Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[kreemi_pi]

If you are reading this, I am your narrator and you are about to get really annoyed…

For some reason, I think you'd do a good job narrating my life

 

[kreemi_pi]

The only lie is that it’s taking 20 years

24.5 then

 

[Jaws82]

24.5 then

I think for safety it’s a good idea I’m not one to rush things when it comes to global domination

 

[EctoJohn]

I have the Guinness World Record for amounts of times being struck by lightning.

 

[kreemi_pi]

I am Ecto John.

 

[smtst5]

I’m a ray of sunshine today

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I have x-ray vision

 

[~Elizabeth~]

I don't need sex ever again.

 

[azflyboy69]

I have 5 baby mamas

 

[EctoJohn]

My favorite article of clothing are torn purple shorts.

 

[smtst5]

Im not hornier than I was when I was younger

 

[Coconutty70]

I don’t mind when long-term chat partners disappear off the face of the Earth.

 

[Wageslave]

I'm 2 gorillas both named Bob

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I think making out like teenagers is highly overrated

 

[SusanHoward]

I never skinny dip at the old rock quarry on my days off.

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

Pay Morgan Freeman to narrate my life, he is right next to me narrating what I am texting at this very moment...

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

I have x-ray vision

One upping my x-ray monocle, touche!

 

[Madhatter02]

I never skinny dip at the old rock quarry on my days off.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

One upping my x-ray monocle, touche!

Do you have antiradiation eyedrops?

 

[SirCorneliusWankumbush]

Do you have antiradiation eyedrops?

Of course I do! Don't need my good eye falling out!

 

[GraiceeGirl]

One glass of wine will NOT make me hungover the next day.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I have never been hung over.

 

[PotNoodle79]

I am a ball of sunshine and rainbows.

Yay.

 

[lil_jenni]

I have not been a churning ball of anxiety since setting up a lunch date with my new girl crush. And I am not counting the hours until 11:30 am on Thursday with a mix of anticipation and trepidation.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I really do NOT have time to post now - my schedule for e-fucking on lit is preventing me from doing it...