Daddy Doms....are there any real ones?

[bonnie_baby]

1/29/08 no longer seeking...




Guess what it comes down too is needing a little encouragement

I've had many respond to my personal ad

~that are here today and gone tomorrow
~or that have committed to me only to continue to seek other little girls after fully understanding that i'd be the only one
~...and of course you know the ones that reply to me seeking sexual play with nothing else to offer
~and the innocent ones that probably had good intentions but we just didn't click

Where is my DaddyDom? The one that will take care of me and help me with my problems that I'm having. I want to please a real man who wants to be my Daddy...Are you out there?

*heavy sigh

(sorry this is a double post from the personal ads...wanted this to be a discussion so i posted here where I wanting it to be in the first place)

 

[ecstaticsub]

My advice is to be very patient. You are looking for someone to love, care and protect you. That kind of relationship takes time to build.

Also you mention what you want from him, what are you offering? He needs to know he will get something in return for all the time and effort it takes to protect and care for you.

I wish you luck!

 

[bonnie_baby]

My advice is to be very patient. You are looking for someone to love, care and protect you. That kind of relationship takes time to build.

Also you mention what you want from him, what are you offering? He needs to know he will get something in return for all the time and effort it takes to protect and care for you.

I wish you luck!

Thank you for your post ecstaticsub I will definitely try to be more patient...that is good advice.

And to answer your question...I would offer my love, devotion, respect and would obey. I would strive to make him happy and do whatever he asks of me. Even would enjoy being his dirty little girl

But..you are right..it takes time to develop the relationship and I should give it lots of time

 

[Primalex]

wanted this to be a discussion

Well, first of all you have to consider the problems of finding a "normal" partner. After all, even straight normal people ask the very same question, where their match is.

Then you have to add the following complications:

a) Demographics show this is not really the place where people around 60 hang around. (Please don't waste your time telling me you would know a lot of people in this age area. This "a lot" is nothing compared to the overall visitors.)

If you like muscle man, you don't head to the library.

b) You are married, but he should be available each day and should be monogamous.

c) You like to contradict yourself. You quote an article where specifically is mentioned, that physical age is not the key for a Daddydom relationship and that Daddydom does not mean "father replacement", yet you insist that he is much older physically and that you would like to have him as such a replacment, as you missed out being daddys little girl.

Of course it is perfectly fine to just like older guys and to just want a much older Daddydom. But saying one thing, then saying "read this", where something else is written, is.. not really convincing.

For me, it does sound like you are Anna Nicole Smith looking for Howard Marschall, not that you want to be taught, guided, molded and punished if necessary.

d) Most males neither like skins and bones nor obeseness.

e) You have no patience. I might consider a deeper relationship maybe after knowing someone for a few weeks. You seem to expect a full commitment after a few days. Fact is that deep emotional bindings take time and without them, you won't have anything that you can call "Daddydom" relationship. This "Hey, do you want to be my Daddydom?" doesn't work. Such an attitude works if you want a guy for the cinema.



Just my honest opinion. Feel free to hate me for it.

 

[bonnie_baby]

Well, first of all you have to consider the problems of finding a "normal" partner. After all, even straight normal people ask the very same question, where their match is.


Then you have to add the following complications:

a) Demographics show this is not really the place where people around 60 hang around. (Please don't waste your time telling me you would know a lot of people in this age area. This "a lot" is nothing compared to the overall visitors.)

If you like muscle man, you don't head to the library.

b) You are married, but he should be available each day and should be monogamous. (I would actually prefer that he be married...where are you getting this monogomous shit?? not sure where you came up with this idea) It helps if we are both married so that we can make sure that we keep our off line lives healthy and happy first and foremost...

c) You like to contradict yourself. You quote an article where specifically is mentioned, that physical age is not the key for a Daddydom relationship and that Daddydom does not mean "father replacement", yet you insist that he is much older physically and that you would like to have him as such a replacment, as you missed out being daddys little girl.

The article that I quoted is a guideline only...I don't expect to find something exactly 100% what was in there. As far as the age, it's also a guideline. I am very attracted to older men physically and mentally..it's not a deal breaker though and I have talked to younger men than what I have posted..much younger. "father replacement"...no....there is not one person in the universe that could replace my father...ever..i miss him terribly and you have no idea what the circumstances are. I missed out on being talked sweet to...being cuddled, being said "i love you" to...It's those type of things that I need the void filled....

