Any advice on writing “morning after” or “day after” scenes (i.e., when she’s just lost her virginity to a well-endowed stranger)?

[EmilyMiller]

The parallel thread might fill in some of the gaps. Did for me.

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...ud-erotica-from-india.1030054/#post-101310123

OMFG - it’s like plotter heaven. Not a lot of traction over there, I guess.

 

[Voboy]

OMFG - it’s like plotter heaven. Not a lot of traction over there, I guess.

...interesting.

OP, I'm at the point where (having read three pages of this) if you've been pondering this since 2014, just write it. Write it like you want to. Don't worry about realism. The readers will tell you whether it's struck a chord.

 

[Euphony]

OMFG - it’s like plotter heaven. Not a lot of traction over there, I guess.

As someone who suffered from similar paralysis by over-analysis for years, this portents a terrible end product.

Not suggesting pantsing or nothing. Organizing and setting a through line have an important place in the overall.

But this reeks of a writer who will never reach a flow state anywhere in the work.

And maybe I'm too woo woo but that's the only way where the humanity and "feels" in a work ever came through for me.

Revision and polishing needed after, of course, but this seems much like I used to do: try to build the car while also in the process of driving it.

 

[FrancesScott]

Am working on a ‘first-time story’, There are other aspects to it, e.g., an ‘inter-racial’ aspect – a Caucasian dude and a woman from India, but that's a different discussion.

He’s well-endowed and they have sex in multiple positions, etc.

I want to write the “day after” scene, where we see the young woman the following day, with some aches and pains, and a little post-coital dysphoria.

How do I make the “aches and pains” accurate and believable? What “aches and pains” is a woman likely to experience after vigorous penile-vaginal and penile-anal sex? I mean how much detail to put into this?

I think this is as important as the sex scenes themselves, if not more important – it’s about how it has affected/impacted her. I think it's this 'day after' scene that's really going to give weight to the sex scenes themselves, to depict how 'impactful' the sex was, physically and emotionally.

As for the emotional impact it’s likely to have had, well, I can work on that, and of course, input is welcome. It's the details regarding the physical sensations that I could most use some help with.

I wrote a sort of first time short story in which a somewhat shy and rertiring lady of Indian heritage - she’s called Dhyani - gets together with a Caucasian person who has a notable endowment. It also deals quite a bit with her emotions.

It’s called Bilingual, it’s quite short, and it might serve as a template for your more ambitious work.

 

[erotica_n_s]

...interesting.

OP, I'm at the point where (having read three pages of this) if you've been pondering this since 2014, just write it. Write it like you want to. Don't worry about realism. The readers will tell you whether it's struck a chord.

Honestly?

The fantasy has been in my head since the year 2000…

I don’t think I will ever write this out in full as I would like to.

I’m aiming to produce a detailed “treatment” - scene by scene, and when I get that right, I’ll have to leave it at that. What I’ve published so far is like a first draft.

I fed it to one of the AI chatbots out there which gave me some apparently positive feedback, but I have no idea if that’s reliable. Probably not, given that AI rarely gives any negative feedback anyway.

The intention is to make it like a love poem I wished I could have written all those years ago - something that, if a woman reads it, would feel flattered by.

 

[PapaRomantic]

I think however you decide to write it, some will love it and some won't. Welcome to Literotica!

 

[EmilyMiller]

something that, if a woman reads it, would feel flattered by.

Then don’t have her physically damaged by the experience. Unless you want to write consenting BDSM.

 

[Voboy]

The intention is to make it like a love poem I wished I could have written all those years ago - something that, if a woman reads it, would feel flattered by.

Write a love poem, then.

Granted, I'm a pantser, but even if I weren't? I think your "plotting" is waaay excessive. Seriously, just write. Don't worry about treatments, or asking weird out-of-context questions here, or pining away for this woman who appears to have made such an impression on you.

