Sex & Shenanigans

It's best to make the answers to all sex questionnaires public. Why, I posted my kink test results on Facebook & Instagram, and it had the most amazing outcome, none of my bitchy aunts talks to me anymore, and suddenly all these dudes I'd lost touch with from highschool started friending me 🤷‍♀️
Sharpening my pencil now … and no that’s not a euphemism.
 
@MindYaBitness
What’s the best way to treat a lady I care deeply about?
Ladies love mystery. Make sure to be constantly texting someone, but refuse to tell her who. Keep several locks on your phone, and show deep concern whenever she accidentally touches it. She'll think you're an international spy, or CIA at the very least. She'll be so excited she'll tell all her friends about you. Ignore their dirty looks, they're just jealous she snagged such a prize.
 
Ladies love mystery. Make sure to be constantly texting someone, but refuse to tell her who. Keep several locks on your phone, and show deep concern whenever she accidentally touches it. She'll think you're an international spy, or CIA at the very least. She'll be so excited she'll tell all her friends about you. Ignore their dirty looks, they're just jealous she snagged such a prize.
…don’t forget to send tons of unsolicited dick pics 😉
 
FFS, men get everything backwards!
Me: "hi, how are you"
Men: takes pants off

Me: "Let's go over this presentation before the meeting"
Male Collegue: Starts unzipping slacks
Me: "Do I need to get the spray bottle again, Rick?"
Male Collegue: Pouts as he dejectedly zips up his slacks

Me: Shows PG-13 cleavage on Lit
Men, collectively: "She wants to see my dick" takes pants off & flood my DMs

Me: " you should take your pants off before you go to work"
Men: "keep my pants on, got it!"
I'll keep working on it, MindY!
https://media1.giphy.com/media/777Aby0ZetYE8/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952xtly3btrhvklef7rwhptqu1dsgx9j0owpun2nqgr&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
 
Nothing shows more sincerity than publicly responding with your private thoughts and opinions. Trust me on this one, as as a personal recipient of such a demonstration of  angst ardor, she'll be flattered!
Just look at the PB forum for inspiration! Should they keep some of their replies to themselves or ...I dunno ...read a book....sure but we're all better for their word vomit personal opinions!
 
Let's get nostalgic and go with "Toys". This will give everyone an opportunity to creatively showcase their vintage GI Joes, Barbies, and Teddy Bears. What else could be more Lit-pic-worthy than your Superman cape and nothing else????
Thanks Magic 8 Ball! 🎱 Has anyone ever told you just how helpful you can be?!?!
 
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