Advice for opening a relationship

[BiDave1962]

I’ve had fantasies involving men for 45 years, but have not acted on them. Sad, I know. I know my desires stemmed from childhood experimentation, but were sublimated because of my strong religious upbringing. That said, once I moved away from my parents I had the opportunity to be more open. But only a little. My mother finally passed last fall, so I now feel free to explore my desires. However, I am married. My wife loves me, I love her, we have had a frank discussion of our sex life and we know what each other’s desires are. But she has crippling inferiority and fears that bringing anyone into our bed will result in losing me. She especially fears bring in another woman. Health concerns and social stigma aside, is there anything I could say to her that might get me having sex with a man?

 

[Noor]

I’ve had fantasies involving men for 45 years, but have not acted on them. Sad, I know. I know my desires stemmed from childhood experimentation, but were sublimated because of my strong religious upbringing. That said, once I moved away from my parents I had the opportunity to be more open. But only a little. My mother finally passed last fall, so I now feel free to explore my desires. However, I am married. My wife loves me, I love her, we have had a frank discussion of our sex life and we know what each other’s desires are. But she has crippling inferiority and fears that bringing anyone into our bed will result in losing me. She especially fears bring in another woman. Health concerns and social stigma aside, is there anything I could say to her that might get me having sex with a man?

As her about another man if you haven’t already, but be prepared that you may lose her.
I’d tell her if she ever wanted to add another guy to your bed, to pick out the guy and let you know.
The guy would be for her, not you though. I’m afraid if you tell her about your interest in men, she will be very upset, because they will be much more of a threat to her than other women and she is already threatening by them.
I would also look into why she has cripping inferiority and who you have done or not done to encourage that.
She sounds scared and I’d start my finding a way to help her feel safe before adding people to your marriage.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’ve had fantasies involving men for 45 years, but have not acted on them. Sad, I know. I know my desires stemmed from childhood experimentation, but were sublimated because of my strong religious upbringing. That said, once I moved away from my parents I had the opportunity to be more open. But only a little. My mother finally passed last fall, so I now feel free to explore my desires. However, I am married. My wife loves me, I love her, we have had a frank discussion of our sex life and we know what each other’s desires are. But she has crippling inferiority and fears that bringing anyone into our bed will result in losing me. She especially fears bring in another woman. Health concerns and social stigma aside, is there anything I could say to her that might get me having sex with a man?

Seems you’re pretty much screwed on this one.
Unless she shows an interest in role playing a Dominatrix. That might help her with her insecurities and if she had total control over you and another guy . . . things might just work out the way you’re hoping.

She is helped overcome her insecurity and you get some cock. Win-win?

I have no idea if Couple’s Therapists help with role play, but it’s worth looking into.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

She sounds scared and I’d start my finding a way to help her feel safe before adding people to your marriage.

Confidence in her bed can be greatly influenced by small actions or the way you look at her. I agree with Noor, about her comment above. Make her feel desirable without so much as touching her along with when you are touching her. If you watch porn together, try implementing some in that are MMF where the MM happens toward the end and you don't have control over what's playing because you're rocking her world. Keep your eyes on her more than the video, though. Use her reactions when watching her to heighten her arousal.