Let’s talk about bidets!

[Noor]

Who has them, what kind, how long have they had them and do they love them?

I have a bidet sprayer and a portable one as well.
I go mine in the pandemic during the great toilet paper shortage. Now I want a toilet one with a dryer.
I love them and am never going back!

 

[LMWM321]

Hahah... Yes, they are the best. After buying one 7-8 months ago (a Toto Washlet C5 Bidet - about $400 from Amazon) we are NEVER going to be without one. It took 15 minutes to attach, provided you have an GFCI Outlet nearby.

In addition to its intended purpose, my wife almost always uses it before sex because she knows I absolutely LOVE rimming her.

Unconvinced? Watch the Southpark Episode called "Japanese Toilet" ..It's hilarious and ends with a sincere public service announcement about how bidets are not only way cleaner than toilet paper, they are also much better for the environment.

 

[Noor]

Hahah... Yes, they are the best. After buying one 7-8 months ago (a Toto Washlet C5 Bidet - about $400 from Amazon) we are NEVER going to be without one. It took 15 minutes to attach, provided you have an GFCI Outlet nearby.

In addition to its intended purpose, my wife almost always uses it before sex because she knows I absolutely LOVE rimming her.

Unconvinced? Watch the Southpark Episode called "Japanese Toilet" ..It's hilarious and ends with a sincere public service announcement about how bidets are not only way cleaner than toilet paper, they are also much better for the environment.

Women seem more comfortable with oral after bidets, probably because they feel nicer and cleaner.

 

[UKSilverFox]

They can do all those things? Does Dyson do one? I bet it would be expensive but you would come away clean, dry and with a side parting, back comb or ringlets.

Just not sure I am ready to expose my delicate botty to that much technology.

My only experience was in France on holiday, yes the big built in type, and yes being ignorant I did wash my feet in it.

 

[Noor]

They can do all those things? Does Dyson do one? I bet it would be expensive but you would come away clean, dry and with a side parting, back comb or ringlets.

Just not sure I am ready to expose my delicate botty to that much technology.

My only experience was in France on holiday, yes the big built in type, and yes being ignorant I did wash my feet in it.

Initially they weren’t designed for guys’ botties , but for women, you know the ones who have periods and childbirth?
Yes, there are fancy Japanese ones that wash and dry.

 

[birdy]

I love my bidet! I have an attachment that is fixed to the toilet and have been using it for the last 5/6 years. I don't remember the brand. I wish it had a warm water function instead of having a blast of cold water but I use it regardless.

 

[Noor]

I love my bidet! I have an attachment that is fixed to the toilet and have been using it for the last 5/6 years. I don't remember the brand. I wish it had a warm water function instead of having a blast of cold water but I use it regardless.

My friend in Hawaii had one like that and she said it was refreshing! I live in Minnesota and cold water in the winter is ice water!

 

[UKSilverFox]

Does that mean you end up producing ice cubes like a wombat (Its true but its poop, look it up).

 

[birdy]

My friend in Hawaii had one like that and she said it was refreshing! I live in Minnesota and cold water in the winter is ice water!

Oh definitely! I was at a restaurant once that had a bidet in the bathroom and it also had a heated toilet seat. That was like heaven... And might need to be my next investment!

 

[Not Normal]

We're on our second Alpha JX bidet toilet seat. It's tankless, with an instantaneous water heater and heated drying function. The seat itself is heated as well, though we don't usually use that feature until it's really cold out. It also has a light, which is great for peeing in the middle of the night. It has a remote control, so no weird twisting to read the controls.

We have Brondell travel bidets, which are basically squirt bottles, but even those are better than the old way.

I'll never not have one in a place I live.

 

[Noor]

We're on our second Alpha JX bidet toilet seat. It's tankless, with an instantaneous water heater and heated drying function. The seat itself is heated as well, though we don't usually use that feature until it's really cold out. It also has a light, which is great for peeing in the middle of the night. It has a remote control, so no weird twisting to read the controls.

We have Brondell travel bidets, which are basically squirt bottles, but even those are better than the old way.

I'll never not have one in a place I live.

I have a travel one by Toto, and 2 cheaper ones, I leave one at my parents and ones in my backpack.
Toto takes batteries and the other two are rechargable.

 

[caughtstrokin]

I have one of those fancy Japanese seats. It is always warm, which is really nice in midwest winters. It definitely feels refreshing and way cleaner that paper.

 

[LeSabreur]

I installed a couple of el cheapo under-seat bidets from Amazon early in the pandemic...yes, Costco really was out of TP! They just spray cold water and have a twist valve...left for rear, right for front. My wife and I quickly fell in love with them and now the idea of using dry toilet paper for #2 is barbaric!

Last year I installed a high-end Toto Washlet during a master bath remodel and now we're REALLY spoiled! It has an adjustable-temp heated seat, is a tank-style with adjustable water temperature, has a variety of settings for positioning and intensity of the water stream, bum-drying, as well as energy-saving settings, self-cleaning feature, and a negative-pressure fan with carbon filter that virtually eliminates odors. Any do-it-yourselfer can install it, though I did have to put an outlet behind the toilet.

