Cock Talk

[Wand3rlust]

No it’s fucking not. Who are you and what have you done with the real Queen of Sarcasm!

Shush. I was man-baiting. He nearly fell for it too...

 

[hotwords229_A]

too bad my partner wasn't in to lengthy interactions

How does she feel about girthy ones?
That sucks though. I hope things have gotten better for you.

Shush. I was man-baiting. He nearly fell for it too...

I man-bate before bed. It helps me sleep.

 

[jason28053]

Shush. I was man-baiting. He nearly fell for it too...

I think you misspelled masturbating

 

[lavendersilk]

I man-bate before bed. It helps me sleep.

Is it exhausting?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Is it exhausting?

It’s relieving.
Wait, are we talking about the same thing?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

How does she feel about girthy ones?

Probably not a fan, but that's a challenge to say because it's like a hot dog in a hallway.

That sucks though. I hope things have gotten better for you.

It's working out alright in the end.

I man-bate before bed. It helps me sleep.

Is he a FWB or are you more serious?

Oh, you didn't mean with a partner...

 

[cheekygirl75]

I recently had lunch with an old friend I hadn't seen in years. It was fun to catch up. Among the less-fun things I learned was that her hubby recently started taking Zoloft. This apparently has caused him to be able to get hard but not allow him to reach orgasm. She said she loved it the first time because he kept going and going. It was only after he stopped did she get a sense of his frustration. They tried again a couple of days later and had the same things happen. She said that even going at it hard and fast didn't do anything more than tire him out. According to her, he didn't even feel as if he was getting close. This seems to have disheartened him enough that he no longer wants to even try, so they now haven't had sex in months.

He should ask his doctor about trying something else or adding something on... when I've been on anti-depressants, adding Wellbutrin (buproprion) really helped in that department, although with it I tend to cum very quickly so maybe he wouldn't want that either!

 

[MrMakersMark]

Please start a thread called "Bat Talk" please and thank you.

Shikaka!!

 

[StillRain]

It’s relieving.
Wait, are we talking about the same thing?

Pretty sure you’re stuck on the dick hole farts.

Don’t worry. Me too.

 

[SassySheDevil]

You mean, you're building bat houses so you can enjoy more sky puppies?

We have bat houses. My husband is a freak about wanting to make them his friends and name them.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Shikaka!!

My bat sanctuary will much more orderly, and cater to old boys too, not just sky puppies.

 

[MindYaBitness]

We have bat houses. My husband is a freak about wanting to make them his friends and name them.

We shouldbe friends!

 

[MrMakersMark]

My bat sanctuary will much more orderly, and cater to old boys too, not just sky puppies.

Can't believe they named that bat Statler and not Jackie Daytona.

 

[hotwords229_A]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?
How do you manage that nervous feeling?
Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?
Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?
Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?
In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?
What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

That Whoreable Feeling

Your pun game is on point.

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

Well, I've only had three 1st times, and the first first time I wasn't nervous, it was on my honeymoon. It... was terrible.
Second first time, I was nervous I'd be far too quick, so after lots of foreplay and a couple of orgasms for her, it was actually fantastic. The duration could have been longer, but it wasn't embarrassingly short, so it all turned out okay.
Third 1st time had zero anxiety and no fear. It wasn't great, but it was fun.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

Alcohol lol Really though, just reminding myself that my partner cares about me and it's not about the initial experience.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

Pretty much an emotional raw dog. I don't partake in anything other than caffeine and alcohol, and it takes WAY too much alcohol to get to me, so it isn't worth it, IMO

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Nope.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

Honesty, communication, and the tried-and-true: under-promise & over-deliver.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

I (foolishly) waited until marriage and had it built up to a mystical thing. My new bride was also a virgin and as it turns out, is TERRIBLE at sex. No amount of talking, showing, explaining, etc. could fix it, either.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Do NOT wait until marriage! In fact, talk to a friend of your sexual preference and discuss learning together. It's someone you trust, someone you already talk to, it would be awkward at first, but I think it's a great way to get the stigma over with, demystify, and develop healthy and natural behaviors.

Also, I think adults should be more intentional with teaching children about sex. There are obviously age-appropriate topics, but I don't care how liberal or uptight conservative your culture is - having a safe and trustworthy adult give facts, research based information, and a little wisdom would go a long way to make everyone develop more healthy sexual attitudes and behaviors.