Of course it is perfectly fine to just like older guys and to just want a much older Daddydom. But saying one thing, then saying "read this", where something else is written, is.. not really convincing.

I know they aren't my words....but the reason i quote that is because the person that wrote it did such a beautiful job explaining it. I would not have been able to write something as lovely and I'm sorry you feel it was wrong of me to quote it.

For me, it does sound like you are Anna Nicole Smith looking for Howard Marschall, not that you want to be taught, guided, molded and punished if necessary.

d) Most males neither like skins and bones nor obeseness.
I'm not sure what you are saying...I'm skin and bones or I am obese?

e) You have no patience. I might consider a deeper relationship maybe after knowing someone for a few weeks. You seem to expect a full commitment after a few days. Fact is that deep emotional bindings take time and without them, you won't have anything that you can call "Daddydom" relationship. This "Hey, do you want to be my Daddydom?" doesn't work. Such an attitude works if you want a guy for the cinema.
Now that I will agree with...I don't have a lot of patience and I am going to take a step back and work on that.

Just my honest opinion. Feel free to hate me for it.

I don't hate you...although I'm not real crazy about how you seem to have assumed what I want, who I am and where I'm coming from. I can see why from my posts that I'm asking for perfection...but again,,,,these are just guidelines..the article..the ages, etc....The relationship itself would be unique to the two of us and we could make our own path...

 

[HottieMama]

There are good ones out there. Trust me on that one. **smiles**

i might suggest that you take out the "label" of Daddy from your search for a Dom. There are many Doms that fit all of the "Daddy qualifications" and may just not identify themselves as such. You will find that this is an area of D/s that is often misunderstood or met with opposition. Some Doms avoid the "label" for exactly that reason when describing themselves.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Just my honest opinion. Feel free to hate me for it.

[hijack]
Which demonstrates once again that the odds of someone behaving like an obnoxious asshole approach 1:1 when they feel the need to express that they are just stating their honest opinion and are expecting people to hate them for it.
[/hijack]

 

[bonnie_baby]

There are good ones out there. Trust me on that one. **smiles**

i might suggest that you take out the "label" of Daddy from your search for a Dom. There are many Doms that fit all of the "Daddy qualifications" and may just not identify themselves as such. You will find that this is an area of D/s that is often misunderstood or met with opposition. Some Doms avoid the "label" for exactly that reason when describing themselves.

Oh!!! I never really thought of it that way. I mean...that a regular Dom could be the one...that we could both meet each others needs in that way.

Thank you so much HottieMama!

 

[HottieMama]

Oh!!! I never really thought of it that way. I mean...that a regular Dom could be the one...that we could both meet each others needs in that way.

Thank you so much HottieMama!

You are most welcome, bonnie. i know for me, if i didn't take the "Daddy" out of my search, i wouldn't be nearly as happy as i am now. i would hate to see you miss an opportunity to be with someone wonderful just because they don't identify with that word.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Just lemme tell you I know very well where you coming from. ~smiles~

Is it bad that you want to be loved, cared for a pampered? NO, not at all!!

I understand what you long for cuz I long just for the same. I was married just as you are, but I still missed someone who would "really" care. I missed someone who would listen to me, quide me and let me be there for him, someone who would enjoy me as much as I would enjoy him. Someone who would need/want me around, someone who would look forward to see me and all that.

I dunno how good your marriage is? but I can just say your husband should give you all of this. He should make you feel loved and cared for and all that. Same as mine husband should have make me feel this way. Sadly I felt ignored, neglected and useless, so I was looking for a Dom too and I have found one yes. It was just a matter of time since he became my Daddy Dom and in many ways it made me satisfied and it helped me to feel better yes, so I understand why are you looking for one and why are you maybe a bit impatient.

I am sure there are good Daddy Dom's around here, seems like you just didnt meet the right one yet. Give it a time, take it easy and you will surely find him. I didnt find mine, he have found me, I was lucky.

Hope you will find your Daddy Dom soon, good luck and dont give up!!

 

[bonnie_baby]

You are most welcome, bonnie. i know for me, if i didn't take the "Daddy" out of my search, i wouldn't be nearly as happy as i am now. i would hate to see you miss an opportunity to be with someone wonderful just because they don't identify with that word.