We a very, very happy with this thing. Several hundred bucks well spent!

 

[LMWM321]

My wife and I quickly fell in love with them and now the idea of using dry toilet paper for #2 is distasteful!

Same.. It seems Bidets and Bidet Seats are far more common in Europe and Japan. ..The US is late to this party.

And like you, we can't go back to just using TP. Blech...

 

[Pabiporffor]

So are these things powerful enough to blast the tagnuts and dangleberries from a hairy buttcrack or do you still need to tug them off with a bit of tissue?

Asking for a friend.

 

[Noor]

So are these things powerful enough to blast the tagnuts and dangleberries from a hairy buttcrack or do you still need to tug them off with a bit of tissue?

Asking for a friend.

I have not used tissue since I got the bidet sprayer and portable ones.

 

[spacekowboy]

Poseidon is raping your buttholes.

 

[LMWM321]

My Toto Washlet C5 aims just slightly left of the target zone, or so I thought. Running it through its diagnostic mode I confirmed that the water stream is actually perfectly aimed - it indeed goes straight up. So the Toto isn't the problem. ..It's my anus that's the problem - it's a bit off-center.

So, I saw my urologist. After an embarrassingly intimate exam involving a ruler and a queasy-looking nurse, he confirmed that I suffer from Anal Drift. He said it's just something that happens to some people. So, he scheduled Rectal Re-centering Surgery which will shift my anus 1.5 cm to the right. ..It won't be covered by insurance (about $15k) and the recovery is excruciating, but after a short 2-3 months of wearing diapers and sitting on stain-resistant pillow, my Toto bidet seat will be hitting me dead center every time. Until the surgery, I have to shift my butt a little to the right to get the full benefit of the rinse which I find inconvenient and annoying. So, I'm REALLY looking forward to the surgery.

 

[Noor]

My Toto Washlet C5 aims just slightly left of the target zone, or so I thought. Running it through its diagnostic mode I confirmed that the water stream is actually perfectly aimed - it indeed goes straight up. So the Toto isn't the problem. ..It's my anus that's the problem - it's a bit off-center.

So, I saw my urologist. After an embarrassingly intimate exam involving a ruler and a queasy-looking nurse, he confirmed that I suffer from Anal Drift. He said it's just something that happens to some people. So, he scheduled Rectal Re-centering Surgery which will shift my anus 1.5 cm to the right. ..It won't be covered by insurance (about $15k) and the recovery is excruciating, but after a short 2-3 months of wearing diapers and sitting on stain-resistant pillow, my Toto bidet seat will be hitting me dead center every time. Until the surgery, I have to shift my butt a little to the right to get the full benefit of the rinse which I find inconvenient and annoying. So, I'm REALLY looking forward to the surgery.

This is funny!
Strangely enough, women can get hip alignment issues after childbirth or surgery where they can no longer pee straight down and instead pee backwards or forwards often onto themselves. This is resolved by “ feminine” physical therapy though, not surgery.

 

[Lucien_Al]

Women seem more comfortable with oral after bidets, probably because they feel nicer and cleaner.

My wife says she felt far cleaner after using an automatic toilet with dryer. I wasnt that happy as the scent on her panties was no more.

 

[Noor]

My wife says she felt far cleaner after using an automatic toilet with dryer. I wasnt that happy as the scent on her panties was no more.

On the other hand, most of my female friends with bidets are more in to receiving oral afterwards..,

 

[Lucien_Al]

On the other hand, most of my female friends with bidets are more in to receiving oral afterwards..,

I can understand that. Thankfully I love a womans natural scent and taste.

 

[Noor]

I can understand that. Thankfully I love a womans natural scent and taste.

Be like napoleon and tell her not to wash before you come home lol

 

[Lucien_Al]

Be like napoleon and tell her not to wash before you come home lol

I will normally ask her not to shower before we play. Napoleon was clearly a wiser man than history portrays.

 

[stickygirl]

Most of the world ( 70% says Google ) uses water to wash their bits after taking a poo - we're the weird ones. It's actually pretty wasteful on the environment to cut trees down to wipe your butt ( the bark is sharp too ).
I've used public loos that have a hose pipe next to the toilet, but then there's always a huge puddle on the floor, and where do you dry your hands before you pull everything up? I'm unconvinced for public ones but I do like feeling fresh.

I heard a joke once about a Japanese women's restroom that had buttons labelled WW - BD - ATR. A man was allowed to use the facility but warned to Not Press the Buttons!! Being a man he knew better and he that discovered Warm Wash, then Blow Dry were very pleasant. After pressing ATR he awoke in hospital. "What happened?" he cried in pain. "You were warned weren't you? Don't press the buttons. That third one stands for Automatic Tampon Remover