Secret Womanly Rituals

[3113]

Ladies, I've offered the men a glimpse of they'll do the like with us and their "Secret Manly Rituals." Got any that you'd care to share for the sake of better, gender relationships?

 

[Vermilion]

I do olive oil conditioning treatments on my hair. I rub olive oil in, wrap clingfilm round my head and then do housework while I wait for it to sink in.

I also clean the shower naked, since I'm going to get dripped on.

I bake things when I'm stressed then give them to other people to eat to save me from myself... most of the time.

When I need chocolate, but have none in the house, I make chocolate sauce out of cocoa powder, golden syrup and butter and eat it still hot and runny.

I listen to a radio soap called 'The Archers' every night before bed as a bedtime story.

Are these the sort of things you mean?

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[3113]

I do olive oil conditioning treatments on my hair. I rub olive oil in, wrap clingfilm round my head and then do housework while I wait for it to sink in.

Does it work?

I think those will do for a start.

We can discuss the ultra-secret lesbian encounters in the ladies restroom when we get something equally interesting from the guys.

 

[Vermilion]

I do olive oil conditioning treatments on my hair. I rub olive oil in, wrap clingfilm round my head and then do housework while I wait for it to sink in.

Does it work?

I think those will do for a start.

We can discuss the ultra-secret lesbian encounters in the ladies restroom when we get something equally interesting from the guys.

It does. I get a very dry itchy scalp, especially with the central heating in the winter. If I do the olive oil thing, then rinse with a 1:20 vinegar solution then my head stops itching, plus I have lovely shiny hair.

And yeah, the chaps aren't being very forthcoming, are they?
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[voluptuary_manque]

I do olive oil conditioning treatments on my hair. I rub olive oil in, wrap clingfilm round my head and then do housework while I wait for it to sink in.

It does. I get a very dry itchy scalp, especially with the central heating in the winter. If I do the olive oil thing, then rinse with a 1:20 vinegar solution then my head stops itching, plus I have lovely shiny hair.

And yeah, the chaps aren't being very forthcoming, are they?
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V

Because we don't have any. We said that.

 

[Vermilion]

I believe you - thousands wouldn't

 

[impressive]

We can discuss the ultra-secret lesbian encounters in the ladies restroom when we get something equally interesting from the guys.

Those are supposed to be secret?

Um, rituals ...

After showering, but before I dry off, I rub scented oil all over my body. Keeps me soft.

 

[cloudy]

We can discuss the ultra-secret lesbian encounters in the ladies restroom when we get something equally interesting from the guys.

ooh, imp and I did the ritual ladies restroom thing while we were in Baltimore.

(embarrassed the hell out of matriarch)

 

[JagFarlane]

I believe you - thousands wouldn't

So we noticed LOL

 

[DesertPirate]

ooh, imp and I did the ritual ladies restroom thing while we were in Baltimore.

(embarrassed the hell out of matriarch)

I'd love to see the expressions coming out.

Now can someone give the real explanation for going to the bathroom in pairs?

 

[Vermilion]

I'd love to see the expressions coming out.

Now can someone give the real explanation for going to the bathroom in pairs?

It's when we dissect the date - basically bitch about you guys in private

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[DesertPirate]

It's when we dissect the date - basically bitch about you guys in private

x
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That is more believable than anything I've gotten from my wife or three daughters in 25 years

 

[voluptuary_manque]

It's when we dissect the date - basically bitch about you guys in private

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I believe that, I absolutely believe that!

 

[3113]

It's when we dissect the date - basically bitch about you guys in private

Now, now. We're being honest. Don't leave out the important part of the ritual. It's done like this and in this order, at least in the West: Enter the stalls and do what needs to be done while bitching about the date and plotting out our strategy for the rest of the evening (this may or may not include blueprints passed from one stall to the other along with toilet paper). Come out, engage in hot, lesbian kisses with any willing ladies who happens to be standing in front of the mirror, then fix hair and make-up. If there's time, light a candle to the statue of Kali. Ask goddess to watch over you and take terrible, bloody vengeance on said date if he fucks up.

That's why it usually takes us so long, by the way.

 

[JagFarlane]

It's when we dissect the date - basically bitch about you guys in private

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Oddly thats not so mucha a suprise to me

 

[fieryjen]

I do olive oil conditioning treatments on my hair. I rub olive oil in, wrap clingfilm round my head and then do housework while I wait for it to sink in.