Just write. Then you'll have an actual product you can evaluate (you, not AI) so that you know whether it's something you can be proud of. There's nothing wrong with starting with a poem. I find them low-pressure and liberating.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Also, the physical aspects of post-coital sex for a recent virgin are far less important than the emotional aspects. Focus on the emotional aspects if you want to write a believable and impactful story.

This! Above all else, this!

Your MFC has been sore before, we all have just from daily life, work and exercise. Okay, maybe - maybe - it's worth a passing mention, but the transition from virgin to ex-virgin has a psychological impact. Work on that, for it is far more significant.

 

[Baztrachian]

the transition from virgin to ex-virgin has a psychological impact.

Indeed. Can't even begin to list the young women I've known over the years who've exhibited a sudden change and I've perfectly understood what's happened.

Interesting is that the young women who get married and then have sex don't seem to be impacted the same way. They almost never seem to exhibit that aura of regret that single women often do.

 

[EmilyMiller]

They almost never seem to exhibit that aura of regret that single women often do.

Which century are we talking about here?

 

[erotica_n_s]

@erotica_n_s my final suggestion. If you want to write the fantasy of the girl you liked all those years ago being half-crippled by being used vaginally, anally, and no doubt orally by a mega-cock porn star, then write it. Just drop the realism bit. If the image of her hobbling around bow-legged gets you off, go for it. Just forget about the realistic bit.

• The MMC in my story starts off gently.
• pays attention to her needs
• cares about her pleasure
  • he derives pleasure from watching her face, perhaps watching her tremble, hearing her sounds, etc.
• I've tried to make it reasonably believable
  • the first time they try anal, it's too painful for her
  • they take a breather, try again
    • it's still painful, but he slowly penetrates and 'holds' - no thrusting, etc.
      • brings her to orgasm through manual stimulation of her clitoris
  • likewise, their subsequent first attempt at vaginal penetration is perhaps also a little difficult, but he proceeds slowly, and gradually works up his pace, etc.
• He holds back from climaxing a number of times, because he wants to keep servicing her as long as he can.
• So I'd like to highlight - it's not about 'crippling' her or 'damaging' her or 'using' her, I hope that makes sense, do let me know if it doesn't.

 

[EmilyMiller]

• The MMC in my story starts off gently.
• pays attention to her needs
• cares about herpleasure
  • he derives pleasure from watching her face, perhaps watching her tremble, hearing her sounds, etc.
• I've tried to make it reasonablybelievable
  • the first time they try anal, it's too painful for her
  • they take a breather, try again
    • it's still painful, but he slowly penetrates and 'holds' - no thrusting, etc.
      • brings her to orgasm through manual stimulation of her clitoris
  • likewise, their subsequent first attempt at vaginal penetration is perhaps also a little difficult, but he proceeds slowly, and gradually works up his pace, etc.
• He holds back from climaxing a number of times, because he wants to keep servicing her as long as he can.
• So I'd like to highlight - it's not about 'crippling' her or 'damaging' her or 'using' her, I hope that makes sense, do let me know if it doesn't.

I think enough outlines, and just start writing.

 

[Voboy]

I think enough outlines, and just start writing.

You can say that again.

How many words have you written about this over the past 20 years, OP? Enough to have made a dozen stories about it, I'm sure.

Make a story and write it in that form. Quit it with the bullet points. Just find a narrator and let them tell the story.

 

[EmilyMiller]

• The MMC in my story starts off gently.
• pays attention to her needs
• cares about herpleasure
  • he derives pleasure from watching her face, perhaps watching her tremble, hearing her sounds, etc.
• I've tried to make it reasonablybelievable
  • the first time they try anal, it's too painful for her
  • they take a breather, try again
    • it's still painful, but he slowly penetrates and 'holds' - no thrusting, etc.
      • brings her to orgasm through manual stimulation of her clitoris
  • likewise, their subsequent first attempt at vaginal penetration is perhaps also a little difficult, but he proceeds slowly, and gradually works up his pace, etc.
• He holds back from climaxing a number of times, because he wants to keep servicing her as long as he can.
• So I'd like to highlight - it's not about 'crippling' her or 'damaging' her or 'using' her, I hope that makes sense, do let me know if it doesn't.

