditation in a busy life. Or finally beating that nail-biting habit (kidding, Netzach!).

More seriously, there are a lot of folks on here who suffer from depression or anxiety, or are just going through a real rough patch in their lives, and a lot of people on the board here who can give great advice. Also, sometimes you need a place to ask, am I crazy or...? My ex accused me of having all sorts of addictions, and I wasn't sure what to believe at one time. It's nice to have somewhere to get a reality check.

 

[intothewoods]

As for me, I have suffered from anxiety and strong physical manifestations of stress ever since my mom passed away when I was a teenager. It's much much better than it was when I was 21, but anxiety still rears its ugly head at times, and it can be quite immobilizing. Also, I'm in the process of getting a divorce and that's had ohhhhh just a bit of impact on my life in the past year.

I've had good success with meds in the past, but my physical response to the drug I was on for ages has been much less predictable since having a baby. I'm also noticing how hormonal shifts every month make an impact as well, but I'm not sure how much to attribute to that. Unfortunately, I don't think the medical community knows enough about the interplay of all of these things to be able to say, oh sure, take 2 of these and call me in the morning. I'm sure a good psychiatrist who specializes in the med diagnosis part would be helpful, but for a variety of reasons I haven't been able to get a referral. All of that said, I'm now weaning off the current drugs. It seems fine, more or less, but I do notice I'm more edgy than I once was. I'm trying to figure out ways to balance that out. Yoga and other physical activity helps a lot.

 

[00Syd]

I've been pretty depressed and have had very little energy since about October. I also have some serious issues with insomnia that have been going on for much, much longer. I can't remember the last time I felt really awake. I know that some sort of physical activity would help, but just getting myself together to leave the house takes enough of what little energy I have.

I just switched my birth control to see if that was what was causing my depression, but I haven't been on the new pill long enough to be able to tell. If nothing changes I'm going to try going off the pill entirely to see if thats what's causing it. I made sure I had a good schedule this upcoming semester, so hopefully I'll be able to get myself on a more normal sleep cycle. No more 2am radio shows for me! I'm also planning on asking my schools counseling center for a referral to a real shrink once I get back to school.

I also have some pretty serious stress issues, and am terrible at dealing with all my assignments at school without at least a few minor panic attacks each semester. ITW, I see that you have issues with stress so maybe you have some suggestions on how to handle it?

I guess thats all... I wish I knew more so I could help others, but I'm still trying to learn how to deal with my own problems. Once I do, I hope I'll be able to help someone else.

 

[naxalite0906]

The question in my case is:

Is there any point writing about all of my feelings when I am pretty sure why I feel like this and what I can do about it?

Having people on here who care is such a wonderful thing But I am pretty sure what the answers from everyone will be, and it is my own fault for never changing things.

Depression sure does suck tho..

 

[intothewoods]

I've been pretty depressed and have had very little energy since about October. I also have some serious issues with insomnia that have been going on for much, much longer. I can't remember the last time I felt really awake. I know that some sort of physical activity would help, but just getting myself together to leave the house takes enough of what little energy I have.

I just switched my birth control to see if that was what was causing my depression, but I haven't been on the new pill long enough to be able to tell. If nothing changes I'm going to try going off the pill entirely to see if thats what's causing it. I made sure I had a good schedule this upcoming semester, so hopefully I'll be able to get myself on a more normal sleep cycle. No more 2am radio shows for me! I'm also planning on asking my schools counseling center for a referral to a real shrink once I get back to school.

I also have some pretty serious stress issues, and am terrible at dealing with all my assignments at school without at least a few minor panic attacks each semester. ITW, I see that you have issues with stress so maybe you have some suggestions on how to handle it?

I guess thats all... I wish I knew more so I could help others, but I'm still trying to learn how to deal with my own problems. Once I do, I hope I'll be able to help someone else.

Have you tried ambien for the insomnia? Might ease some of the other issues.

As for stress, my tips are writing it out in a journal, writing a to do list (this helps me the most), exercise, and taking care of yourself. That whole letting go of that which you cannot control is pretty damn good too.

