Write a controversial opinion

[Bramblethorn]

• Making reference to friends in a way which strongly suggests gender: Are they "buddies?" Did they "do brunch?"

wait, brunch is gendered now?

 

[Britva415]

wait, brunch is gendered now?

There is a cliché about it, yes. I'm not sure what you mean by "now" but it isn't new.

 

[iwatchus]

There is a cliché about it, yes. I'm not sure what you mean by "now" but it isn't new.

Interesting. I have never considered doing brunch gendered at all. I guess the cliche is groups of women having brunch together as they gossip. Thinking about having brunch at a restaurant, there are more all women groups than all men groups. And there are more all men groups at lunch, but not be much. But neither are dominant compared to mixed gender groups.

I think I mostly manage to ignore most of the gendering assumptions socially. But neither my SO nor I have any social groups that are largely mono-gendered. I can't think of the last social event that I went to that was predominantly a single gender. My SO and I have always divided the household chores along personal interests, which are often contrary to traditional gender roles. And we each had multiple year stretches being the primary care giver for our son as he was growing up.

Thinking about it, I cannot think of a time in my life where I did not have a close friend of each gender. In middle school, I had a female friend group and a male friend group, because most kids were not comfortable with generally mixed gender groups.

It probably has left me mostly oblivious to brunch being a gendered cliche, but more sensitive to things like mansplaining. I want to hear from the people who actually know what they are talking about, male or female, not the people who think they should just know because they have a penis.

 

[StillStunned]

not the people who think they should just know because they have a penis

Hey, some of us do our best thinking with our penis, I'll have you know!

 

[Erozetta]

I'm now going to start every male pov story I write with a reference to their jockstrap.

 

[Statius]

I'm now going to start every male pov story I write with a reference to their jockstrap.

Why ever not?

 

[crookedletter]

Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

John McClain is a Santa Claus figure. "Clain" -- "Claus." Think about it. McClain's near-magical ability to get around a high-rise office building has eerie parallels to Santa's ability to fly around the world. Hans Gruber is the anti-Santa Claus, the Krampus or Grinch if you will, who wants to take people's presents (or lives) away. In this case, of course, the Grinch doesn't have a change of heart, but falls to his death from a tall building, but that's a detail. The friendly cop is an angel figure, like Clarence in It's a Wonderful Life.

At the end of the movie all the debris and paper are falling from the air, obviously intended as a metaphor for snow. Nakatomi Plaza is a Christmas tree symbol, with obvious lighting problems. The cops and FBI agents outside the building represent skeptics who don't believe in Santa but are proved wrong. The hostages inside the building are a metaphor for children who need to be shown that the gift of love -- i.e., being saved from killer terrorist thieves--is more important than presents-- i.e., Christmas company bonuses.

At the end the good people are reunited and everyone celebrates and the message is that love and togetherness, not presents, are what matter.

When Hans Gruber reads, "Ho ho ho" off a dead guy's chest, that seals it for me.

Home Alone is a Die Hard remake. Kevin McCallister as John McClain, the wet bandits as Hans Gruber and his goons.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

My metricated soul is quivering in outrage. There's not even an SI unit for 'boat'.

Cubit!

Who needs to measure boats in length when you just need to apply one milliHelen - the amount of beauty required to launch one ship?

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm now going to start every male pov story I write with a reference to their jockstrap.

Have him stand in front of a full length mirror, admiring how big his junk looks in his new jockstrap.

 

[Britva415]

I'm now going to start every male pov story I write with a reference to their jockstrap.

Right, the thinking-cap!

 

[Erozetta]

Have him stand in front of a full length mirror, admiring how big his junk looks in his new jockstrap.

That's the only way.

He turns to admire the size from different angles, but ends up lamenting how his balls are sagging a bit. Then he pulls the skin taut as he considers scrotoplasty to fend off the signs of aging. Those balls made two kids, though, so he should be proud of the sag.

 

[Actingup]

That's the only way.

He turns to admire the size from different angles, but ends up lamenting how his balls are sagging a bit. Then he pulls the skin taut as he considers scrotoplasty to fend off the signs of aging. Those balls made two kids*, though, so he should be proud of the sag.

*that he’s admitted to.

 

[Erozetta]

*that he’s admitted to.

*that he's admitted to and is aware of.

 

[SimonDoom]

Home Alone is a Die Hard remake. Kevin McCallister as John McClain, the wet bandits as Hans Gruber and his goons.

I had not thought of this before, so it's a game changer for me.

I was never a huge Home Alone fan, and now I realize it's because deep down I knew it was a rip off.

 

[SimonDoom]

That's the only way.

He turns to admire the size from different angles, but ends up lamenting how his balls are sagging a bit. Then he pulls the skin taut as he considers scrotoplasty to fend off the signs of aging. Those balls made two kids, though, so he should be proud of the sag.

Remind me never to read a Lit story that uses "scrotoplasty" as a tag.

 

[Erozetta]

Remind me never to read a Lit story that uses "scrotoplasty" as a tag.

Coward.

 

[SimonDoom]

Coward.

As Clint Eastwood's character in Magnum Force (no coward) said, "A good man knows his limitations."

 

[Ian_Snow]

Damn it, I saw the name of this thread and I got really excited to share my controversial hot take on how useless Colby Jack cheese is. It was a good post, too. But okay, fine, I'll share a hot take on stories, I guess.

I dread writing blowjob scenes. Other writers can make them interesting. I can't. Or at least, they don't feel that way. There are only so many ways you can write "he stuffed his wedding tackle into her bait shop entrance number one" before you get bored as fuck with them. Blowjobs in real life? God yes. Having to write them? God no.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

Have him stand in front of a full length mirror, admiring how big his junk looks in his new jockstrap.

Thanks, now I have a narrator's voice echoing in my head about how his penis penised dickishly.

 

[Actingup]

Thanks, now I have a narrator's voice echoing in my head about how his penis penised dickishly.

“Your Majesty!” he exclaimed as his penis penised dickishly. “Sorry, wrong bathroom.”

 

[alohadave]

I'm now going to start every male pov story I write with a reference to their jockstrap.

If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Lethal Weapon.

 

[MillieDynamite]

And it could've started with quite a bang if Mel hadn't stopped when he squeezed the trigger, just a little bit. But it would've been a very short movie.

If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Lethal Weapon. View attachment 2571318

 

[Bramblethorn]

That's the only way.

He turns to admire the size from different angles, but ends up lamenting how his balls are sagging a bit. Then he pulls the skin taut as he considers scrotoplasty to fend off the signs of aging. Those balls made two kids, though, so he should be proud of the sag.

A wistful smile drifts across his face as he recalls his carefree younger days when they bounced freely, resplendent in their scrotum pasties. He'd wowed housewives, fashion execs, even a First Lady with his Newton's Cradle impression. His "Scrote to Scrote" tour had made the National Enquirer. I had it all wrong, he thought. You don't just wake up one morning and decide to trade all that for Marge, a Volvo SUV, and little Bobson and Melindabell. It creeps up on you so stealthily you don't even notice until it's done.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Spray frosting is better than spray cheese.