In need of some advice (cuckolding; literotica in general)

[Aiphira]

Hi...pretty new to this and I don't really know how it all works.
But I thought maybe this is the right place to ask intimate questions like that:

My boyfriend is into cuckolding - me on the other hand hasn't got a lot of experience with things like these since he's my first boyfriend and I haven't come into contact with any other sexual topics (besides the vanilla stuff ^^' ).
So, I thought maybe someone could give me some advice on this whole website and maybe share some experiences regarding cuckolding.
Thanks in Advance ^^
- Aiphira

 

[gtnlynn]

We didn't call it cuckolding, but I did let my wife have sex with other men. She had a lot of sex with other guys in college while dating me, so I knew sex could just be a physical act for her. We set rules: one "date" per man so that there was no danger of an ongoing affair, condoms required (exceptions for sterility and clean bill of health), no sex with our friends, and she had to tell me all about each date. She did it several times during her 30's and stopped when she turned 40. It worked for us.

 

[whenagain]

I think in this situation you need to figure out whether or not this is what YOU want. While on paper it may sound great to get to have sex with lots of people, you get to make the choice.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

You’re sweet to consider it. Be wise and hold true to who you really are. Dignity is key. Sexy world. Cheers

 

[SissySalina]

Communication is key, the two of you need to discuss exactly what both of you want out of your relationship.
Get him to define exactly what he expects out of this "cuckolding", if it is not done as he expects it can be a relationship killer. Both of you need to completely understand the boundaries desire in this type of relationship.

 

[MerWilh]

Hi...pretty new to this and I don't really know how it all works.
But I thought maybe this is the right place to ask intimate questions like that:

My boyfriend is into cuckolding - me on the other hand hasn't got a lot of experience with things like these since he's my first boyfriend and I haven't come into contact with any other sexual topics (besides the vanilla stuff ^^' ).
So, I thought maybe someone could give me some advice on this whole website and maybe share some experiences regarding cuckolding.
Thanks in Advance ^^
- Aiphira

It can be great for some people and a nightmare for others.
In my opinion it only works if you and your partner have total trust in each other and your relationship is strong and healthy. No jealousy and a very open mind.
The key ingredient is communication. Sit down and have a serious, honest talk about everything involved.
Don't do it if it is mainly he that wants to do it.
Last but not least, if you decide to proceed, take your time to find the right 3rd person. The difference between the right or wrong person can make or break a relationship.
Good luck.

 

[GD6720]

I think in this situation you need to figure out whether or not this is what YOU want. While on paper it may sound great to get to have sex with lots of people, you get to make the choice.

There are many different situations and terms that embrace the " Life Style" cuckolding, hot wifeing, stag and Vixen.
The most important thing to ask yourself is what do I want out of this. Its about pleasing yourself as much about pleasing your boyfriend. Maybe just start by using story's in your love making. You will find plenty of story's

 

[Britva415]

My boyfriend is into cuckolding - me on the other hand hasn't got a lot of experience with things like these since he's my first boyfriend

Are you into it?

 

[LMWM321]

Are you into it?

Exactly... And if you're not into it then your BF has no business asking [edit: pressuring] you to do it. This isn't about going to a kind of movie you don't like, this is about letting someone, perhaps even a stranger, sexually penetrate you!! And don't forget, being with a stranger carries some risk of violence. ..So, you better want to do this for YOUR OWN enjoyment, not just his.

I would encourage couples contemplating this to see a sex therapist who can lay out all the possibilities for you and size up your relationship for its ability to withstand the possible strain. They won't try to talk you out of it, (hopefully - as that is not what they should do), but they can facilitate a clear dialogue and understanding of the possible pitfalls. ..And you can bet they've seen it work and NOT work.

