✨Highlights and Bombshells💥

[Lmizzler]

I used to try and organize apps. Like all the bills are in a folder. But now? I just download shit and then when I need it, I just search for it. Much faster than looking for it.

I do similar. I still put them in folders to organize the screen some but other than my about 10 most used apps, I just end up searching for instead.

 

[Susurration]

Questionnaire​

Let’s (high)lighten the mood! I love a good questionnaire, especially one that allows for some creativity. Below you will find 20 questions. Yes, 20. That’s a lot. You do not have to answer all 20. You can answer whichever ones you want to answer. We won’t judge.

1. Do you make wishes on your birthday candles before blowing them out? Would you care to share what your last birthday wish was?
2. You discover a spider in your kitchen. What do you do?
3. What is your favorite comfort meal?
4. What is something about which people have a misconception?
5. Where do you feel the most at peace?
6. Finish this sentence. My favorite _____ is ______.
7. What are you looking forward to?
8. What was your last memorable encounter with something found in nature?
9. Hidden talents or hobbies? Something you are trying to master?
10. If you could make grilled cheese sandwiches with anyone alive or dead, who would it be? And what is your grilled cheese recipe?
11. Who are your heroes or heroines, real or fictional?
12. Are you optimistic about the future?
13. What is a smell that stops you in your tracks?
14. If you could come back as any organism, what would you come back as?
15. What is something new you’ve done recently
16. What's a small, seemingly insignificant thing that brings you immense joy or comfort
17. What's a goal or dream you've been hesitant to pursue? What's holding you back, and what's one small step you can take towards it?
18. If you could write a letter of appreciation to someone who deeply impacted your life, who would it be and what would you say?
19. Describe a time when you experienced a deep connection or understanding with another person. What made that moment special?
20. If your life had a theme song, what would it be and why?

I'm not sure that all of my answers will necessary lighten the mood, but some might. Here goes:

1. I haven't had a birthday cake for more than twenty years.
2. The hoover is very good at eliminating them quickly without unnecessary trauma (to me or the spider).
3. Pasta.
4. In the UK, the number of people who do not understand how the EU works is staggering or did you mean about me? If so, the list is very long, so you'd have to be more specific .
5. Indoors away from people or doing the parts of my job where I am in control.
6. My favourite bird is the Snipe.
7. This is a really tough question for me at the moment. Can I answer that the best thing that has happened lately is that the UK did not get blocked from this site and come back to you?
8. When a Hobby flew more or less over my head about ten or so years ago. I'd been trying to see one for years and, of course, when it finally happened, it was when I least expected it.
9. I have talents, none of them proven !
10. I actually did make something similar with my best friend way back in 2007. She had just split up with her boyfriend, was back home at her parent's and I went around there and we made grilled feta pitta bread. Nothing has ever topped that since and unless a Spanish or Nordic beauty comes along nothing will .
11. Carlos Ruíz Zafón for writing La Sombra del Viento (Shadow of the Wind). This is the only book that I have never been able to put down.
12. No. The world is in a terrible, dark place and the UK is in a dreadful state in particular.
13. Fresh strawberries or raspberries, expensive dark chocolate, or high quality honey.
14. I rather like being human, although immortality would be nice too.
15. I've had a few new experiences recently, but none of them are cheerful, so I will keep those to myself.
16. Being able to visit my parent's house during the summer and have a long holiday there.
17. Moving to another European country. Needing to find a job there and my ability to live and work in Europe having been destroyed by both Brexit and covid has resulted in those already optimistic visions trickling off the canvas like water colours in the rain.
18. To my best friend (see above), but I used to write her lots of letters when we were university students, so I already have.
19. For those of you who have ever seen Endeavour, I relate to that character so much. There are also two famous quotes that I connect with. The first is from Shadow of the Wind ('There are worse prisons than words') and the second is from Doctor Who and I will simply link the clip:

20. I can only choose one? That is not possible ! Who designed this questionnaire anyway ? I suppose right now it would have to be The Bangles and 'Set You Free' for all the relationships that I wish that I'd had, but I never did:

. Still, as Belinda Carlisle once sang 'There's no future living in the past, you can dream, but you can never go back'.

If you've made it to the end without wanting to throw metaphorical darts at me for failing abysmally to lighten the mood, I thank you . It has been a bit cathartic writing some of it out. It has been a very nine years for me.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable? Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things? Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

 

[Whiskeyjack]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable? Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things? Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

Depends how close I am with the person. For people I care about I'll try my damnedest to reach out and talk and try to resolve things. For people I'm not so close with, I just don't usually have the energy. But I also don't have the energy to go out of my way to make them miserable. I usually try to keep things quiet and not involve other people. But in general, it's not a problem that I have very often. I've only been harassed online or in person very rarely. Online it's usually easy enough to block or ignore folks. In person... well, if I know you in person there's a better chance you're someone I'll want to resolve things with. But again, this is mostly hypothetical. It's not that I'm so wonderful that no one has a problem with me. I just don't think most people find me interesting enough to have a beef with me to begin with.

