MsT's Simple Cantina

Today's question ...

I know there is a thread about this, but I wanted to ask here.

If you had the chance to meet another Litster, would you? How long would you have to chat via board, pm, voice message, phone calls before you actually felt comfortable in making the meeting?

Where would you meet? What would you do?

:D
I know a couple that I would. We have been talking a long time.
 
I've been thinking about another question to ask everyone and here it is ...

Describe to me a perfect date that you have planned for your girl. I don't just wanna hear, dinner then we fucked!! Anyone can do that to be honest. I want to hear all the details of what you planned.

Do you plan far in advance? Do you want to surprise her? Is it during the day? Night?

Tell me ... I want to know!!!!

:D
For the sake of argument, I'm going to use the things I did with a friend rather than my partner due to our current situation.

When I was visiting her monthly a few years ago, usually our things were based on her whims. I would see what she'd want to try out, make it happen and be rewarded whichever way. She was widowed from her estranged husband who never treated her right. The way I saw it, by trying to treat her better I was helping her see how valuable she was and what she should expect from future suitors.
Last time I talked to her she found a good one. So I guess I did okay.

So to answer,I do try to plan but allow for change when needed to adapt because life happens. I treated every "date" like an interview because I tried to show her that she was in control of her relationship versus being dragged along and I struggled to have her ask me to return for the next visit.
 
As far as guidelines go:
1. Meet someplace open and public, a coffee shop, a sidewalk cafe, someplace safe for both parties.
2. Meet with no expectations. Even if you’ve cybered or sexted or more, in person meeting is totally different chemistry and resonance. It’s one reason that I don’t mind meeting somewhat sooner. It makes chatting more real.
3. Don’t be afraid to say “No.” #2 only means something if you adhere to it. No expectations. If the other person doesn’t respect that, let it be their problem.
4. Be open to possibilities. It’s okay to be pleasantly surprised. Just don’t rush.
5. For women especially, it’s okay to have an emergency contact on speed dial just in case. ‘Nuf said.

I was gonna post something but I realized this sums it better than what I would have said
 
I would meet most of the Litsters I’ve interacted with long term. It’s pretty easy to spot spammers and scammers after a lengthy conversation. I have met 4 listers in person and all of them were great. 2 just ended up being friends. 1 likely would have led to something but COVID ended the travel that would have made it possible. And 1 led to a really close friendship. I would have a cup of coffee or a beer with any of them again.

As far as guidelines go:
1. Meet someplace open and public, a coffee shop, a sidewalk cafe, someplace safe for both parties.
2. Meet with no expectations. Even if you’ve cybered or sexted or more, in person meeting is totally different chemistry and resonance. It’s one reason that I don’t mind meeting somewhat sooner. It makes chatting more real.
3. Don’t be afraid to say “No.” #2 only means something if you adhere to it. No expectations. If the other person doesn’t respect that, let it be their problem.
4. Be open to possibilities. It’s okay to be pleasantly surprised. Just don’t rush.
5. For women especially, it’s okay to have an emergency contact on speed dial just in case. ‘Nuf said.

I have a different perspective than a lot of people. I led national wilderness outings and elderhostel courses for years. I took thousands of complete strangers on 1 to 2 week programs in remote wilderness areas and my home address and phone number appeared in national magazines. Today these organizations would never publish that kind of stuff, but email and the internet didn’t exist. :) I have a greater comfort level with strangers and make friends pretty easily. The biggest key is to do what you are comfortable with.

I think Lit is an amazing and creative community and if you think, “I’d go have a beer with guy/gal” then do it. I think this is a safer space overall than the average nightclub, and you have a greater chance to interact before the next step.
This is great!! I agree with all aspects of your statement!!!

Thank you for your wonderful input ...

😘
 
Today's question ...

I know there is a thread about this, but I wanted to ask here.

If you had the chance to meet another Litster, would you? How long would you have to chat via board, pm, voice message, phone calls before you actually felt comfortable in making the meeting?

Where would you meet? What would you do?

:D

I would. I think it would take me a couple months of chatting before I was comfortable with meeting them irl.
Not only would we have to have time to click and be more than surface friends, but know one another deeply.
Time enough to trust who they say they are really is who they are.
Where we would meet and what would we do would probably depend on who it was and what we both decided on beforehand.
Meeting at a public place is nice in case things don't go as planned.
What we would do also depends on the person and what we both like to do, but generally going out to eat or an event we both had interests in would be a good start.
Again, depends on who it is and how intimate things have gotten before the irl plans.
 
Today's question ...

I know there is a thread about this, but I wanted to ask here.

If you had the chance to meet another Litster, would you? How long would you have to chat via board, pm, voice message, phone calls before you actually felt comfortable in making the meeting?

Where would you meet? What would you do?

:D
How long...it depends but after a few weeks of getting to know more I'd be fine...
What to do...see my last answer...
D present have to end in great sex but I wouldn't complain if it did 😊
 
Everybody Knows
Author Unknown

You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

SO...
You have to find out who you are and be that.
You have to decide what comes first and do that.
You have to discover your strengths and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of "being you."

THEN...
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due,
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

DARE TO BELIEVE...
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.
 
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