I know you too well to share my kinks.

[hotwords229_A]

I never had the opportunity (or the awareness that it could be a thing) to cum anywhere in or on a woman except in her vagina. More specifically, never got to cum into her mouth. It was an unknown act to me, or to them until, of course, the internet. [That is assuming the lady would have allowed/enjoyed that act in the first place.] But now I have been treated for prostate cancer and have no semen to offer and that is stopping me from trying it now. To be sure, orgasms still occur; they are so-called dry orgasms. Immense feeling but lacking that quintessential substance to impart.
Sic transit gloria spermi....

Prostate cancer seems to run in my family so it’s probably something I’ll have to deal with (hopefully not until I’m super old). I guess all guys get it if they live long enough, but getting it young is horrible.

I have wondered what a dry orgasm is like? How does it compare to a regular orgasm? Does it feel like you never really finish? The moment the cum comes out is part of the orgasmic feeling, is that part just lost? Or does it still feel the same, with no mess?

You never got to cum in a woman’s mouth, but did you ever cum in your own? It’s pretty awesome.

Feel free not to answer if you don’t want to.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

Prostate cancer seems to run in my family so it’s probably something I’ll have to deal with (hopefully not until I’m super old). I guess all guys get it if they live long enough, but getting it young is horrible.

I have wondered what a dry orgasm is like? How does it compare to a regular orgasm? Does it feel like you never really finish? The moment the cum comes out is part of the orgasmic feeling, is that part just lost? Or does it still feel the same, with no mess?

You never got to cum in a woman’s mouth, but did you ever cum in your own? It’s pretty awesome.

Feel free not to answer if you don’t want to.

The plus part of it is the 'no mess' part. As far as 'finishing', there is a just as strong a feeling as with semen. The penis expands at the climax, all the internal parts clench and pulse. Other parts of your body react the same as they used to; heavy breathing, etc. Almost a 'simulated' ejaculation, if that makes sense.

The orgasm is just as much desirable and sought after as before. Yes, there is a bit of 'anticlimax' so to speak, in that the visible evidence is not there. But, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do...

 

[hotwords229_A]

The plus part of it is the 'no mess' part. As far as 'finishing', there is a just as strong a feeling as with semen. The penis expands at the climax, all the internal parts clench and pulse. Other parts of your body react the same as they used to; heavy breathing, etc. Almost a 'simulated' ejaculation, if that makes sense.

The orgasm is just as much desirable and sought after as before. Yes, there is a bit of 'anticlimax' so to speak, in that the visible evidence is not there. But, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do...

Cool. I’m glad to hear that there isn’t a big difference.
I guess you could always splat some warm mayonnaise on yourself at just the right time.

 

[Orchidea73]

I've never understood the whole "kissing is more intimate than sucking a dick" thing.

Me neither. And I'm big on kissing and be kissed. Love it.
However, there are kisses and there are KISSES. Context is important too. You know, it depends from the person and kind of attachment you have. The way you kiss a person can reveal a lot.

 

[magic_rat]

I've never understood the whole "kissing is more intimate than sucking a dick" thing.

You've never been properly kissed, then.

When you have your dick in someone's mouth there is no challenge - it's all going on. And to be honest, close your eyes and it could be anyone.

Kissing is about anticipation and expectation - you can tell how good a person is in bed by how they kiss.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Does your sexual activity increase or decrease during the holidays/time off?
Why?

 

[Crownvic]

Does your sexual activity increase or decrease during the holidays/time off?
Why?

Up scope...

 

[Mnkinkcpl]

Does your sexual activity increase or decrease during the holidays/time off?
Why?

For me/us it tends to taper off a bit since our "friends" tend to have other obligations. New years eve is the restart of the swinging season, we have 3 couples and a single female coming over for a night of fun and debauchery.

I'm really looking forward to it, it's the first group activity for the single female and I am excited to see her reactions.

 

[may_I_please]

Does your sexual activity increase or decrease during the holidays/time off?
Why?

