Males, how do you feel about sexually / socially dominant women?

[RUbensBeautY]

Ripping off WriterDom. Your question about submissive men got me thinking and curious.

Gentlemen - submissive or otherwise,

How do you feel about sexually dominant women?

How do you feel about socially dominant ones?



I am looking forward to your opinions. Thank you for taking the time and sharing.

 

[goodguy2nondfuk]

Arousing, intrigueing and desirable!

 

[Bengal52]

Women should be able to show power as strongly as men and should be rewarded with admiration for such efforts. Its also extremely sexy..

<-- says the switch....

 

[Lumberjacked]

Sexually dominant woman are simply amazing lovers. And that doesnt meant that the man has to give up ALL control, but rather, not be the aggressor. To sit back and watch a woman go for what she wants and not have you tell her otherwise is sexy as hell.

Socially dominant woman, I think, at times try too hard. That's not to say that women SHOULDNT be socially dominant, but they shouldnt let that define their character. Just as a socially dominant man shouldn't either. Woman in this particular role seem like they are trying too hard, like people, or maybe just men, would think less of them if they weren't that forceful. You should always defend yourself and be confident, but pushing every situation with sheer will gets tiring for all of those involved.

 

[Homburg]

Neutral.

When it comes to sexually dominant women, I tend to consider them outside my sexual demographic. We are simply not likely to have compatible sexual interests. Socially speaking, it depend son the individual. That said, the Fdoms I've dealt with in our munch group are generally a lot of fun. A couple of them in particular are a blast to hang out with, though we do tend to talk shop more than anything else.

Social dominance is also a careful neutral. I tend to not get along too awful well with a certain type of socially dominant female, but that is because that particular type is seen by me as 'putting on airs'. Not my thing. That said, I tend to dislike that style of social dominance in men too. Women that are socially dominant and genuine, I have no inherent trouble with.

 

[Netzach]

While I'm not a dude, I don't care for socially dominant women usually. I get along with my socially dominant sister in law well because I've simply made the choice to be the beta in those interactions.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm not a dude either. Surprise!

However from what I see many men, if not most are perfectly happy to have a woman be socially dominant. They prefer to play the hapless no nothing male being tugged along by the woman in charge.

God knows I keep track of everything and my husband has to keep track of very little in comparison socially.

Also at any Munch or other such meeting I usually come off as the most Dominant in the room. Why? Because I'm used to dealing with the public, being in charge and friendly. Most people seem to shrink from such things. I'm really happy when anyone else will step up to the plate and let me just assist!

I used to be a shrinking violet myself in public. I taught myself to be more up front because I was so painfully shy and, therefore lonely. I am not actually Dominant of course but let's just say people enjoy having me around. I make things happy. I'm a lot of fun, when I feel forced into that role.

 

[Bill3250]

Love the thread, and love women who are dominant in all ways. Would I leave my somewhat passive wife for such an ideal woman? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But if my wife gave me permission to have a fling with her (I'm sure she would) I'd consider it.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Obviously not a dude either, but since I fuck women, I figured I should be allowed to answer as well.

I tend to prefer socially dominant women than socially dominant men. And I'm happy if someone around wants to take charge -- even though I think I am probably considered a socially dominant women by most. But it's probably mostly because I call shit when I smell it.

Sexually, I much prefer submissive women. But I've been known to bottom to a few femdom.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Not a man but I love women

(I apologize if this screws with your results)

I am comfortable around socially dominant women, always have been. I like being around strong, capable types (both men and women) and that enjoyment stems from the fact that I like being around those like myself, socially. I don't like manipulative people..and I can spot them from 20 paces with no trouble, but I am sure that is not what you were questioning. So, yes. I like/love socially dominant women; women in control without being cunty or catty..women who are so confident within themselves that they do NOT have to be bitchy or manipulative to get the job done. It makes me happy to see women (or men) with that much control of their environment.

The same can be said for sexually dominant females (as I am one usually). The enjoyment for me (as a sometime bottom and all the time *giver*) is the woman who can say what she wants, with no qualms about how I may take it. That's just hot.

Obviously my vote was for loving both forms.

(For the record, I wasn't sure if by sexually dominant you were referring strictly to the *known* ideal of a Domme or if you were looking further afield. My thought process includes ANY woman who is comfortable enough in her skin to not be ashamed of her thoughts, feelings, emotions and who has the gumption to ask or demand that I give to her what is needed. To me whether that woman is submissive or Dominant, Top or bottom..if she knows what she wants sexually and finds others who can provide it..then she is acting with foresight, forethought and dominance. Others' mileage may vary)

 

[human_male]

You wouldn't know where you can get one, would you?