He stood above me, holding me under either knee of my parted legs. I suddenly felt not just shy, but vulnerable. And he seemed impossibly big, his hardness towering. I thought I could almost see the blood surging through its prominent veins. And he was going to put that in my ass? What was I thinking?

But alongside my doubts other feelings were surging. Feelings that grew and grew until they forced my trepidation to one side, overwhelming my apprehension, replacing it with raw desire. My tremorous trembling morphed into quivering excitement. And I knew what I wanted, what I craved, what I wanted to be.

I nodded, and heard a small, but clear voice saying one word, “Yes.”

“Let’s go slow, Shilpa, OK? You tell me if it’s too much.” With that, he bent over my body and his lips were on mine and I dared to push my tongue into his mouth, as I gripped his head and pulled him to me.

When we broke, my desire was raging. “Do it, fuck my ass, do it now!”

“Hush, angel,” he whispered as he stood again, retrieving a bottle from beside me as he moved. “Let’s start with this.”

He knelt beside the bed, placing the lube on the rug, and parted my cheeks with his hands. Was this really happening? Then he kissed my tight ring and I squealed and wriggled at the tingling tickling.

He pulled back. “You like that?”

Biting my lip I nodded, and spread my legs wider for him. Again he bowed down and I felt the tip of his tongue running in circles around my wrinkled muscles. And involuntarily I felt myself arch off of the bed, wanting to meet him, needing what I knew would be next.

And then his licking moved to the center of my opening, and I felt a little soft pressure. And I gasped as he eased his probing muscle inside me. It felt deliciously wrong. No tongue should be in there, surely. And yet I could feel heat build in me and my breath coming quicker. “A finger, try a finger,” said the same disembodied voice as before. It couldn’t be me speaking, could it?

 

[EmilyMiller]

With a smile, he retrieved the bottle and dripped a little on to his index finger, smoothing it around with his other hand. He wiped the residue onto me and again I squirmed in anticipation.

“You’re in control, Shilpa, just say so and I’ll ease off, or we can stop, do something else.”

“I want this. I really want this.”

Then his finger was where his tongue had just been, and the pressure was different, firmer, sharper maybe. My eyes widened as his tip opened me. “A little more lube, angel, OK?”

“OK. I… I think I like it.”

“Good girl, but remember you are in control.”

He drizzled some lube directly onto me, then more onto his hand. With a frisson of misgiving and eagerness I saw he now had two digits extended.

This time he was less hesitant, I felt his overlapping fingers push and I welcomed them, moving my hips forward, taking them deeper. “You really want this, don’t you, Shilpa?”

“Yeah, I want your cock in my virgin ass.” Wow! What had I become, why was I using these words? I felt momentary shame, then hunger took its place.

He dripped lube onto his impossibly large member. My mouth was dry, but my pussy soaking. My heart was trying to batter its way out of my rib cage. He was methodical, smearing the slippery fluid over himself. Applying a second coat. Then he gripped my thigh with one hand and his root with the other, steering himself to my tightest opening.

“You OK, Shilpa?”

I was beyond words, I had just become a seething, throbbing mess of pent up desire. But I nodded, I was ready.

 

[EmilyMiller]

His bulbous tip was against my flesh and he rubbed it around me, I moaned at the sensation. Then he put his thumb on his glans and locked eyes with me. “If anything hurts, just say and we warm you up more, got it?”

“Uh-huh.” Still normal conversation was too much for me.

And then the pressure. Not like before. So intense and unnatural and still just… wow, I was so going to do this. And then I wasn’t, the stretching was too much, and I felt a sharp pain. “No?” I shrieked, then immediately apologized. “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

He stroked my face. “This is difficult, you are doing great. It’s going to twinge a bit. But it will be OK. Want to try again, or do you need a break?”