One such pitfall? ..If your boyfriend agrees to let you enjoy sex outside of the relationship, it's quite likely he's expecting the same freedom. Sounds great...except YOU can line up extracurricular sex with very little effort, whereas he may find it hard. Why?? Because men who want to have sex w/ a stranger (ie., YOU!) are everywhere, but women wanting to have sex with a stranger (ie., HIM) are not - indeed, they tend to be comparatively scarce. I sure hope he realizes this. Our sex therapist told us about a couple that opened their marriage to outside sex because the husband thought it would be fun and good for both of them. ..Well, she had sex with 5 guys within a month while he wasn't able to lineup a single hookup. Not surprisingly, this became a problem when he wan't to rescind the agreement and she didn't want to stop. Ugh.. ..Dude shoulda thought of that first.

 

[Britva415]

if you're not into it then your BF has no business asking you to do it

Well, maybe he doesn't know.

It's OK for him to just ask. We don't know whether he's being manipulative about it or not.

What I hoped to convey to OP was that it's also OK to not want to do it.

I don't know what she wants. But we're on the same page - she doesn't have to just do what the first boyfriend she ever had wants her to do.

 

[LMWM321]

It's OK for him to just ask. We don't know whether he's being manipulative about it or not.

Well said.. And agreed. Asking is fine, but pressuring, being manipulative, etc.. ..is not.

 

[GD6720]

We have been married over 30 years playing out various sexual kinks and fetishies, BUT we have always agreed on what we like and don't like or want to do. As everyone as said on this thread you have a choice, and its YOUR choice.
Sexual encounters must be pleasurable to all that take part.

 

[Aiphira]

Exactly... And if you're not into it then your BF has no business asking [edit: pressuring] you to do it. This isn't about going to a kind of movie you don't like, this is about letting someone, perhaps even a stranger, sexually penetrate you!! And don't forget, being with a stranger carries the risk of being mistreated. ..So, you better want to do this for YOUR OWN enjoyment, not just his.

I would encourage couples contemplating this to see a sex therapist who can lay out all the possibilities for you and size up your relationship for its ability to withstand the possible strain. They won't try to talk you out of it, (hopefully - as that is not what they should do), but they can facilitate a clear dialogue and understanding of the possible pitfalls. ..And you can bet they've seen it work and NOT work.

One such pitfall? ..If your boyfriend agrees to let you enjoy sex outside of the relationship, it's quite likely he's expecting the same freedom. Sounds great...except YOU can line up extracurricular sex with very little effort, whereas he may find it hard. Why?? Because men wanting to have sex w/ a stranger (ie., YOU!) are everywhere, but women wanting to have sex with a stranger (ie., HIM) tend to be much scarcer. I sure hope he realizes this. I recall our sex therapist recounting a couple that opened their marriage to outside sex because the husband insisted it would be fun and good for both of them. ..Well, she had sex with 5 guys within a month while he wasn't able to lineup a single hookup. Not surprisingly, this became a problem when he wan't to rescind the agreement and she didn't want to stop. Ugh.. ..Dude shoulda thought of that first.

Thanks for caring - and the advice. ^^
But I'm not feeling pressured into anything. I know, I'll always be able to say stop and he'd completely respect it since he would only actually like it if I'm into it myself. Due to what he told me about it.
Maybe a sex therapist could support us at some point - will keep it in mind for sure - but I think first I do want to learn more about it...and about my own needs. That's why I'm here, getting great advice from people like you guys (since I have no clue how to get to that in a different manner ^^' appreciate the help of everyone.

 

[Aiphira]

Are you into it?

I don't know yet, tbh
Here to find that out ^^' step by step at least.

 

[LMWM321]

Thanks for caring - and the advice. ^^

Of course! And thank you for circling back and acknowledging the responses.

When I read your post and saw that you just registered, I wasn't sure if you were asking an honest question or if it was yet another thread started by someone tricking others to fan his kink. Glad to see it's the former.

Good luck!

 

[Aiphira]

Of course! And thank you for circling back and acknowledging the responses.

When I read your post and saw that you just registered, I wasn't sure if you were asking an honest question or if it was yet another thread started by someone tricking others to fan his kink. Glad to see it's the former.

Good luck!

^-^ Thank you!
I'm honestly really surprised at how kind and courteous the responses are... I don't know, somehow I hadn't expected that.
But as said - I appreciate it a lot!