 

[unfoundiamond]

***I did wanna mention, in respect to the poll, I being a woman did not vote, but have been reading the thread... so hope its cool I post**

(I apologize if this screws with your results)

I am comfortable around socially dominant women, always have been. I like being around strong, capable types (both men and women) and that enjoyment stems from the fact that I like being around those like myself, socially. I don't like manipulative people..and I can spot them from 20 paces with no trouble, but I am sure that is not what you were questioning. So, yes. I like/love socially dominant women; women in control without being cunty or catty..women who are so confident within themselves that they do NOT have to be bitchy or manipulative to get the job done. It makes me happy to see women (or men) with that much control of their environment.

The same can be said for sexually dominant females (as I am one usually). The enjoyment for me (as a sometime bottom and all the time *giver*) is the woman who can say what she wants, with no qualms about how I may take it. That's just hot.

Obviously my vote was for loving both forms.

(For the record, I wasn't sure if by sexually dominant you were referring strictly to the *known* ideal of a Domme or if you were looking further afield. My thought process includes ANY woman who is comfortable enough in her skin to not be ashamed of her thoughts, feelings, emotions and who has the gumption to ask or demand that I give to her what is needed. To me whether that woman is submissive or Dominant, Top or bottom..if she knows what she wants sexually and finds others who can provide it..then she is acting with foresight, forethought and dominance. Others' mileage may vary)

I agree. I have never heard this idea explained so well...

Its hard to be socially dominant, and if you are sexually dominant sometimes that translates to rumors of being permiscuous or overly sexual... Or if you are socially dominant they call you "agressive"... and this isn't fair if you are a very peaceful, very masochistic person like me...

People don't realize being socially dominant and being receptive and sensitive to people aren't mutually exclusive...

Some socially dominant people are assholes, but others just express themself unclearly and get grouped into the "aggressive asshole" category...

Others are agressive assholes and they are manipulatve and hide it... those are the worst kind. I am trying to get out of a relationship with a person like that. A real rageaholic. Sexist, Racist, Bigoted, Homophobic (with a gay mother, lol I know...) and physically abusive to women come to find out...

Well he would tell you he is a dominant man. he would fight and probably kill to prove it, but he can't resist the temptation to be abusive insted of expressing his feelings.

The problem is, if he was a REALLY strong Dominant man, he would treat women with decency (not spiting on them or waiting untill the person is preganant to start threatning violence)

REAL men wouldn't treat women like this, because He(a real man) wouldn't need to make her cry or scared to feel good about himself.

Assholes treat women like that. PYL or not.

People who are sensitive and introspective but exrtoverted socially are diffrent.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Well there is 'spitting' and there is spitting .......

There is 'crying' and there is crying..........

Just feeling the need here to delineate the above in their separate potential contexts of D/s consensual or abusive .

It's the line in between, where things get rather intriguing : smiles :

I'll go out on a limb here and state that some completely 'decent' dominants savor eliciting both, with some genuine gratitude from their also entirely 'decent' submissives.

Mini hijack over

 

[coy_one]

Well there is 'spitting' and there is spitting .......

There is 'crying' and there is crying..........

Just feeling the need here to delineate the above in their separate potential contexts of D/s consensual or abusive .

It's the line in between, where things get rather intriguing : smiles :

I'll go out on a limb here and state that some completely 'decent' dominants savor eliciting both, with some genuine gratitude from their also entirely 'decent' submissives.

Mini hijack over

I agree with Rebecca.

I've come across Dommes that are aggressive to the point of being OVERLY Dominating.

I am an assertive woman and in social situations, I assert myself with confidence. I do have empathy, and choose my battles wisely as well. I also know how to judge a situation in which I know that I need to be the person to take the quiet role and just listen. I do not need to be the Top in all situations.

In the sexual context there are as many flavors of Dominant women.

I have found that men are mostly intrigued with a confident woman that can assert herself, atleast the ones that I've come across. But, there are some men that just don't like it. ONe of my closest friends is a Dom and he doesn't normally like Dommes.

 

[Lumberjacked]

It feels like we're having two different conversations. I think there is a distinct difference between Dominant and Confident. Confident is knowing your will and being comfortable with it. Dominant, to me at least, means imposing your will.

