Sex & Shenanigans

[Qky75]

Fap always, the Lord said so:

"The messy house will be with you always, but fapping is only for so long as your peripheral blood flow is healthy" 1 Fappalonions 14:7

For you have heard one in the hand is worth two in the bush ...but I tell you one in the hand is better when no bush is around.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Hypothetically: my dick is stuck in a vacuum cleaner…
Should I finish before removing it?

AFAF… but time is of the essence…

the vacuum cleaner will be insulted if you don't finish. Is that what you want? A vacuum cleaner that sulks about the house, wondering why it wasn't pretty enough to make you cum??? I, for one, make sure the engage in mutual masterbatory activities with all my household appliances. It's good for morale!

 

[Qky75]

the vacuum cleaner will be insulted if you don't finish. Is that what you want? A vacuum cleaner that sulks about the house, wondering it wasn't pretty enough to make you cum??? I, for one, make sure the engage in mutuak masterbatory activities with all my household appliances. It's good for morale!

I bet your blender is a kinky fuck

 

[MrMakersMark]

She wasn't shitting. All of this advice is absolutely atrocious!

 

[MindYaBitness]

Maybe I will prepare my answer key and send it to only those who are interested. Haha. Need to go get my pen and paper.

It's best to make the answers to all sex questionnaires public. Why, I posted my kink test results on Facebook & Instagram, and it had the most amazing outcome, none of my bitchy aunts talks to me anymore, and suddenly all these dudes I'd lost touch with from highschool started friending me

 

[MidwestPrincess23]

She wasn't shitting. All of this advice is absolutely atrocious!

But giving me some of the best laughs ever on this frigid Monday morning!

 

[MindYaBitness]

She wasn't shitting. All of this advice is absolutely atrocious!

I'm an over achiever by nature

if you want actual advice, you'll have to DM @crazychemgirl on her advice thread

 

[NakedStoryLover]

Dont call in sick, strip down, but only your slacks & chonies, keeps the cockring on. Tell anyone who asks that it's your homage to a kinky Winny the Pooh porn you saw this weekend

Dammit, NSL. MindY gave you VERY clear instructions!

Think, man. Think!

 

[MidwestPrincess23]

View attachment 2541211

Should I tell my in-laws what I really think of them??

 

[Dayhoosier]

Dont call in sick, strip down, but only your slacks & chonies, keeps the cockring on. Tell anyone who asks that it's your homage to a kinky Winny the Pooh porn you saw this weekend

Wait I thought you were giving BAD advice. Now I'm confused

 

[Medicalman13152]

It's best to make the answers to all sex questionnaires public. Why, I posted my kink test results on Facebook & Instagram, and it had the most amazing outcome, none of my bitchy aunts talks to me anymore, and suddenly all these dudes I'd lost touch with from highschool started friending me

That is exactly why I don't have Facebook!

 

[MrMakersMark]

I'm an over achiever by nature

if you want actual advice, you'll have to DM @crazychemgirl on her advice thread

Think I will settle for the advice that let's you know ahead of time it's bad.

Can't see myself getting "actual advice" from someone who usually enters and leaves our interactions exclaiming. "Fuck you!"

 

[MindYaBitness]

Dammit, NSL. MindY gave you VERY clear instructions!

Think, man. Think!

FFS, men get everything backwards!
Me: "hi, how are you"
Men: takes pants off

Me: "Let's go over this presentation before the meeting"
Male Collegue: Starts unzipping slacks
Me: "Do I need to get the spray bottle again, Rick?"
Male Collegue: Pouts as he dejectedly zips up his slacks

Me: Shows PG-13 cleavage on Lit
Men, collectively: "She wants to see my dick" takes pants off & flood my DMs

Me: " you should take your pants off before you go to work"
Men: "keep my pants on, got it!"

 

[MindYaBitness]

That is exactly why I don't have Facebook!

Who cares! We didn't go to high school together, so you don't count!!!!

 

[MindYaBitness]

Should I tell my in-laws what I really think of them??

honesty is the foundation of a good relationship. You should make a spreadsheet of every year that you've known them and then list categories of when and where they have offended you. They'll thank you, and you'll be closer than ever before.

 

[Tallulah82]

FFS, men get everything backwards!
Me: "hi, how are you"
Men: takes pants off

Me: "Let's go over this presentation before the meeting"
Male Collegue: Starts unzipping slacks
Me: "Do I need to get the spray bottle again, Rick?"
Male Collegue: Pouts as he dejectedly zips up his slacks

Me: Shows PG-13 cleavage on Lit
Men, collectively: "She wants to see my dick" takes pants off & flood my DMs

Me: " you should take your pants off before you go to work"
Men: "keep my pants on, got it!"

To be fair, if you slid into my pm's and said hi, I'd be taking my pants off in a flash, too.

 

[FormerAllStar2]

FFS, men get everything backwards!
Me: "hi, how are you"
Men: takes pants off

Me: "Let's go over this presentation before the meeting"
Male Collegue: Starts unzipping slacks
Me: "Do I need to get the spray bottle again, Rick?"
Male Collegue: Pouts as he dejectedly zips up his slacks

Me: Shows PG-13 cleavage on Lit
Men, collectively: "She wants to see my dick" takes pants off & flood my DMs

Me: " you should take your pants off before you go to work"
Men: "keep my pants on, got it!"

[deletes draft PM and zips up pants]

 

[Medicalman13152]

Who cares! We didn't go to high school together, so you don't count!!!!

Are you sure???!!! I thought we did?!?!?

 

[MindYaBitness]

Think I will settle for the advice that let's you know ahead of time it's bad.

Can't see myself getting "actual advice" from someone who usually enters and leaves our interactions exclaiming. "Fuck you!"

studies in the last ten years show that people who use profanity in their speech actually have higher intelligence and are more honest than those who don't indulge explicatives. She's a sweary chemist, I trust her advice above all others!

 

[cactusjack0584]

the vacuum cleaner will be insulted if you don't finish. Is that what you want? A vacuum cleaner that sulks about the house, wondering it wasn't pretty enough to make you cum??? I, for one, make sure the engage in mutuak masterbatory activities with all my household appliances. It's good for morale!

Stellar advice! I could see how that would suck for the vacuum to feel unfulfilled.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Stellar advice! I could see how that would suck for the vacuum to feel unfulfilled.

Thoughtfulness & compassion are two very attractive traits, be careful, or the appliances might catch feels

 

[MrMakersMark]

studies in the last ten years show that people who use profanity in their speech actually have higher intelligence and are more honest than those who don't indulge explicatives. She's a sweary chemist, I trust her advice above all others!

Hmm..
You have given me something to consider.
This is advice.
But given you just advised a dude to keep banging his Rug Doctor or it will feel insecure, unappreciated or unwanted....color me conflicted.

 

[cactusjack0584]

Thoughtfulness & compassion are two very attractive traits, be careful, or the appliances might catch feels

Don’t worry I made it very clear this is strictly a sexual relationship. I’ve learned my lesson… my refrigerator won’t even speak to me anymore…

 

[cactusjack0584]

studies in the last ten years show that people who use profanity in their speech actually have higher intelligence and are more honest than those who don't indulge explicatives…..

This is actually true… not sure if you meant it as a joke, if you did ignore me…

 

[MindYaBitness]

Hmm..
You have given me something to consider.
This is advice.
But given you just advised a dude to keep banging his Rug Doctor or it will feel insecure, unappreciated or unwanted....color me conflicted.

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