✨Highlights and Bombshells💥

[Love_Is_Blonde]

 

[Qky75]

This topic seems to come up every few months in different forms and in different threads. You’re right, BFG, it does seem to have happened to us all at some point, and if it hasn’t, then count yourself lucky.

I think that’s testament as to just how real these friendships and relationships are. Whenever I see someone say something like, “It’s just an online relationship or friendship, it doesn’t mean anything,” I think about how real those feelings of loss are when someone just disappears.

Its cliche to say the person on the other side of the screen is real...but cliches are such for the universal truth in the statement. I've been in both sides of ghosting for various reasons but I try now to keep it in the front of my mind that I at the very least need to either close the connection openly or offer a potential return window. If the reason is them I tell them. If the reason has nothing to do with them I make it a point to tell them that also. Either way is freeing as closure has been obtained.

 

[Endless_Night]

Reading above, quick question—If you have been ghosted, have you ever tried to contact the person and ask why?

Yes. Once, in an intimate relationship.

I did try to contact a few times. It was atypical for me to press, but the behavior seemed so out of character to who I thought they were as a person. It left me deeply confused and without closure. We did reconnect after a couple of years, and settled into friendly communication for a few months, before they ghosted me AGAIN.

Closure achieved.

That’s who she is.

This.

I once read a humorous story where the protagonist contrived seemingly dangerous situations to see how prospective suitors handled themselves. Most amusing, but also somewhat true. You never know who someone really is until difficulties occurs.

 

[Endless_Night]

*dashes back in*

I’ve told this story before, but years ago on Lit I was contacted by two separate women at two separate times and they both told me I was a jerk becuase I was ignoring them.

Apparently, they had responded to things I said within threads and I didn’t reply back.

Meant to say that I found this surprising. In my experience you are particularly assiduous at responding to posts pointed in your direction.

*zooooooom*

 

[hotwords229_A]

*dashes back in*


Meant to say that I found this surprising. In my experience you are particularly assiduous at responding to posts pointed in your direction.

*zooooooom*

I agree. I am awesome.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Reading above, quick question—If you have been ghosted, have you ever tried to contact the person and ask why?

I've written Gov. Gretchen Whitmer multiple times on all of our behalf on the off chance she's Suzanne.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Reading above, quick question—If you have been ghosted, have you ever tried to contact the person and ask why?

I've not been ghosted. I don't think. Ghosting is when the person is out and visible and just ignores you as if they don't know you, had never known you.

I dont think that's happened. If it has, I've not noticed.

I've been disappeared on. That's hard. When they are just .... gone... and there is nothing. No messages, no explanations. Just one day there, the next day *poof*. Puff of smoke.

You can't control what other people do, and what they do it their own choice. Noone makes them, or forces them to do anything in this instance.

So don't let it concern yourself. Either decide that you dodged a bullet and move on, or that they have issues outside of your knowledge, and forgive and move on.

(Both easier said than done.)

 

[Endless_Night]

I've been disappeared on. That's hard. When they are just .... gone... and there is nothing. No messages, no explanations. Just one day there, the next day *poof*. Puff of smoke.

I would call this ghosting.

 

[Mei5ter]

It sucks to lose a friend, or more accurately, to find out a friend is actually an emotional nut job that you’re better off without.

In my early days on Lit, and once or twice on other sites before that, I stopped engaging with one or two people for precisely this reason. You cannot dig your way out of a hole, and especially not if it's a hole someone else has dug for you.

 

[Mei5ter]

Let’s talk about… ummm
​

View attachment 2536212
Do you have the gift of gab?

Yes. On the dismally rare occasions I have time to hold a proper conversation with anyone.

What topics do you like to discuss? Or does it depend on who you are talking to? Are there topics that you actively avoid talking about— understandably there are some touchy topics and those count if you want to mention those.

It isn't the subjects which are difficult. It's the people you're talking to.

You can have radically different views from me on God, life, death and Portsmouth, and as long as you can talk to me nicely, that's fine. But if you drop dumb, casual sexism into an otherwise perfectly anodyne conversation about whether it's quicker to go down the M3 or the A303, you're manifestly a fuckwit and I won't like you.

(No mud slinging or else time out chairs galore!) but what are subjects that you would and would not like to discuss and with whom- why and why not? (Oof what a terrible sentence!)

I would not like to discuss anything at all with anyone who posts in the Politics threads. That place is the equivalent of a mediaeval midden. Shit exists, and it has to go somewhere, but we don't go there for pleasure.

How about here on Lit? Anything you like to talk about? Anything extra naughty? Do tell!

Yes. I'm always interested in people's sexual tastes and proclivities, and what they like and why. It's one thing Lit offers that most other forums don't (unless you use the secret password on the Archers Discussion Group). Unfortunately, I have learned that this can be confused with flirting, so I tend not to ask these questions as I once did.

What about those interests that you have that you can’t find a partner who shares that interest? Maybe someone here has that same hobby! You never know. I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in some astrology conversations and I was pleasantly surprised!

Unexpectedly, yes. I'm not very interesting but I have a fairly eclectic list of hobbies and passions. Here as in other things, Lit has reassured me that it isn't always just me.

Anything on the tip of your tongue?

A white cat hair, since you ask.

I have a ton of things but it’s my bedtime. I will be sharing plenty later.

My inbox is open. Unusually.

G’night, All. (I think I may be turning into a night otter!)

A night otter? Not sure what that is, but I think a water otter is what we call a kettle...

 

[BreukelenAnima]

As an idea to pivot away from the feeling of being ghosted...