Well since the pandemic we are both at home a lot more so not really much difference

 

[Mtnmike]

Does your sexual activity increase or decrease during the holidays/time off?
Why?

A long term sexless marriage so guess i'd say neither.

 

[Crownvic]

A long term sexless marriage so guess i'd say neither.

That’s too bad...sorry!

 

[hotwords229_A]

A long term sexless marriage so guess i'd say neither.

Your hand still works (I assume). That counts as sexual activity in my book.

 

[may_I_please]

Last night I was res-erecting old threads and I found a few that I was a little embarrassed to dig out of the old Lit basement.

It occurred to me that when you are new to Lit it’s easy to walk in and share all kinds of crazy stuff, but as we get to know each other, it may become awkward to overshare.

Yeah I get it, it’s easy if you stay playful and not serious to be honest. But then you start to read certain posters and feel like you can’t connect because they intimidate the carefree persona you’ve adopted

This is, in my opinion, one of the issues with relationships. You may want your wife/girlfriend to don a strap-on and go to town on your butthole, but you are afraid to admit it, tell her about it or you are concerned that she might not be into seeing her man taking one for the team.

this is why you share porn to judge reactions. Then you can laugh it off if no positive reactions

Does this happen to you on Lit?
Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?

LOL, yeah I bite back some comments

Are you a little more bi than you let on?

Not at all. Though I do find it sexy to watch gay porn I have no personal interest

Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know. Ter.

LOL, hell no

Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?

No I don’t have energy or subterfuge required and would fuck it up royally

Tell us, we know each other well enough.

 

[Mtnmike]

Your hand still works (I assume). That counts as sexual activity in my book.

It counts, problem is it's happened so much, he don't get excited bout that very often either.

 

[Orchidea73]

Does your sexual activity increase or decrease during the holidays/time off?
Why?

Neither. It's just that during the winter holidays it's more crowded and busy with family. So, less time and opportunities available, I guess.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I have no memory of creating this thread, but apparently I did. I do remember some of the conversations within, so at least there’s that.

Let’s continue . . .

Okay, let’s say your partner comes to you and tells you that they have a sexual kink that they can’t stop thinking about. It involves them dressing up as Grimace from McDonalds and being ravaged by the Fry Guys as you, dressed as Ronald McDonald, watch from the corner of the room while having a McYank.

Okay, let’s not say that. We all have this kink.

But let’s say they come to you with a kink, proclivity, fetish, or sexual desire that you just can’t get into.
Maybe it is even a huge turnoff for you.

How do you respond to your partner’s newfound kink that you are not interested in?
Have you been on the other side of this, or are you now?
Would you be concerned that they may pursue their kink outside of your relationship? If so, what do you do?
On the flip side, has your partner ever introduced you to some kink that you never thought you would like, but you did? Or you introduced them?
Do you have regular conversations about your sex life with your partner so you remain on the same page? How?

 

[Endless_Night]

It must be a collective memory loss because I didn't remember it either!

 

[Endless_Night]

How do you respond to your partner’s newfound kink that you are not interested in?
#1 - Regular Partner: I would listen, ask questions, then suggest we look into them finding it outside the relationship.
#2 - Dominant Partner: Stretch myself to meet the need if possible.

Have you been on the other side of this, or are you now?
Yes. I have been and am.

Would you be concerned that they may pursue their kink outside of your relationship? If so, what do you do?
No. It seems the most suitable solution.

As long as communication remains open and expectations agreed upon.

I really do not get why this is such an issue for people. Surely it's better than dissolving and established relationship where both parties are happy otherwise or cheating on your spouse. Too, having to . . . hide who you are from a primary partner just seems . . . an unwonderful space.

On the flip side, has your partner ever introduced you to some kink that you never thought you would like, but you did? Or you introduced them?
I had an online partner push me into DD/lg play. There'd been some talk, but neither of us had any experience.