The question in my case is:

Is there any point writing about all of my feelings when I am pretty sure why I feel like this and what I can do about it?

Having people on here who care is such a wonderful thing But I am pretty sure what the answers from everyone will be, and it is my own fault for never changing things.

Depression sure does suck tho..

Yes! Writing things down can help you see things in a different way at times. You might make a list of steps, and do one at at a time, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the entire task at hand. Cognitive therapy, with a good therapist, is also helpful, and different from writing it out or talking to friends. A good therapist will help you look at things in a different way, ask yourself tough questions, help you find out what's holding you back.

 

[00Syd]

Have you tried ambien for the insomnia? Might ease some of the other issues.

As for stress, my tips are writing it out in a journal, writing a to do list (this helps me the most), exercise, and taking care of yourself. That whole letting go of that which you cannot control is pretty damn good too.

I've been trying to avoid taking any sleeping pills, but if it doesn't get better and I really have to, I will.

I got out of the habit of writing in a journal every night a few years back... but I might try to get that going again. Almost like a to do list, I'm trying to keep a datebook. I try this every year, but usually fall out of the habit of keeping it up to date after a few months. I'm going to really try this year. I'm really trying to take care of myself, and my room mate this semester is a athlete so maybe she'll help encourage me to exercise.

Thanks for the good tips

Letting go of what I can't control is pretty difficult, but I'll of course do my best.

 

[intothewoods]

I've been trying to avoid taking any sleeping pills, but if it doesn't get better and I really have to, I will.

I got out of the habit of writing in a journal every night a few years back... but I might try to get that going again. Almost like a to do list, I'm trying to keep a datebook. I try this every year, but usually fall out of the habit of keeping it up to date after a few months. I'm going to really try this year. I'm really trying to take care of myself, and my room mate this semester is a athlete so maybe she'll help encourage me to exercise.

Thanks for the good tips

Letting go of what I can't control is pretty difficult, but I'll of course do my best.

Well, don't stress yourself out trying to keep a journal. I've done that too! Do little things - even just stretching and doing a couple yoga moves will release little feel good endorphins. Seriously. Make it easy. Make the "journal" a sketch pad next to your bed, and just jot a few things down. It's not like this is something you have to do perfectly. It's whatever works for you.

As for the pills, hmm, in school it might be hard to get a doctor who can manage this, but the idea should be to take a limited supply just to train your body to get back into a healthy sleep schedule.

 

[00Syd]

Well, don't stress yourself out trying to keep a journal. I've done that too! Do little things - even just stretching and doing a couple yoga moves will release little feel good endorphins. Seriously. Make it easy. Make the "journal" a sketch pad next to your bed, and just jot a few things down. It's not like this is something you have to do perfectly. It's whatever works for you.

As for the pills, hmm, in school it might be hard to get a doctor who can manage this, but the idea should be to take a limited supply just to train your body to get back into a healthy sleep schedule.

Right now I'm just a little ball of mess, but it feels like I'm on the right track just to be thinking about things to help. I've been writing in my journal, still sporadically, but more often that I used to, and I think if I got into the habit again it could really be good. I promise I won't stress out about it, though! I'll be too busy stressing out about homework =P

Like I said, I have a better class schedule this semester, so that might get me sleeping better all on its own, but if it doesn't, I'll look at other options.







P.S. This thread feels so lonely! Having other people in here would make me feel much less pathetic

 

[im_a_voyeur]

I was recently told by a dr. that Restoril is a better choice as a sleeping pill then Ambien. "Ambien kills brain cells," is what he said and I tend to agree that Ambien does have a lot of negative effects.

 

[midwestyankee]

<snip>



P.S. This thread feels so lonely! Having other people in here would make me feel much less pathetic

I've noticed that I feel remarkably more stable, potent, and with-it when my golf game is going well.

 

[intothewoods]

P.S. This thread feels so lonely! Having other people in here would make me feel much less pathetic

Me too!

 

[intothewoods]

I've noticed that I feel remarkably more stable, potent, and with-it when my golf game is going well.