It does. I get a very dry itchy scalp, especially with the central heating in the winter. If I do the olive oil thing, then rinse with a 1:20 vinegar solution then my head stops itching, plus I have lovely shiny hair.

And yeah, the chaps aren't being very forthcoming, are they?
x
V

I really need to try that, as my scalp has been just the same for the past few winters. I blame the annoying Midwest climate.

 

[cloudy]

I really need to try that, as my scalp has been just the same for the past few winters. I blame the annoying Midwest climate.

Mayonnaise works too.

 

[fieryjen]

Mayonnaise works too.

Thank you.

 

[lisa123414]

In college, we used to wash our hair in what was left of the previous evening's kegger. Beautiful hair but smelled like a brewry Oh well, it did attract a certain element!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

In college, we used to wash our hair in what was left of the previous evening's kegger. Beautiful hair but smelled like a brewry Oh well, it did attract a certain element!

It would certainly have attracted me!

 

[neonlyte]

I was hoping to wake with a clear understanding of why "I'm ready" involves me standing by the front door with the car keys for 45 minutes while strange noises emanate from various parts of the house AND an explanation for why having driven 500 yards we have to return to the house for: 'flowers/chocolates/address/invitation/underwear/tickets/other shoes/cardigan' - please strike out the one that doesn't apply.

Instead, I get tips for washing hair - the entire thread is Women's Ritual

 

[Guest]

The making you wait with the jingling car keys is a response to your first passive/agressive jingle.

Also a power play in the classic D/s sense.

You see, historically we have the alpha male and the beta femme, but it is all a ruse on us sneaky devious female types.

In early society (back to the first homosapiens) the big dumb males went out to hunt while the larger-bained, complex brained females stayed back and swept the caves. We made you do all the work and face the dangers of the snaggytooth tiger and such so we could stay in the caves and plot. Oh yeah, we had the world population to deal with too, as well as creating the society.

You've always been in our power. *grin* The really evil thing, we made you believe otherwise. That way we could hang around and eat monkey brains (neanderthal bonbons).

Move ahead a few thousand years to the recent past, and we are still in power. Mr. John Q Robinson works his ass off all day for the Evil Mrs. Robinson, so after she has seduced the neighbour boy into cleaning the house for the privelige of wearing her frilly underwear, (that is after he's finished with the pool and the lawn) she has sent out for Dial A Dinner, or pops in another female invention - TV dinners - she greets her exhausted, Type A man-on-his-way-up (who can't get it up) fresh and pretty, with a drink in hand, so that she stupefies him in the evening hours so he cannot exercize his filthy manly desires. Years of this and he pops off with a stroke or something and she gets the money so she can hire the boytoy she really wants.

The problem with present day is that women got lazy and the insane idea that we should bring ourselves down to the level of our chomosonally challenged folk caught on among some strange revolutionary movement led by a woman with some strange notions that men were equal to us.

heh heh heh heh

The revolutionaries are dead and the world will soon turn back to th proper way of things.

Which is making you wait at the door, cursing our mysterious feminine incapability to be "ready" when you are.

News for you gentlemen - we're way ahead of you. :wink:

E.T.A Beer hair is just one of our little mind control tricks.

 

[sweetness6280]

You see, historically we have the alpha male and the beta femme, but it is all a ruse on us sneaky devious female types.

You've always been in our power. *grin* The really evil thing, we made you believe otherwise. That way we could hang around and eat monkey brains (neanderthal bonbons).

News for you gentlemen - we're way ahead of you. :wink:

This reminds me of a discussion in class one day about phallic power in literature. This 46 yr old woman shocked an entire room of much younger students (and her 31 year old professor) by countering that although the men believe they possess the power, the true power resides where it always has and always will... the pussy.

It took about 5 minutes to quiet the uproar. And looking back, the prof was not all that shocked... he just laughed and said, "You may be right."

 

[voluptuary_manque]

May? May? What a purblind, fatuous cretin! Endless stupid question at parties "How did you two meet?" We were in the dorms. Dorms had a coed lounge. Other guys were giving girls backrubs in hopes of getting inside their clothes. I bought a book on massage and memorized it. (Yeah, I can do shit like that) Put book to work on hot looking chick with loooonnnng dark hair. "I do" End of question. How did it happen? Hell,I don't know, I'm just the guy. And no, we don't have any rituals.

 

[Guest]

I lick Mr. Fun Toy after I'm done...

Maharat