((((((HottieMama))))))))

OMG..you are an angel. How sweet of you to give me such good advice.

 

[bonnie_baby]

Just lemme tell you I know very well where you coming from. ~smiles~

Is it bad that you want to be loved, cared for a pampered? NO, not at all!!

I understand what you long for cuz I long just for the same. I was married just as you are, but I still missed someone who would "really" care. I missed someone who would listen to me, quide me and let me be there for him, someone who would enjoy me as much as I would enjoy him. Someone who would need/want me around, someone who would look forward to see me and all that.

I dunno how good your marriage is? but I can just say your husband should give you all of this. He should make you feel loved and cared for and all that. Same as mine husband should have make me feel this way. Sadly I felt ignored, neglected and useless, so I was looking for a Dom too and I have found one yes. It was just a matter of time since he became my Daddy Dom and in many ways it made me satisfied and it helped me to feel better yes, so I understand why are you looking for one and why are you maybe a bit impatient.

I am sure there are good Daddy Dom's around here, seems like you just didnt meet the right one yet. Give it a time, take it easy and you will surely find him. I didnt find mine, he have found me, I was lucky.

Hope you will find your Daddy Dom soon, good luck and dont give up!!

Wow....you totally get me...or so it appears.
My husband doesn't want to be my Dom...he wants nothing to do with "that crap" *sigh

I will give it time as you say...that is my one downfall..patience

thanks sweetie

 

[Primalex]

[hijack]
Which demonstrates once again that the odds of someone behaving like an obnoxious asshole approach 1:1 when they feel the need to express that they are just stating their honest opinion and are expecting people to hate them for it.
[/hijack]

It just demonstrates that the writer is well aware that some bitch will come along and whine.

 

[~His Kitten~]

Never settle.

Wait for the right one. You'll know it when you find him. Don't settle until then, wait and dream.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

It just demonstrates that the writer is well aware that some bitch will come along and whine.

*snort*

 

[Etoile]

I agree with HM, don't mention "Daddy" in your search. Although there are Daddies out there - I have been with mine for almost 8 years - it's hard to find them because a lot of people assume the wrong things about D/g relationships. Just look for a dominant, and see if the vibe you get is the right one. Then you can broach the Daddy topic.

 

[smotherman]

It just demonstrates that the writer is well aware that some bitch will come along and whine.

LOL

Well said!

 

[bonnie_baby]

Never settle.

Wait for the right one. You'll know it when you find him. Don't settle until then, wait and dream.

I'm definitely not settling (perhaps that's why I'm getting impatient)

Thank you His Kitten I will wait for the right one to come along.

 

[bonnie_baby]

I agree with HM, don't mention "Daddy" in your search. Although there are Daddies out there - I have been with mine for almost 8 years - it's hard to find them because a lot of people assume the wrong things about D/g relationships. Just look for a dominant, and see if the vibe you get is the right one. Then you can broach the Daddy topic.

I have received many pms and a few posts to this effect. I may have to go back and re-word or re=post a personal ad when I've thought about this a little more.



Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts here. I really appreciate it.

 

[bonnie_baby]

LOL

Well said!

It might be well said but what does it have to do with the subject matter

He still hasn't answered my other post where I have asked him where he got the incorrect information ? Not that I'm holding my breath...maybe he just likes to hear himself talk..? or just had a bad experience with a little one?

also, and it seems as though there is a feud between a few posters here. just wondering...do you really need to have it out on mine and other's threads?? oh well

 

[Netzach]

Get in line. People are looking for compatible people for everything under the sun.

Do you think it's easy to find anyone for anything?

Do you think most of the successful or semi-successful relationships on this board which began online began with "sigh, where are the GOOD ones?"

The smaller your niche the harder it is to find someone who fits it. Having a personality we can see is more attractive than sighing in your virtual tower for your prince. Doubly so if you are looking for all this online I imagine, where text is your best and only real friend, yes?

Right now all I know is that you want some Daddy action and you want help solving problems. I have no clue what you propose to bring to the table and there are many like you - you are the sister of "Where are all the REAL Mistresses, sigh" which some boy posts online a million times a day. Don't be that guy's female counterpart.