I was still feeling sensitive. But, having begun to experience the incredible feeling of opening, I didn’t want to stop. “Let’s try again.”

“OK, but do this. It’s going to sound strange, try to push against me. Like you were, well you know, like you were pushing something else out of your body. It softens the muscles.”

This was super weird, but I assumed he knew what he was talking about. “OK, I’ll try.”

Again I felt the pressure, I moved on the bed, trying to improve the angle. And I pushed like he said, and it seemed to help. Stretching, stretching, stretching… I was doing it.

Then I screamed and tears sprung from my eyes. “I can’t, it’s too much.”

And he swept me into his arms and cradled me to his warm chest, stroking my hair, kissing the top of my head. “It’s OK, it’s normal. Just breathe, I’ve got you.”

And I did. I breathed and I sobbed and tried not to think about my stinging sphincter.

 

[EmilyMiller]

As he held me and I sniveled and felt sorry for myself, I also listened to his heart beating, his voice speaking words of comfort. And something stirred in me. Not desire so much as stubbornness. I didn’t want to be defeated. Maybe I was almost there, just a little more. I could be a brave girl.

“I… I think I’d like to try again… could we…?”

Doubt filled his voice, “You sure, Shilpa? We can have lots of other fun.”

“I’m sure, I’m not a baby, and I want to try this again.”

A smile crept over his face. “Whatever you say, but I feel kinda stupid, we should have done this before.”

“What before?”

“Just lie down again, you’ll see.”

I got onto my back and he spread my legs, hooking them over his shoulders. “Just relax, Shilpa.”

And then he kissed my mound, then moved a little lower, unfurling me with one hand, and extending his tongue. As his tip met my throbbing little tower, electricity rushed through me and I whimpered. He began to lap and the sensation started to spread heat and pulses through me. Then his fingers were at the opening of my vagina. He paused to say, “Don’t worry, it’s the other hand.” I’d not even thought about that, and was grateful for his consideration.

Then his digits slipped into my slick canal and his tongue lapped me more urgently, and it was all I could do to deal with the little fires that were springing up in me.

I groaned and writhed, but he held me in place and upped his tempo. His fingers were thrusting deep, he was pushing hard on my clit with his tongue. And my emotions spiraled beyond anything I could control, as I screamed my ecstasy to the ceiling, eyes squeezed tight shut, head thrown back, muscles tensing and releasing in spasms of ecstasy.

 

[Voboy]

The rest of the AH:

 

[PennyThompson]

Emily out here dropping the hottest anal scene in years on a forum thread before breakfast, it is too early for this I am AT WORK ma'am!!

 

[NuclearFairy]

Emily out here dropping the hottest anal scene in years on a forum thread before breakfast, it is too early for this I am AT WORK ma'am!!

And I'm doing laundry. Skip now read later.

 

[EmilyMiller]

My heart was racing, my chest heaving. Aftershocks ran through my sensitized body. And dimly I heard the lid of the lube bottle flipped open, and sensed him shifting position.

And then the fearsome pressure again. My ring being remorselessly stretched. I bore down, I gritted my teeth. I couldn’t, I really couldn’t. Then I felt his thumb on my clit and the intensity of my orgasm came flooding back. I squeezed my ass muscles as hard as I could and I gasped and yelled as he kept pushing and pushing and pushing. Forcing my uncooperative flesh asunder.

And then, in a rush, I yielded, my sphincter opening, accommodating, welcoming him in. And the pressure he had been applying drove him deeper inside me. And there was no pain, just fullness and warmth and the knowledge of both achievement and that I was a truly bad girl.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Um…

THE END​

I guess. When’s my next Teams meeting?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Just over 1,400 words.

I fixed a few typos and punctuation errors. But it’s pretty raw (like Shilpa’s ass).

@erotica_n_s if you want, I’ll publish it as a short story, crediting your writing prompts. Or just say and I’ll leave it here only.

 

[TinaCole]

Use words like anew, reborn, or taken, used. depend if you want to paint a positive or negative feeling.