 

[BongoGal]

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

I was nervous to the point of shaking my first first time. But after that I've been pretty casual about subsequent first times with people.

 

[BongoGal]

Do NOT wait until marriage! In fact, talk to a friend of your sexual preference and discuss learning together. It's someone you trust, someone you already talk to, it would be awkward at first, but I think it's a great way to get the stigma over with, demystify, and develop healthy and natural behaviors.

That's pretty much how my first time happened. We were both horny af 19-year-old virgins. There was no romance at all. We were just two friends who had this weird thing in common, and we decided to end it at the day and time of our choosing rather than wait for just the right person to come along at some unknown point in the future. I never had any regrets about it. Looking back, it seems to me like a perfect way to learn.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

That's pretty much how my first time happened. We were both horny af 19-year-old virgins. There was no romance at all. We were just two friends who had this weird thing in common, and we decided to end it at the day and time of our choosing rather than wait for just the right person to come along at some unknown point in the future. I never had any regrets about it. Looking back, it seems to me like a perfect way to learn.

Also, in my case, what a time to discover that my now "forever partner" and I have zero sexual chemistry!

 

[EvaLane]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

When you’re feeling self-cuntscious

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

When I first read this, I thought it said “how nervous were you the first time you had sex” and I was all eager to trauma dump

But anyway, it’s been about 7 years since my last “first time”. It was easier with my husband than with previous partners, probably because he already ticked so many boxes.

He was stronger, older, more experienced. I wasn’t nervous. Honestly, I didn’t have time to be nervous by the time I let his hands on me.

We were also probably drinking

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

I didn’t, really. With the two exes before him, I just played the part.

It’s easy to follow a script you’ve memorized, even if you’re not enjoying the play.

But I’ve learned that autopilot sex is boring as fuck. A partner who surprises me, who can disarm and engage me in equal measure, that’s what makes me come alive.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

I don’t need drugs to have sex - I have sex because it is a drug.

That feeling of being high off someone, the arousal, the adrenaline, the way you crave more, it can be addictive. I love that. I get obsessive with it.

Lately, I usually am on something these days. A bit of or a drink or two.

But I enjoy being sober too, especially when I want to feel everything a little faster, sharper.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

I never called them panic attacks at the time but according to my therapist, my freeze/shut down responses still count.

We’ve talked a lot about it. I’ve got tools now - learning to catch the early warning signs in my body, using safe phrases, and knowing what to do if I can’t get out of a situation right away. Sometimes that looks like journaling, walking, or, worst case, calling for an emergency session.

It’s been over a decade now, but still, I’m glad I know what to do, just in case.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to feel totally at ease before sex. I wouldn’t want to feel calm before skydiving, which is an extreme, but the same could be said about re-reading a well loved book. I still would have a sense of curiosity and excitement going into it.

I want to feel desperate. Nervous. Eager. And I want him to see it, to feel it, and burn for it.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

Me?? You think I, she, herrrrrrrrrr, meeeeeeeeee would ever overthink sex?!

Yes, but not out of fear.

I’ve always believed it could be more, should be more. Not romantic in the fairytale sense, but meaningful, almost sacred.

I’ve never been the casual type. I’ve never even been single long enough to really try. Even when I was, I wanted to give all of me to one person. That’s just how I’m wired, unfortunately.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

I’d probably just tell her to go back to sleep.

There’s nothing I could have done differently or better or smarter or wiser. She should just sleep.

 

[EvaLane]

That really bites.

For some reason, whenever a question pops up about revisiting my past self, it’s always at night. A future me popping by during the day, unannounced just seems so rude

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

I’m not sure how to answer this. Given that the number of firsts I’ve had can be counted on one hand with fingers left over probably has something to do with it. Nervous? Sure. Anxious? Yes. Self conscious? Of course. There’s emotion and “shoulds” and adrenaline and pressure and .. and .. and.. so many things that you can pile onto this one moment.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

Easy! Avoidance!

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

No, I don’t get tipsy in order to make having sex easier or making the decision to have sex easier. Is that what you mean?