I don't know that I'd take the Daddy thing off the table right away, but I'd be looking more for whether this person is a Dom (self identified) and whether you can stand their company and have a lot to talk about or not. I'd also be scrutinizing MUCH harder about how you and he are going to maintain your boundaries. I have no objections to extramarital whatever inherently - I just know that people without good game plans and good communication fuck that up really bad, and people who have good game plans and as perfect as possible communications can maintain their needs as they must.

This is clearly not the warm fuzzy you were hoping for, but I will offer this in the way of encouragement: there IS a lid for every pot, don't settle but really don't overlook stuff that isn't what you think you want on the basis of one or two criteria and a few assumptions.

 

[bonnie_baby]

Get in line. People are looking for compatible people for everything under the sun.

Do you think it's easy to find anyone for anything?

Do you think most of the successful or semi-successful relationships on this board which began online began with "sigh, where are the GOOD ones?"

The smaller your niche the harder it is to find someone who fits it. Having a personality we can see is more attractive than sighing in your virtual tower for your prince. Doubly so if you are looking for all this online I imagine, where text is your best and only real friend, yes?

Right now all I know is that you want some Daddy action and you want help solving problems. I have no clue what you propose to bring to the table and there are many like you - you are the sister of "Where are all the REAL Mistresses, sigh" which some boy posts online a million times a day. Don't be that guy's female counterpart.

I don't know that I'd take the Daddy thing off the table right away, but I'd be looking more for whether this person is a Dom (self identified) and whether you can stand their company and have a lot to talk about or not. I'd also be scrutinizing MUCH harder about how you and he are going to maintain your boundaries. I have no objections to extramarital whatever inherently - I just know that people without good game plans and good communication fuck that up really bad, and people who have good game plans and as perfect as possible communications can maintain their needs as they must.

This is clearly not the warm fuzzy you were hoping for, but I will offer this in the way of encouragement: there IS a lid for every pot, don't settle but really don't overlook stuff that isn't what you think you want on the basis of one or two criteria and a few assumptions.

No..it's fine...I wanted opinions. Thank you..I have a lot to think about. I have answered most of the things in this thread that you question as they were asked previously. See...it really does help to see this from the outside looking in...thank you for your comments...appreciated

 

[Chris_Xavier]

One thing you might think about doing is "fluffing up" your profile. Post a pic, be a bit more specific in your location, etc.

 

[Etoile]

It might be well said but what does it have to do with the subject matter

He still hasn't answered my other post where I have asked him where he got the incorrect information ? Not that I'm holding my breath...maybe he just likes to hear himself talk..? or just had a bad experience with a little one?

also, and it seems as though there is a feud between a few posters here. just wondering...do you really need to have it out on mine and other's threads?? oh well

Welcome to Lit, heh. People squabble all over the board every day. It's very unusual for a thread to stay 100% on topic - don't feel bad, it's not you. And yeah, some people here do just like to hear themselves talk. And some are bitter, too, for whatever personal reasons they may have. It's not personal, some people are jerks, and some people respond to jerks, and the cycle goes round and round every day.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Anything for Daddy....

Hey!! *waves and smiles*

LOL this thread got outrageous....

Okay-

1.) Daddy Dom...

I have talked to several guys who call themselves "Daddies", I enjoy this form of dominant as well, and have to agree with the other ladies, I'd take daddy out, or at least make it less of the focus...

I'd say like, "I am seeking a nurturing, supportive dominant" and then maybe as a PS say, "I am open to the idea of a DaddyDom" so that you appeal to both types...

2.) Some guys don't like the whole Daddy thing, but are actually this kind of dominant... (especially the fact that some actually have small(ish) children at home and get all freaked out by being called "daddy" by their pyl)... even though they ARE...

Now... as far as not living up to your expectations or their promices... That's a lot of Dominants or any other kind of potential mates... and though we want these guys to be honorable and honest, and live up to their ideals and promices.... eh... I honestly expect them not to, and this way don't get too crushed when they don't.

So this whole say one thing and do another is not just something the "fake Daddies" do...I have seen it is mostly about sex for a lot of these online Doms...

Why don't you consider branching out in your local "scene"...

Well Baby,
Best Wishes on your quest...

Remember that:
"what's right isn't always popular, and whatever is popular isn't always right"

I hate how people don't understand something so they shove their head further into the dirt and spout off misconceptions, as opposed to being open minded, and educating themself about something they don't understand, they are rather content following the herd... it would be easyer if I didn't have to hear it...