Ha ha. You are such a wasp.

 

[tbaycouple]

What a great idea for a thread

Support and hugs for all who need them!

 

[midwestyankee]

Ha ha. You are such a wasp.

I don't think it counts if you can only claim one of the letters by birth.

 

[Netzach]

The other day, M came home in the kind of mood that has often led to talk of divorce, suicide, mayhem, explosions, general breakdown.

And I managed to do the only right thing, the hardest thing in the fucking world.

I said "I love you, I'm leaving you alone, now."

I wavered, I was panicking, wanted to open...door...called T, my lover/stud/top etc.

Said "I need an adult voice to tell me everything's OK, and to leave M alone"

which he did, in magananimous supportive (he hates when I call him Daddy, but he is) way.

Gah! That's SO unnatural. But I did it. Even if I did have to summon a minion to help out, it's pretty good.

A half hour asleep with his head on his desk and he was a new man, which happens ninety percent of the time.

Slowly I am weaning myself off of the codependent panicking behind the scenes me sometimes outside of bed way the women in my family are. This is hard shit. Getting hitched and working from home has brought out this weird sort of hover nagging pseudo pleaser vibe in me that's very un helpful.

 

[intothewoods]

Slowly I am weaning myself off of the codependent panicking behind the scenes me sometimes outside of bed way the women in my family are. This is hard shit. Getting hitched and working from home has brought out this weird sort of hover nagging pseudo pleaser vibe in me that's very un helpful.

Good for you. I have this too, and it suuuuuucks. I have a hard time just letting things be. I just want to fix it NOW! Even with my ex, it's a huge problem. I seriously end up in a corner repeating, I am not responsible for his feelings. I am not responsible for his feelings. I am not responsible for his feelings.

 

[00Syd]

I've noticed that I feel remarkably more stable, potent, and with-it when my golf game is going well.

I think my equivalent would be if I was writing. I'm almost starting to write again...

 

[naxalite0906]

Yes! Writing things down can help you see things in a different way at times. You might make a list of steps, and do one at at a time, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the entire task at hand. Cognitive therapy, with a good therapist, is also helpful, and different from writing it out or talking to friends. A good therapist will help you look at things in a different way, ask yourself tough questions, help you find out what's holding you back.

I am pretty sure what is holding me back... But right now it feels like a catch 22 situation to change that..

As for writing it all down.. I've written it down so many times, it has no effect any more.

Good idea for a thread tho

 

[midwestyankee]

I think my equivalent would be if I was writing. I'm almost starting to write again...

Almost?

 

[00Syd]

Almost?

I'm writing really sporadically, and when I do its pretty lazy. I don't know hoe to describe it. Even when I write something it feels like I haven't written anything at all.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm writing really sporadically, and when I do its pretty lazy. I don't know hoe to describe it. Even when I write something it feels like I haven't written anything at all.

What is it about your writing that feels lazy? Are you thinking that it's only writing if you'd consider submitting it for publication after a single draft?

You know that writing helps you. Perhaps it helps get you centered, or maybe it's a way of releasing demons that can't find their own damn way out into the light? Either way, it's something that would be good in your life on a regular basis, right?

Is it this sense that it isn't good enough getting in the way of doing more writing? If so, I can sympathize fully. Been there and lived that. I even have the tee shirts (sorry, they're not for public distribution as they're all stained by running sweat).

So what are you going to do about this?

 

[00Syd]

What is it about your writing that feels lazy? Are you thinking that it's only writing if you'd consider submitting it for publication after a single draft?

You know that writing helps you. Perhaps it helps get you centered, or maybe it's a way of releasing demons that can't find their own damn way out into the light? Either way, it's something that would be good in your life on a regular basis, right?

Is it this sense that it isn't good enough getting in the way of doing more writing? If so, I can sympathize fully. Been there and lived that. I even have the tee shirts (sorry, they're not for public distribution as they're all stained by running sweat).

So what are you going to do about this?