*whooosh*



Do you have regular conversations about your sex life with your partner so you remain on the same page? How?
I mean, if sex is happening, yes.

 

[Endless_Night]

Okay, let’s say your partner comes to you and tells you that they have a sexual kink that they can’t stop thinking about. It involves them dressing up as Grimace from McDonalds and being ravaged by the Fry Guys as you, dressed as Ronald McDonald, watch from the corner of the room while having a McYank.

Okay, let’s not say that. We all have this kink.

 

[PeteyPP]

If you look closely grimace isn't really a taste bud he's a butt plug

 

[AveryElle]

I have no memory of creating this thread, but apparently I did. I do remember some of the conversations within, so at least there’s that.

Let’s continue . . .

Okay, let’s say your partner comes to you and tells you that they have a sexual kink that they can’t stop thinking about. It involves them dressing up as Grimace from McDonalds and being ravaged by the Fry Guys as you, dressed as Ronald McDonald, watch from the corner of the room while having a McYank.

Okay, let’s not say that. We all have this kink.

But let’s say they come to you with a kink, proclivity, fetish, or sexual desire that you just can’t get into.
Maybe it is even a huge turnoff for you.

How do you respond to your partner’s newfound kink that you are not interested in?
Have you been on the other side of this, or are you now?
Would you be concerned that they may pursue their kink outside of your relationship? If so, what do you do?
On the flip side, has your partner ever introduced you to some kink that you never thought you would like, but you did? Or you introduced them?
Do you have regular conversations about your sex life with your partner so you remain on the same page? How?

1. I've not yet experienced that
2. I have been on the side of a partner's kink not being my thing or actively giving me the ick. If I'm grossed out by it, it definitely impacts me. I've brought up one kinky thing, and had it shot down, and it was probably for the best.
3. Umm....this is hard to answer. I'd be concerned if they didn't talk to me, because as we all know, communication is everything!
4. No and no
5. Eh, my spouse? Sometimes. Other partners? apparently not enough! Communication is key, remember?

 

[cocokittysurprise]

But let’s say they come to you with a kink, proclivity, fetish, or sexual desire that you just can’t get into. Maybe it is even a huge turnoff for you.
How do you respond to your partner’s newfound kink that you are not interested in?

I am not currently partnered. But I've gone through this exact scenario. I explained that, while it is not something that I wanted to personally explore, I'd help them explore it outside of our relationship. It worked out for the both of us.

Have you been on the other side of this, or are you now?

No.

Would you be concerned that they may pursue their kink outside of your relationship? If so, what do you do?
On the flip side, has your partner ever introduced you to some kink that you never thought you would like, but you did? Or you introduced them?

In my case, I wanted them to have the freedom to explore the kink with a willing partner.
I've been a domme for a significant number of years, so I was typically the one introducing my partner to various kinks, some we tried, some we didn't.

Do you have regular conversations about your sex life with your partner so you remain on the same page? How?

When I was partnered, yes, we did. I encourage healthy, honest communication in all of my relationships, romantic or not. How? One of us would just say "Hey, I wanted to discuss something" and we'd talk about it. It was fairly normal conversation for us.

 

[hotwords229_A]

How do you respond to your partner’s newfound kink that you are not interested in?

I had a girl-friend, we were in a constant state of flirtation, but the relationship never really took off.
Anyway, she offered to blow me if she could tie my hands to the headboard.

She had had a bad experience giving a BJ once where the guy forced her head down and she was very anti-blowjob—understandably.

I’m very pro-blowjob (receiving! ).

I told her I would never force her head down, I wouldn’t even touch her head and she would simply have to trust me. I totally understood why she was hesitant, but she was the one offering, I wasn’t insisting or anything like that.

I don’t like being tied up. Is it a trust issue on my part? Maybe. Could I be tied with someone I totally trusted? Maybe.

But if our relationship was based on ‘she will blow me only if I’m tied and I want sex with her but with no ropes’, are we even right for each other?

We weren’t.

