For men over 40....

[Willowbigirl]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

 

[m_and_em_stories]

Generically I think many men focus on family and careers to different degrees in their 20s and 30s, often toxically at the expense of their own personal wants and needs to benefit their family and career. After two decades of hard work, the combined effect of feeling you have succeeded in your role for your family, and now have the financial means and the time and energy to focus on themselfs and their own personal needs and wants. Thus the mid life crisis where men get blamed and demonized for many just finally caring about themselves.

Personally, A lot of complicated circumstances beyond that were also holding me back until recently. That and I really never planned my life much past 40 in any sort of detail. My list of goals and things to accomplish in my life somehow is down to only a few last things. So now what do I do with myself? Start adding things to the list I was too scared to add in the past, or didn't want then and want now, and I'm more willing to not give a fuck about others opinions on the matter.

I've always been bi-curious to some degree but decades of fantasy can turn something small into something bigger. Now I'm just going to own and enjoy wherever that goes.

 

[Willowbigirl]

Generically I think many men focus on family and careers to different degrees in their 20s and 30s, often toxically at the expense of their own personal wants and needs to benefit their family and career. After two decades of hard work, the combined effect of feeling you have succeeded in your role for your family, and now have the financial means and the time and energy to focus on themselfs and their own personal needs and wants. Thus the mid life crisis where men get blamed and demonized for many just finally caring about themselves.

Personally, A lot of complicated circumstances beyond that were also holding me back until recently. That and I really never planned my life much past 40 in any sort of detail. My list of goals and things to accomplish in my life somehow is down to only a few last things. So now what do I do with myself? Start adding things to the list I was too scared to add in the past, or didn't want then and want now, and I'm more willing to not give a fuck about others opinions on the matter.

I've always been bi-curious to some degree but decades of fantasy can turn something small into something bigger. Now I'm just going to own and enjoy wherever that goes.

Love that, what an inciteful response and thank you! I like indulging the new found confidence and lease of life in men tbh, providing a safe space for men to indulge fantasies and desires they can't express irl.

 

[m_and_em_stories]

Confidence is so sexy!

I like indulging the new found confidence and lease of life in men tbh, providing a safe space for men to indulge fantasies and desires they can't express irl.

Thank you for your efforts! The world needs more of you

 

[Willowbigirl]

Happy to be of service!! I actually am though ;-)

 

[PlayfulJay]

I absolutely agree with what’s already been said. For me, there was a full realization of my own mortality that came around 40. I know, that sounds dark. But I think it really impacted how I viewed my daily life. When you fully realize that life has a time limit, it’s easier to open up about the interests and desires that you’ve ignored or kept silent about. Insecurities, social constraints, fear…those all no longer seem like reasonable barriers to experiencing all that life has to offer, especially when it comes to what my mind and body crave.

 

[justanewsub]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

What a great thread! Thanks for starting it. For me, it's a bit of a better understanding of myself. A time I feel like I've hit "traditional" success and a sense of where my life is. I can now focus not just on things like "I want sex" or "I like boobs," and more into what will actually arouse me. What can satisfy me. For me, that satisfaction now seems to come in the desire to please others, hence submission. But I think it comes from feeling like I've hit several other things in my life, allowing me to expand my horizons here.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

My own observation that is was not so much passing a certain age for me, but it was the emergence of the internet/web with its plethora of sexually related topics that opened my eyes and ignited my latent desires. I do agree with the thoughts above, though, because things blossomed for me after raising a family and retiring from my job; i.e. I had time and opportunity to explore. Both of which more or less coincided with the internet's rise.

Good topic!

 

[SirSparky]

Generically I think many men focus on family and careers to different degrees in their 20s and 30s, often toxically at the expense of their own personal wants and needs to benefit their family and career. After two decades of hard work, the combined effect of feeling you have succeeded in your role for your family, and now have the financial means and the time and energy to focus on themselfs and their own personal needs and wants. Thus the mid life crisis where men get blamed and demonized for many just finally caring about themselves.

Personally, A lot of complicated circumstances beyond that were also holding me back until recently. That and I really never planned my life much past 40 in any sort of detail. My list of goals and things to accomplish in my life somehow is down to only a few last things. So now what do I do with myself? Start adding things to the list I was too scared to add in the past, or didn't want then and want now, and I'm more willing to not give a fuck about others opinions on the matter.

I've always been bi-curious to some degree but decades of fantasy can turn something small into something bigger. Now I'm just going to own and enjoy wherever that goes.

This is very similar to how I feel, except for the bi curious bit. Ive never been bi curious and will never be. Im 54 now and thinking of medical retirement so will have a lot more time on my hands

 

[m_and_em_stories]

This is very similar to how I feel, except for the bi curious bit. Ive never been bi curious and will never be. Im 54 now and thinking of medical retirement so will have a lot more time on my hands

Absolutely, I didn't become bi-curious, I just stopped ignoring/pretending otherwise for other peoples simplicity and comfort. Not that I'm shouting it from the rooftops just living my life my way now.

At some point you have to define your own path, and 40s seems a good transition between living under the path and expectations you were taught and setup to, and learning about yourself and deciding on your own path and your own expectations.

 

[Jessica616]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

What a great question. For someone who is over 40, yes I would agree that as I got older I was more willing to try new things and be more open about it. I really didn't fully explore crossdressing until I was around 40. Now I am loving this part of my life and am more open. So to your question why. For me, I think it was that I reached the point where I new if I didn't try it, I would be to old to do it. Once I did put myself out there, it wasn't as scary as I thought, which allowed me to explore more. So glad I have.