Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

Ladies are lining up.......... to steal my top hat, good thing I have tracking devices on them so my security team can procure them back.

 

[pinkparkhorse]

I stole Cornelius’ top hat and disabled the tracking device. Now he’ll never get it back. Mwah ha ha.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I slipped the tracking device into Cornelius’ back pocket.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have owned a boat before named Frankie.

 

[EMPTYSTAR]

My fridge light doesn't judge me at 2 am, definitely not lolol~

 

[GraiceeGirl]

I am a Frisbee (Disc) golf champion.

 

[EctoJohn]

I am a nudist, but ONLY in public.

 

[Sexydrana]

As a witch, sacrifice season is my favorite season… wait… I meant autumn… yea… autumn…

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I can't expertly perform the Star Wars Gangsta Rap Chronicles

 

[EctoJohn]

My testicles are attached by Velcro.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

My boobs are without nipples! No party hats happening in this shirt

 

[Sexydrana]

My boobs are without nipples! No party hats happening in this shirt

My tits are nothing but nipple… super large and in charge

 

[smtst5]

Im scared of boobs.

 

[Footman69]

Women’s feet repulse me

 

[Noone45]

I love myself

 

[EctoJohn]

I have never had a birthday.

 

[Sexydrana]

Every day is my birthday!

 

[EctoJohn]

Every day is my birthday!

I haven't seen your birthday suit.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Surreality merely assumes my presence. Tada!

 

[PotNoodle79]

I’m a proper stud

 

[EctoJohn]

I built myself a custom pink PC.

 

[pinkparkhorse]

I am a custom pink pc.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I've been abducted by space aliens so often that I now use them as my Lyft drivers...

 

[pinkparkhorse]

I’ve been impregnated by space aliens so many times I’ve run out of baby names.

 

[Taegul]

Guys? Please keep quiet on this because I don't need TMZ getting all in my business, but I'm actually Stephen King and I've been on Lit all this time just trying to get some good ideas and inspiration for the romance novel I'm trying to write. I'm definitely getting frustrated though and thinking I may never escape this research phase to actually write the damn story.

And boobies are totally cool. That part is not a lie.