 

[Solid_wave]

I'm not sure that all of my answers will necessary lighten the mood, but some might. Here goes:

1. I haven't had a birthday cake for more than twenty years.
2. The hoover is very good at eliminating them quickly without unnecessary trauma (to me or the spider).
3. Pasta.
4. In the UK, the number of people who do not understand how the EU works is staggering or did you mean about me? If so, the list is very long, so you'd have to be more specific .
5. Indoors away from people or doing the parts of my job where I am in control.
6. My favourite bird is the Snipe.
7. This is a really tough question for me at the moment. Can I answer that the best thing that has happened lately is that the UK did not get blocked from this site and come back to you?
8. When a Hobby flew more or less over my head about ten or so years ago. I'd been trying to see one for years and, of course, when it finally happened, it was when I least expected it.
9. I have talents, none of them proven !
10. I actually did make something similar with my best friend way back in 2007. She had just split up with her boyfriend, was back home at her parent's and I went around there and we made grilled feta pitta bread. Nothing has ever topped that since and unless a Spanish or Nordic beauty comes along nothing will .
11. Carlos Ruíz Zafón for writing La Sombra del Viento (Shadow of the Wind). This is the only book that I have never been able to put down.
12. No. The world is in a terrible, dark place and the UK is in a dreadful state in particular.
13. Fresh strawberries or raspberries, expensive dark chocolate, or high quality honey.
14. I rather like being human, although immortality would be nice too.
15. I've had a few new experiences recently, but none of them are cheerful, so I will keep those to myself.
16. Being able to visit my parent's house during the summer and have a long holiday there.
17. Moving to another European country. Needing to find a job there and my ability to live and work in Europe having been destroyed by both Brexit and covid has resulted in those already optimistic visions trickling off the canvas like water colours in the rain.
18. To my best friend (see above), but I used to write her lots of letters when we were university students, so I already have.
19. For those of you who have ever seen Endeavour, I relate to that character so much. There are also two famous quotes that I connect with. The first is from Shadow of the Wind ('There are worse prisons than words') and the second is from Doctor Who and I will simply link the clip:

20. I can only choose one? That is not possible ! Who designed this questionnaire anyway ? I suppose right now it would have to be The Bangles and 'Set You Free' for all the relationships that I wish that I'd had, but I never did:

. Still, as Belinda Carlisle once sang 'There's no future living in the past, you can dream, but you can never go back'.

If you've made it to the end without wanting to throw metaphorical darts at me for failing abysmally to lighten the mood, I thank you . It has been a bit cathartic writing some of it out. It has been a very nine years for me.

Lovely to read that someone thinks exactly the same way as I do on “Shadow of the wind”. Really a great book

 

[Mei5ter]

Depends how close I am with the person. For people I care about I'll try my damnedest to reach out and talk and try to resolve things. For people I'm not so close with, I just don't usually have the energy. But I also don't have the energy to go out of my way to make them miserable. I usually try to keep things quiet and not involve other people. But in general, it's not a problem that I have very often. I've only been harassed online or in person very rarely. Online it's usually easy enough to block or ignore folks. In person... well, if I know you in person there's a better chance you're someone I'll want to resolve things with. But again, this is mostly

I originally gave that a thumbs-up to express agreement with the post - but that looked like I was agreeing with this bit...

hypothetical. It's not that I'm so wonderful that no one has a problem with me. I just don't think most people find me interesting enough to have a beef with me to begin with.

...and I'm certainly not agreeing that no one finds you interesting - so I've changed my reaction accordingly!

But I sympathise completely with your wider point about personal energy being finite, and wanting to make the best and most positive use of it. There will be a small prize for anyone who can name the OG Dr Who episode where the Master tells the Doctor that "Hatred is Strength" - but my near-Lit-namesake was wrong in every important respect (to quote another 1980s sci-fi classic).

There are some people online, including on Lit, who have learned to be very good at being unpleasant on the Internet. There are plenty of other people online who seem to enjoy watching them do so. I have no interest in acquiring this 'talent', and seeing others exercise it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[Mei5ter]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you?

I can be touchy, but it takes quite a lot to make me properly upset with someone. Anyone who can make me that upset is probably going to be someone I'll want to salvage something with. I won't claim to be better than anyone else at difficult conversations and repairing things, but you of all people know that I've had to do that in my offline life this year, so you'll confirm that I've tried!

Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable?

No. Again...you know my star sign, and when I was much younger I was more likely to think that way. But I simply can't be bothered wasting energy on making people upset unless they've done something really unspeakable...and probably not even then? There are better and more satisfying ways to sort these things out.

Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things?