I sometimes wonder if it was just her way of maintaining what we had—an intense foreplay with no payoff, especially since I offered to go down on her with no expectations of reciprocation (I worded it sexier), and she declined.

Maybe she was a tease.

Anyway, I still get boners thinking about her.

 

[Mei5ter]

I had a girl-friend, we were in a constant state of flirtation, but the relationship never really took off.
Anyway, she offered to blow me if she could tie my hands to the headboard.

She had had a bad experience giving a BJ once where the guy forced her head down and she was very anti-blowjob—understandably.

I’m very pro-blowjob (receiving! ).

I told her I would never force her head down, I wouldn’t even touch her head and she would simply have to trust me. I totally understood why she was hesitant, but she was the one offering, I wasn’t insisting or anything like that.

I don’t like being tied up. Is it a trust issue on my part? Maybe. Could I be tied with someone I totally trusted? Maybe.

But if our relationship was based on ‘she will blow me only if I’m tied and I want sex with her but with no ropes’, are we even right for each other?

We weren’t.

I sometimes wonder if it was just her way of maintaining what we had—an intense foreplay with no payoff, especially since I offered to go down on her with no expectations of reciprocation (I worded it sexier), and she declined.

Maybe she was a tease.

Anyway, I still get boners thinking about her.

Oooooh! Now I have questions!

Did you judge her for asking? Did you stay friends after?

If instead of just tying you up, she'd said she wanted humiliate you by using you as her personal toilet and peeing in your mouth, and that you'd only be allowed to cum if you thanked Mommy for her nectar? Would you have felt similarly? Or would you have cut and run?

The thing with kinks is that they're not all alike. Some, rightly or wrongly, are more generally palatable than others. Some carry a far greater risk of toxic rejection than others. I'm not saying that wanting to pee on your partner is "worse" than tying them up, or that liking age play is "worse" than liking a spanking. If anything, non-consensual spanking is going to be treated more seriously in law than age play. But for all that we can talk about "communication", it's far easier to communicate when you know there is less risk of being damned irrevocably if your person says no.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Oooooh! Now I have questions!

Did you judge her for asking?

Absolutely. I judge everyone for everything all the time. But I judged her fairly, I understood this could be a kink for her. I even judged myself for being against it. But it didn’t change how I felt about her.

Did you stay friends after?

Sure. For a long time after.

If instead of just tying you up, she'd said she wanted humiliate you by using you as her personal toilet and peeing in your mouth, and that you'd only be allowed to cum if you thanked Mommy for her nectar? Would you have felt similarly? Or would you have cut and run?

Jesus Christ!

Yeah, I’m out. That would change how I felt about her and how she saw me. We would still be friends and I might even try to help her find a toilet buddy, but I’m not going near that and I don’t want to hear about it.

The thing with kinks is that they're not all alike. Some, rightly or wrongly, are more generally palatable than others. Some carry a far greater risk of toxic rejection than others. I'm not saying that wanting to pee on your partner is "worse" than tying them up, or that liking age play is "worse" than liking a spanking. If anything, non-consensual spanking is going to be treated more seriously in law than age play. But for all that we can talk about "communication", it's far easier to communicate when you know there is less risk of being damned irrevocably if your person says no.

This is the whole problem.

Everyone has a line no matter how open minded they pretend to be. That line is in all kinds of different places for all kinds of different people, and most of us have lots of different lines.

Navigating those lines can be a problem. Communicating to your wife/girlfriend that you have developed a strong desire for a threesome will (most likely) be interpreted as “you’re not enough” and so it’s better to just keep it to yourself. On the other hand, sometimes that desire becomes almost a need. And now a decision has to be made.

Things change, people change. Open minds close, closed minds open. Life is full of uncertainties, but I still believe that a strong relationship can withstand balls out communication. And sometimes, really communicating and sharing your perverted desires can quell them enough through conversation alone.

Other times, you need a better sexual partner and have to figure out, as @Endless_Night said, is it worth blowing the whole deal (so to speak).