Its complicated. I've been having a mini identity crisis as far as writing goes. I'm starting to doubt whether I'm a writer at all. I've called myself a writer my whole life but can't remember the last time I wrote something that wasn't for a school assignment. I tried to start writing again this summer but for the most part its just been bitching about how much I feel like a failure at life. The only "idea" i've had in years is to try and adapt this book I love into a screenplay, which is what I've been focusing on for the last few weeks. Like, today I was like.. I'm going to sit down and type up the story and then after an hour I realized that all i was doing was typing up a crappy short version of the book and it felt like i hadn't done anything at all. none of it was from my own head, none of it was my idea. It sucks. I don't really know what the problem is.

Edit: That was an intense ramble, not sure if it made any sense.

 

[desertslave]

It's so damned frustrating to know what's wrong, know what you need to fix it, and to not be able to do a damn thing about it!

I'm a painslut. Most of the time I cheerfully embrace the concept, but when I can't get my fix for a while, I'm just as bad as any other junkie. My life has been a crazy roller coaster since May. First we were just 'busy,' then the kids got out of school, then I ended up in the hospital with something not entirely surprising but still serious and which puts a permanent catch in our lifestyle, plus a few hopefully-temporary complications.

Next we had a much-anticipated vacation which wasn't all that relaxing, coupled with the unpleasant realization that my Mom is definitely starting to deteriorate. I'm far away so it's frustrating and worrisome.

We've been home a few weeks since vacation and I've had no ambition to do much of anything. I'm painfully aware of what has to be done, and what I want to accomplish, but the enthusiasm is lacking. I have a big-deal thing going on this weekend and I'm not prepared (and it's my own fault). I'm on the ragged edge between trying to "cope" with, well, everything, and not having my normal, helpful swimming-in-pain take-me-apart-and-put-me-back-together-again solution.

The irony is, BOTH kids will be back in school on Monday, we might should have some playtime, but I have to prepare for a trip I REALLY want to take. Somehow I have to have my act fully together this weekend, so I can get to indulge on Monday, but I have to get through the damn weekend first! Arrrgh!

There are days when I really wish I was nice, uncomplicated vanilla.

 

[LifelongCyn]

The question in my case is:

Is there any point writing about all of my feelings when I am pretty sure why I feel like this and what I can do about it?

Having people on here who care is such a wonderful thing But I am pretty sure what the answers from everyone will be, and it is my own fault for never changing things.

Depression sure does suck tho..

I'm right there with you. My last foray into cognitive therapy ended in a sort of stale mate.
I've tried journaling, but I always feel like a total whiner and stop because I can't stand myself. I guess I'm not ready to make a change yet, so for now I'm self-medicating with hard exercise.

 

[Netzach]

I've been pretty depressed and have had very little energy since about October. I also have some serious issues with insomnia that have been going on for much, much longer. I can't remember the last time I felt really awake. I know that some sort of physical activity would help, but just getting myself together to leave the house takes enough of what little energy I have.

I just switched my birth control to see if that was what was causing my depression, but I haven't been on the new pill long enough to be able to tell. If nothing changes I'm going to try going off the pill entirely to see if thats what's causing it. I made sure I had a good schedule this upcoming semester, so hopefully I'll be able to get myself on a more normal sleep cycle. No more 2am radio shows for me! I'm also planning on asking my schools counseling center for a referral to a real shrink once I get back to school.

I also have some pretty serious stress issues, and am terrible at dealing with all my assignments at school without at least a few minor panic attacks each semester. ITW, I see that you have issues with stress so maybe you have some suggestions on how to handle it?

I guess thats all... I wish I knew more so I could help others, but I'm still trying to learn how to deal with my own problems. Once I do, I hope I'll be able to help someone else.

I had a lot of this kind of stuff in college. A LOT. I hate to be the "when you're older" asshole, but a lot of people have biochemistry that freaks out in your early 20's - for some people it stays really whacked and for others it rights itself again. I had serious anxiety attacks my freshman year end and by junior year I was pretty much done with them and haven't needed xanax to wrangle the anxiety since.

You sound like you're pretty proactive about doing things - it may simply iron itself out a bit more over time, you'll refine your plan and find things that work. Hang in there.