If I'm going to try to repair things with someone, I try to involve as few other people as I possibly can. I just think it's easier if we can be messy together without having to worry about what anyone else sees or hears? The more you escalate things publicly, the harder it is to scale them back. But, online and offline, there are people who feel they need to vent and share very publicly indeed. Again, you know of one offline situation I'm dealing with where someone did exactly that. I respect that not everyone keeps their feelings close as I prefer to, but when I'm doing one thing and they're doing the other, it doesn't always make reconciliation easier.

Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

Yes. I have it at work occasionally, and while it's unpleasant I have to accept it's part of my job. It sometimes involves the police, and in one case the person involved ended up going to jail for eight months (not directly for what they did online to me and my company but over related offences). It is depressingly easy for people to send anonymous emails to law enforcement and other authorities if they have a mind to, and we have to take even the most blatantly obvious malicious nonsense seriously. I'm sufficiently used to such things that I don't lose sleep over it, but it's not nice.

In my early days on Lit, I had problems with someone who - by their own admission - didn't take rejection well. They posted things on Lit threads publicly, and I didn't respond. Whether or not that was the right thing to do, I don't know, but when someone is being obnoxious to get my attention and provoke a response, my immediate reaction is not to give them what they want.

Lit is full of people vagueposting. I suppose I've been the intended target of one or two over the years, although I talk to so few people here that I tend to assume it's not me. On the very rare occasions where it (almost certainly) is, I don't dignify the post with a response, but I do just keep half an eye on who jumps in to like that particular post. It can be quite revealing

 

[birdy]

who can name the OG Dr Who episode where the Master tells the Doctor that "Hatred is Strength"

I believe that's The Deadly Assassin, if I'm not mistaken.

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it? Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable? Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet? How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things? Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

I don't tolerate pettiness well. If I'm upset with someone I will talk to them directly. If they are already being petty there's no sense in waiting for them to come to me about something..I've dealt with two very petty people for the last 15 years in my work environment and I just don't tolerate it anymore. I don't try and go out of my way to make it awkward or uncomfortable, but I will approach it head on and I know that may make some uncomfortable if they aren't anticipating a confrontation, no matter how peaceful it may be. I'm not that different online, I'll confront something head on. I'll be kind and patient to a degree unless they don't relent. If it's taking too much energy, thankfully in the online world we have ignore buttons.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it?

I hate conflict but I hate lingering, unsolved issues even more.

Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it? Do you wait for them to come to you?

Directly. I don’t like lingering confusion or misunderstanding. I reach out. I send messages. I try to talk it out. Until there is an impasse or of course the other person doesn’t respond. I can’t do anything about that and it’s really frustrating. It’s very hard to accept and it takes a long time to get past.

Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable? Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet?

At work, I stay professional. There are strategies to fall back on- techniques to help us work though conflicts. And actually those are really helpful to focus on when emotions get high.

Outside of work, I try to stay quiet and not engage.

How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things? Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

Online, it’s easy to hide behind a monitor and be vicious and cruel. And the pack mentality is real.

I’ve made good use of the ignore feature here. When I have had times when I’ve felt upset with someone or that I’ve thought they were mad at me, I’ve messaged them and asked them, or apologized if I’ve offended them. Sometimes I can tell they don’t want to talk to me so I leave them alone. I’d much rather talk through a conflict though.

In person, it’s much easier to work through a misunderstanding. So much gets lost in translation online.

There is a point at which I’ve reached my limit and I’m out of patience. When it is clear that someone is unwilling to respect my boundaries, I have no choice but to sever that relationship.

 

[hotwords229_A]

To Be or Not To Be…
​

…petty, that is the question. When you are upset with someone, how do you handle it?

I rarely get upset with people. If I do, I try to figure out why that did or said whatever made me upset. But I do make a habit of immediate . . . hmmm, I don’t want to say confrontation, because it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, how about clarification? I go directly to “why did you do that?” Or “what does that mean?” And I want an answer—right now, in the moment, so the answer will be a little more pure. I don’t have to like the answer, but I would like for it to at least make sense. If it doesn’t, then maybe that person just dropped a rung on my care ladder.

Do you talk with them directly and try to worth through it?

Yup.

Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you do everything in your power to make them uncomfortable?

I think I do make people uncomfortable when I do that, not intentionally, but most people don’t like being called out on things. But I also want people to be honest and direct with me, because it's possible that I’m the douchebag and, if so, I’d like not to be, so tell me!

Do you involve your friends? Do you stay quiet?

I don’t stay quiet.
If I’m really lost about a person’s actions, I might bring it up to friends for thoughts and advice. But I’m not into the “Let’s gang up on that person” attitude.

How does it differ for you online vs in person, or does it? What are the benefits of both ways of handling things?

Online people can simply be ignored. That one is easy for me.

Have you been on the receiving end of online harassment? What do you do when that happens?

No. No one would harass me.


On another note, I think the only time I find pettiness delightful is at work. When a new “policy” comes down, thought up by a complete moron, that we all know is a disaster, I take a certain delight in being petty, encouraging everyone to follow the new guidance to the letter and watching the place burn.

I am a total dick in that respect.