I love the film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and the message that it sends: Even if you knew in advance that things will end terribly or that you'll be hurt, you would do the same thing over again. You would still enter into that relationship again and again...

Sometimes being ghosted on this site is a similar scenario. The chance to make a real connection will always outweigh the terrible feeling of being abruptly ignored... Every follow up message that was sent (before the ghosting commenced) was a chance to create a more lasting connection, a deeper understanding. That other person chose to ignore that. They rejected the opportunity for that, not us as individuals. In many ways, it is their loss. *It's also not the connection we are needing...or deserve.

...And knowing all this, maybe we would still enter into that dialogue and do it all over again... we would still seek out those early moments of excitement in getting to know someone new, in the joy of finding things in common, the playful banter, the sexual innuendo...and just having that attraction grow into something that seems organic and feels special -- however fleeting.

The beauty of Lit is coming across like-minded people and hopefully turning it into something that feels real and brings a bit of comfort in our daily lives. Forums like this are certainly a part of that, so I celebrate this thread and everyone's opinions! *For those with a pure and stout heart--something good awaits.

 

[Endless_Night]

Yes. I'm always interested in people's sexual tastes and proclivities, and what they like and why. It's one thing Lit offers that most other forums don't (unless you use the secret password on the Archers Discussion Group). Unfortunately, I have learned that this can be confused with flirting, so I tend not to ask these questions as I once did.

Really? This surprises me.

I am a positive cornucopia of questions and I don't think I've had this experience.

I suppose, though, mine are limited to people I know reasonably well or out openly on the board rather than casual acquaintance.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Also, on a scale from 1-10, how sexy is this?

 

[cheekygirl75]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

View attachment 2538341

I think I'd go for the one on the left... I know they're supposed to be sexy and comfort isn't a factor, but that one looks the most comfortable and I think it's easier to be sexy when you're comfortable in what you're wearing. Maybe it's because I'm older, but comfort is what makes me feel sexy.

Also, on a scale from 1-10, how sexy is this?

View attachment 2538342

100!

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I think I'd go for the one on the left... I know they're supposed to be sexy and comfort isn't a factor, but that one looks the most comfortable and I think it's easier to be sexy when you're comfortable in what you're wearing. Maybe it's because I'm older, but comfort is what makes me feel sexy.


100!

Yes the white is really pretty. Looks like old school glam or maybe a touch of femme noir. I agree about feeling comfortable in what you’re wearing, too.

I’m eyeing the maid costume. I love costumes and a maid outfit is one I do not have. I’ve always wanted to have one like Yvette in the movie Clue.
(although Mrs. White steals the show)

https://media0.giphy.com/media/VsaD2hUogMBdLfJ7St/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe91woagkbznqtxalts3niyw7t7q0ixx369yt93xd6i0&ep=v1_gifs_related&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[hotwords229_A]

Either the white one or the maid costume would look great on my bedroom floor, right now (or pretty much any time).

 

[deft]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

I’m in a floaty white mood… concealing more than revealing, yet sheer enough to suggest playfulness. Also, it’s a wonderful visual to be wearing white and to be backlit… in sensual sihouette.

 

[birdy]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

I'm going for the far right because I I personally don't like costumes or night gowns. I'd rather be naked, and the one on the right fits my mood.

Also, on a scale from 1-10, how sexy is this?

It's an 11.

Yes the white is really pretty. Looks like old school glam or maybe a touch of femme noir. I agree about feeling comfortable in what you’re wearing, too.

I’m eyeing the maid costume. I love costumes and a maid outfit is one I do not have. I’ve always wanted to have one like Yvette in the movie Clue.
(although Mrs. White steals the show)

You can definitely rock Yvette's maid costume. I'd love to dress up like Mrs. White. I already have a wig that matches her hair, and I love her dress.

 

[Dayhoosier]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

View attachment 2538341

ON the left.
Why? Here's the thing: I'm not sure how to articulate it but when I looked at this picture my eye was drawn there....scanned all three and went back to it. Is it the idea that I'd hopefully get to expose the legs and behind (my favs)? Maybe? .... This is a long post to say left but it's a "gut" response. I'm not always sure why I like what I like. Might be worth figuring out.

 

[Mei5ter]

Either the white one or the maid costume would look great on my bedroom floor

Hang on.

She's gone to all that trouble to wear it and look amazing, and you want her to take it off again??

 

[Mei5ter]

Also, on a scale from 1-10, how sexy is this?

View attachment 2538342

I was concerned his waistcoat was incorrectly buttoned. But after extensive checking, I think we're all right.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Hang on.

She's gone to all that trouble to wear it and look amazing, and you want her to take it off again??

Very much so.
Yes.

 

[Apisto42]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

View attachment 2538341

White. I haven’t been feeling very sexy lately and I think the white would be comfy and see through.

Also, on a scale from 1-10, how sexy is this?

View attachment 2538342

You told me you had stopped the recording!

 

[AmberLGreen]

You choose
which outfit are you in the mood for? (For you or for your someone). Which speaks to you right this very moment and why? Is this something you think you’d usually choose or is this just the mood you’re in now? Or do you have something else in mind? What makes you feel sexy? What do you like your person to wear? ​

View attachment 2538341

The middle one. The white one is too long. I only have little legs and would trip over in that (of course I would make it a very sexy trip, but still…) . I have too many body bumps to wear the one on the right!!

Is it wrong that I am imaging @Apisto42 in the white one, @deft in the maid’s one and @hotwords229_A in the strappy number