When I was younger, like in college, we’d play games like strip poker or drink more heavily but those days are long behind me.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Yes but that was because of unpleasant memories that surfaced. Not because of the sex itself.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

Sure. A really great blow job. . It’s so weird just how often he’s nervous.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

I have never been a casual sex person. I kind of wish I was wilder and experimented more. But it just wasn’t what I was comfortable with.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Idk if I’d tell my virgin self anything but I’d tell my younger self to not get married so young.

 

[Wand3rlust]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

It depends. For someone who feels they have spent a lot of time in serious relationships, I've had a fair few first times. Younger ones were easier. I mean, they didn't know any more thsn I did so what was to be nervous about. But fuck me, I didn't expect it to feel like that. Even though I'd been pretty aware of my body for a long time. That's the actual first.
Now, I go from not giving a shit, cos actually, it makes a change to have sex with a human rather than *whispers* Nora (have to be careful in case she's listening). Or building it up to the point that I feel under so much pressure. But its all put on my self. I'm looking forward to the next first time.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

Drink like @Mo_Bandy can only dream of.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

not consciously. It numbs it. And thats not fun. Even ecstasy. Clean and in tune is the best.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

No.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

I'm adorable and hilarious. And totally unthreatening. So if we've got to the point where we're bumping uglies, then believe me we are both at ease.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

I've probably been guilty of that. But I'm way more chilled now.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Oh, man - could you have some fun? Chill out, and don't assume that everyone needs to be so serious.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’d probably just tell her to go back to sleep.

There’s nothing I could have done differently or better or smarter or wiser. She should just sleep.

There is zero chance I would have listened to my future self. I would have spent all my time trying to prove to myself that I was really me and then I would just give up and tell myself to go fuck myself.

Sure. A really great blow job.

Blow jobs are the greatest oxymorons. So relaxing and so exciting!

 

[summer_reine]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

I don't really have the data to know. My number is 3, sort of, depending on the definition. An educated guess, if I ever manage to have sex again, would be very nervous.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

I would just have to trust my partner to know me well enough by then to help.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

I'd really rather a first be stone cold sober but I know myself well enough to be fairly certain it simply wouldn't happen without a little booze.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Except for a couple of years when I was first married I have almost always panicked during piv unless I was drunk. But my anxiety presents as shutting down. My brain and body disconnect from each other and while I can usually prevent it now, I have not yet figured out how to get out of that headspace once I'm in it, I just sort of snap back to reality.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

Alcohol, the cause of and answer to all of life's problems

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

I trained myself not to think about sex at all so there was no build up. I am definitely not a casual sex person. My sexuality is linked to hard earned safety and trust, those are not available to me casually.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

I'd just give her a hug and tell her she will be okay. I'd tell her that she can't do anything right now but that in time she'll find what she lost. Thank you, Lit

 

[mikeyvis00]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?
How do you manage that nervous feeling?
Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?
Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?
Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?
In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?
What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Just discovered this thread, but I'd love to join this topic, I think it's interesting reading everyone's thoughts about it

Now, answering from my experience with a GF and a BF:

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?
- The first time I think it's inevitable. Even if my partner and I reach to the point of being comfortable enough with each other to share sexual intimacy, I'm going to be nervous. Maybe because I get the idea that I have to meet some kind of expectation in bed, instead of enjoying the moment.
How do you manage that nervous feeling?

- I try to keep in mind the idea that we are both taking the step at the same time, and that we are equally vulnerable to each other.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

- I don't really like the idea of being intoxicated in bed, especially the first time. I only did it once with my boyfriend, coming back from a wild night at the club. The mood was palpable, and we just let ourselves go, hahaha. Although that was after the first year, so we were already past the nervous stage.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Once, while I was dating with a guy, we went to his house and things got heated. We were fooling around in his bedroom, and I felt very close to letting it out, you know what I mean . We didn't even have the time to get fully naked. Result: complete panic. In the end, I couldn't hold it back; my nerves got the better of me, and we finished sooner than expected. We both laughed at the end though.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

- Not really, it's generally me who is a bundle of nerves. I just try to let things keep their natural course.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

- I've never been one for casual sex. I've learned to enjoy other kinds of intimacy with others beyond just jumping in the water. That really helps with anxiety when it kicks in.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?
- To be himself, not to let himself be socially pressured by others, and to explore and dare more without fear of rejection.