 

[Netzach]

I'm also not in this world to be liked.

I require a victim. An extremely willing victim, not a victim goaded into it in some kind of pathological way, but a victim nonetheless. Who knows that his job is to provide my catharsis as much as it might be my pleasure to provide his.

There's a point where sociable, smiling and can't we get along ends, socially, as well. I'm sure it's garnered me the label of bitch. I've been in business with men threatened by any woman who has the same job as they do and don't project sexual softness. It doesn't take much to be a bitch, just the wrong clothing, the wrong words, the wrong promotion.

 

[coy_one]

It feels like we're having two different conversations. I think there is a distinct difference between Dominant and Confident. Confident is knowing your will and being comfortable with it. Dominant, to me at least, means imposing your will.

Good point.

Dominant to me means taking control, asserting myself as being the leader. Whether it be projects and people in my company, or taking the lead in the bedroom. It means being confident with myself as leader.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

DIAMOND still persists with the delusion that archaeologists wont recognize who he is when they dig his ass up in 1000 years.

 

[FurryFury]

Good point.

Dominant to me means taking control, asserting myself as being the leader. Whether it be projects and people in my company, or taking the lead in the bedroom. It means being confident with myself as leader.

Yes, but, most people are not Dominant in ALL areas of their lives from what I've observed.

 

[FatherNature]

Hey if a woman can do her thing let her do it to the fullest I say.

 

[coy_one]

Yes, but, most people are not Dominant in ALL areas of their lives from what I've observed.

Very true. I'm just stating my definition of the word and how I relate to it.

 

[Life_Noir]

Neutral.

When it comes to sexually dominant women, I tend to consider them outside my sexual demographic. We are simply not likely to have compatible sexual interests. Socially speaking, it depend son the individual. That said, the Fdoms I've dealt with in our munch group are generally a lot of fun. A couple of them in particular are a blast to hang out with, though we do tend to talk shop more than anything else.

Social dominance is also a careful neutral. I tend to not get along too awful well with a certain type of socially dominant female, but that is because that particular type is seen by me as 'putting on airs'. Not my thing. That said, I tend to dislike that style of social dominance in men too. Women that are socially dominant and genuine, I have no inherent trouble with.

Pretty much ditto...

I have a rather intense dislike for those persons, male OR female, who mistake "Social Dominance" for being an obnoxious, pushy, asshole.

 

[Marquis]

I have a lot of love for sexually and socially dominant women in general, because I usually find myself either able to dominate them or coming to an amicable truce.

I don't consider myself an obnoxious asshole but my hammer hangs pretty fucking heavy and I can't say I feel dominated all that often, even by people who are known for being very dominant. There's nothing I love more than watching someone (male or female) with a chip on their shoulder throw a tantrum in frustration over their inability to make me lose my footing.

I also greatly appreciate the company of very alpha individuals who have the sense not to crack the ruler out every time they run into someone who might be about their size. There are relationships I want to have with subs and only subs, but a man cannot live on subs alone.

Of course, there is the occasional situation where someone is just bigger and badder than me, I don't realize it at first or don't know how to handle it and get caught with my pants down. I detest that shit, yes, but I'm getting better at accepting it.

 

[Byakuya]

I love it when women are sexually dominant! Like when my wife grabs the back of my head and fucks my face. I can't get enough of it!

Socially dominant women, on the other hand, annoy me. My mother-in-law is always pushing around her husband. We'll be eating dinner and she'll always be sending him off to get something for her. She phrases it like a question, but it's pretty clear that she wont' take no for a answer.

Like just tonight, he was sitting there eating his dinner, she came in and sat down, and then she says "can you go get me a drink?" So he puts down his silverware, gets up, walks around her, and goes to get her a drink.

Now if he was getting up anyway it'd be a different story. I'm not saying men shouldn't be gentlemen. But it's not a license to boss your man around.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I am neither a submissive, not much of a gentleman, but I'll answer here because the option isn't available.

I don't care one whit about whether a woman is a dominant woman, socially or sexually. I care about her character, her sense of humor, her intelligence, her integrity, her strength. If I like the woman, I like the woman. IF I don't, I don't.

Which side of the flogger she is on is irrelevant unless I happen to be holding the thing and want to use it on her, or she's holding it wanting to use it on me. THEN it becomes an issue for negotiation.