Do you hide your sexual needs from your significant other?

[UncleWayne]

Even wearing a padded bra to hide her mastectomy, it didn’t help her. She was too old for a reconstruction. She even tried to encourage me to find someone else. It must be hard for females that have had a mastectomy. At least I had porn and stories and my hand.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Even wearing a padded bra to hide her mastectomy, it didn’t help her. She was too old for a reconstruction. She even tried to encourage me to find someone else. It must be hard for females that have had a mastectomy. At least I had porn and stories and my hand.

We all find coping mechanism.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I definitely hide my needs, she has no interest at all in hearing about my wishes or fantasies and has told me as such on more than one occasion.

Ouch, sorry about that, thank you for sharing, hopefully coming here on literotica will help you find some fun.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Would prefer everything was an open discussion but that will ever happen from her end.

 

[Uncut1969]

Have to she is very vanilla and it would be great if I could open up to her and explore with her! Not going to happen unfortunately

 

[hilton1958]

I will admit that I have had more meaningful conversations on the lit chat with virtual strangers that with my wife.

Having tried to talk to her about it, I know how she would react and judge me.

I am not unhappy about the choices I have made, but, I am curious to know if others here are in the same boat I am in?

I'm in the same boat, I definitely hide most of my needs and desires from her, because I know she just wouldn't get it, and it would only upset her a whole bunch, and very likely ruin our relationship and our sex life.

 

[Britva415]

I guess it’s a matter of “how bad do you need it.”

 

[cadman7777]

I pretty much hide it now......I know how she feels about everything so it's no use to talk about it really

 

[Deadfreak]

If she wanted to know, I would tell

 

[Britva415]

I don't hide that I have them, but since she isn't the one who's going to be satisfying them, then there's no reason for me to reveal everything to her.

My other partners, my sex friends? I tell them exactly what I want. And they can do the same.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I don't hide that I have them, but since she isn't the one who's going to be satisfying them, then there's no reason for me to reveal everything to her.

My other partners, my sex friends? I tell them exactly what I want. And they can do the same.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[Cheshirecat1971]

Most of my sexual desires and needs as well as hers we talk openly about. We have an open relationship and if there were ever things we cant or wont do with each other we can fulfill our desires with someone else - as long as we stay true to ourselves!

But of course there are some hidden desires I never told her or anyone else about. So, I am very happy I found this safe space were I can talk about all those things going on in my head. (For example: I really love the stories about incest and I fantasize a lot about that topic but I never told anyone until here and now)

 

[Strixaluco]

Now closet to 3 years into this relationship, I can say that I have indeed discussed all my desires on some level with him. Even the one that doesn't really match with his.

I just obviously don't shove that part to his face. Luckily it's not a major thing for me, I can easily live without it. He has a similarly a minor thing that I simply cannot really even try (spanking doesn't go together at all with being hypersensitive to pain). We know of those parts of each other and accept them, ans us being different in those regards.

Otherwise we discuss our fantasies and desires often and in detail.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Now closet to 3 years into this relationship, I can say that I have indeed discussed all my desires on some level with him. Even the one that doesn't really match with his.

I just obviously don't shove that part to his face. Luckily it's not a major thing for me, I can easily live without it. He has a similarly a minor thing that I simply cannot really even try (spanking doesn't go together at all with being hypersensitive to pain). We know of those parts of each other and accept them, ans us being different in those regards.

Otherwise we discuss our fantasies and desires often and in detail.

Wow, good for you two.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Most of my sexual desires and needs as well as hers we talk openly about. We have an open relationship and if there were ever things we cant or wont do with each other we can fulfill our desires with someone else - as long as we stay true to ourselves!

But of course there are some hidden desires I never told her or anyone else about. So, I am very happy I found this safe space were I can talk about all those things going on in my head. (For example: I really love the stories about incest and I fantasize a lot about that topic but I never told anyone until here and now)

Fantasies are a way to experiment things in your mind without impacting the physical world.

Some fantasies are better suited locked up in the mind. That doesn’t mean that they cannot be erotically charged.

 

[13Fantasies]

I don't bring them up.

Pointless to talk about sexual desires and kinks when sex itself in any form is a no go.

I've just randomly started asking if she'd like to make live to me. I get the No and move on

 

[Gamina]

No never hidden anything from my partner and vice versa. The day wants and needs become taboo between us, is the day the relationship ends.

Now this does not mean that just because something is discusses that it needs to happen or be facilitated, as respecting boundaries is just as important as honesty.

But not even be able to talk about things is a major redflag to me

 

[1darknightowl]

No never hidden anything from my partner and vice versa. The day wants and needs become taboo between us, is the day the relationship ends.

Now this does not mean that just because something is discusses that it needs to happen or be facilitated, as respecting boundaries is just as important as honesty.

But not even be able to talk about things is a major redflag to me

I was going to answer the question but @Gamina has got the perfect response.

Discussion is important but our partner is not obliged to fulfill anything.

 

[Britva415]

But not even be able to talk about things is a major redflag to me

100% this.

Not being able to talk is a MUCH bigger problem than not having a certain kind of sex.

 

[Vitriolhack]

No never hidden anything from my partner and vice versa. The day wants and needs become taboo between us, is the day the relationship ends.

Now this does not mean that just because something is discusses that it needs to happen or be facilitated, as respecting boundaries is just as important as honesty.

But not even be able to talk about things is a major redflag to me

While I don’t disagree on the premise of your point, what tends to happen over the long run, say 5, 10,15 or 25 years of marriage you are not the person you were when you first started dating then marrying the person you are with. And vice versa of course.

How do you grow and change in synch with the other? Can one person really be the end all? Our favorite conversation person, our favorite sexual partner our favorite support person, etc..

I agree that not able to talk or not able to talk about some aspects of your life over the years becomes a heavy weight difficult to carry.

 

[LaylaBelle]

I will admit that I have had more meaningful conversations on the lit chat with virtual strangers that with my wife.

Having tried to talk to her about it, I know how she would react and judge me.

I am not unhappy about the choices I have made, but, I am curious to know if others here are in the same boat I am in?

I am open with my boyfriend about everything but he’s not into what I’m into. After years of being unsatisfied I just decided to come here. He says that internet bs means nothing, so I get to have fun!

 

[Vitriolhack]

I am open with my boyfriend about everything but he’s not into what I’m into. After years of being unsatisfied I just decided to come here. He says that internet bs means nothing, so I get to have fun!

Internet doesn’t mean anything in the physical world but, you have to admit, some well written words are worth their weight in gold! Personally, I prefer a silver reward!

 

[Gamina]

While I don’t disagree on the premise of your point, what tends to happen over the long run, say 5, 10,15 or 25 years of marriage you are not the person you were when you first started dating then marrying the person you are with. And vice versa of course.

How do you grow and change in synch with the other? Can one person really be the end all? Our favorite conversation person, our favorite sexual partner our favorite support person, etc..

I agree that not able to talk or not able to talk about some aspects of your life over the years becomes a heavy weight difficult to carry.

How do you change in sync is easy enough. You do not hide stuff from your partner and you keep talking about everything

 

[Strixaluco]

How do you change in sync is easy enough. You do not hide stuff from your partner and you keep talking about everything

It doesn't guarantee being in sync, but it is also the only way to manage doing it.

 

[Gamina]

It doesn't guarantee being in sync, but it is also the only way to manage doing it.

True since it's not taxes or death it is not guaranteed.